


Learning to Fly

by KellanCougar



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Age Difference, Barman Edward, Doctor Cullen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2018-04-06 00:49:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 123,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4201524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellanCougar/pseuds/KellanCougar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Should a fantasy ever become a reality? When an obsession with a customer consumes his every waking thought, it looks like Edward might have to redefine his own boundaries.</p>
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<p>**WINNER**<br/>Best Carlisle - Sunflower Awards 2012<br/>Best All Around Story - Hidden Star Awards 2012<br/>Most Promising Slash Fiction - Energize Awards 2012<br/>Best Slash - Wordsmith Awards 2012<br/>Best Other Non Canon Pairing - Non Canon Awards 2012<br/>Best Carlisle/Edward - Non Canon Awards 2014</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Edward’s POV**

 

Beautifully polished shoes, long lean legs splayed casually, one foot rested on the stool strut, graceful hands and fingers that gripped the glass that he casually raised to his lips.

I watched his Adams apple bob as the liquid flowed down his throat before he placed the glass down, absentmindedly touching his mouth with his thumb.

Every week, the same routine. I wondered if he himself was even aware of the fact.

If I could, I always slipped out from behind the bar to clear some glasses so that I could check him out.

So elegant.

So refined.

So fucking hot I almost couldn’t stand it.

And, just like that, I was hard as iron.

~xxXxx~

 

As I waited for Lauren to finish up in the ladies room, I thought about the hot, blond guy from the bar.

_I’m not into men, so why am I so ... obsessed... with him?_

I closed my eyes, my head slumping forward. Admitting it was the first step to acceptance. I was obsessed with this stranger; every Wednesday night I made sure I was the one standing at the bar to fix him his drink. The only words we had ever exchanged were his drink order and his habitual response for me to ‘keep the change’. And yet, after every Wednesday night shift I went home to jerk off in bed to mental images of him leaning over me, his mouth engulfing my cock as his eyes never left mine.

Every Thursday was now laundry day.

Lauren stalked out of the ladies room toward me, smirking. I wondered where she wanted to go tonight – that girl had expensive tastes for a bartender’s wages.

We ended up at a club where at least I could feel anonymous as I watched Lauren writhe to the beat, attracting admiring glances from all the men around her. My eyes glided over her firm, young body appreciatively. She had only just turned 18 and, despite her being as tempting as sun ripened fruit, was still a virgin. I was being patient, but at 20 I was pretty experienced - being a hot bartender apparently got the job done with the ladies.

Dropping her off at her mom’s later that night, I kissed her goodbye, my hand gliding over her tight ass.

“Soon, baby, soon,” she whispered, pressing her firm little apple breasts into my chest. It was all I could do not to take her up against the door frame. Pulling away from her, I breathed deeply to regain some control and arranged to see her after work the following week. She had finals coming up and her mom didn’t permit me to see her more than one a week as I was a ‘distraction’. Yeah right.

The next few days were uneventful; then Wednesday rolled around again. I watched the clock, knowing his routine, my hand shaking ever so slightly as I put out the clean glasses under the bar.

_He’s late._

I wiped down the bar top for the third time in as many minutes.

_Has he gone to another bar?_

Panicky feelings stirred under the surface at the thought of not seeing him again.

_I don’t know where he works. Hell, I don’t even know his first name._

I couldn’t concentrate on the job, uncharacteristically taciturn to the clientele. A few looked at me askance at my sharpness. Riley leaned over to me while I was at the register.

“Dude – trouble with Lauren? You’re really off tonight.” I smiled apologetically, and he slapped my shoulder before gathering up the orders for the outside patrons.

 Closing time approached, and I sent Riley home as we were all done. It had been a quiet night and I had bottled up ready for the next day. Turning off the lights, I locked the doors and headed for my car.

A soft voice called out behind me from the seating area.

“Hey.”

I stilled, but my heart was racing like a jackhammer as I slowly turned.

~xxXxx~

**Carlisle’s POV**

 I hoped I was right about this.

The bartender had occupied my waking thoughts for weeks now, ever since I had dropped in for an after-hours drink to wash away the day. After he had served me I had been unable to make my usual conversation, it was all I could do to mutter ‘keep the change’ when I passed him the note.

Something about him appeared to be attuned to me. I watched him move around the bar, gracefully, smiling and nodding at patrons, but more than once I caught him gazing at me out of the corner of my eye.

He looked at me with an intense hunger.

And I knew then that he felt the same as I did.

Waiting for him to leave the building, my hands shook with nerves. I rarely approached men unless I was very sure that my advances were invited and that they would be discreet. But this time... this time I had to know him, to feel him in every way. It was a divine force that kept driving me back to this bar. I had had to stay outside tonight to work up the courage to approach him, to risk possible rejection and yet... I did not truly believe he would reject my advances. I sensed longing and desire in every lingering look, and in the way his hand shook ever so slightly when he took my money.

Calling out to him in the darkness, I saw him halt, his posture becoming instantly rigid and yet he did not make any effort to move away. He turned slowly, his face betraying his heightened emotions, and I heard his sharp intake of breath when he saw me. I walked slowly over to him, maintaining eye contact in the shadows. As I drew close, I could see his chest rising and falling rapidly.

_Was he going to bolt?_

“My name’s Carlisle,” I said softly. “What’s yours?”

When he spoke, his voice was husky, and little above a whisper.

“Edward. My name is Edward.”

“Pleased to meet you, Edward. I thought that I should introduce myself after all this time. It’s very rude of me.” I kept my voice low, as if talking to a frightened fawn.

He looked at my outstretched hand before placing his own in mine. It was less a handshake, more an unspoken acceptance.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come inside tonight, I was a little nervous about seeing you again. You’ve been on my mind for quite some time.” I smiled before dropping my head a little, fearful of his reaction.

“I was, uh...” he swallowed with an audible click, “worried, actually. I thought perhaps you had gone to another bar; that we had not given you satisfactory service here.” He looked down at our still joined hands, making no move to separate them.

“No, the service here has always been exemplary. But after my first visit, I didn’t come back here for the service.” I looked into his eyes and saw both heat and desire in their depths.

“I apologise if I’m being too forward, but would you like to come back to my house for a drink? I’ll understand if you say no ...”

“Yes,” he said, cutting me off. “I’d like that very much.”

I nodded to the parking lot. “My car is over there, unless you’d prefer to get a cab? I can give you the address...”

With a nervous smile, he replied, “No, your car is fine.”

Letting go of his hand I reached for the other, leading him to my Mercedes, a beautiful car that came as a perk of my job as a surgeon. His long fingers tightened slightly around mine, and I felt my stomach constrict with nervous anticipation. The short drive to my townhouse was silent, but the tension was palpable in the confined space, the air heavy with promise.  I parked the car in the garage and walked around to the front door, inviting him to follow me in.

Placing my keys on the small hall table, I walked through to the kitchen to fetch ice and to try and calm the gnawing ache growing steadily worse in his close proximity. I turned to take the drinks to him and was surprised to find him standing inside the doorway, watching me. In the direct light his hair was a stunning mix of bronze tones, and I could now see that his eyes were the deepest green. I breathed deeply - he was far more intoxicating than the alcohol I held. I placed the glasses on the counter, suddenly superfluous. As I approached him slowly, I saw his breathing hitch and his pupils darken. Unable to resist him a moment longer, I reached out and stroked the length of his sharp jaw, before I looked deep into his eyes, my hand resting on his neck.

_One last chance to flee._

“Edward – are you sure?”

“Yes,” he replied huskily, and captured my mouth in a kiss that sent my stomach into tight knots of desire. Our tongues reached out for each other as my hands slid into his hair, holding his mouth firmly to mine as I explored him fully. When the kiss broke we were panting, and, with a silent invitation, I led him upstairs to my bedroom.

As the door closed I pressed him against it, kissing him again with fervour, my restraint crumbling at the taste of him on my lips. My hands were on his hips, grinding my now painful erection into his, feeling him swell further at my touch. His hands found my neck and pulled me into the kiss, becoming harder, more insistent, as our teeth clashed and lips were bitten in our hunger for each other. I pulled away just enough to nibble at his neck, biting him lightly and teasingly over his pulse point, loving his answering gasps and moans as my hot breath spilled over his throat. His hands found my shirt front and started fumbling with my buttons. I tried to help him, but in my desperation I ripped the shirt open, sending buttons popping across the room. His work uniform shirt came off swiftly, landing the far side of the room.

I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of his naked torso; the tight, dark nipples, the sculpted abs from lifting heavy crates and... O _h my..._ a beautifully marked trail leading down to his promised land. My fingers trailed down his stomach to gauge his reaction; his response was a pained whimper of purest need. Mashing my lips back to his, I pulled him away from the door and pushed him over to the bed, loving how he scrambled back on to it, looking up at me with eyes now full of undisguised lust.

Hovering over him, my lips found his nipple and sucked leisurely, hearing his rasping breaths as his chest rose and fell rapidly, cries escaping as my teeth grazed the peak.  Thumbing the other nipple, I kissed my way down his trembling body, pausing to tongue his belly button before arriving at the flat planes of his hips forming a perfect V above the waistband of his jeans. With exaggerated slowness I unfastened his belt, popping open the top button, my eyes fixed on his. His hips lifted off the bed encouraging me further and I gladly obliged; the rest of the buttons opening easily as I dragged the material free of his feet along with his socks. My eyes widened at what was revealed.

Leaning over him, my lips a hair’s breadth away from his, I asked him the one question I had fantasised over for weeks,

“What do you want, Edward? This?” My hand splayed out over his swollen length, my fingertips just touching his balls. “Or something else – like this?” And I leaned in to kiss him hard, sucking his tongue into my mouth.

His answering groan sent vibrations down my spine and I hardened still more, my tumescence painful, still clothed as I was. I slid off the bed, unfastening my own trousers and finding a modicum of relief from the pressure. He watched me, a complex mix of curiosity, fear and lust on his face. I knew that very shortly lust would win out.

Palming the lube from the bedside table, I pulled off his underwear, sucking in a breath at the sight of him naked and taking the briefest of pauses to allow my brain to catch up with my libido. His cock was beautiful, long and swollen, the tip wet and inviting.

_That’s just from my kisses. Wait til you see what my tongue can do._

Looking up the length of his body, I fixed onto those hypnotic green eyes to focus him on what I was about to do. I dragged my tongue from root to tip, sucking just the very head of him into my mouth, tasting him, dipping my tongue into that wet little slit and lapping up the bounty that flowed so freely for me. Edward was writhing beneath me groaning for more and, taking pity on him I sank down, engulfing him in my mouth and throat. He cried out, hands fisting my hair as I swallowed around him, the sensation apparently new to him as his eyes bulged wide.

“Carlisle!”

My cock twitched at the sound of my name falling from his lips for the first time.

_You’ll be screaming it again before tonight is through, Edward, I promise you._

Letting his length pop from my mouth, I licked downward, nuzzling and sucking his balls before allowing my tongue to flicker for a brief second over his puckered opening. He jerked in surprise, panting slightly as I touched there again, a little more thoroughly this time as the tight muscle yielded just enough for the point of my tongue to penetrate.  I held his thighs firmly as he jerked more strongly from the bed, his breathing coming in noisy gasps at the unfamiliar sensations I was eliciting from his tortured body. Opening the lube, I dripped some onto my fingers, covering them thoroughly. I tongued his opening once more before applying slight pressure with the knuckle of my first finger to see what he would do. He sucked in air, teeth gritted and tensing slightly before forcing himself to relax against my hand. As soon as I felt him relax I gently pressed a finger against him, feeling his outer softness give a little as I slid it into his tightness. As I slowly circled the finger inside him, his whole body shuddered and shook as the unfamiliar sensations washed over him for the very first time. Carefully gauging his reaction I slipped in a second finger, moving both in time with his gasps. Reaching up I found his cock once more and greedily sucked it in, hollowing my cheeks with the pressure.

Edward’s body was thrashing around my hand. As my finger brushed his prostate, colour flooded his neck and face and he came abruptly, screaming my name.

“ _CARLISLE!  FUCK!”_

I swallowed his gift, riding the wave with him before releasing him with a soft kiss to the tip. Edward’s breathing was raw and jerky as he came back down, and I lay next to him, gazing into his eyes.

“I never asked, Edward. Was that your first time ... with another man?”

His eyes dropped, before rising to meet mine again under his heavy lashes.

“Yes.”  His voice was rough. “But I’ve had... thoughts about it ever since...” He paused and swallowed.

“What?” I prompted gently.

“Ever since I first saw you in the bar. Seeing you there made me... _want_ something I’d never even considered before.”

“And now?” I felt concern that he might be regretting this little adventure, that I might have overstepped a boundary.

His glittering eyes met mine as his hand brushed my straining cock through the fabric.

“And now I want more, Carlisle - much more.”

With a groan of willing surrender I fell back, pulling him to me as I felt him assume control. His kiss was searing as he plundered my mouth, sucking my lip into his mouth and running his tongue along it. As his lips found my throat my head fell back, loving the feel of his hot kisses along my jaw as they moved upward. When he reached my ear, I felt his tongue on the outer shell before it slipped inside, my whole body shuddering at the intensity of sensation. When he plunged in deeper, crudely tongue fucking my ear, I cried out his name raggedly as my chest heaved with the strain. His breath on my damp skin was driving me to the point of insanity. 

And then he whispered something that almost tipped me over.

“I think of you every night, Carlisle. I have to jerk off after I see you because I can’t sleep when the image of you is so fresh in my mind. You’re the fantasy I never knew I had.”

_“Edward...”_ I begged.

“Yes, Carlisle...?”

“Touch me, Edward, please touch me...”

His hand found my cock and slid under the wet fabric, revealing me to his gaze. I heard his inward hiss.

His touch was understandably tentative but his confidence grew rapidly. After disposing of my underwear he leaned across me, nuzzling into my balls as his hand gripped me firmly.  I was afraid that he would not want to taste me, but I was happy to be proved wrong. His tongue traced the outline of my head, fluttering under the ridge and sending me into paroxysms of pleasure while I tried to hold off from coming all over his beautiful face. When his mouth slid down the length of my flesh, it was all I could do not to fuck his face hard, so close was I. What he lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm, and I only managed to hold out for a minute or so.

“I’m coming, Edward, my god, yes... _yes_... ” I expected him to pull back, but instead he met my eyes and sank down. My spasms overtook me and, with a harsh cry, I flooded his willing mouth with hot come.

~xxXxx~

 

**Edward’s POV**

I woke suddenly in the night and laid there for a moment until I remembered where I was, reliving the events of the previous hours. Turning over, I saw wide awake hazel eyes watching me.

“Can’t sleep?” His voice was low and soothing.

“Forgot where I was.” I gave an embarrassed half-laugh. In truth, I thought I had dreamed it all.

Leaning into me, he whispered into my ear:

 “I’d ask if you made a habit out of waking up in strange men’s beds but I know that not to be true.”

I groaned, his hot breath in my ear sending a rush of heat down my body. In an effort to distract myself, I turned to him.

“Did you sleep?”

“A little. Occupational hazard, I’m afraid, I’m used to surviving on very little sleep, and having you here is very ... distracting. I was afraid I would have to wake you if I stayed in this bed with you too long.”

I leaned in to kiss him, tiredness rushing back in to cradle me.

“Sleep with me, Carlisle. Please?”

He nodded his assent, lying back and pulling the covers over us. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt his warm body spoon me and a soft kiss on my shoulder.

~xxXxx~

When I next woke it was morning, and Carlisle’s arm was across me in a loose embrace as he slept. I was inexplicably happy in that moment.

In one night my world had been turned upside down and yet for the first time everything was clear. I’d heard that when you met ‘the one’ you just knew. I had just assumed mine would be a woman. I hoped Carlisle felt the same. A shiver ran through me as I considered the possibility that this might be nothing more than a simple one night stand for him. But looking at him sleeping now, I couldn’t allow myself to believe that.

_Open your eyes, Carlisle. Open your eyes and make love to me again._

As if he heard my thoughts, his eyes fluttered open and his head turned to see me smiling down at him.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” I grinned.

“Morning.” Stretching and yawning, he straightened up. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked at me like a sleepy kitten before leaning in for a kiss, which I gladly returned.

“Coffee.” Swinging his legs out of bed, he grabbed a robe and padded out to the kitchen. I heard the click of the coffeepot. Clearly he was not a morning person. Sliding out of the warm bed, I grabbed my underwear and shirt before heading to the kitchen in pursuit.

“Uh... Carlisle? Is it ok if I use your shower?”

“Sure. It’s en suite. Use the pre programmed setting. Towels are in the airing cupboard.”

“Ok ... thanks.” I watched him pour his coffee and take a sip before turning and heading back to the bedroom. Opening the door to the en suite, I stood and gaped at the enormous walk-in shower. Checking out the settings I turned it on, and almost immediately steam filled the room.

_This was going to be good._

Slipping out of my clothes, I fetched some towels ready for afterward, and then stepped under the powerful jets. I stood there for a few moments, feeling the water pound blissfully on my shoulders.

I gasped in surprise when I felt hands on my hips and teeth nibbling at my neck. An expectant smile spread across my face. Clearly my lover was now caffeinated and ready to play. Turning to face him, I was pressed back against the cold tile as he kissed me forcefully, his hands roaming my wet body before finding my hair and pulling me in as close to him as possible. We were wrestling for dominance as passionate heat rose around us. But as he palmed my morning wood, I knew he would win this particular battle as all fight within me ceased at the feel of his hand on my hard flesh.

“Please, Carlisle...” I didn’t even know what I was begging for – I just knew I didn’t want him to stop.

“What do you want, Edward?” he asked, echoing his words from the previous night. “Do you want my hand? My mouth...” Leaning in close he whispered directly into my ear, “or my ass?” I groaned as the full implication of what he was saying sank in.

_I could fuck him. I could. But what if I do it wrong, what if I hurt him?_

He pulled back a little, sensing my hesitation. Looking deep in my eyes he leaned in once more, his nose lightly brushing mine. When he spoke, his voice was a dark, silky whisper.

“Do you want me to fuck _you_ , Edward? Is that what you want?” My body shook at the suggestion, but I couldn’t deny that the very thought of submitting to him turned me on to the point of madness. I nodded mutely.

“OK, we can do that. But we need to get you ready first.”  He reached for a bottle of lube from the shampoo rail and smiled at my expression.  “It’s waterproof. Comes in handy in the mornings, shall we say. And when I get home from a certain bar...” He raised an eyebrow; the inflection was not lost on me, and my knees sagged at the thought of him jerking off thinking of me.

“Let’s take this slow. You set the pace. Now, turn around and place your hands on the seat. That’s it - just like that. Now try to relax. I won’t hurt you.”

I heard the click of the bottle being opened before his fingers found my crease and gently massaged down it with the lube. I felt more trickle onto my skin as his fingers lightly traced my opening, spreading the lube all around, making me squirm. His fingertip entered me once again, and I forced my body to relax and accept it, knowing now how good it could feel. Once his finger pressed all the way in he paused before adding another. I breathed out hard. Rubbing my back in support, he trailed kisses down my spine as his fingers opened out to slowly stretch me, giving me time to adjust to the feeling. The kisses and touches were having an effect, and I sighed as the sensation started to build. Slowly, he removed his fingers and I heard the unmistakable crackling of a condom packet being opened.  I felt fear and panic bubble up inside me, and sensing this, Carlisle spoke quietly and reassuringly.

“We don’t have to do this, Edward. Just say the word and we stop.” I shook my head resolutely. I wanted to do this, to take Carlisle into me and be one with him.

I took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

I heard the lube bottle again and felt Carlisle’s comforting hand on my back once more before the head of his cock pressed into me.

_Oh GOD. He’s too big. I can’t._

He kept up the gentle pressure until I relaxed and suddenly he was past the muscle, sitting partway inside me. I whimpered out loud, feeling sparks shoot through my whole body. He didn’t move, just kept rubbing my back until my body adjusted and he was able to slide in the rest of the way. I heard his gasps behind me as he resisted the urge to move.

“You feel incredible, Edward,” he whispered, “now relax as much as you can and let me show you how good this can feel." 

I tried to do as he suggested, but I was still fearful of the pain if he started to move. He withdrew, and I was sure that I was a disappointment to him. But, with a kiss, he turned me around and indicated that I should sit on the seat. Leaving me for a moment, he returned with a folded towel which he placed on the floor. I looked at him in confusion. Kneeling down on the makeshift cushion, he pulled my hips to the edge of the seat, spreading my thighs wide. The look in his eyes made me shake. This time, as he entered me, his eyes were locked onto mine, watching every flicker of emotion as it crossed my face. I cried out when, fully sheathed within me, he palmed my aching cock. As he started to move, so carefully, his hand kept up the rhythm on my flesh and he found a tempo that suited us both. Pressing deeply into me and then withdrawing, his cock head rubbed my sweet spot like his fingers had the night before, and I felt my body start to unravel as the pressure suddenly started to build. 

_My god, the feel of him. It’s like nothing else. So full..._

His eyes were dark pools of heat, and I couldn’t look away. It was an intense connection, watching his face as he fucked me under the hot shower, steam swirling around us. My cock was throbbing and seeping in his hand, and I knew orgasm was merely seconds away. 

“Edward... Edward... come with me...” His hand worked my cock, but it was his moans of pleasure that tipped me over the edge, shooting streams of come all over my belly before the cascading water washed me clean. 

I felt him stiffen and pause before collapsing forward onto me, his breathing laboured and heavy. 

When he withdrew from me I slid to the floor with him, drawing him into a heartfelt kiss of gratitude. He had known how to make it work for me, how to beat the fear I had felt. Taking me in his arms, he murmured soft words and endearments as he made sure I was OK. Encouraging me to stand, he led me to the main power shower jets and washed me thoroughly and tenderly, even shampooing my hair. 

Unfortunately, reality intruded on our idyll as we both had jobs that required our attention. Once dressed, I drank my coffee and watched Carlisle get suited and booted for the office.

Looking at him now, he was once again that elegant, refined customer that I gazed longingly at every Wednesday night. 

But now everything was different. And I had a girlfriend to let down gently. I felt like shit about cheating on Lauren, but I couldn’t deny that Carlisle had been in my mind first; I had just never thought anything could happen between us. 

_Life really is full of surprises._

Carlisle pulled into the parking lot at the bar, empty of patrons at this early hour. Turning to me he looked nervous, which surprised me. 

“Edward, my life is busy and crazy at times, but I’d really like to see you again. Are you free this weekend? I thought we could go out, or I can cook. I usually see my daughter at the weekends but she’s studying for finals right now and doesn’t want the distraction of seeing her old man.” 

“I’d really like that. Let me know when you finish and I can be ready here.” He handed me his phone and I keyed in my number. 

 I handed it back and, checking around to see if we really were alone, I leaned in and kissed him one last time to last me until Friday night. I pulled away as his phone bleeped and a message appeared on the screen. Carlisle laughed. 

“Apparently her mother won’t let her see her boyfriend while she’s studying and she actually wishes she was coming to stay with me this weekend! That’s a turn up for the books! Just give me a second to sort this out.” 

He hit speed dial and the next words were like ice water down my neck. 

“Hey Lauren, sweetie, its Daddy...”

 

**~xxXxx~**


	2. Chapter 2

**EPOV**

Ending the call, Carlisle leaned in to me, smiling and relaxed.

In contrast I was free-falling, overwhelmed with guilt and shame.

His hand slid around the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep kiss that sent waves of lust coursing through me as my traitorous body responded to his demanding lips. His tongue caressed mine in an erotic dance, making my body flame with heat as it promised delights beyond compare. I heard a helpless, desperate groan and realised it came from me, my body aroused even as my mind wandered aimlessly in a wasteland of confusion.

When the kiss broke we were both a little breathless and shaky. He rested his forehead on mine for a moment before touching his thumb to his lip in a familiar gesture, his eyes dark. Looking into those eyes I could still feel him in me from this morning - it was like he’d left a space.

“I’ll call you Friday. Well, tomorrow, now,” he said with a smile that made my chest ache. My answering grin was only slightly forced as I reached groggily for the door, my breathing uneven as desire for him blended with the pain of my impending loss.

“Until tomorrow.” I closed the door and the car purred away, taking him... where? I never did ask him what he did.

_We had been a bit... distracted._

I grinned in spite of myself. But then reality hit and I groaned. Unlocking the bar, I went inside and flicked on the lights. Lifting down a stool I sat, my head falling into my hands.

_How did this happen? How could he be Lauren’s_ father _?_

It was surreal. I had to end this before everyone involved got hurt. I would break it off with Lauren as planned, and then end it with Carlisle. That way, neither would ever know about the other and they would be spared the unnecessary pain and embarrassment. I felt a little better, more in control, the decision made in my mind.

_Well, that’s not strictly true, is it?_

The thought of ending my relationship with Carlisle before it ever had the chance to truly begin brought back that raw ache in my chest with a vengeance.

_It’s your own fault. You cheated on Lauren._

Yes. Yes I did. But this price was too high.

But who would have guessed that she was his daughter? Lots of girls have long, blonde hair – it didn’t make them all related to Carlisle, did it? And even if I had broken it off with her beforehand, it wouldn’t change the basic facts as they stood.

_He’s her FATHER. She’s never going to be okay with that. Does she even know he’s gay?_

My head shot up at that thought.

_Oh my god. I could have outed him to his own daughter. I could have ruined his relationship with her._

_He’s better off without me in his life. I would just fuck it up for him._

Alone in the empty bar, sinking down under the weight of my own self-loathing, my shoulders shook with silent sobs as the future I craved shattered around me like fine crystal on a marble floor.

~xxXxx~

**CPOV**

Throughout the day, many people commented on my constant smile. While that was not that unusual in itself, I was by nature a contemplative person, often lost in thought; more so since my first visit to McCarty’s bar, a few short weeks ago. They asked me the reason: did I have a secret? A new lady friend, perhaps? I just laughed and brushed away their questions, never confirming or denying.

Three long standing colleagues knew of my orientation, and I trusted them implicitly. But that trust did not mean they could control their curiosity any more than the other staff, and so it was only a matter of time before I was cornered by Alice and Rosalie in my office and asked to explain myself. Alice, in particular, was persistent, and would not be denied details.

“You met someone.” It was given as a statement of fact, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she leaned in conspiratorially. “Is it him? You one you’ve been obsessing over these past weeks?”

I cleared my throat, feeling the heat of a tell-tale flush on my chest and neck at the thought of this morning’s shower. Alice could always be relied upon not to miss such telling details.

“Dr Cullen - you bad boy! Corrupting them young now, are we?” She giggled as I looked momentarily affronted at her accusation, my mouth open to deny the statement before realising that she was right.

Looking her straight in the eye I shot back:  “How do you know it’s not _he_ that is corrupting _me?_ ”

 

I raised an eyebrow, laughing at their dumbfounded expressions.

_I’m going to be the topic of conversation at lunch today. Better have some ice handy for my burning ears._

I shooed Alice and Rosalie out of my office and back to work as their break was almost over. As the door was closing, I heard Rosalie’s soft voice drift back into the room:

“We’re going to need details later...”

 Sitting down, I pondered Alice’s comment, shaking my head at their audacity.

_He’s certainly younger than me - I’d guess no more than 3 or 4 years older than Lauren._

_Note to self: find out_.

I wasn’t unduly worried. After all, Esme and I had been so very young when we had Lauren, and I was still only 36. Esme had looked after her as I studied, and she had found work in the evenings to make ends meet. What neither of us had known was that I had been young and inexperienced in life, and all too late I had realised that I was sexually attracted to men. When I met Garrett at medical school the attraction had been instant, and I had been completely honest with Esme. We had cried and I had apologised over and over as we sobbed in each other’s arms. I swore to her that I hadn’t as much as kissed Garrett out of respect for her. Esme said she had suspected I wasn’t happy. Our sex life had been perfunctory after Lauren came along, and with no effort on my part had eventually dwindled away completely. That night we talked until the sun came up and finally decided to stay living together until I could afford to move out. As a result, Lauren had never known us as a couple, only as two people who loved her and shared her life, but not each other’s.

Esme had moved on with her life and married again, only to lose him in a tragic road accident when Lauren was 10. Since then, she and our daughter had lived alone. I still admired and respected her immensely.

Garrett and I had been a couple until we qualified as doctors when he then left for LA to specialise in plastic surgery. I had fulfilled my dream and become an ER medic. The split had been amicable enough, our time together ending naturally as our lives took separate directions. Over the years I had had a couple of long term loves, one several years my senior. That man had been a huge part of my life and I realised that I was now that older man in this new relationship and with that came great responsibility.

_I hope I get to teach him as much as Marcus taught me._

I smiled fondly at the thought.  The loss of Marcus, his sudden, unexpected heart attack, had been a dreadful shock that had left me reeling. I had been on my own for a considerable time after that, unable to forge that connection, that _bond_ with another soul.

_Until now._

The smile spread across my face. The next 24 hours were going to pass exceedingly slowly until I could see those green eyes again, their expressive depths full of heat and longing. I shook myself mentally.

_Get back to work._

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

So I was meant to be seeing Carlisle on Friday and Lauren on Saturday.

I needed a plan.

Lauren’s mother was very protective of her and a firm rule enforcer. I needed to find a way to see her without her mom finding out. With much trepidation, I pulled out my phone and messaged her to meet me after classes ended that afternoon. Her response was quick:

**Studying w/Jess 2nite. Might b able 2 slip out b4 mom gets here. Say 7?**

I sighed. The bar would be getting busy at seven with all the after work drinkers, and it also meant leaving Riley to cope on his own for at least an hour.

_Longer if this goes badly._

I had no choice. Picking up the phone, I made the call.

“Emm? It’s Edward. I’m at the bar. Yeah, all ready to open up which is why I’m calling. Can anyone step in for me tonight? I have some urgent shit to sort out and I don’t want Riley left to run the place on his own. I’d rather get it sorted in private, much better for everyone concerned. Last thing I want is for it all to kick off in the bar tonight. Sorry for the short notice, man. Yeah, tonight should be enough. I appreciate this. Yeah, I owe you one.”

As I disconnected I breathed a sigh of relief. Emmett McCarty was the owner of McCarty’s bar and an old school friend of mine. He had built himself a solid business and had employed me as manager as soon as the place was ready to open. I worked hard, looked after the customers and never (usually) mixed business with pleasure. Relationship fallout in the bar could get ugly, and we didn’t want a reputation for trouble here. Which was why he was stepping in for me tonight – anything to avoid a showdown in his establishment.

Fifteen minutes later Emm walked in, telling me to move my ass and let the professionals do their job. I grinned, slapping his shoulder as I walked back out to my car. Closing the door I sat for a minute, wondering just how I was going to survive the next 48 hours. Carlisle was under my skin, and a part of me died at the thought of never touching him again.

_For one night, life had seemed so perfect._

I was at a loss, completely unfamiliar with these feelings. In my own head I sounded like a sappy teenage girl.

The guilt hit me all over again. Starting the car I crawled home, feeling the weight of two people’s happiness slowly crushing me.

Once home I paced my small apartment, unable to settle as I watched the clock edge interminably toward 6:30. Pausing only to change my shirt, I climbed back into the car and set off for Jess’ house. I drove in silence, the words I had practiced in my head changing and switching until I was sure I was going to just blurt out the one thing I could never say:

“I’m in love with your father.” _Oh yeah. That’d be just perfect._

I watched the view change from tree lined avenues to more modest backyards, until finally I reached the right place. Pulling up behind an elderly Buick LeSabre, I parked my Subaru and switched off the engine. I was a little early but I could wait.

I was starting to sweat. Under regular circumstances I would have had little trouble breaking it off with a girl, but this was entirely different. I kept picturing Carlisle’s beautiful face twisted in disgust and it spurred me on.

Seeing movement out of the corner of my eye, I looked up to see Lauren walking carefully down the cracked and pitted path, mindful of her heels, before hurrying across the kerb to the car. Opening the door, she hopped in, all smiles, her long blonde hair over one shoulder. She leaned in to kiss me and I turned just enough that her lips met my cheek. She sat back, worry etched on her beautiful face. It was several seconds before I could meet her gaze.

“Edward? What is it?”

I swallowed hard, my eyes closed.

_Find the words. Tell her._

“Edward? Talk to me.” Her voice was cracking as she reached for me again. Opening my eyes, I moved my head away from her hand as I looked at her, breathing in sharply.

“Lauren, I can’t... see you anymore. It’s nothing you’ve done, I promise you.” I stumbled over the words, acutely aware of the cliché I was perpetrating. She interrupted me almost immediately, her voice an octave higher than before, fear taking hold.

“Is it mom? I know she’s tough, but after exams...”

“No, it’s not that...”

“Is it because I won’t sleep with you? Is that some sort of deal breaker? I know I said I needed time, Edward, but I’ll do other stuff if that’s what it takes to keep you until I’m ready...”

_Just say yes, give her the believable lie..._

I saw the tears glistening as her voice shook, and I berated myself inwardly for making this so difficult. The first tear slid down her cheek, leaving a wet trail line in her perfectly applied powder.

“No, no Lauren, it’s not that at all. I just can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair to you.” More tears escaped as she struggled to understand my mumblings.

_How could she? Until last night I hadn’t understood what I truly wanted either._

“Lauren. I never intended to hurt you. I swear. But the truth is _(breathe, just breathe...)_ I don’t see us going anywhere long term and I think you would be better off with someone who can give you what you deserve.”

“But I love you, Edward... and I know you love me...” I winced, which didn’t go unnoticed. She recoiled.

“You don’t love me? So what - you were just going to bang me so you could say you were my first, and then dump me anyway? Is that it? Do you want me suck you off right now - would _that_ be enough for you and your precious reputation?” The temper that I found so unappealing about her was escalating rapidly.

I took a deep breath. “Lauren, I want to date someone older and more experienced. There – I said it.”

I heard her gasp, and felt the movement of air before her hand hit my face with a resounding crack. My head was knocked sideways and I felt a sharp pain as my neck twisted sharply.

“You bastard! You think you can do better than me? Is that it? Well, go ahead and try because I’m better than you deserve. I hope, whoever she is, that she’s worth it. No one will want you when I’ve told everyone what you’re like, so don’t even think about hitting on any of my friends in the bar.”

She wrenched open the door, slamming it closed behind her as she stalked back to Jess’ front door. My fingers clasped around my head before knotting in my hair. Not wanting to risk the wrath of her mother, I quickly pulled away from the kerb. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I saw the red mark flaring on my cheek.

_That went well..._

_I better warn Emmett. Looks like trouble could be on the cards at work after all._

~xxXxx~

**CPOV**

Tearing off my gloves I felt satisfaction that the young girl would make a full recovery. As she was wheeled off to recovery, I made my way to my office to shower and change. Passing the booking board I saw my final theatre slot had been cancelled as the patient had transferred to a private clinic. As I wasn’t on call tonight I changed my plans and quickly changed into my street clothes, deciding to go home to clean up.

Leaving the office I went to the admit desk to advise them if anyone needed me urgently I would have my bleeper with me, otherwise I was done for the night. Heading out into the late afternoon sunshine I found myself once again thinking of Edward. He had made a profound impact on me and I was a little nervous that I was raising my hopes only to have them dashed. He was, after all, a stunningly beautiful man who could have his pick of admirers – would he really want to settle for an older guy? Once the novelty wore off he might decide to leave me and go back to dating women instead; that was always a risk.

My insecurities were taking hold. I shook my head.

_Enough worrying. Enjoy the moment and live in the now, Carlisle._

“You’re the fantasy I never knew I had.” With those words ringing in my ears, hope soared once again.

Arriving home, I placed my phone and beeper on the counter and made my way upstairs. Shrugging off my clothes, I walked into the shower and let the hot water soothe me. My hands were flat against the tile; I bowed my head as the water poured over me, vivid recollections of that morning rising unbidden behind my closed eyes.  His choice had both surprised and delighted me when he allowed me the privilege of worshipping his body. I had expected him to shy away from the more physical aspect of lovemaking, and I felt momentarily guilty for causing him any pain or discomfort during that first, wonderful new experience. I regretted trying to take him in that position for his first time; face to face was more intimate and reassuring and watching his beautiful face contort with pleasure, the tight feel of him wrapped around me had been second to none. His pleasure was my pleasure, and all I had wanted was to drive him to ecstasy over and over again. Hearing him cry out and lose control had made me the happiest man on the planet at that moment.

I hadn’t felt this way since Marcus. I never thought I would again.

_Please let him feel the same way._

I raised my face to the water for a moment before wiping my eyes and nose and leaning in, arms over my head, letting the jets pummel my shoulders. A groan escaped unbidden at the feel of their force on my knotted muscles. It had been a good day, no major complications in theatre – pretty routine all in all.

I smiled as I thought of Alistair. The girls had been talking to him during a rare quiet moment, and he had found me to ask me light hearted questions about my ‘mystery guy’ and if it was serious. I had fought back with questions about Liam, an Irish nurse that he had a fondness for. He had tried to parry but knew me well enough that I wouldn’t share until I was sure of how firm the grounding was. I was still too insecure about this fledgling partnership to be broadcasting it from the rooftops. He relented, but only because he was anxious for me to be ‘settled’ as he put it. Also, Alice, Rose and he worried about me being alone so much and made sure I was included in any group activity or entertainment that they arranged. I suspected that several of these gatherings had been organised solely for my benefit, however much Alice vehemently denied the accusation. Her eyes always held a ‘tell’ – she would be useless at poker.

To be fair, I was grateful for their interventions. I was a workaholic, I admitted as much. It covered my lack of a home life with a credible reason as to why I couldn’t date.

_I simply don’t have the time._ My standard comeback.

But Alistair and the girls knew I was lonely. They also knew it was completely out of character for me to go to a bar alone. I don’t actually know what came over me that day. I remember that I had lost a patient that afternoon – a cardiac tamponade had proved too much for my patient and she had died on the table. I felt remorse, even though there had been nothing more I could do for her – her heart was too weak. But still, I had berated myself in private for missing some clue. Driving by McCarty’s bar that Wednesday evening I had stopped on impulse. Without looking up I had ordered a Jack Daniels and coke, barely noticing my surroundings or the barman who took the order. However, when the drink arrived I looked up into green eyes with dilated pupils and a succulent mouth with slightly parted lips. I hadn’t been prepared for the punch to the gut I felt when I met those eyes, and I knew then and there that it wasn’t alcohol I craved, it was affection and intimacy. I paid him, barely able to form a coherent sentence, and so began my weekly visit to buy a drink I neither wanted nor needed. What I wanted couldn’t be found at the bottom of a shot glass or whisky tumbler, but I knew that he worked Wednesday nights... and that he watched me.

~xxXxx~

Flipping off the water, I roughly dried my hair and body before wrapping a fresh towel around my hips. Padding through to the bedroom I picked out my favourite jeans and a soft, well–worn shirt. Before I had the time to change however, I heard the chime of the doorbell. Looking down at the towel in exasperation, I knotted it firmly in place and ran downstairs to see what was important. I didn’t tend to get many visitors this far out of town.

Looking out of the small glass porthole, I couldn’t see a car. I opened the door partway, intending to get rid of the offending person who was standing between me and my relaxing evening.

“Can I come in?”

I didn’t know why he was here, nor did I care. Looking into those eyes, all I could think was that him being here was divine intervention. I stepped back, opening the door wider for him to step inside. He walked through to the kitchen, and under the harsher light I could see he looked worried and agitated.

“Edward, what happened? Talk to me.”

He looked up at me before dropping his head, his eyes squeezed shut. When he opened them again he seemed to gather himself.

“I... I... have to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it. Not at all.”

My heart sank like a stone.

 “I... should have said something this morning but it was a shock and I needed time...” he tailed off, having trouble finding the words. I decided to help him out for both our sakes.

“You regret last night,” I stated simply. “I was afraid of this. I’m so sorry, Edward. I never intended for you to do anything you didn’t want to do.”

I was suddenly very conscious of the fact I was wearing only a towel. He looked at me in disbelief.

“No, no. I wanted to tell you that, to make this easier. But it would be a lie, Carlisle, and I owe it to you to be honest.”

“You don’t regret what we did? You don’t hate me for ‘perverting’ you in some way?”

I heard his throat click as he swallowed.

“I don’t regret a single moment of last night, or this morning, for that matter. It was perfect. It just can’t happen again.” His voice was strained. I reached out a hand to him.

“Edward, look at me. This is important. Did I hurt you? Physically, I mean? You need to tell me.”

He shook his head. Raising his eyes to mine, I saw hesitation mingled with desire as he took in my state of undress. Crossing the short distance between us he walked past me, heading out the door before stopping, seeming to suddenly make a decision. As I turned toward him he joined me quickly, his lips crashing into mine as his hand dived into my hair. I returned the kiss with heat, not understanding his thoughts but swept along by his passion and desperation. Pressed against the doorframe I was momentarily paralysed with lust, but when his hand found my obvious interest beneath the towel I groaned, and my hands moved to his shirt buttons. I opened them quickly and he shrugged off the shirt, throwing it at the counter where it slid onto the floor with a soft clatter. 

Cradling his head in my hand, I heard his needy moan as my tongue flickered against his. His hand found my erection again, slipping beneath the towel to firmly massage my eager flesh. In response, my free hand roughly loosened his belt buckle enough to be able to slide inside the fabric and grip his ass. His breathing was raw, urgent... he was devouring me in his hunger and I struggled to breathe, yet still I held his face tightly to mine, unable to get enough of his lips.

When he finally pulled away, his lips swollen and deliciously reddened, his hoarse words made my heart race:

“I want you, Carlisle. Take me upstairs and show me how to make you scream.”

As we stood panting in the hallway there was a rattle as the front door opened, and a tearful voice was heard:

“He dumped me, daddy. He says he wants someone older and I don’t...”

Too late, her eyes fixed on Edward who looked like he was going to be physically sick.

And then I understood.

 

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Firstly let me just say that I had no intention of continuing this at all. None. It was a simple one shot. But, after quite a few prods and pleadings from readers, I agreed to try. Here is the result – I hope it doesn’t disappoint. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and to my loyal pre readers who fought to get their hands on this first! So, if you like this, tell me! A few simple words of encouragement mean the world to a writer. 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. As Kylie said, I should be so lucky.


	3. Chapter 3

**CPOV**

“What is _he_ doing here?” Lauren was staring at Edward.

_Oh god, they know each other. He probably dates one of her friends from the bar, Jessica is it? And now Lauren will have to tell her the truth about why he really dumped her._

I tightened my towel around my near nakedness, grateful that I had my back to the doorframe and most of my body was mercifully hidden from view. I turned back to Edward; he sat slumped on the floor, shirtless, looking like a condemned man on death row waiting for his name to be called. I looked back at my daughter who stood with her fist covering her mouth, her eyes wide.

“Sweetheart - I know this is a shock, one I would have given anything to shelter you from, but right now I need you to go into the lounge room, close the door and wait for me there. Okay?”

For a moment I didn’t think she heard me, but she slowly turned and did as I asked, the door closing softly behind her. I exhaled loudly.

 “Edward?” He looked away, unwilling to meet my eyes. His face was contorted with self- loathing and when I lightly touched his shoulder, my thumb brushing the hollow at the base of his throat, he flinched. I pulled my hand back.

_I know you came here tonight to end it, Edward. I just wish you’d tell me why._

“Edward? Look at me. I’m going upstairs to change and then I’m going to talk to Lauren.” His face was white, his eyes wide and dark in his pale face as he nodded stiffly. His hands were roughly combing through his hair, making it stand up in untidy spikes. “Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I ran upstairs, closing the door and sinking down onto the bed, allowing myself a moment to recoup. Just moments before, I had been ready and willing to teach Edward all the delights of my body and, even as my erection subsided, I still shook with the aftershock of adrenalin and desire flooding my veins. Standing up I dropped the towel, climbing into my jeans and shirt that still lay on the bed from earlier. I slid my bare feet into my well-worn loafers, took a deep breath, and descended the stairs.

Walking into the lounge room, I saw Lauren sitting rigidly on the couch; I walked over to her, sitting a short distance away to give her some space. She was quiet for a few moments and then before I could speak she turned on me, high colour in her cheeks.

“How could you? How could you _do_ that to Uncle Marcus? Didn’t you love him?” Her voice was shrill, her words catching me off guard.

Gathering my wits at this unexpected turn, I tried to respond:

“Lauren, I loved Uncle Marcus more than you can imagine and I miss him still.”

“But you’re... you’re _cheating_ on his memory, dad. It’s so wrong! I loved him and I don’t want you to replace him with some new man; and definitely not with _him_.” She pointed jerkily at the door. “Mom didn’t replace Peter, did she? And we were happy as we were. So why do you have to find someone else?”

Angry tears were starting to run down her face. I reached out for her, but she shrank away from me.

_My little girl’s had a traumatic night and I’ve made it worse._

“Because life moves on, sweetheart, that’s why. Your dad has been alone for nearly three years now and I want someone special in my life again – someone I can love as much as I loved Marcus. I know that he wanted me to move on, sweetie. I never told you this because you were young, but he once told me that if anything should happen to him I was to mourn him and let him go, not spend my life living in the past and missing the future I was meant to have. At the time I told him he was crazy, the thought of losing him was incomprehensible; I was convinced that I would die too. But I didn’t.”

I met her eyes, my tone soft and sincere, begging her to understand.

“I know you’ve grown used to me being on my own; I have too. I never thought I would meet anyone who measured up to Marcus in my eyes, but... I think I have. It’s still very new, and we’re getting to know each other but...”

“But what? He’s only 20, dad! Hardly older than me! It’s so gross! Why would he want to be with someone old? And anyway, why the hell would he want to be with _you_? He dates women, not men, and from what I hear he likes sex a _whole_ lot, and it’s not like you have sex at your age! Just the thought of that is too disgusting!”

I took a deep breath to calm myself.

_He’s 20. Even younger than I thought._

“Sweetheart, what would you do if your mom met someone new? It could happen one day. You really need to think about how you would react if it did. And as for Edward being 20, well, Marcus was a good deal older than I and it didn’t matter to either of us. It probably didn’t cross your mind when you were little. You saw him as a favourite uncle and another ‘dad’ figure after Peter died, but...”

“How much older?” Her voice wobbled.

“Is that really important?”

She glared at me. “I can always ask mom if you won’t tell me. How. Much. Older?”

I sighed heavily. “Marcus was 49 when he passed. He was 16 years my senior.”

_The same age gap as Edward and I. Is history repeating itself?_

Lauren’s mouth fell open. “He was old enough to be my grandpa? But... but that’s so _wrong_ , daddy. And you never told me this?”

I felt the weight of her judgement on my shoulders and was glad that Marcus was not here to witness this. He had loved her so very much and her words, albeit spoken in anger and pain, would have crushed him.

I felt my eyes grow blurry, and I blinked hard to clear them. My voice now had a cracked quality to it as I struggled to keep my emotions from overtaking me.

“Tell me, would you have loved him any less if you had known?” She looked momentarily blindsided but said nothing.

“What you need to understand, sweetheart, is that love is love. Age is just a number.”

I took a breath and pulled myself together, running my hands through my tousled hair to regain focus.  Changing the subject before it could get more painful, I remembered her words when she had burst in on us.

“So, tell me again about this Eric boy and why he’s dumping you... ”

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

_Please no, not like this._

I had wanted to be the one to tell him; it was not supposed to end this way with Carlisle in pain because of me. But I was weak. I had needed to be with him once more, to feel his body pressed so close to mine that neither knew where one ended and the other began... I wanted to commit everything about him to my memory before I walked out of his life, and, because of me, we had been caught.

Seeing Lauren’s shocked face I knew I had failed. Now everything was out in the open, and I had lost my chance to make it right. I sank to the floor, my hands threading through my hair in panic. I dimly heard Carlisle telling her to go into the other room and was shocked when she did as she was told with no argument. But, when he leant down to talk to me, I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was too terrified by what I might see there, and I knew that my own would proclaim my guilt.

Suddenly cold I reached for my shirt, fastening the buttons without thought. I fought the urge to follow him upstairs and beg him to listen to me; to make him understand that I had tried to make this right.

_What happens now? He said to wait, but perhaps I should just go._

I could hear Lauren’s muffled voice growing progressively louder as she no doubt filled Carlisle in on the whole sorry story.

I pulled myself up and made for the front door. Passing the lounge room, I paused when I clearly heard Carlisle say the name ‘Eric’.

_Eric Yorkie? What did he have to do with this?_

“His name isn’t Eric, daddy...” Lauren’s voice was loud and clear now as I stood outside the lounge room door.

_Oh good._

Oh...

This was it.

Game over.

_Be a man._

I took a steadying breath and pushed open the door, catching and holding Carlisle’s surprised gaze. I swallowed once and finally spoke.

“His name isn’t Eric, its Edward.”

I watched as he looked from me to Lauren and back again, watched the realisation and shock darken his beautiful face. I knew then that it was over, but still I waited. His tone was stiff and cold.

“I need some time. I think it’s best if you leave, Edward.”

I nodded once, respectfully, and backed out of the room, closing the door. As I walked to the front door I heard footsteps behind me, and turning, I saw Lauren hurrying after me. My heart sank.

“What do you want, Lauren? It’s over. All of it.”

“Is your car here? I think we need to talk.”

I nodded.

I had parked out of the sight of the house, unsure at the time if I would have the courage to face him. She fell into step next to me, not speaking; the only noise was the clicking of her heels on the asphalt. Reaching my car we both climbed in and sat, neither knowing what to say to the other. It was me that finally broke the silence.

“I’m so sorry I lied to you.” I stared at my clenched hands, the knuckles glaringly white. “I know this whole thing must be a shock.  I’m not gay; I need you to know that. I’m not. And, until last night I had never...” I stopped short of giving her the visual.

She turned in her seat to stare at me in disbelief and horror.

“Oh my god. Oh my _god._ You slept with dad?! Gross, just... gross _._ I don’t need to hear this.” Her voice was loud in the confined space, and it sounded like she was on the verge of hyperventilation. “So if you’re _not_ gay, Edward, why are you sleeping with men? I just told dad that this was all a mistake because you like _girls_!”

I shook my head, scowling as I tried to make her understand.

“It’s not ‘men’, it’s just him. It’s just Carlisle.”

“So all this time you’ve just been stringing me along to get to my dad?  You must be pretty proud of yourself.” Her bitter words stung. I scraped my hand roughly through my hair.

“For your information, I had no idea who he was when we met, I swear. We just liked each other too much to... to ignore it. You know perfectly well that I’d never met your dad, only your mom. And we all know what she thinks of me.” I grimaced, momentarily distracted by thoughts of Esme’s disapproval.

“Yeah, she thinks you’re too ‘experienced’ for me,” she made air quotes around the word, “and that you might lead me down the wrong path and corrupt me. I told her it’s all in her head.”

“Well, she’ll certainly have something to say about all this. Her opinion of me will be rock bottom now – sediment level.”

She snorted ruefully. I took a deep breath.

 “Lauren, I swear to you that, when I found out who he was, I tried to end it with both of you so you didn’t have to find out. I was terrified that you might not know that he was gay, and that I might be divulging some big secret.”

“Of course I knew.” She sounded almost amused. “He and Uncle Marcus were together for years. The law meant they couldn’t get married, but they might as well have been.”

“Who’s Marcus? Is he still in Carlisle’s life?” My voice was husky, pained at the thought of sharing him with anyone. I reminded myself that he wasn’t mine, and probably never would be again.

I looked up to see tears in her eyes. She shook her head, her voice uncharacteristically small, like a child’s.

“He died. It was so unexpected. They’d been together since I was seven. Dad loved him so much and so did I. When Mom’s husband, Peter, died, Uncle Marcus sort of stepped up and became another ‘dad’ figure to me. I was spoilt rotten. They were awesome together and he and mom got on well too; we were one big happy family. I never thought about his age, or noticed just how much older than dad he was...”

Tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. She sniffed, wiping her eyes before continuing.

“Dad was a mess after the funeral. Mom wanted him to get bereavement counselling but he wouldn’t hear of it. It’s been over three years now and he hasn’t dated anyone that we know of since then. He works way too hard to cover the fact that he doesn’t want to come home. I spend most weekends with him now, and we have fun together. I want him to be happy, but I’m scared that if he meets someone else he won’t have time for me anymore.”

My mind whirled. Firstly, after all my fears, she knew about her father. Secondly, she hadn’t scratched my eyes out with her fingernails despite ample provocation.

“What are you saying, Lauren?”

“That this was just a – an experiment for you. You’re tried it, and now you can move on. Leave him be. You and he make no sense; he’s old and doesn’t need sex at his age. He needs someone stable and dependable; a companion, to make him happy.”

I closed my eyes, picturing him leaning over me, desire burning in his eyes.   

_Oh, Lauren, you don’t understand. He needs so much more than that._

 “I can’t make this right no matter what I do and trying has proved worse than useless. I came here to end it with him tonight; to convince him that I’d changed my mind so that he would never ever find out that I had dated both of you. Of course it didn’t occur to me that you discussed your relationships with him. I thought it would be Esme that you confided in. Wrong again.”

I laughed, hollowly. Looking at her, I could see pain etched across her perfect features, her pretty mouth drawn down in misery.

“Why him, Edward? Because you just ‘liked him’? So you get on well – that doesn’t mean you have to do... stuff... with him. It’s crazy! You’re straight! I _know_ you are! You get a hard on whenever I press up against you. If I’d let you, you would have banged me on my front porch.”

I chuckled, wryly. “I don’t deny that. But this is different. This is... more. It took me by surprise and I couldn’t fight it – more importantly, I didn’t want to. It feels right.”

Looking at her anguished face, I realised that she would never accept the truth no matter how blatant it was. I had exhausted all my avenues of reason.

_Perhaps Carlisle would have better luck._

“How? How can it be right? You shouldn’t be with him.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. I didn’t know if that meant she was weakening, or whether she had just exhausted her argument.

“But what about chemistry?  What about passion? What about... love?” My throat was dry as I said the word out loud. Swallowing hard, I told her the one thing I knew to be true.

“Lauren, we can’t control who we fall in love with.”

Admitting it made it real. And it felt good. I had been hypnotised by that man since I first laid eyes on him, and last night had only confirmed it. Call me a fool, but this was the real thing for me. All those years I had pretended – saying the words back to girls who said them to me first. I told them what they wanted to hear, never once feeling the same way, never knowing if I ever would.  And now I truly felt it, deep in my gut, and he would never know.

Lauren stared at me. Her voice was only a whisper.

“Love? You love him, Edward? Are you joking?”

Straightening up, I looked her in the eye and bared my soul.

“No, I’m not.”

~xxXxx~

 

**CPOV**

I watched Lauren run after Edward, but I was frozen to the spot.

_How could I be so blind?_

The look on his face when he saw her; and yet it never crossed my mind that he was my daughter’s lover.

_No, not lover. She said they hadn’t... That she wasn’t ready._

Thank god for small mercies.

Locking the doors, I walked to the kitchen and fixed myself a stiff drink. I took it upstairs, exhausted by the evening’s events, wanting nothing more now than the welcome oblivion of sleep to make sense of it all. I downed my drink, washed up and headed to bed.

But, as much as I craved it, sleep was denied me as my mind continually ran over the events of the evening like a badly edited TV movie. The Egyptian cotton still held his scent from our night together, and the pillow held traces of his cologne. Without thought, I crushed my face into it and breathed deep, finding comfort and solace in the lingering memory of our union. I had a choice here. The sensible decision was to cut and run, to wash my hands of the whole affair. After all, hadn’t Edward himself come here tonight to end it between us? I was a fool to think that we had a future together, no matter what Alistair or Alice would say on the matter - and no doubt Alice, in particular, would have a great deal to say to me in the morning if she found out.

And somehow she always did. She was the voice of my subconscious:

_Ending it is the logical thing to do._

(But you don’t want to.)

_I have to before I get in too deep and get really hurt._

(It’s too late for that.)

_Lauren will never forgive me._

(She’ll learn to accept it in time.)

_But he was hers._

(And now he’s yours.)

My eyes snapped open. I rolled over, the movement releasing faint echoes of fragrance and musk from the linen.

Eau d’Edward – I wanted to wear it always.

Sitting up, I realised that sleep would never come until this was resolved, one way or another. Picking up the phone I dialled his number for the first time since he had programmed it in.

_At least he won’t recognise the number._

It rang and rang before diverting to automated voicemail. I hung up and paced for a couple of minutes before trying again.

“Hello?” He sounded tired.

“Edward? It’s Carlisle. Don’t hang up on me, please. I need to see you.”

~xxXxx~

I finally got him to tell me his address and, ten minutes later, I was turning off the engine outside his building. My heart was pounding as I sat there looking up at the first floor window.

_Don’t fuck this up, Cullen._

His door was ajar when I climbed the stairs. I knocked, calling out his name as I pushed it open, closing it quietly behind me. He sat on the far end of the couch, not looking up when I called. His eyes were closed and for a moment I wondered if he was sleeping.

“Edward...”

“No.” His tone was flat, and the sight of a tear running down his face stopped me in my tracks. “I don’t want to hear whatever it is you’ve come to say. I tried, okay? I tried to stop all of this, I tried to make it right, but I was too weak to just end it with you. This whole thing is my fault, and I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you.”

_Oh god. He thinks I hate him._

I sat down on the edge of the seat, intent on saying what I had come to say.

“Edward, Lauren is young and, like any other rejected teenage girl, feels her world has ended. But she will get over it. She will learn as she grows older that sometimes it’s necessary to be selfish and grab an opportunity with both hands before the offer is withdrawn, and the chance lost forever. Granted, the circumstances here are somewhat more... unusual... and less than ideal, I agree. But Lauren will fall in love again, probably many more times, before she finds the one who is a good match for her. I, on the other hand, am fortunate in that I have already found mine.”

“Yes, she told me about Marcus, and that you haven’t dated since. Is that true?”

“Yes. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone else for a long time. But I wasn’t referring to Marcus, Edward.”

His eyes finally met mine, and my heart clenched at the pain I saw there. He looked like a lost little boy as he spoke.

“I thought to myself that it would have been for the best if you’d never stopped at the bar that night, if we had never met. But then I imagine what would have happened if I had been introduced to you at a family dinner; if we had felt that same attraction. It seems this outcome couldn’t be avoided, either way.”

I reached for him, taking his hand.

“None of it matters, Edward. Just tell me, right here right now, do you still want me? Because I feel like I can’t breathe when I’m away from you.”

~xxXxx~

 

**EPOV**

His words resonated deep in my chest. The last few hours ceased to exist as I gazed into his eyes, seeing the need reflected there.

 “Let’s take this somewhere more comfortable.”

As the bedroom door closed behind us, I made a show of removing my shirt, watching lust dance across his face. Moving toward him, I whispered in his ear:

“I want to make you scream my name, Carlisle, and I want you to show me how.”

“Yes,” he whispered his voice husky with arousal.

As I leant in to kiss him all coherent thought ceased as white-hot passion ripped through the pair of us. His kiss slayed me every time as he expertly teased and tormented my senses, causing my body to hum with electricity. His hands were on my head, holding me tightly as his tongue violated my mouth thoroughly, simultaneously turning my legs to wet paper as my cock hardened painfully.

I wrenched open his belt and unfastened his fly, desperate to touch him. When the denim slid down he kicked it away, and I was unbelievably turned on by the fact that he wore nothing beneath. My hand encountered only hot, hard flesh beneath his shirt and he moaned into my mouth as I grasped it firmly, sliding my hand up and down experimentally to test his reaction. He broke the kiss, gasping for air as I slowly pleasured his shaft with my hand; his eyes were liquid onyx as I gazed into them, falling to my knees. He watched as my tongue reached out and licked his entire length from root to tip, gasping as I sucked the head before starting again, my tongue trailing and flickering its way back up. This time I covered his tip with the flat of my tongue and laved it before drawing it back into my mouth and sinking down deeply.

“Edward...”

His breathy voice sent tremors through me, his fingers tangled in my hair as I sucked in earnest, taking him as deep as I could. Not wanting him to get too comfortable, I released him from the warm confines of my mouth and continued with my hand making slow strokes while my mouth moved down to his sac. Pressing my nose under those precious globes, I drew one into my mouth and sucked softly, applying just a little downward pressure. Carlisle was more vocal now, his groaning rhythmic and growing ever more urgent. I pulled away, and he swayed at the sudden loss of sensation. I unfastened my pants and lowered them, knowing he was devouring me with his eyes as I revealed myself to him, hard and ready. Suddenly aware, he shrugged off his shirt and finally stood naked before me as he had every night in my dreams. Pushing him backward I edged him to the bed, kissing him hard even as he struggled for breath. Pushing myself up on my arms I looked down into his darkened eyes.

“What do you want, Carlisle?”

“I want you to fuck me, Edward, but I don’t have lube and condoms.” Leaning over him I softly bit his neck, hard enough to make him cry out but not enough to leave a mark. I whispered in his ear,

“But I do.”

I saw his chest flush with longing and I slid off the bed, reaching underneath and producing condoms and lube. He rolled over onto his stomach and turned to watch me, his head on his arm.

Holding the bottle, I asked him the question causing me the most concern.

“What do I need to do to make it good for you?”

“The main thing is to prepare and go slow at first. Remember this morning?”

_This morning was a lifetime ago._

I coated two fingers with lube and hesitated.

“It’s ok,” he urged, “You just need to prepare me first. I can do that part if you’re not comfortable.”

Leaning over him I planted a kiss at the top of his crease before running my fingers down it reverently. He pulled his knees in to raise himself up for me and I saw his puckered entrance for the first time. Touching it was the first step, and I poured a little lube over his hole before pressing into it with my fingertip. It entered easily, and Carlisle sighed at the sensation.

“More...”

I pressed in a second finger to join the first and, on his instructions, opened and closed them until he was happy that he was sufficiently readied. As I slid on the condom, I felt a twinge of fear.

“Tell me if I hurt you...”

“You won’t. Take it slow.”

I pressed into him, unable to quite believe it when the head of my cock first slipped inside. He was tight and the sensation was so incredible that I moaned his name. I felt Carlisle relax around me and I slid in slowly, deeper and deeper, until I was completely enveloped in him. Carlisle was breathing in harsh pants which grew in intensity each time I pulled back a fraction and slid back inside.

“Are you ok? Is this ok for you?” I was rocking gently into him, enjoying the feel and waiting for him to adjust.

“Edward, this is incredible. Don’t be afraid to move, it will feel good. It will feel very good. You’ll see.”

I pulled back further each time before sliding home, and soon we were fucking properly, our flesh slapping against each other’s as our moans rose in volume, our bodies sweating with exertion, our breathing hoarse, intense heat all around us as he urged me on, harder, faster, more... more...

It wasn’t long before he started moaning my name over and over and I knew he was close. I picked up speed, pounding into him and I felt him tense before he cried out my name, shooting thick ropes of come over the bedcovers. His climax triggered my own as he tightened around me, and I screamed his name as I convulsed into a blinding orgasm that left me shaking and spent.

Sliding out of him, I removed the rubber and threw it into the trash. I lay down beside him, his flushed and sleepy face next to mine; his fingers traced my neck and the curve of my shoulder before stroking my lips.

“Amazing.”

I couldn’t hold in the smile that spread across my face.

“You know Lauren said that you’re too old for sex now and just need a companion to see out your days with. I don’t know – I think there’s life in the old dog yet.”

He laughed hard, pulling me in for a long, soft, sated kiss.

~xxXxx~

**CPOV**

Sleep came quickly, and I went willingly into its soft embrace with Edward’s arms wrapped around me. I left him around 7am, and drove home to change for work.

The drive to the hospital was a little worse than usual, the traffic a little heavier, but I arrived on time. Making my way upstairs, Alice filled me in on my schedule whilst trying to elicit juicy details about Edward. I shook my head with a mock frown.

“All in good time, Alice, all in good time. I may introduce you when the time is right.”

She gave an excited squeal, and I shook my head with a grin, my eyes rolling to the skies at her typical response.

I was on rounds later when I received a message about an urgent case coming in from the ER. I checked the board and saw that my colleague, Doug Anders, was taking it. That gave me time to catch up on yesterday’s paperwork, but what a way to ruin a beautiful day – updating files.

As I walked back to my office I passed the scheduling board and saw that it was a quiet day for surgery. Just one new name had gone up and that was an elective procedure. I heard the lift doors open and the voices of the ER team as Anders’ patient arrived. There was a tall, dark haired guy with them who was obviously with the patient. He was told that he would have to wait, that he couldn’t go into the ER and his anxiety levels rocketed as he looked from side to side for somewhere to wait. I walked over to him and led him to the seating area.

“Are you friend or family?”

“Friend – known each other since we were kids.” His hands were shaking. “Is he going to be alright?”

“I’ll find out what I can. Are his next of kin on the way?”

“He only has his mom, and she’s back home in Chicago. We moved to Seattle for college and just stayed on here after.”

“Ok. What’s your name? I’ll send over a nurse to talk to you once we know more.”

“Emmett. Emmett McCarty.”

“And your friend’s name?”

“Edward Masen. He’s my bar manager. I’m listed as his emergency contact.”

And just like that, I couldn’t breathe.

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my ever loyal pre readers who keep me on the right track.
> 
> I own nothing except Carlisle’s walk-in shower. I wanted to say I owned McCarty’s Bar but Emmett threatened to ban me from the premises.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	4. Chapter 4

**CPOV**

My mind refused to accept that it was Edward, _my Edward,_ being wheeled to the OR. With a muttered apology to Emmett, I stood shakily to make my way toward the admit desk, but was intercepted by Alice.

“Carlisle? What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to pass out. Come with me.” She led me to my office and I followed numbly, sitting down at the desk as she closed the door. I looked up at her, her face scrunched up in concern.

“The patient that Dr Anders is taking to the OR: his name is Edward Masen. Do you have any information on his condition?”

She shook her head. “He was just transferred up as an emergency patient. Wait – Edward? Not _your_...” She fell silent, a determined look on her face. “I can find out. Stay here - I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I was a professional. I knew how to calm and reassure frightened relatives and manage their expectations about a loved one’s condition. And here I was now - a broken puppet, my strings cut; no use to God nor man. I stared at my trembling hands, willing my breathing to steady and my body to calm. My eyes were squeezed shut, but all I could see was Edward.

_What happened? When I left this morning everything was perfect in our rose-tinted bubble._

I had woken early as was my routine for so many years. Our legs had been comfortably tangled, his body curled into my side with an arm draped over my hip as he slept soundly. I had laid there for a few minutes, listening to the sound of his slow, even breaths and just drinking him in. His unruly, bronze hair was even more dishevelled, his lips swollen and inviting, and there were dark circles under his closed eyes. I suspected worry and lack of sleep were taking their toll on him and I was loath to wake him from such a deep, restful slumber. But, knowing I couldn’t leave without doing so, I rolled over and nuzzled into his neck, dropping soft kisses on his exposed skin before breathing his name into his ear.

“Wake up, Edward...”

He stirred, turning his head subtly and affording me greater access to his throat. Smiling, I lightly rubbed my nose down the length of his neck, leaving kisses under his unshaven jaw line. I heard his almost silent moan as his sleeping body started to come alive under my touch. My fingers fluttered down his spine and caressed the curve of his ass, ghosting into his crease and causing a flurry of goose bumps to flare across his body.

I whispered into his ear once again.

“Edward, are you awake?” I punctuated the question by lightly licking the inner surface of his ear, breathing warm air over the damp skin. His legs stiffened momentarily at the sensation, a low moan escaping him, but still he slept.

I smiled and disappeared under the covers, sliding down to where his morning glory was waiting, heavy and leaking clear fluid ripe for the tasting.

_Looks like I get breakfast in bed today._

Wasting no more time, I let his swollen head slide between my lips, my tongue sweeping up the plentiful pre come before sinking down and sucking him in earnest - loudly, sloppily and with absolute relish. I felt the moment Edward woke, his body suddenly tensing, a gasp escaping him before I heard my name in his moan of pleasure. His hand reached under the covers and settled on my neck as I worked his cock hungrily, taking him to the back of my throat and eliciting throaty groans. I licked him clean repeatedly, before plunging back down, alternating the feel of tight suction with the soft, wet sweep of my tongue. His feet began to paddle the sheet, his hand sliding up into my hair as he began to babble nonsense; random cuss words of pleasure and gratitude combined with my name escaped his lips over and over as I pushed him closer to the edge. I felt his grip tighten as I sucked him deep, my hands caressing his ass, one fingertip glancing over his opening. I heard his harsh panting quicken before suddenly pausing as he erupted, pumping powerful streams into my waiting mouth. His intake of breath was ragged as a strangled cry of release escaped his throat. When his spasms ceased I let him slide from my lips, making my way back up to the pillows to be met by those beautiful, lustful eyes.

“Good morning,” I said, as he pulled me in for a desperate kiss, his hands starting a dance of their own.

~xxXxx~

I waited an eternity for Alice to return with news, each second lasting an hour. When she reappeared her face was tight, and I felt a frisson of purest terror. When she spoke, her voice held a tremor.

“They’re operating to remove a small blood clot in his brain. He was in an RTC; the police said his car is totalled and Edward is lucky to be alive. The other driver has no injuries - he’s in custody right now. He was wasted on crystal meth.”

_Keep it together. Don’t lose it._

“Keep me informed, Alice? He’s not my patient, and so I can’t be involved...” I breathed in sharply as my voice threatened to wobble uncontrollably. My hands balled into fists, my nails digging painfully into my palms as I pressed a fist to my mouth. I felt violently sick.

“Just so you know, I’m arranging a private room for him. I’m going to say he is family. That way you can be in with him and no one except the immediate nursing staff will be aware. Leave it to me; I’ll sort it out.”

“His friend - he needs to know what’s going on. He’s out in the waiting area. Has anyone spoken to him yet?” I choked the words out as I tried to hold myself together.

“Until the neurosurgeons are through we won’t be able to tell him very much, you know that. Dr Anders will speak to him afterward. I’ll go tell him to be patient – we don’t know how long the surgery will take.”

“Thank you, Alice. I don’t have any surgeries scheduled for today – I need to keep it that way. I’ll speak to the Chief and arrange for some emergency leave. I can’t work right now; my hands are shaking too much to even hold a pen.” I laughed, humourlessly.

She put her small hand on top of mine, squeezing gently. “That guy in theatre needs you to be strong for him. We’ll be ready when he comes out, and you can be sure that Rose and I will take good care of him for you. When he wakes and asks for you, we’ll come find you.” She squeezed my hand tightly. “I promise.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

~xxXxx~

Time ticked away as I waited for news. Alice kept me updated periodically until she reappeared, looking somewhat relieved.

“He’s out of surgery. The op went well and they got all of the clot. He’s going to be fine, Carlisle. When he’s out of recovery, I’ll take you to him. Not long now; he’s going to want you there when he wakes up.”

I let out the breath I hadn’t been aware I was holding.

“Thank you, Alice. This wasn’t how I wanted you two to meet, you know.” My feeble attempt at humour made her smile.”I’m going to talk to his friend now, unless he has already been informed?”

“No. Carlisle, are you sure you’re up to that?”

“It’ll help me focus. I don’t think Edward has told him about us yet. He hasn’t really had the time, so he won’t recognise me. I’ll go speak to him.”

Gathering myself, I walked out to the waiting area and found the man still sitting there, a small island of empty Styrofoam at his feet. He looked tired and worried, a look I recognised all too well. Jumping up when he saw me approach, I noticed the potent mix of hope and fear in his eyes.

“Doc? Is he ok?”

I smiled reassuringly. “I have just been told that he’s out of surgery and that it went well. When he’s settled, you can see him if you wish.”

“Is he awake?”

“He’s sedated. When he wakes we will know if there is any lasting, residual... damage.” I swallowed. Saying the words made the possibility all too real.

“Damage? Are you saying he could be permanently brain damaged, or something? Oh fuck - the cops better have that dude already, or I will not be responsible for my actions if I get my hands on him.” I watched as his jaw tightened and he started to pace.

I held out my hand.

“Try not to worry unduly. We’ll know more when he wakes. For now, you can relax; he has come through it well.”

Emmett slumped back into the orange plastic chair, his hand rubbing his head, before resting back against the wall.

“He’s my best friend, you know? I sort of need him around. Selfish, I know.”

_He loves him. Thank goodness Edward has someone in his life that cares about him._

The thought was comforting. As I turned to leave, I heard a yell.

“Emmett!” My daughter came hurtling down the corridor to be caught in his arms. “Riley told me where you were. What happened?” Her nose was red, her voice thick and uneven. “Where is he? Can I see him?”

Emmett gestured to me. “The doctors are just waiting for him to wake up now, and then we’ll know more.” Lauren looked at me and scowled.

_Oh, this is going to be awkward._

“I don’t want to talk to him.”

Emmett looked confused as well he might. I sighed.

“Lauren...”

“No, _dad!_ I’m not discussing this with you anymore. Is it your fault he’s here?”

Emmett looked baffled at this exchange.

“Lauren!” She looked askance at my tone, one I rarely used with her, as I realised she could make this situation much more difficult for all concerned. Ignoring me, she marched off to the drinks machine.

Before the situation could escalate, Alice appeared and fetched me away, telling me to wait. As I stood a way down the hall, I heard Anders talking to the nursing team. He sounded confident of a good result and expected Edward to wake in the next few two to three hours, although it was very likely that he just regain consciousness and sleep again. I waited nearby; when he left the room he greeted me and walked away. Alice and Rosalie looked up and beckoned me in. They were busy straightening the bed as I finally got to see him.

Edward lay, pale and strikingly beautiful, against the stark white hospital sheets, and I ached to smooth his hair and kiss his forehead. The ladies withdrew tactfully, each touching my shoulder supportively as they left, quietly closing the door.

 I stood over the bed, taking his hand in mine and gazing for a moment at his sleeping face, seeing the area above his left ear shaved and dressed. I touched his hair, trying to smooth it but settling instead for running my fingers through its softness. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent now and I kissed him tenderly above each eyebrow as it I could magically make them disappear. The corners of his mouth were cracked from the breathing tube, and a massive bruise darkened his left temple. He looked like a beaten angel, and a tear slid down my cheek, even as I tried to be strong for him.

As I caressed his long fingers with my own, I whispered in his ear, words for him and him alone:

“From now on, no more sleeping alone like this; you belong with me. I need you, Edward. Come back to me.”

Holding his hand to my lips, more tears escaped as I gazed at him, my shoulders shaking silently as I willed him to wake.

~xxXxx~

 

**EPOV**

I was underwater. The sounds around me were muffled and slurred as I tried to make sense of them. I realised I was breathing easily.

_Not underwater then. But... where?_

Opening my eyes I winced, the lights too bright and sending hot needles through my retinas. The words I was hearing were becoming clearer and I concentrated, taking a moment before chancing opening my eyes again. As I squinted against the pain, I realised that a nurse was standing over me. She was small, like a little doll, and smiling widely when she saw I was awake.

“Welcome back, sweetie! I’m going to fetch the doctor. You hang tight there.” She vanished from sight, and I took a moment to acclimatise.

_Why am I in hospital?_ I wiggled my toes and flexed my fingers. _All present and correct._

I saw the pretty nurse return with an older man in a doctor’s coat. His badge said Dr Anders.

“Mr Masen! How are you feeling?”

“Okay, I think. Why am I here? I don’t understand.”

“What is the last thing you remember, Mr Masen? The absolute last thing you did.”

“I remember being at work early... checking all the clean glasses were out of the dishwasher and stacked under the bar. I was on my own; Riley isn’t due in until eleven, and Emm doesn’t work Monday through Thursday so it was just me.”

“What day was this?”

I was lost. What was he getting at?

“This morning, like I said.”

“What day? Humour me, Mr Masen.”

“Monday, it’s Monday. It follows Sunday.”

“Mr Masen, it’s now Friday afternoon. You were involved in a serious car accident this morning and we had to operate to remove a small blood clot under your skull. The operation went well. What you are experiencing sounds like retrograde amnesia which isn’t all that uncommon with this type of injury. You’ve lost a little time prior to the accident. Hopefully, it will come back to you in a few days. Be patient.”

“Hopefully? You mean I might not remember at all?” I tried to sit up and hissed as a bolt of pain went through my head.

“No sudden movements, Mr Masen; you have just had brain surgery. Now - Nurse Brandon will look after you. You have a call button to your right if you need anything. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

I looked at the pretty nurse.

“Uh, could I get some water? My throat is really sore.”

She smiled and nodded.

“Sure, sweetie. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

When she went to leave I saw her stop outside the door to talk to another white coat. I couldn’t help feeling a sense of familiarity but I couldn’t get a good look at him. However, as he turned to walk away I saw his face, and our eyes locked. My breathing caught.

_He’s the gorgeous guy from the bar._

_He’s a doctor!_

_Why isn’t he_ my _doctor?_

_I’d love to be looked after by that man._

I must be feeling better if I could still fantasise. He smiled, and I felt my stomach twist into nervous knots. Then his smile faded and his eyes closed as the nurse continued to talk, his face dropping at their conversation. He looked... sad. The nurse touched his arm and he walked away, rubbing his forehead.

_Don’t go!_

The nurse reappeared with my water jug, and helped me sit up enough to sip a little. My throat was so dry it tasted almost as good as an ice cold beer. Looking up at her, I asked the name of the other doctor, the blond guy she had been talking to.

“That’s Doctor Cullen, Doctor Carlisle Cullen.” She watched me closely as if waiting for something. “Why do you ask?”

“I sort of know him, I think. Not his name, and we’ve not spoken as such, but I recognise him.”

Her brow furrowed for the briefest moment, but by the time she met my eyes again her face was relaxed and open once more.

“You have some worried people in the waiting room. Would you like to see them?”

“Please, can you ask them to come in?”

“Sure. One at a time, though.”

It was mere seconds later when Lauren burst in like a blond cyclone, running over to the bed.

“Easy! Easy! You’re not supposed to run in here!” I held out my hand, smiling at her worried face.

When I managed to convince her I was ok and that I was going to live, I explained to her what the doctor said about the accident and my subsequent memory loss. I was bewildered when she started sobbing as if the world had ended.

“Hey! I’m okay! It’s just a little amnesia – docs think I might get it back, but if not then I’ll have to just live with it. Or without it, I should say.” I grinned at her. “At least I’m alive! How much can have happened since Monday, really?”

“Are you saying you don’t remember Wednesday night? You must remember, Edward. _Try_ \- for me.”

She was starting to worry me. She looked at me so intently, her eyes puffy and red, willing me to recall the events she was alluding to. I had nothing.

“I met you at the bar after your shift ended. Mom thought I was staying with Jessica; she even cleared it with her mom.” Her giggle was more of a snuffle. “She didn’t know it was Jess on the phone the whole time. I stayed at your place, Edward. _All night_. It was so special.” Her voice had lowered to a whisper.

I felt awful. She was so upset and I couldn’t comfort her. While it was no surprise that we had finally slept together, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that the whole relationship was a mistake.

_Why do I regret something I don’t even remember? It makes no sense._

“Lauren, I’m so sorry that I don’t remember.” Her crying intensified; noisy sobs that had me at a loss to know what to do. The blond doctor, _Dr Cullen_ , I reminded myself, appeared in the doorway suddenly, apparently alerted by Lauren’s desperate weeping.

“I think Mr Masen needs his rest. Come along, Lauren.” He walked over to her and took her arm. She spun in her seat.

“No, I want to stay, dad.”

I inhaled sharply, shock radiating through me at this new information. I couldn’t meet his eye.

_He’s her father?_

_Did he hear?_

_Does he know that I slept with his daughter?_

When I looked up, Lauren looked strangely triumphant.

Dr Cullen dragged his eyes up to mine. For a moment I was overcome by the naked emotion I saw there - the pain in his eyes took my breath away.

Lauren was refusing to leave, saying she wanted to stay with me. I heard her vaguely in the background as I gazed into his soulful, hazel eyes. When he looked away I felt loss; with the connection broken, reality burst back in at full volume. He informed Lauren forcefully that he was taking her home. As she was marched away, I heard her raised, jubilant voice. What she said made no sense, something about this being right and how it should be; a second chance.

_A second chance at what?_

As I lay there, puzzled and confused, I heard a soft knock on the door and, to my relief, saw it was Emmett. He looked exhausted. I grinned at him and he came in, turning the chair around to straddle it.

“Edward, you have no idea how worried I’ve been, dude. I have drunk a ton of that shitty coffee out there and I am wired. How are you feeling? They told me about your memory. That really blows.”

“Yeah, I know. I feel okay. Everything moves that’s meant to. I haven’t tried walking yet - that’s next when the nurse comes back. What can you tell me of the accident? Have the police said anything?”

“Well, your car is totalled; it folded like a pack of cards. The guy that hit you was wasted on drugs and the police have him. He probably doesn’t remember anything either, but for a different reason. He has no injuries at all. I want to kill him with my bare hands.”

“Emm! It’s okay! I’m alive, and if the only thing to come out of this is a few days lost memory then that’s something I can live with. I guess this means I have to go car shopping when I get out of here. Do you know anyone who has a cheap car that’s decent?”

“I’ll ask around. And I can help you with money, you know that. We’ll get you something good. Any idea when you’re getting out of here?”

“No, not yet; a few days I reckon. Anyway, it gives you an excuse to come visit me and check out the pretty nurses. Not that you have a shot of course, but you can dream.”

“Hey! I’m a catch, I’ll have you know! I own my own business and drive a nice car. And I’m not too tight to spring for flowers either.” He bumped my shoulder playfully. “Anyway, I haven’t been single _that_ long.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Emm! The truth is, you haven’t dated anyone since Kate, and that was months ago. It’s not healthy, man. You’re married to the damn bar.”

“I haven’t met the right girl yet, that’s all.” He smiled, embarrassed. Anyone who met Emmett would judge him on initial appearances and see a big guy with a loud voice and an even louder laugh. But they wouldn’t see the shy guy underneath who wanted nothing more than to shower a lady with flowers and affection. He was a true catch if only a woman would just give him the chance. He was that rare breed, a real old fashioned gentleman that respected women; unlike me, apparently, who was only after one thing.

“I slept with Lauren.”

“You did? You never said. When was this?”

“Wednesday night, she said.”

“Weird. Thought you would have told me. But that’s your call.”

“I made a mistake, Emm. She’s so clingy, and I just don’t know why we’re together anymore. And I’ve made things a whole lot worse now because if I end it, she’ll think I was just waiting to jump her - which isn’t true.”

“So what are you going to do?”

I had no answer to that.

~xxXxx~

 

**CPOV**

I all but frogmarched Lauren to the car. She was unrepentant about her lies to Edward, and we drove in silence to her mother’s house.

Hearing her lie to Edward had nearly broken me. It had taken everything I had not to contradict her. He had believed her completely; and until she decided to tell him the truth, or until such times as he recovered his memory, I couldn’t intervene. I was a stranger to him now; I couldn’t just tell him straight out that we were involved. He had to remember it ... or rediscover us in his own way.

I had to be patient.

_If this some kind of test, I pray that I pass._

Dropping off a sullen Lauren outside her home, I made sure she was aware that we would be talking about this very soon. I also planned on coming clean to Esme, so that she was fully aware of this turn of events. No more hiding the truth – she had the right to know that our daughter’s boyfriend was now with me. It would also explain the attitude she was doubtless getting from our darling daughter – she was never one to confide in her mother, and would always come and find me.

 I returned to the hospital, unable to be away from him, even now. Seeking out Alice and Rosalie, I outlined the situation to them, explaining what Edward now believed to be the truth. They knew to be careful with what was said around both Edward and Emmett until this situation was resolved. Lauren was playing a dangerous game with Edward’s memory by trying to rewrite history in her favour.

As Rosalie turned to go back to work, she crashed head first into Edward’s friend, now on his way home and looking far more relaxed than the last time I had spoken to him. She was mortified, apologising profusely as she made sure he was alright.  I had to admit that, watching them and seeing their eyes lock for the first time with a mutual blush, I envied them.

Shortly afterward, Rosalie came to tell me that Edward was asleep and that I should probably get some rest too. The stress and worry had taken a toll on me today, and so for once I took her advice, stretching out on the little-used sofa in my office.

I woke suddenly, a voice speaking to me softly. Forcing open my eyes, I looked up to see Alice.

“What is it?”

 “Carlisle – Edward’s awake and asking for you.”

I shook myself awake, tidied myself up and made my way to his room. I opened the door quietly, closing it behind me.

“Mr Masen? You asked to see me?”

He struggled to sit up a little against his pillows and I resisted the urge to help him, not trusting my actions.

“Doctor Cullen, I have some questions and I needed to speak to you, in private.”

“I’m not your doctor, so this is not entirely appropriate. I can fetch Dr Anders if he’s still here?”

“No, no, it’s you I need to talk to.”

“Very well. You have my full attention. What can I do for you?”

“I recognise you, from my work. I don’t know if you remember me at all – I work the bar at McCarty’s. When I saw you today, I got the feeling that something was different. I don’t remember ever talking to you at the bar, other than fixing your drink, but there’s something so familiar about you. Has Lauren introduced us?”

“No, Lauren has never brought you to my house.”

He looked perplexed.

“Oh. Then, are we friends at all?”

I tried to breathe normally, not wanting to say anything out of line to provoke an adverse reaction as he struggled with his memory.

“In a way, yes.”

His look was probing, and I felt naked in that moment. And then the hammer fell.

 “If I’m wrong then I am so sorry, but the way you looked at me before - I have to know. Are we...   _more..._ than friends?”

As our eyes locked I struggled to hold in my feelings, to be totally professional, but I feared that every cell of my body was singing his name like a siren song. There was a definite shift in the air around us before I forced myself to look away. “You should get some rest.”

He said nothing for a moment but looked at me intently; that look was the same one he gave me in the bar those nights when he thought I couldn’t see. It was pure, naked hunger.  

 “I need to know.” His voice was desperate, pleading.

My eyes met his, my voice a hoarse whisper.

“Yes, Edward, we are.”

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my ever loyal pre readers who keep me on the right track.
> 
> I own nothing, not even a shot glass in McCarty’s bar. Emmett gave me an official warning.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	5. Chapter 5

**EPOV**

I felt the air leave the room as Carlisle spoke. Breathing in sharply, I watched as he slumped down into the hard, plastic chair, just out of reach of the bed. He looked at me with a mixture of trepidation and fear, his eyes haunted.

“Edward, I’m sorry. I never wanted you to find out like this. I hoped that in your own time you would remember us, and...” He tailed off, and I noticed that his fingers were locked together as if in prayer; I wondered if he was unconsciously stopping himself from reaching out to me.

“Perhaps it’s better that you told me now. What would have happened if I never remembered? Would you have let this end ‘us’, just let it all fade away like smoke in the wind? Or would you have fought for us?”

His fingers tightened still more, the nails whitening.

“Edward, you _will_ remember us. And when you do I will be right here, ready and waiting. And if you change your mind...” His voice caught.

“You’ll still be waiting,” I stated.

He looked embarrassed, his feelings written clearly across his face at that moment. When he spoke I sensed he was choosing his words carefully. “I can’t give up on us, Edward. But if you decide that this can’t continue, then I will accept your decision. Lord only knows, Lauren is going to fight for you.”

My face fell, guilt hitting me in a tidal wave. I swallowed hard, trying to find the words.

“I didn’t mean to sleep with her, I swear. Everything she and I had just seems so frivolous now, and I hate that I’ve done this to you - to _us,_ even though I don’t yet remember us.”

“Edward, she said you and she were together Wednesday night, correct? I can tell you now that you weren’t – for _definite_.”

“I didn’t sleep with her? Are you sure?” I sank back into my pillows gratefully.

“Absolutely; she told me herself just yesterday that you two were taking it slow.”

“So she lied. To my face.”  _I really don’t know that girl at all, or what she is capable of._

“Rest assured I will be speaking to her mother about all this. Esme needs to know what has happened and, doubtless, it will come as something of a shock, but Lauren’s behaviour cannot go unpunished. It’s inexcusable – we raised her better than that.”

“So what happens now? I don’t deny that I feel a connection to you, but to me we’re almost strangers - you have the distinct advantage here. I don’t know what to say to you, or how to talk to you. At the bar I knew nothing about you, not even your name. I’m discovering all this now and it’s a little overwhelming.”

“I’m sorry, Edward. I should let you rest.” He made to leave. I reached out, even though his back was to me.

“Don’t go,” I begged. He looked at me searchingly. “I just found you. Stay – talk to me some more. I’m not... I’m not ready for you to go.”

Pulling the chair closer to my bedside, he immediately sat down again. Pausing for a beat, he met my gaze once again, the tip of his tongue touching his upper lip briefly.

“So - tell me about your friend Emmett. If I’m not mistaken, he is quite taken with one of our nurses. I caught them outside having a ‘moment’; judging by their blushes I’d say it looks very promising. So is he good enough for Rosalie? I’m very protective of my friends.” He grinned. “Will he be good to her or will she be just another notch on his bedpost?” 

I laughed, and it felt so good.

“Emmett is a big guy with an even bigger personality, but underneath it all he’s very lonely. He spends far too much time locked away on his own. He had his heart broken several months back and has withdrawn into himself. He denies it of course. But any girl would be lucky to have Emm; he’s a prince to them.” I looked at him askance.”Don’t ever tell him I told you that or I’ll be back here for a plaster cast.”

“So – I can tell her that he’s a complete pushover, can I?” he asked, a grin spreading teasingly across his face.

“Don’t you dare! I don’t deny that, if he loves the girl, she can pretty much get him to do anything she wants. But you never heard me say that; I’m sure Rosalie will soon work it out for herself if they get together. And take full advantage, no doubt.”

Carlisle chuckled. “Quite possibly. She’s been single for a while too. Her last boyfriend was ... a problem, shall we say. But she’s a lovely girl – Emmett has struck lucky there.”

“I can’t believe it. I was only just winding him up about that earlier on. I said he had no chance with any of the pretty nurses here. Damn! I hate being wrong!” I clicked my fingers in mock agitation, secretly happy that Emm might have found someone. We fell into silence for a moment. I took a breath and decided to be brave.

“So, tell me, Carlisle,” I watched his face light up when I said his name. “What do you do when you’re not working?” 

He inhaled slowly. “I work a lot. Too much, my friends will tell you. Ah.... I enjoy jogging, driving, classical music, reading and sailing, when I have the time. I have a cruiser moored at the marina; it’s a great way to unwind.”

My eyebrows rose at the casual way he mentioned his boat.

“Wow. I’ve never even been on a boat much less met anyone who had one.” I raised an eyebrow. “Do you lease it?”

“No, she’s mine, my one extravagance. The car comes with the job, so I don’t have to pay for that. I bought ‘New Beginnings’ cheaply and had her refitted. She’s not huge by any standards, just a nice size for weekend getaways.”

My mind conjured up images of Carlisle dressed casually as he steered the boat; the breeze ruffling his blond hair, a pair of aviator sunglasses covering his eyes as he turned to me smiling. I felt my stomach clench in longing.

“Maybe you could show me some day,” I asked hopefully. He blushed.

“I’d love to. I’ve never taken anyone out on her. She was my private escape after...” he paused.

“What?” I asked softly.

“After losing my partner. I needed time on my own and something to focus on; fixing up the boat, and getting her seaworthy, helped soothe my mind. I was too exhausted to dwell on things I couldn’t change. It didn’t cure the loneliness though, only helped acclimatise me to it.”

My hand started to reach for his across the bed before pulling back, my confidence failing.

“Tell me about how we got together? Please?” To my ears my voice sounded dry and rough.

He looked at me and shook his head. “When you start to remember you need to know that those memories are genuine, and that you can trust them. So, if you agree, I suggest we start with a clean slate and see where it takes us.” He looked so nervous that I ached to reassure him.

I smiled, teasingly.

“Dr Cullen – are you asking me out on a date?”

His eyes flashed and a grin spread across his face, his thumb stroking his lip. My stomach fluttered at the familiar gesture, my body reacting to him as it always had in the bar.

“I guess I am, Mr Masen. Would that be acceptable?”

I nodded mutely. I could almost feel my pupils dilate as our eyes met and locked. My breathing was shallow and I fought the urge to reach for his hand and run that thumb over my own lip.

_How can I feel so close to someone I hardly know? This is crazy, but for some reason I trust it completely._

Clearing my throat, I tried to speak normally. “So when am I going to be fit enough for this date? How long do I have to be in here?”

“At least another couple of days, just for observation. Have you been on your feet at all yet?”

“Yeah - the nurse helped me to the bathroom earlier on. I was a little dizzy at first, but it was ok. I just want to go home now. The sooner I get back to work the better – I feel useless lying here.”

“Forgive me, Edward, but we would prefer to make sure you are well before we discharge you. I for one don’t want you to end up back here during our date.”

The man made a good point. I wanted to enjoy every moment I spent in his company, no matter what we did; which reminded me...

“So, what are we going to do on our date? Do you have any plans up your sleeve?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edge of the bed, his nose and chin partially covered by the backs of his fingers. The look he gave me under his lashes was enough to make me shake. My mouth dropped open as I inhaled sharply. I wondered if he was even remotely aware of the devastating effect he had on me.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something that won’t tire you too much. I can’t have you overexerting yourself just yet. I have a couple of ideas for something fun we can do together that would also give us a chance to get to know each other a little more.”

_‘Together’. Oh I liked that word._

I wondered how well we had gotten to know each other before all this. Had we dated, maybe made out in the car afterward? The thought made the knots in my stomach twist painfully. I wanted to touch him, to do things to him that I had never considered before with a man. He sat in the same stance, still watching me with those dark eyes, and I wondered if my face gave away my thoughts. I wouldn’t have been surprised; I felt as if the words ‘I want you’ were inscribed on every inch of my exposed skin like a beacon. I couldn’t help but wonder how that same heated skin would react when it finally came into contact with his.

I couldn’t wait to find out.

~xxXxx~

 

**CPOV**

I left Edward to rest, and to prevent me from exhausting my self-control. Every time I was in his presence I wanted to touch him so badly; I was holding on by a thread, and the looks he was throwing my way were fraying that thread dangerously.

Content that Edward was in safe hands, I went home to shower and sleep. When I woke late Saturday morning it was time to make Esme aware of our daughter’s behaviour, and my own.

I knocked at Esme’s green front door, and waited for an answer. Hearing her cheery response I smiled to myself. Esme didn’t change. In fact, I was willing to bet that right now she was up to her elbows in some culinary confection; she always loved to cook. The door opened to reveal a floury Esme, wiping her hands on a cloth. I grinned and reached up to wipe a dash of flour from her cheek before kissing her hello.

“Carlisle! What a lovely surprise! You didn’t have plans with Lauren today, did you? I sent her to the store for more milk, but she’ll be back shortly. That is, if she hasn’t met up with friends along the way.”

“No, no. I came to see you actually. We need to have a talk about Lauren. I don’t know how much she’s told you, but we have a situation.”  Esme looked immediately worried and moved toward the kitchen.

“Let me just cover this dough and then we can talk.” The room was warm, and smelled deliciously of fresh bread; I was suddenly conscious of the fact that I hadn’t eaten for almost 24 hours. She finished wiping off her hands and headed for the lounge room. Folding herself neatly into an old armchair, she looked at me expectantly. “So, talk to me.”

Sitting down on the couch I breathed deep, wondering how to start. “Lauren and I – we’ve hit a wall, and I’m guessing she hasn’t told you about it as you aren’t shouting at me. It’s regarding her relationship with Edward.”

I saw her eyes roll slightly.

“I think they’re fighting. She’s been crying a lot the last couple of days and last night she took off for a couple of hours after telling me he had been in an accident. I can’t get anything else out of her at the moment, other than he’s fine. There’s nothing wrong is there? I’m certainly not his biggest fan, but I wouldn’t wish him harm.”

I knew Esme wasn’t fond of Edward. She thought he was teaching our daughter bad ways. Unfortunately, this opinion was based solely on his age and his profession, no actual proof whatsoever; Esme, being a worried mother, took what she considered to be the necessary precautions. Her opinion could not be changed easily, and this could prove problematic with the current turn of events.

“Edward has ended their relationship, and Lauren isn’t dealing with it too well. But, before I go on, there’s something else you need to know. Edward has been in a car accident. He will be okay, but he has some amnesia. This is part of the reason I wanted to talk to you. This is going to be awkward to explain.” I rubbed my forehead worriedly, my eyes closed as I chased the words around my brain.

“Carlisle?” I heard the sudden concern in her voice. She knew my signals all too well.

Keeping my eyes fixed on my hands, I went on. “Edward has broken it off with Lauren because he met someone else.” Glancing up I saw Esme’s lips thin.

“He was two timing her?” I could see the anger in the set of her jaw.

“No. No. He met someone else and knew then he had to end it. She didn’t take it well, and it’s worse now that...” I struggled to carry on.

“What? Carlisle, what aren’t you telling me?” Her voice took on a sharper edge.

“Esme, Edward... and I are together now. We met some time ago at the bar where he works and danced around each other for weeks before I finally found the nerve to make a move. At the time, neither of us knew that we had Lauren in common. After all, we had never met. It was unplanned and unforgiveable I know, but...” I tried to calm my panicky breathing before continuing, “The problem has worsened significantly since Lauren’s visit yesterday. Edward has lost about five days’ worth of memory; his doctor is hopeful that it will return but Lauren has complicated matters by lying to him. He now believes that they have had intimate relations. He is very confused and guilty as he feels inexplicably drawn to me at the same time, but has no memory of us as a couple. She has done this out of jealousy and spite, thinking she will win him back and that he will realise that he loves her.”

I realised Esme was silent and, looking up, I saw the sadness in her eyes. She had never judged me, only ever offered support, and I prayed for her understanding now as she processed this sudden turn of events. 

“Are you sure about this relationship? Is he worth this upset and animosity with Lauren?” Her voice was calm, controlled and gently reproachful. “I trust your judgement as always, but it may be in everyone’s best interests to not let this continue. If it’s still so new, even without this latest development, could you see yourself still with him in five years’ time? The age difference is significant.”

“The same as Marcus and I.” I saw her face register shock at this. “Esme, this wasn’t planned, none of it. Even with his amnesia, the chemistry between us is strong. He is drawn to me and I to him. I am praying he regains those lost days so that we can move forward. At the moment I am scared to assume anything - I haven’t touched him since he woke and it has been unbelievably difficult to keep my distance. Being with him feels so natural; we’ve talked and he feels the connection too. He asked me to stay with him so that we could talk some more. Despite his confusion he still wants to be around me, but feels guilty because of Lauren. I haven’t told him that, on the night she said they were together, Edward was actually with _me_ for the whole night.”

“Carlisle, sweetheart, have you thought about what are you going to do if Edward never remembers?”

“I can’t allow myself to think about that. I’m afraid I may fall apart,” my laugh came out as a sob. “We-we’re going on a date when he is well enough to leave hospital. Our first date.” I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face, my tell tale blush rising up my throat.

Esme sighed heavily.

“It’s too late, isn’t it? I can see it in your face. You’re in love with him.”

I couldn’t lie to her, I never could. I fought back the tears that threatened to overcome me.

“It’s only been a few days, I –“

“It’s been long enough, I can see that. Does he... did he, before the accident I mean, did he feel the same?”

“The things he said to me when we were alone led me to think he does.”

“If that’s the case then I’m afraid that Lauren will have to accept it. It’s time for our daughter to think of someone else for a change, and be the bigger person. She has already lost him – this is surely only delaying the inevitable.”

“Her actions are dangerous – Edward may never recover his full memory and will always wonder if what she said was true. It will eat away at him; it won’t matter if I tell him it’s a lie, there’ll always be a tiny element of doubt in his mind. The only way to prevent that is if Lauren admits to him that she lied, and does so of her own free will. A fake apology would be worthless as he would see straight through it. Edward has asked for details about how well he and I know each other. I’ve refused to tell him, hoping his true memory will surface in time. Hence the date – we, ah, haven’t actually been out of the house together yet. Unless you count me driving him to work the morning after.”

Esme’s face flushed delicately. “I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. It will give the two of you time to bond again and find out if the relationship can survive outside the bedroom.” She eyed me seriously before winking, diffusing the tension in the room.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think it has legs.”

The timer pinged, effectively ending the discussion.

“Time for the bread to go in the oven. Stay and have lunch with me? We can talk to Lauren together when she gets back.”

I acquiesced. Moving to the kitchen we worked together, preparing a light lunch and sitting down together to eat, chatting like the old friends we were. I found myself laughing for the first time in days; Esme knew how to relax me and draw my problems out into the light, helping me to face them without fear. I told her what I had planned for Edward’s and my first date, and she giggled.

“It sounds perfect! Plus, there will be plenty of opportunities to get close in the dark!” She smiled at me and I knew then that she was on my side – no matter what.

The time passed comfortably, the pair of us making short work of the clean up from both the meal and the baking. It comforted me, this glimpse of familiarity and domesticity; part of me missed this. Since Marcus, I rarely made the effort unless I had guests over, and even then it was usually the girls and Alistair from work. The girls liked to be involved in the preparation process, and I always found myself pushed to the sidelines as they invariably took over and cooked up a storm. Alistair was the conductor of the kitchen symphony, overseeing the whole process and critiquing their skills, until he would finally overstep the mark and be removed from the room by an enraged Rosalie. Despite the fiery cooking process, a good time was assured with great food and company. But, mostly I ate alone, standing at the counter deep in thought.

Esme and I were drinking coffee when Lauren appeared, carrying bags from the supermarket, and a couple from a local boutique. She looked at the two of us and left the bags in the hallway, turning for the stairs. Esme cleared her throat.

“Sweetheart, take the milk into the kitchen and then come in here and sit down.”

I heard the click of the refrigerator door, and then the scuff of her feet on the carpet as she slowly made her way into the room, eyeing us warily.

“Come and sit down. Your father and I have been talking, and he has told me everything that has been going on between the two of you. I don’t tolerate lying, Lauren, you know that. We raised you to be honest. What do you have to say for yourself?”

She stiffened; the look of defiance I was starting to recognise all too well returning to her face. She stared haughtily at me before answering her mother.

“What _they_ did was disgusting. I told Edward that before the accident. He knew it was wrong; why else would he have tried to end it between them? I’m _helping_ him, and he will see that. He doesn’t remember them being together and so I’m putting things right – back to how they should be. Edward should be with me.”

I spoke quietly.

“And what about what Edward wants? Have you taken that into consideration?”

“It’s a phase – he’s experimenting. It’s best for him if he never remembers; he and I can move past this.”

“No, Lauren.” Esme’s voice was steely. “You cannot play with his life like this. He is confused and you are the cause of that. He already feels guilty because he has no memory of telling you it was over, and now he believes he has slept with you? This is cruel, Lauren. You are causing him pain. Is that what you want? To hurt him? Punish him for not loving you enough? If you truly love _him_ , you will allow him free will to make his own choices.”

For a moment I thought that Esme was making progress, but I saw the stubbornness on Lauren’s pretty face and I knew she was not in the mood to make deals. Esme persisted.

“Lauren, you must tell him the truth. It’s the right thing to do for everyone.”

“For dad, you mean! You’re just taking his side! You don’t understand - how can Edward say he loves dad? He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He loves _me_.”

Her words hit me like a physical blow. _He loves me?_ Esme was still doggedly trying to get through to our daughter.

“I’m sure Edward knew his own mind. It’s not our place to tell him he’s wrong, especially now. You cannot play games with his memory, Lauren. You must tell him that you lied.”

“No.”

Esme’s legendary patience was starting to wane and I sensed a battle ahead.

“Have you considered what will happen when Edward’s memory returns? How he will feel when he realises he was tricked into making the wrong choice?”

Lauren opened her mouth to protest.

“He will be hurt all over again. He will be upset and resent you for what you did. He won’t forgive you, Lauren, you know that. There’s no getting past a lie like that. It’s a betrayal of trust.”

As Lauren stayed obstinately silent, Esme delivered the killing blow.

“Edward is an adult. He has the right to choose who he wants to have a relationship with. And he has chosen your father. Whether or not you approve, _he has chosen._ Respect that choice, and show some respect to your father. He has the right to be happy too.” She reached out and squeezed my hand, catching my gaze.

“No matter how you feel about your father right now, you need to be there to support each other; one of you is going to get your heart broken when all this is over.”

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

It was Tuesday before I was finally allowed to go home. Alice and Rosalie were making sure I was ready, helping me pack up my few belongings before Emmett came to fetch me. It didn’t take two of them, but I was pretty sure that Rosalie was loitering on purpose to see Emmett. I had spoken to him about her; he had turned very slightly pink and said he thought she was beautiful. They hadn’t yet been out on a proper date, but I had heard that they had had coffee together in the cafeteria when he came to visit me. I just wanted to see them together, and see how Emmett acted around her. I’d soon know how he truly felt.

When I signed the release forms, Alice hugged me and said she’d see me soon. When I looked bemused she simply said that Carlisle was a very good friend of hers, and gave me a knowing look. I blushed. He had said he was applying for some overdue leave and that he wouldn’t be here when I left but would be in touch. If I was not mistaken, he was as anxious for our date as I was.

Emmett arrived and my thoughts cut off as I watched him. He swaggered in, all smiles and joviality, until he saw Rosalie was in the room. I literally watched him turn into an awkward teenager before my very eyes, shuffling his feet nervously as they smiled at each other. _Oh yeah – he’s a goner. Treat him right, Rosalie._

As I walked past him I whispered,

“I hope you have her number. Oh, and she loves yellow roses. Just so you know.” I had no doubt whatsoever that a couple of dozen would be making their way to her in no time at all.

As I waited for Emmett and Rosalie to exchange phone numbers, I asked Alice the one question I had avoided whilst I was here.

“I’m sorry if I’m out of line, but you never talk about a partner, Alice, and you work crazy hours here. How is it possible that someone as wonderful as you is single?”

She beamed at the compliment. “I can’t explain it, Edward. I just know that there’s someone out there for me. I just have to be patient until the time is right. It will happen, and we will all be great friends. I’m positive of that.”

I leaned down and hugged her tiny frame once again, so grateful to her for her support during my stay. She had stayed almost around the clock for the first day after my accident; that went beyond simple devotion to duty. It was friendship.

Looking up, I saw that Emmett was ready to go, and looking happier than a dog with two tails.

“Someone has a date...” I sing-songed quietly, and he cuffed my shoulder as I laughed. I said goodbye to Rosalie and Alice, and we made our way to Emmett’s jeep. I sighed.

“The jeep, Emmett? Are you seriously trying to bounce what remains of my brain free from its moorings?” He looked worried.

“This baby is a smooth ride, top of the line suspension...” He tailed off as I laughed at his seriousness. “Oh I see. Well Eddie boy, unless you want to walk home I’d get your skinny ass in the car. Which reminds me; when do you want to go car shopping? I’ve found a few potentials that might suit you. I really think you should consider something cooler this time.”

“Cooler? I’m thinking safer - maybe a Volvo. They do very well in crash tests you know.”

Emmett raised a judgemental eyebrow but wisely kept silent.

~xxXxx~

I stood in my tiny lounge room and took a good look around. Nothing seemed different, which was good. Walking through to my bedroom, I noticed that the bed was rumpled, as if I had left in a hurry – perhaps I had been running late on Friday? I went to smooth the covers, and the simple act fanned a scent that was at once both familiar and yet out of place here. I frowned. Kneeling on the bed, I moved to plump my pillows and more of that same fragrance was released. Curious, I lay my head on my pillow for a moment and relaxed in the simple comfort of my own bed. Reaching for the other pillow to snuggle, I noticed immediately that the fragrance was centred there. It was deliciously familiar and yet... Had I bought new cologne? It wasn’t something I bought often, maybe a present from Lauren. It was definitely a masculine, marine fragrance, and it soothed me, my mind relating it to comfort and... pleasure.  As my eyes fluttered closed, I remembered smelling traces of that same scent somewhere else, maybe at the bar. I knew it wasn’t Emmett’s choice, and Dr Anders hadn’t worn any, as far as I could remember; he had smelled of fresh soap when he examined me.

I dozed for a little while, relaxed and comfortable at last. When my phone buzzed I rolled over and dug it out of my pocket.

**Edward, sorry I wasn’t there this morning, but I was making arrangements for our date tonight, if you still feel up to it. Let me know.**

**C**

I smiled as I read the message several times, before responding with a definite yes.

**Excellent! I’ll swing by at 6.00 to pick you up. We can get something to eat afterward.**

**C**

Smiling at his obvious enthusiasm, it occurred to me that I hadn’t checked my phone. Maybe there were other messages on there that would shed light on the past few days. I scrolled quickly through the last few days and to my crushing disappointment found no others from Carlisle. As a last resort I checked the call list, and there they were – two calls late Thursday evening. So that proved that he had had my number prior to the accident. It was fortunate that Lauren hadn’t found it as I suspected she would have deleted both the call record and the phone number.

The nurses had shown me how to wash my hair and avoid my stitches, and so at 6pm I found myself looking reasonably smart and presentable when the doorbell rang. My palms immediately started to sweat and I wiped them on my denim clad thighs. I was all kinds of nervous, but excitement was bubbling in the pit of my stomach at the thought of seeing him again. Opening it I took a quick breath to steady myself. He stood in jeans and a soft black polo shirt, open at the collar.

He inclined his head, his eyes raking over me and a smile spreading over his face.

“Are you ready to go?”

I couldn’t control my nerves, shyness overcoming me as I felt the warmth of his smile wash over me. I nodded, barely able to form the word.

“Yes.” I cleared my throat and grinned.

I followed him downstairs to where a beautiful Mercedes stood waiting. I opened the door to the sleek machine and climbed inside, admiring the interior and the cleanliness. Mine had been the vehicular equivalent of a condemned building compared to this.

“So, where are we going? Are you going to tell me?”

“It’s just something I thought might relax you and let your mind rest. It’s very peaceful. If you’re not into it then that’s fine, we’ll go grab a bite to eat instead. No big deal.”

I sensed that he had tried hard to arrange something special for me and I was damned if I was going to disappoint him. I would love it no matter what.

We cut through the late evening traffic with ease, and before long were approaching Pier 59. He pulled the car into an empty parking slot along the waterfront and switched off the engine.

“Have you ever been here before?”

I looked around at the quiet, darkened buildings and wondered what he was getting at. I raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“I hope we’re not about to test my swimming skills as I should inform you that I’ve been advised by my doctor to keep my stitches dry.”

He chuckled. “Come on and I’ll show you.”

We walked down the pier and approached the Aquarium, the last few customers leaving as they prepared to close up for the night. Carlisle walked up to the door and asked for someone named Sam; the girl disappeared and came back with a tall dark haired guy with the deepest voice. He sounded like James Earl Jones as he greeted Carlisle with a hefty shoulder slap. Carlisle called me over and, mystified, I followed him into the building.

“What are we doing here?” I whispered.

“Have you ever been here, Edward? It’s beautiful, soothing for the soul I always think.”

I shook my head. “No, I never have. How are we here? It’s closed up now, isn’t it?”

“This is Sam Uley – he runs the Aquarium.” I nodded and smiled at that the man as I shook his hand. “We go back a long time, and when I asked him for a small favour he was gracious enough to agree. We have this place to ourselves for an hour; no other customers around, just us and the fish. Want to take a look? I wanted to show you the Dome. It’s spectacular.”

The warmth and the silence enveloped me, and I followed Carlisle as he led me through the building, past vast exhibits of sea monsters and jellyfish, until we exited a tunnel and walked into the Dome.

My jaw dropped.

Way above me shoals of fish glided around the surface of the dome. As I watched, sharks slid silently through the deep, the other fish keeping a safe distance. I was mesmerised as I walked to the glass and watched the secret world going about its business. I don’t know how long I stood there but I heard Carlisle walk over to me, seeing his reflection in the glass.

His voice was low. “As first dates go, how am I doing?”

I turned to him. “Pretty impressive; this is beautiful and just what the doctor ordered. It’s so peaceful here. Thank you, Carlisle.”

He looked almost embarrassed at my words. Looking down I saw his hand clenched by his side and knew what I had to do. Running my fingers gingerly across his fist I felt his fingers uncurl, lacing them with mine. I gasped at the contact, the anticipation of it amplifying the electric current coursing through me at his touch.  Turning to face him I tried to speak, but found no words as his eyes held mine for an infinity. His other hand reached to lightly cup my cheek and I found myself leaning in to him as if hypnotised. When his lips brushed mine I felt a shock reverberate through my body; I heard his sharp inhalation at the same time as mine as we gently kissed beneath the waves, just we two in our own lost world.

And then I recognised it.

The scent from the pillow.

It was Carlisle’s cologne.

Carlisle had slept in my bed.

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my ever loyal pre readers who keep me on the right track.
> 
> I own nothing except ‘New Beginnings’. I’ve found that Carlisle shares far better than Emmett. 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	6. Chapter 6

**EPOV**

The kiss broke; the only sounds in the room our rapid breathing as we fought for control. I rested my forehead against his, feeling his breath on my face as I inhaled his scent, so happy that one piece of the jigsaw had slotted into place. Pulling back a fraction, I watched his eyes flutter open, their rich depths drawing me in as they refocused on mine. When he spoke, his voice was a breathless whisper.

“I’ve missed that more than you know.”

My breathing faltered and my stomach flipped. Swallowing hard, I summoned my courage.

“I thought, before all this confusion I mean, I thought that maybe we’d gone out for drinks or something to eat, and made out in the car on the way home. I had no idea.” Carlisle looked at me questioningly and I felt myself blush under his scrutiny. “Sorry, I’m not making much sense, am I. Ah... today, when I got home from the hospital, I noticed the fragrance of unfamiliar cologne on my pillows. I thought maybe it had been a gift or something and I’d forgotten, but, for some reason I couldn’t fathom, the scent seemed oddly comforting to me. It felt weird.”

I sucked in a ragged breath before continuing, my courage starting to waver. My words came out in a rush as I struggled not to stumble over them, my eyes downcast.

“But standing here, kissing you, I can smell it again. It’s your cologne, and the only reason my bed would smell of you is if you’d been in it - which means we must have slept together.” It was a statement rather than a question.

When I dragged my eyes back to his he was watching me intently, our hands still entwined, his thumb lightly rubbing across my knuckles.

“Does that scare you?” His question was tentative.

“No.” I blinked, realising it was true. “I’m just surprised, that’s all. I’ve never... you know... with a guy before.”

He smiled, looking bashful, and my insides fluttered faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

“We don’t have to do that again if you don’t want to. I’m not assuming anything here, Edward, we take this as slow as you want. I meant what I said before - if you change your mind about us...”

I silenced him with another kiss, my hand reaching out to pull him closer to me, passion rising as our tongues reached out and explored, touching tentatively at first, then growing bolder. My body was aflame from my feet to the roots of my hair. Never in all my life had I been kissed like this – so expertly and thoroughly. There was no fumbling, no awkwardness, just pure lust storming through my body as the kiss continued, ferocious in its intensity. I felt I would suffocate if I let him go, his lips so moulded to mine that we were one entity as we stood locked together in desire, no longer a part of space and time.

Finally pulling away I nuzzled into the hollow of his throat, my hot breath fanning across his neck as I trailed upward, leaving feather light kisses along his flushed skin. When my nose reached the underside of his jaw I stopped and inhaled deeply, finding the potent mix of cologne and heat on his skin utterly intoxicating. I listened to his uneven breathing and quiet gasps, thrilled by his responses to me. Leaving the soft, fragrant recesses of his throat I moved slowly along his smooth jaw line until I reached his slightly parted, expressive lips, claiming them once more as my own. This time my hand found his hair and tangled into its softness, pulling him closer still as he deepened the kiss, my knees weakening as my body demanded his touch, craving his flesh against mine. I loved the total loss of control, handing myself over to him in total acceptance, relinquishing my power to his authority. It had felt so right being naked with him; there had been no fear, only lust and pleasure and need...

_Where did that come from?_

Racking my brain I couldn’t conjure up any memory of the event my mind was referring to, only that odd feeling of chasing a dream that was unravelling before my eyes, fragile as a soap bubble. Perhaps I was merely fantasising, hallucinating through lack of oxygen, but as he pillaged my willing mouth I surrendered completely, moaning as I pressed myself against him tighter than ivy on an oak. My hand slid up under his shirt, my splayed fingers feeling his heat as they roamed the expanse of his back. I heard his muffled groan as the kiss intensified, his muscles jumping at my touch.  My jeans had tightened considerably and I realised now that it wasn’t just mine that were affected. This time when we pulled apart it was all I could do not to start unbuckling his belt.

I couldn’t deny that my body yearned for him; all those fantasises I had had about him were nothing compared to this all-encompassing need burning through me, erasing all caution and doubt in its path. This thing we had, he and I, it was right and I wanted to tell him so, but I knew his response would be to wait – wait until I could remember fully. I understood how scared he was, but I wanted to tell him that just being with him gave me a sense of completion I hadn’t felt in forever.

“Carlisle...”

“Mmhmm?” His breathing was laboured; his darkened eyes drank me in.

“I think we better get going before your friend comes to find us. Let’s go and get something to eat. I don’t want this date to end just yet. It’s my best first date ever.” I smiled at him, feeling the heat rise in my face as I did so.

He laughed, stroking his thumb across his lower lip absentmindedly. This time I reached out and caught his hand; he looked surprised until I touched that same thumb to my lip, kissing the fleshy pad softly. His breath caught and he reached out to capture my free hand.

“Let’s go say goodbye to Sam and find a nice restaurant before I break my promise to myself and drag you into the back seat of the Mercedes.” He chuckled, his eyes still dark with desire.

We walked slowly out of the Dome, stopping once to look back at the calm scene all around us. Carlisle looked at me with a mischievous smile.

“You know, I think those fish got to see more than their money’s worth.” I grinned, bumping his shoulder playfully as we walked at a leisurely pace back through the exhibits, stopping to admire the giant octopus as he glided across his gigantic tank to investigate us. As we reached the exit, I saw a light on in a room marked ‘Staff Only’. Carlisle called out.

“We’re off, Sam. Thank you for the favour.” I heard an answering call.

“No worries, brother. Anytime. See you soon.”

“We’ll have a drink soon, my friend. The tab will be on me.”

“I’ll hold you to that, doc.” His laugh was as deep as his voice and seemed oddly fitting in its surroundings, as if the heavy waves of high tide were rumbling all around us.

Carlisle led me outside into the cool, dark air and we walked back toward the car, our hands clasped. 

“So – where are we going to eat?” I didn’t really know of any good places; usually I just picked up a slice of pizza if I was in a hurry. Good food wasn’t something I ate too often and I was a little concerned as to where Carlisle would want to go.

“I know a little family run place that does really good steak if you’re interested. Or if you want seafood we can go to ...”

“Steak is good. In fact I haven’t had a decent steak in forever. You won’t hate me if I order it well done, will you? I used to get grief from Emmett for that. He said it killed the flavour, but I just like it _cooked._ ”

He laughed and turned, walking backwards for a few seconds while he looked at me.

“However you want it is fine with me, Edward.” His words sent shivers through me as I forgot all about food for a moment, my mouth dry. I pulled him closer to me and we walked the short distance to the Mercedes, our hands locked together, our bodies in constant contact. He unlocked the car and slipped gracefully inside; I climbed in the other side and just sat for a moment, waiting for Carlisle to start the car. When he didn’t I risked a look at him, and as soon as our eyes met the air crackled with sexual energy. Turning in my seat, I gazed at him for a moment before reaching out to stroke his neck above the collar of his shirt. He turned toward me and I ran my fingers over his beautiful lips before leaning over and claiming them once more, powerless to resist him. His head fell back as I pressed him against the headrest, leaving his lips to explore his throat once more. This time I ventured lower, into the open collar of his shirt, his breathing became a little uneven as I ran my tongue around the ‘v’ of exposed flesh. Cupping his face, I ran my lips across his cheek working my way slowly around until I nuzzled his ear, mouthing his earlobe before touching the tip of my tongue against the outer shell, circling it slowly inward, bathing the skin in warmth. His breathing was now very laboured; when he suddenly spoke, he struggled to keep his voice even against the onslaught of my tongue and his obvious arousal.

“Edward, stop. We can’t do this. Not here. We’ll get arrested for indecency.” My lips brushed against the damp skin and he groaned, my breath spilling into his ear.

“Then take us somewhere we _can_ do this. Please, Carlisle.”

~xxXxx~

 

**CPOV**

My head spun as his mouth systematically sought out my most sensitive spots, teasing them mercilessly. I hadn’t been joking about the back seat – every cell in my over-stimulated body screamed at me to pull him into the back of the car and rip off the clothes that displayed his body to such perfection. My jeans were incredibly tight and I could feel dampness on the fabric beneath as I struggled to regain control. It was too soon... too soon... too soon...

_Focus! My god it’s hot in here._

Before his hands could reach for my belt and release my aching flesh, I summoned my last ounce of restraint. Running my hand through my hair, I sat up in my seat and started the engine. Edward sat back; as I reached for the lights I saw movement on the footpath in the shadows and realised how close we had come to being seen. The windows were fogged and I turned on the air vents as I edged out of the parking bay and turned for the main road.

I could hear Edward’s loud breathing as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to ease the pressure. I headed for town and we drove in silence for a couple of minutes before he realised we weren’t headed back in the direction of his apartment.

“Uhh... Carlisle? Where are we going?” He sounded confused.

“We’re going for dinner, like we planned. You need some decent food inside you and I’m willing to bet you haven’t been grocery shopping since this morning. Unless Emmett came over and stocked your fridge for you, that is.”

Edward snorted with laughter. “Yeah, like that was ever going to happen! I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow and stock up on essentials. What little fresh food I had went bad while I was gone – all my food now has a furry coating.”

I grimaced. “Let me prescribe the penicillin, Edward. Leave the home grown variety well alone.” Looking at him sideways, I grinned. At that moment my stomach growled and I realised I hadn’t eaten in hours due to my nervous anticipation of tonight. Edward snickered quietly.

“You didn’t eat before tonight either, did you?” I shook my head. He looked down as he spoke. “Glad it wasn’t just me. I was so nervous about this, even though I couldn’t wait for it to happen. I swear I was like a girl on her first ever date – trying to find the right outfit to impress you. It’s kinda pathetic.” He laughed dryly.

Slowing to a stop at the lights, I looked over at him sitting next to me, flushed with embarrassment. “Well, if it helps, I can tell you that purple suits you very, _very_ well.” The lights went green and seeing the little restaurant up ahead I slowed and pulled in, easing the car into an empty space. As I switched off the engine and unfastened my seatbelt, I looked over at him.

“In fact, right now you look like Christmas morning to me. The best gift I could ever ask for.” I stroked his freshly shaven jaw with the backs of my fingers and he leaned into me. We kissed, breaking away before it could become heated once more.

“Hungry?”

He didn’t have to answer for me to know that he hungered for more than steak.

We walked into the inviting warmth, the place just as I remembered. I had barely closed the door when I was spotted by Demetri who came rushing over to hug me, exclaiming loudly that it had been too long since my last visit. I agreed with him and turned to introduce Edward to my old friend. As they shook hands, I heard a loud scream from the kitchen and Irina appeared, her arms wide, as she rushed to embrace me. I was enveloped in a tight hug as she muttered words both of castigation and happiness at my reappearance. I had known the couple for many years and ate here regularly back when Marcus and I wanted a little time to ourselves away from hospital gossip and customers. We were treated like family after our first visit when Irina had burned herself badly in the kitchen. I had treated and dressed the burn on the premises and told her to come in to see me the next day. They were so grateful and I was told there would always be a table for us at Oleander’s.

Demetri’s eyes sparkled as he took in mine and Edward’s clasped hands, leading us to the private booths on the far side where we would not be disturbed. I thanked him, and he produced menus with a flourish before retiring discreetly. The restaurant was quiet despite the hour, and we were alone in our cosy corner, comfortable on the curved, leather banquettes, our legs touching under the table. The only direct light came from the solitary candle on the table that cast a dancing shadow on the wall of the booth. I knew what I would order but I waited for Edward to choose. When Demetri returned I ordered a medium steak in peppercorn sauce with a house salad. Edward, on the other hand, ordered a well done steak, no sauce, fries, and asked for tomato ketchup. I shook my head, laughing, as Demetri’s eyebrows shot up into his hair. Catching his eye, I also ordered two cold beers. I wondered what Irina would make of her prized steak being covered with ketchup, and smirked. Returning with the beers, Demetri also slid over a small bread basket.

Passing Edward his beer, I decided to make a toast. Looking into his beautiful green eyes, I raised my bottle.

“To us.”

“To us,” he echoed, touching the bottles together before each taking a pull, the cool liquid soothing to my parched throat. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The purple shirt he wore suited him so perfectly, and I’m sure Alice would agree that it went well with my black choice, not that I was worried about being coordinated. In my honest opinion, both shirts would look even better on my bedroom floor, but I was trying hard to keep my mind out of the bedroom and just enjoy Edward’s company, fully clothed.

While we waited for the food to arrive, we talked about our interests and to my delight I discovered that he too had a love for classical music. It transpired that Edward was an accomplished pianist having taken classes since he was small.

“Would you play for me some time?”

He smiled awkwardly.

“I’d love to, but I don’t have a piano here in Seattle. My mom used to rent one for me when I lived at home. I don’t know anywhere around here that has one for public use. If I get a bigger place someday then I’d love to have my own. It’s a dream of mine.”

The food arrived and smelled amazing; for the first time that evening I was able to concentrate on something other than the beautiful man in front of me. I cut into the succulent steak, cooked to perfection, and was about to take a bite when I noticed with amusement that Edward was delicately dipping his fries into the ketchup one by one, rather than just smothering them with sauce. He caught me watching and stopped.

“What? You don’t like fries and ketchup?”

“Not personally, no. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to stare, I was just looking at your hands. Now that I know you’re a musician I can see that you really do have the most perfect fingers for a pianist.”

He looked surprised for a moment, looking at his hand and frowning, flexing the fingers before picking up his knife and slicing into his steak.

“I’m glad you like them, Doctor. They are good for other things too.” He chewed his steak and chased it with a mouthful of beer. I waited for him to swallow before replying with a smile,

“Oh, Edward, I _know_ they are.”   

He blushed and gripped his cutlery tightly, cutting off the blood supply to his fingertips. I wanted to reach across and soothe him, to apologise for my comment, but when he looked at me again with huge, darkened eyes I realised he wasn’t mad with me, just frustrated at having a barrier between us. I barely tasted the rest of my meal, although I’m sure it was as excellent as ever. We talked about our work and our friends until Edward had finished his steak, leaving some of his fries untouched. When I asked if I could have one, he picked up a fry and placed it in front of my lips for me to sample. I took it between my teeth and ate it, my gaze locked to his. Holding his hand in place I sucked in his long, elegant finger, all the time rubbing my forefinger in light circles over his upright palm. I watched his skin flush, a moan escaping his throat as I slid my lips from the finger and kissed the tip. Before things could spiral out of control, Demetri reappeared to enquire if we would dessert and coffee. I shook my head; looking to Edward I saw him do the same and I asked for the bill.

Standing to leave, I saw Edward try to adjust his jeans surreptitiously. Crossing the small space between us, I slid my hand into his and I felt him relax as he gripped it like a drowning man would a life raft. Paying the bill, and brushing off Edward’s attempt to split it, I was asked by Irina to take a look at a new painting her husband had purchased. Knowing my love of art, he very much wanted my opinion on its quality and authenticity. I was more than happy to take a look and so Edward and I were led through to the private rooms at the back of the restaurant. They were furnished in rich, opulent colours that I recognised as Irina’s influence. Delicious plum and gold voile drapes hung at the windows, the furniture covered in rich aubergine and plum velvet throws with delicate golden stitching. The overall effect was warm and welcoming, and a touch Moroccan in my opinion. Leading us through the rooms, Demetri paused at a magnificent painting in what looked to be an ornate gilded frame, quite possibly the original from its time.

I had to let go of Edward’s hand as Irina whisked him away to proudly show off her home; I hadn’t yet heard them return. The soft strains of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata drifted through from another room, and I looked at Demetri, confused. He silently pointed to Irina, standing transfixed outside an open door. My feet carried me unbidden to her side and my eyes fell on a beautiful old piano at which sat Edward, his eyes closed, fingers flying over the keys. The music swelled with so much power and emotion it was as if his soul was laid bare for me to see, and it pulled at my gut until I could barely draw breath. Confusion, frustration and pain were written plainly across his face, and for one brief moment I almost feared for him until I heard the mood shift and felt the change in emotion. The melancholy notes were so poignant, so stunningly beautiful, made all the more so because they were played with such raw passion. The melody made me want to weep for lost loves and for lost, lonely souls, for surely Edward, as he displayed his heart to me, was lost without his memory.

As the music quieted and faded, he opened his eyes and belatedly realised he had an audience. He tried to apologise, but was cut off by Irina who hugged him, telling him that it was the first time her piano had truly been played by a maestro. Walking over to his side, I stroked his face as he lifted it to me, his eyes full of want and craving. Conscious of our company I looked to the door to find it closed, leaving us alone in the cosy, intimate room. Giving in to an overwhelming pull I leaned down and kissed him, the nearness of him, and the touch of him, more essential to me now than the air in my lungs.

_Oh my darling._

Taking his hand I pulled him to his feet, the only noise in the room the soft, wet sounds of our kisses blended into the symphony of our ragged breathing.

Our lips reluctantly parted, and I looked deep into his eyes.

“Let’s get you home. It’s been a long day.” Our hands still intertwined, I led him to the door and out into the hallway. Irina appeared and, with a beaming smile, hugged us both, ordering us to visit again soon. Demetri clapped me on the back and, shaking Edward’s hand, told him he was welcome to come play their piano whenever he wished. Edward looked awkward, but his thank you was sincere. As we walked out to the car, he was silent and didn’t speak again until we were seated inside.

When he spoke, his words stunned me.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to embarrass you in there in front of your friends. It’s just been so long since I played and I forgot it was someone’s house. I just sat down for a moment and played without thinking.” His hands were twisting as he sat looking straight ahead. I reached out, stilling his hands with mine.

“Look at me, please?” He grimaced before complying, and I saw fear and self loathing etched into his beautiful features. As he quickly looked away again, I was at a loss.

_Why are you scared, my love?_

“You think you _embarrassed_ me?” My voice barely registered above a whisper. “Edward, you were amazing back there. You had Irina almost in tears; and me... well, I’ve never seen someone so lost in their own world. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to let me in.”

His eyes flew to my face. He looked bewildered.

“You were afraid? Why? You could do some much better than me. I’m damaged. What were probably the most important memories of my life are missing, and I may never get them back. That terrifies me – that I may never remember us, how we began and how that _felt_.” Pulling his hand away, he banged his fist down hard on his thigh.

“If that _is_ the case, then we will make those memories again for you - together. I can’t not see you, not have you in my life. You own me, Edward Masen. Body and soul I’m yours, and I don’t ever want that to change.”

It was my turn to be scared; the thought of life without Edward caused my stomach to twist painfully. I remembered my promise to him as he lay unconscious in that hospital bed: no more sleeping alone – he belonged with me. While I tried to do the right thing and resist his advances, despite ample provocation, I knew that being apart from him wasn’t an option. My defences were down, and if he wanted me tonight I wouldn’t fight him anymore. We would make new memories together, strong memories that would shine bright within us for all the years yet to come.   

I started the car, pulling out of the restaurant parking bay and heading back toward Edward’s home. Once on the main road, I reached over and laced my hand with his as we drove in silence, each in turn looking over at the other. Arriving at his building a short trip later, I pulled up outside and turned off the engine, using our joined hands to put it into neutral. Slipping off my seatbelt with one hand I waited; the ball now firmly in his court. Whatever happened now was his choice. Either way, he would be in comforting and familiar surroundings.

The mood in the car was so different to earlier when it had been all lust, desire and heat. Now I felt only tension and worry swirling around us.

“Do you need anything?” I ventured, my thumb brushing his fingers affectionately.

_If he’s changed his mind, accept it. You’ve told him how you feel._

Had I?

He turned to me, and I felt my heart skip.

“Come up?” His eyes looked... bleak. Releasing his hand, I climbed out of the car and waited for him to unlock the building door, holding it open for me as I followed him up to where my most recent memories of us together were centred. He bolted the apartment door behind us and walked through to his bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I now felt genuine concern – his behaviour was different.

“Edward, are you feeling alright? Is it your head?” Following him through, I was at his side in mere moments, checking his stitches for any sign of swelling.

“It hurts.” His hands fisted at his sides, his eyes clenched shut.

“I have painkillers in my bag. I’ll go and fetch them from the car.” Unlocking the door, I flew downstairs and retrieved the bag from the trunk. Back inside I poured him a glass of water, handing it to him with the drugs in my palm, as I eyed him anxiously. He swallowed them with a little difficulty and chased them down with more water.

“Lie down,” I urged, helping him off with his shoes and socks and waiting for him to unbuckle his belt so I could slide the denim down his legs and over his feet. Pulling the covers over him, I stroked his unruly hair soothingly, and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before standing.

“Where are you going?” His voice was groggy now.

“You need to rest. Your body is exhausted after all the excitement tonight... you’ve overdone it and it’s all my fault.”

“Don’t leave ... stay with me... ”

His plea was all it took. Slipping off my jeans and shirt, I carefully climbed in beside him. His warm legs immediately tangled around mine as he snuggled into my chest, his body automatically finding its favourite sleeping position just as it had the last time we shared a bed. My heart swelled with love for him, and I couldn’t deny it anymore. I held him close and kissed his bruised temple gently as he slipped into slumber.

“I love you, Edward.”

~xxXxx~


	7. Chapter 7

**EPOV**

_The road ahead is empty._

_I see the crossroads, automatically slowing, not needing to read the warning sign._

_Smiling, I think of Carlisle; wondering how to explain it all to Emmett._

_A car approaches the crossing from the left._

_He doesn’t slow._

_I brake hard, the car heading directly toward me._

_My brakes lock, the car slews to the right as I fight to keep control._

_A jolting, deafening crunch of metal and my seatbelt locks into the safety position._

_The airbag inflates suddenly, forcing my head into the newly rearranged doorframe._

_The coppery tang of blood in my mouth; a hot, metallic smell hanging in the air._

_A sudden, deafening silence broken only by the ticking of engines._

_And then nothing._

_~xxXxx~_

“Help me!”

I heard a scream as I bolted upright in bed, gasping painfully for air and sobbing.

Warm arms hugged me tight as I choked out the details of the dream, reliving it for the first time since the crash. The fear sent adrenalin coursing through me, my body shaking and sweating through the ordeal and I felt Carlisle stroke my back in comfort, rocking me ever so slightly and kissing my hair, telling me to let it out, just let it all out.

When I calmed, I turned to look at the small clock on the nightstand – 3.10am.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Shh. Don’t apologise for a bad dream. This is your memory sorting things out; you’re healing. It’s a huge leap forward, my love. Now – try to sleep, come lie back down.”

Resting my head on his chest, I breathed in the scent of him and closed my eyes, his arms keeping me close and safe.

~xxXxx~

 

When I woke much later, I was curled into Carlisle’s body, wrapped around him like a second skin. His hand idly stroked my arm and, when I raised my head, I saw him smiling at me.

“Good morning,” he said, dipping his face to mine and capturing my mouth in a kiss before nuzzling my nose with his. “How did you sleep? Better?”

“I think so; I don’t remember any more dreams. I can’t believe I remembered the crash. Now I understand why Emmett said my car was totalled; the door frame was all the way over my seat when I hit my head.”

Looking at him I saw his jaw tighten as worry flitted across his face, even though the accident was old news to him. “Thank you for staying last night. I don’t know how I would have coped if you hadn’t been here.” I frowned, hoping I didn’t sound needy.

“I’m here because you asked me to stay, and because honestly, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

As I shifted position against him his hand slid down, now stroking my waist and hip. I was conscious of my morning wood, his hand so close he would most likely be brushing against it if I moved so much as a fraction more. The thought of his hand on my erection only made me harder, and it threatened to burst free over the top of my underwear. I wondered if he was in the same predicament. With my arm draped over him I started to mimic his actions, my thumb tracing circles over his abs and around his bellybutton, running the back of my hand over his stomach, feeling the trail of hair that hinted at what lay below.

I suddenly wanted to see, no question in my mind. I wanted to make him feel good and show him how much he meant to me at the same time. Pushing myself up the bed I captured his mouth, kissing him with a hunger that I couldn’t control. I heard his harsh intake of breath as my cock grazed the inside of his hip, alerting him to my intentions, his hand moving to grip my ass and hold me there. My hand slid south and met first with the already damp waistband of his underwear, before encountering his swollen cock. I slid my fingers teasingly up and down either side of him before gripping and massaging him through the fabric, his hips bucking a little into my hand.

Pulling my lips away from his, I breathed hotly into his ear,

“This is what I wanted last night in the car, to have you literally in the palm of my hand. I hope you’ve no objections now?”  I chuckled at his moan; my hand found its way under the elastic and I was finally feeling warm, eager flesh that was mine for the taking.

Kissing my way down his chest, I pushed aside the covers and worked my way across the smooth planes of his abdomen to where my hand still grasped his magnificence beneath the cotton. With my free hand I slid down his underwear and gave myself full access to the prize. Seeing him naked for the first time was a revelation. His body was toned and defined, his cock straight as a die, the head sitting proudly like a crown. Instinctively, my fingers gripped him how I liked to be held, moving smoothly up and down, brushing the underside of the head on each upstroke. His gasps spurred me on, and the realisation that I wanted to taste him came as no surprise. I had fantasised about this man for so long that the desire to experience the unknown overrode my natural hesitancy. I leaned in and lightly licked his balls, hearing his raspy intake of breath as I dragged my tongue over the firm globes. Taking one in my mouth I sucked it gently, my tongue bathing it in warm wetness before releasing it and lavishing the same attention on the other.

Carlisle’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his moans exquisite. I stilled my hand on his straining erection, moving to lick along his length experimentally. Looking up, I met his hooded eyes as I allowed my tongue to swirl across his head, sweeping up the pre come that had gathered there and tasting the salty flavour of him as I did so.

My lips captured the engorged head of his cock and I took him into my mouth, my hand sliding down to the base holding him steady as I enveloped him, my tongue caressing his shaft as I sank down as far as I could.

_Had I done this before? It felt... familiar._

I assumed I must have as, judging by his moans, Carlisle was certainly having a good time. I watched his stomach muscles flutter as I bobbed my head up and down his swollen shaft, my hand now working in tandem with my mouth and lips, keeping up a steady rhythm.

“Edward... oh god, _Edward_...”

Hearing my name drop from his lips only fed my desperation to please him. His guttural groans increased in volume as I felt him harden still further. Taking as much of him in my mouth as possible, I slid my free hand across the bed to where his fingers were bunching the sheet. His head had fallen back, his neck arched against the pillow as his breath came in heaving gasps. When my fingers found his he gripped them tightly, lifting his head to meet my eyes. His neck and chest were flushed, his eyes dark, his hips gently thrusting up into my mouth as I worked to push him over the edge into blissful ecstasy. Concentrating only on the sensitive head of his cock I mouthed it, fluttering my tongue against the underside, watching him until his face contorted and he stopped breathing for a second before a scream of release tore from him.

I swallowed his come as best I could, surprised by the quantity that he was able to produce. As his spasms slowed I was able to clean up the overspill, wiping my mouth before crawling up the bed and kissing my favourite spot on his neck, feeling the heat of his blood just beneath the surface.

He turned his head to face me.

“Unbelievable.” Rolling me over onto my back he pressed his mouth to mine, and I felt the blood thrum through my body with every flick of his tongue.  His hand slid down to my aching erection, already wet from my copious leakage.

“I won’t last long,” I warned him, as his hand closed around my length and began gliding up and down in a maddeningly slow rhythm. I felt my balls tighten and tried to breathe slowly to delay the inevitable. Carlisle’s eyes never left mine, his breath hot against my mouth as his hand worked between our sweaty bodies. I was panting now, struggling to keep my eyes open and locked onto his. When I cried out helplessly, coming all over our stomachs, he captured my mouth, swallowing my cries of pleasure.

As I came down from my high, breathing heavily, he moved his weight off of me, resting his head on his hand as he looked down, smiling.

“Did you know the French have a saying for orgasms: ‘La petite mort’? It means ‘little death’; that moment of near unconsciousness when you come really hard. I definitely had one of those moments this morning.” He grinned at me, nuzzling his nose into mine. “Here’s hoping for a thousand more of them with you.”

I raised my eyebrow at him, looking deeply wounded. “Only a thousand? What will we be doing the rest of the time – knitting?”

He burst out laughing, and I laughed with him, wincing slightly at the sudden throb in my head.

Carlisle sat up, looking at me shrewdly.

“Does your head still hurt? It’s been a few days since the accident; have you only just started getting these headaches now?”

I paused, not wanting to admit the truth. When I saw he would not be put off, I exhaled hard.

“I’ve... been having headaches and the odd dizzy spell. I...it’s nothing to worry about.”

“Edward! Why haven’t you said anything about this?”

“Because I wanted us to be more than doctor and patient; I thought that you would revert to doctor mode and we’d be back to square one – no dates, definitely no sex. And I like that stuff.” I smiled wryly.

“Good to see that bump on the head didn’t knock any sense into you, then. Edward, you have concussion; no alcohol and absolutely no unnecessary exertion for the next few days and you’ll be fine. You need to rest up. No going to look at cars for a few days either – not unless Emmett test drives them _for_ you.”

“So I can’t go back to work yet?” I knew Emmett would be okay and could cover my shifts, but I felt bad leaving him in the lurch like that. Plus, I needed to talk to him about the whole Lauren/Carlisle debacle. He was seriously out of the loop. I wondered how he would take the news that I was in love with a guy. It seemed a little wrong that I was considering telling Emmett when I hadn’t yet told Carlisle.

“Were you planning on going back this soon? I’m sure that wasn’t recommended when you checked out of hospital. Give yourself time to heal – talk to Emmett.”

He was right, of course. I guess my independent streak was strong; after all, I was used to working and looking after myself. _But things can change_ , I reminded myself.  I had a sudden thought.

“Does ‘no exertion’ mean no more sex?” I must’ve looked worried as he chuckled.

“I think what we’re doing is ok, but nothing more... strenuous, shall we say, until you are better. Just to be on the safe side.”

I swallowed hard, understanding his veiled reference immediately and feeling simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the same time. He was watching me closely.

“It’s only for a couple of days, and then we can explore further, if you want to. Now, how about we get cleaned up and go out for breakfast? Is there room for two in your shower?” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

Pushing myself up on my elbows, I pretended to think about it for a moment.

“Hmmm, it might be a bit of a squeeze, but if we stay close together we should fit.”

“Oh, I think that’ll work, don’t you?”

Sliding out of bed I turned, waiting for Carlisle to follow me, only to see him still laying there, his eyes predatory as they roved lazily over my naked body.

“Delicious,” he said, and goose bumps flared over my skin, my breath catching at the blatant suggestion in his voice.

“See something you like?” I challenged. “Well I’m off for a shower. Are you coming with...?” I laughed with childish delight when he flew out of bed and chased me out of the bedroom.

~xxXxx~

After a leisurely and very cosy shower, we dressed and made our way out to the little bistro across the street that served breakfasts. Over mouthfuls of pancakes, Carlisle made a suggestion.

“Why don’t you come and stay with me for a few days, just until you’re better.”

I automatically baulked at the suggestion, not meeting his eyes. I loved my independent life and, while having Carlisle in my home and my bed was perfection, I didn’t know if I could fit into his world, his life. I was self sufficient, having had to be growing up when mom worked long hours. The thought of living with someone, even for a short time, felt a little stifling. But then I thought back to how I had felt all those Wednesday nights when I went home alone after watching Carlisle leave the bar.

_I am a walking contradiction. He’s not asking me to move in – it’s just for a couple of days. We’d probably drive each other crazy anyway if I stayed any longer than that. Our lives are so different; barman and doctor – how could that ever work?_

As my self-doubt did battle with my pride, I realised Carlisle was speaking again.

“I can drive you anywhere you need to go, and make sure you eat. It’s important that you take it easy at the moment, Edward, and I just want to make sure that you’re okay. It’ll stop me worrying.”

My inner child railed. _Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t need to be looked after_. I put my fork down, having lost my appetite.

“Do you mind if I call Emmett? I really need to speak to him.”

He looked a little surprised at the change of subject, but rallied well.

“Sure, go ahead.”

I stood up and walked outside into the morning sun to call Emmett. He was up and working out, and sounded happy to hear my voice. I arranged to come over shortly to have a chat and he readily agreed. I walked back inside as I ended the call and, when I sat back down, Carlisle offered to drop me at Emm’s on his way home.

I paid for breakfast and we left, walking in uncomfortable silence out to the Mercedes, parked outside my building. I gave him the address and we drove to Emmett’s, the only sounds in the car that of our breathing. The atmosphere was strained, his unanswered question hanging in the air between us. Pulling up outside Emmett’s house, Carlisle looked despondent.

“Call me if you need a lift home?”

I nodded. “Emm will drop me home, no doubt. Can I call you later, anyway?”

 He smiled, finally. “Please do, then I can relax. Remember, no alcohol, okay?”

“Yes, doc.” My mouth quirked into a slight smile.

 I went to open the door, not knowing what else to do or say. His hand brushed mine and I squeezed it awkwardly, checking to see if Emmett was nearby. I’d rather tell him than show him, I decided. Not seeing him anywhere in the immediate vicinity I leaned over and kissed Carlisle with a smile before hopping out of the car. Watching him drive away, my thoughts were jumbled.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? He’s perfect, he wants me, and I’m in love with him. Why am I holding back now?_

Ringing the bell I waited for Emmett. Hearing his cheery bellow, I opened the door and yelled back:

“Just me, Emm!”

“Edward! Good to see ya, dude. How are you feeling?”

In true Emmett style, he threw an arm around me, clapping me on the shoulder.

“I’m okay, I think. I remembered the accident. Pretty brutal; no wonder the Subaru was a write-off. I’m definitely looking at getting a Volvo now.”

Emmett laughed. “So I can’t convince you to get a Jeep then? You wouldn’t regret it!”

I snorted my derision at that idea as we wandered through to his living room and sank into leather armchairs.

“Man, I forgot how nice these are.”

“So, Edward, what brings you here? Not that I’m not glad to see you. You remembered the accident, huh? Is that all that’s come back so far?”

“Yeah, so far. I’m hoping for more now the floodgates are open, so to speak. I need to know, Emm. It’s driving me crazy having these... gaps. That’s the main reason I came over. I need to tell you some stuff so you’ll understand what I mean, because my life as I remember it has changed somewhat in the last week or so.”

Emmett looked at me perceptively.

“Dude, you just got out of hospital yesterday. What the hell can have changed so much in so short a time? Problems with Lauren? She was acting a little weird in the hospital.”

I exhaled hard. Where to start?

“You have no idea.”

“So talk.”

“There’s something I never told you, before the accident I mean. On Wednesday nights this guy started coming to the bar. I didn’t recognise him and we didn’t talk, but I was ... attracted to him.”

Emmett’s eyebrows shot up into his hair and his eyes widened. I held up my hand when I saw him go to ask a question.

“Now, I have no memory of this yet but he and I somehow got together a couple of days before the crash.”

This time Emmett would not be denied.

“Got together? Edward, are you saying that you and he fu-”

I cut him off. “I think so, but, like I said, I don’t have any memory of that yet. He hasn’t given me any details; he says he wants me to remember in my own time.”

Emmett exhaled noisily, his knee jigging up and down. He was uncomfortable - I knew the signs.

“There’s more, Emm. Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah, I think so. Go on.” He twirled his finger in a circle.

“The thing is, when Lauren came to see me in the hospital she said that she and I had apparently done the same.”

“But isn’t that more likely, Ed? Really? I mean, this dude could be yanking your chain and just playing with you.”

“I don’t believe that. He and I have a... a connection I can’t explain. I just know it’s true. You yourself said in the hospital that it was a little odd I hadn’t told you about me and Lauren. Well, when I woke up in hospital and saw him, I recognised him straight away as the guy from the bar. He seemed so happy to see me, but then the nurses spoke to him and he disappeared. When he came by later he didn’t want to tell me anything, but I asked him outright if we were involved and he said yes.”

“He was at the hospital? Who is he?”

“Dr Cullen.”

“The old dude treating you?” Emmett looked horrified.

“No! No! The younger doctor - Rosalie’s friend. You must have seen him.”

“The tall, blond dude who visited you while I was there? He’s the one who kept me updated about you when you were in theatre. That whole night is a blur, what with the amount of that shitty coffee I drank.”

“That’s him. Well, Lauren came in later and started making a scene, crying and wailing that I had forgotten our first time. He came in and took her outside and that’s when I found out that Dr Cullen was...”

Emmett’s eyes widened suddenly.

“She called him ‘dad’!  I remember that now! Edward – what the FUCK?”

I winced.

“I know, I know. It couldn’t really get much worse, huh?” I forced out a laugh, looking over at Emm who was utterly dumbstruck. He rubbed his hand over his face before resting it under his nose.

“Carlisle and I went on a date last night, and this morning we went a little further than that. It was incredible, Emm, far better than with any of the girls I’ve been out with. It was a deeper connection. I’m in love with him, and,” I shrugged, looking away as I felt my face go red, “I probably was before the accident.”

“Does _he_ love _you_?” Emmett’s voice was low. “Because if he’s just leading you on, I’ll...”

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. I knew Emmett well enough to know that he would protect me like a brother.

“I’m sorry to lay all this on you, Emm, but you’re my friend and I need your advice. Apparently I have concussion and shouldn’t be left alone until I’m healed. Carlisle wants me to go stay at his place for a bit. I kind of freaked out in my head and didn’t answer right away; you know I’ve always lived alone. I don’t know how to live with someone else; having him stay at my place was comfortable, sort of my house, my rules. Anyhow, I didn’t answer him and now he’s acting really off, distant and strange.”

Emmett looked at me like I didn’t have two brain cells to rub together.

“Of course he is. He thinks you don’t want to, or you don’t trust him. If you are serious about this dude then you have to show him. He sounds as nervous as you are. Is he openly gay? Has he dated men before?”

“He told me in the hospital about a long term partner who passed away a few years ago. He’s been alone for a while now.”

“So this is his first relationship in quite a while, and with someone who usually dates women. Knock knock, Edward, see the problem here? Sounds to me like he’s terrified you’ll meet some gorgeous girl and realise that’s what you really want, leaving him heartbroken and alone again, feeling all used and spat out. He’s every bit as scared as you are. Plus he’s putting himself out there after having already lost someone he loved; losing someone else might be too much for him to cope with.”

He stared at the rug for a moment before looking directly at me.

“I cannot believe I’m saying this, but you need to tell him how you feel. If he makes you happy, and he’s what you want, he deserves to know.”

My mind spun. So help me, Emmett’s words made sense. Of course Carlisle wasn’t trying to control or (worse still) parent me. He had come close to losing someone he cared about, and now simply wanted to protect me. I remembered how his face had tightened when I told him about the crash; I had overlooked how terrified and helpless he must have felt just standing on the sidelines, unable to do his job, unable to help in any way.

_He must have been going out of his mind. I am so fucking stupid._

Emmett left me to think for a minute, stepping out of the room to grab a couple of bottles of water. When he walked back in, supping from his bottle, he posed a valid question.

“What the fuck are you going to do about all this Lauren business?”

I took the bottle and cracked open the seal.

“Obviously Lauren’s pissed, and with good reason. I don’t remember sleeping with Carlisle, and I don’t know for sure that I didn’t sleep with her, so she’s playing games with me. She must have found out somehow; Carlisle knows the whole story, I’m just several paces behind.”

“How the hell can she have found out though? Do you reckon he told her? It’s not like she could walk in on you or anything, is it. Boy, seeing her dad having sex; wouldn’t _that_ scar her for life.”

“No, she didn’t see anything, but her timing was impeccable.” I stopped dead.

_Oh. My. God._

 “But you said...”

I dragged my eyes up to Emmett’s startled ones. My voice came from far away.

“I tried to end it with both of them when I found out who they were. Oh shit, Oh _shit._ Carlisle told me to leave, but then later he rang me and came over to sort it out. He said he didn’t care, that he wanted to be with me.”

Doors were opening in my mind, pictures leaking out of each, the memories muddled and confused, not making complete sense, but they were _there._

_Carlisle waiting for me outside the bar..._

_Touching him for the first time..._

_Lauren telling me to stay away from him..._

_Making love to him in my bed..._

My breathing faltered as that memory arose, pure and clear, the emotion around it overwhelming me.

Emmett looked at me worriedly as I laughed, even as a tear of happiness slid down my face. Wiping my face, I grinned at Emmett.

“I promise I’ll explain later, when I get it all straight in my head, but right now I need to go home and pack.”

Emmett grinned.

“Sounds like a plan, dude. Let me get my keys.”

Waiting for him, I shook my head in disbelief. I had almost let my head talk my heart out of what I wanted. Emmett reappeared, clutching his keys and I followed him out to the Jeep.

“So, are you going to tell me about Rosalie? Have you two had a chance to meet up yet?”

His smile broadened and I swear I saw a blush.

“Tonight. I used my contacts and got tickets to the Florence and the Machine gig. In the hospital Alice said they were Rose’s favourite, but that she’d not been able to get tickets. Hope she likes it.”

“You have told her you’re going too, right? You’re not just giving her the tickets so she can take Alice instead?”

“Ha ha, very funny! That only ever happened once, so let it go! I’ve arranged to pick her up and we’ll drive there – she has no idea where we’re going! Should be a great first date.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “First dates are pretty magical.”  My smile was so wide I couldn’t even begin to control it.

Arriving home, I packed some clean clothes and essentials into an old sports bag, adding in my favourite books. If I was going to be resting, I needed something reassuring to read. Emmett looked at me as he stood in the doorway to my room.

“Dude, are you sure? I’m just checking.”

I zipped up the bag.

“Yeah, I really am. You okay to give me a ride?”

“Sure, anything to keep my bar staff happy.” I gave him a pointed look and he laughed unashamedly. “Talking of that, I’ve got you covered until you’re ready to come back. Just let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Emm. Once I’ve got the all clear I’ll be back to work. I’m kind of missing it – I like the routine.”

“Just enjoy the break and get better. At least I’ll know you’re in good hands with Dr Cullen.”

I grinned wolfishly.

“Oh _very_ good hands.” I winked.

We drove across town until the neighbourhood started to look familiar. I didn’t have the address, but I remembered the woods nearby, and soon we were pulling up outside his house. I lifted my bag from the back seat and turned to Emmett.

“Thanks, man. I owe you one for all this. Say hi to Rosalie for me – hope you guys have a great date and who knows; maybe we can all get together soon. Rose, Alice and Carlisle are great friends so should be easy to arrange if everything goes well. I know Carlisle wants to make sure you’re good enough for her.”

“Yeah yeah. Later, dude.”

As I walked toward the house I pulled out my phone and dialled Carlisle’s number, waiting for him to pick up.

“So, is it still ok for me to stay?”

“Of course!” He sounded so happy. “Do you need me to come pick you up?”

As he spoke I rang the doorbell, and heard him apologise.

“Someone’s at the door. Don’t go anywhere.”

As he opened the door, I answered him,

“Where else would I go? Carlisle, I remember. I remember everything.”

His smile could have illuminated the city. As I kissed him, I heard the Jeep pull away.

**~xxXxx~**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my wonderful pre readers who do an excellent job not killing me if I’m late updating.
> 
> I own nothing except fictional concert tickets, but keep that quiet as Emmett doesn’t know.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	8. Chapter 8

**CPOV**

Unable to settle, I gathered up laundry and loaded the machine. I checked my messages yet again.

_He’s with Emmett. Stop worrying._

My stomach growled, reminding me that it was almost lunchtime. I sighed and went to fix a snack, not really caring what I ate.

_I pushed too hard. I should have just asked if I could check in on him, or maybe let him stay with Emmett. I fucked up._

Carrying my cup of tea, I drifted into the living room and switched on some soothing music, closing my eyes to try and somehow force my mind to relax.

The phone rang; the tone was loud and shrill against the soft strains of Debussy. My eyes snapped wide open and I grabbed it from the table with undue haste. Immediately my eyes went to the name on the display.

“Edward?”

“So, is it still ok for me to stay?”

My shoulders sagged with relief. _Thank you, Emmett, for whatever you said to him._

“Of course! Do you need me to come pick you up?”

The doorbell chimed and I cursed inwardly. _Not now._

“Someone’s at the door. Don’t go anywhere.”

Ready to lambaste whoever it was at the door keeping me from Edward, I wrenched it open. And there he was, smiling at me hopefully, his hair like copper fire in the sunlight.

“Where else would I go?” His smile made me weak. “Carlisle, I remember. I remember everything.”

~xxXxx~

When he dropped his bag and kissed me, I swear I heard Alice saying _‘Told you so!’_ in my head. As we stood kissing in the doorway, I heard the sound of his ride pulling away and looked up to see Emmett smiling at me, throwing me a cheery salute as he drove off.

Almost pulling Edward inside the door, I resisted the urge to pin him against the wall, instead grabbing his bag from the step and dropping it in the hallway. He looked around.

“It’s good to be back. The last time I was here things got a little ugly.” I winced, remembering only too well. Listening to the music drifting through from the open living room door, he ran his hand through his hair.

“I love this piece.”

“So do I. Do you play it?”

“Yeah, it’s a favourite. I learned it when I was a kid. It ... uhm... soothes me.” He sounded almost embarrassed, but having seen and heard his talent I knew that he was just being modest. I made a mental note to have him play for me again soon, although I now knew it would need to be somewhere private as I was powerless to resist him when he bared his soul through his music. 

He made his way through and sat on the couch, eyeing my half-finished cup of tea and discarded apple.

“Any chance I can get one of those?” He pointed to the tea.

I nodded, retrieving my cup and making my way through to the kitchen. He followed me,   commenting on the way.

 “I didn’t think you drank tea – I thought you were a coffee man.”

I chuckled. “In the mornings and at work I need the jolt, but at home I need to unwind. What would you like: Lapsang Souchong, Earl Grey or English breakfast?”

He blinked. “There’s a difference?”

I laughed at his expression, his frown causing adorable little furrows between his eyes.

“Yes, indeed there is! I’ll fix you a cup of English breakfast.” As I poured two fresh cups I saw him watching me intently out of the corner of my eye. I raised a questioning eyebrow, not looking at him. “What?”

He blushed. “Nothing... just remembering, that’s all.”

Putting down the kettle, I turned to him then, crossing the small space to reach out and clasp his arms, running my hands up and over his shoulders, feeling the firm muscles beneath.

“Just hearing you say that makes me so happy for you, and for us. How did it happen?”

He closed his eyes tightly for a moment, not breathing, before looking at me again, exhaling hard.

“Something Emmett said... about Lauren. He made a comment about her walking in on us – he didn’t know about that – and suddenly I was telling him about it. I’m still a little muddled, but,” he shrugged, “everything appears to be there. But most importantly,” his hand splayed over my neck, his thumb lightly caressing along my jawbone, “I remember meeting you and coming back here. I had never wanted anyone more than I wanted you. It was the best night of my life; I can finally tell you that. You changed my life that night.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Hearing him say the words that I myself wanted so badly to express made me light headed. He breathed deep before continuing.

“We’ve been through more in eight days than most couples should ever have to face. It feels like I’ve known you for months; we just ... fit. It’s so easy with you and I think that was what scared me when I was trying to remember us. How we hadn’t even dated, and yet it felt so familiar, so right. I don’t know if you understand what I’m trying to say.”

I nodded.

“I think I do.” My voice sounded rough, and I took a second to find the words, to share them with him.

“When you were brought into that hospital and Emmett told me who you were, I thought I was drowning. I-I couldn’t find a way to anchor myself to you; I wasn’t your doctor, I couldn’t help...” My fists clenched involuntarily. “I just had to stand on the sidelines while Alice and Rose kept me informed about your condition.I was so _useless,_ overwhelmed with fear...”

My voice tailed off and I forced myself to continue. “I thought I was going to lose you, and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it!” I choked, my emotions building; tears threatened as I unwillingly relived my night of personal hell. I felt his warm hands cradle my head against his, our foreheads touching as I struggled to hold myself together.

“And you’ve been dealing with this all on your own? Carlisle, you don’t always have to be the strong one. It’s okay to ask for help.”

He pulled me close and I relaxed into him, my tears of relief soaking his shoulder as my walls finally crumbled, safe in his arms.

~xxXxx~

When I had composed myself I stood at the window and drank my cooling tea. I could see Edward’s reflection behind my own; his arms holding me loosely round my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. Looking at us in the window, he asked me the easiest question anyone had ever asked me.

“So, shall I put my bag in your room or a guest room?”

“You really need to ask?”

“I hoped not, but it’s rude to assume.”

I chuckled. “Let’s get you unpacked.”

I picked up his bag and we climbed the stairs hand in hand until we reached my door. Pushing it open, I saw Edward smile contentedly.

“Now _this_ I remember.” He winked at me and I flushed with pleasure. Sitting down on the bed his green eyes shone, his voice both cajoling and bewitching.

“Can we just lie here for a little while? I know I need to rest like you said and I just want to be close to you.”   

“Anything for my favourite patient.” I kicked off my shoes and joined him on the bed, nestling my head into the pillow and holding out my arm. Edward crawled over to me on his hands and knees, laying down beside me and sliding my head onto his chest. His fingers slid into my hair and he played with the strands, running them through his fingers hypnotically. I could feel my eyes getting heavy as I slipped into a trance like state, lulled by his actions.

“Perfect,” he murmured, almost to himself.

I tilted my head back to look at him and he kissed my frown lines, his hand not stopping its movements as he continued talking.

“The first time I stayed here, I woke with you lying like this. I’d never felt so happy and so terrified at the same time.” I looked at him, confused, and he smiled. “I thought that maybe I was a one night stand and you’d forget me just as easily. Don’t worry; I know now I was totally wrong. But I just...”

When he paused, I shifted to face him fully.

I saw his internal struggle before he spoke again, not meeting my eyes, the words seeming difficult for him.

“I wanted you to know that I love you.” His eyes finally met and held mine.

“I love you, Carlisle.”

My breath left me in a whoosh as his words sank in, words I had longed to hear. Leaning in to brush my lips against his, I whispered simply,

“I love you more.”

His nose touched mine, his eyes speaking volumes as I knew mine did. When he finally spoke again, his voice was gruff.

“I want to make love to you, Carlisle, so very much. I need to be as close to you as I possibly can; I don’t care about concussion – I _need_ you.”

My heart rate sped up at the rawness of his plea. So help me, all I wanted to do was rip off my clothes and lie back, letting him fill me until I was incoherent with pleasure. Common sense had to join forces with my medical brain and step in and stop me before I complied with my fantasy right then and there.

“Soon, love, soon. Just a couple of days to recuperate and then, I promise you, I am all yours, however you want me.”

My voice shook a little, growing huskier as desire crept in. As I watched, his eyes darkened, the dark depths of his pupils eclipsing the green. His hand left my hair and moved tantalisingly slow until he was feeling my ass through my pants, kneading and massaging the flesh while pulling my body flush against his. Hitching my leg across his, he rested it over his thigh, giving his hand more room to manoeuvre as his fingers gripped and caressed the firm muscle. His hand slipped down, glancing over my balls firstly with a teasing touch and then a more deliberate caress. My body was responding rapidly; my shaft swelling and lengthening and I shifted uncomfortably even as I pushed back against his questing fingers. His nose nuzzled into my hair, his quiet words holding so much promise.

“Okay, so no exertion, I get that. But this isn’t physically demanding, is it? Just a harmless cuddle with the man I love?”

His rhythmic stroking felt so good that I was rocking into his hand in silent encouragement. His wicked whispers continued unabated.

“And, if I were to ask you to unbuckle your pants and slide them down, that wouldn’t over exert me either, so I think you should do that, don’t you?”

My shaking hands found my belt and zipper and I fumbled them open, kicking the fabric down my legs, my underwear tangled up inside. I resumed my position, my leg crooked over his. His warm hand stroked my bare skin, sending shivers up and down my spine. I hummed with pleasure as he sensually caressed my ass and thighs, avoiding my exposed and aching cock and balls. I was startled to feel his fingers flutter into my crease and I gasped aloud when he skimmed my hole, gliding away quickly. It was no accident however, as seconds later his fingertips ghosted over it again pausing just a fraction longer to circle the sensitive opening before he move to cup my balls, high and tight from his attentions.

“Edward...” I moaned, feeling certain he would touch my swollen cock at any moment and anticipating his firm grasp on my excited flesh.

When he stopped all movement I almost whimpered with disappointment. Looking at him I saw a crooked smirk flash across his face before he hid it, and I wondered exactly what his game was. He raised an eyebrow, his smile barely contained behind his mock serious expression.

“As I need to rest, I’m afraid that I can only lie here. That leaves you in a bit of a predicament, doesn’t it? So what if I was to slide down this bed a little, get nice and comfortable, and open my mouth? Do you think you could use it for your own means? I hate to see you all frustrated.” His grin almost broke and he bit his lip to hide it before he continued.

“And I’m pretty sure it would mean minimal exertion for me. After all, I’m following doctor’s orders.”

Leaning over him I saw his eyes dancing with mischief as he stared up at me.

“Well, Edward, if you want me to fuck that dirty little mouth of yours I think I need to clean it thoroughly first.” My lips crushed his, our tongues each reaching out blindly to the other as I pinned him to the pillow in my desire. Hearing his low moan, I silently chalked up a point to me in this game of tease. As soon as the kiss broke he winked at me and slid down the bed until his face was level with my aching cock. Then, as promised, he opened his mouth, curling his tongue suggestively.

Reaching over, I grabbed my pillow and placed it under his head and neck before touching the tip of my cock to his parted lips, painting a trail of pre come all around them like lip gloss. I watched his tongue flicker out to taste and I pulled back and waited. When he opened his mouth wider, I sank my cock a little at a time into the warm, wet cavern so eagerly presented to me. Stroking along the roof of his mouth, I edged slowly deeper. I watched him resist the urge to suck, allowing me into the opening of his throat, gagging slightly at the intrusion. I pulled back before slipping in again, gliding over his tongue and farther down. This time he knew what to expect and swallowed around me.  

_My boy’s a fast learner!_

I started to thrust, gently at first, into his welcoming warmth, building up to a more demanding rhythm as my need to possess him took over. I felt the sweat bead on my forehead as I forced myself to control my movements, to not hurt him in my eagerness. My hands gripped the bed head tightly, and in my haze I barely registered the click until I felt wet fingers circling my hole, one pressing into me, penetrating the tight ring of muscle. The shock of pleasure was so unexpected that I faltered in my movements, shuddering as a second finger slid in taking full advantage of my distracted state. As he started to pump his fingers into my tightness I let my body take over, fucking his eager mouth with abandon, until his questing digits danced across my gland repeatedly as he enjoyed my laboured gasps of ecstasy. The combination of his talented fingers and hot mouth was too much and I barely had time to warn him before I pulled out and came all over his neck and chest, one last weak jet landing on his cheek and sliding down like a silvery tear.

His fingers slipped out of my ass and I all but collapsed next to him, kissing him gratefully, tasting my own come on his lips. He returned the kiss with fervour, pressing his erection into my stomach and reminding me that he was as yet unsatisfied, having put my pleasure before his own. He ripped off his shirt, unfastening his pants with indecent haste as I pulled them from his body. Kissing my way down his chest, I ran my nails down his sides, loving the way his body juddered under my hands, his cock jerking pleadingly toward me. I ignored it, instead sucking his turgid nipple into my mouth whilst my forefinger and thumb pinched its twin, my teeth grazing along his stiffened peak as I enjoyed his muffled grunts. Looking up I saw the cords stand out in his neck as he gritted his teeth, his whole body tensing. My tongue painted a trail down to his heaving stomach, tracing the definition I found there, until I reached his twitching cock, a pool of fluid already forming beneath it.

When I parted his thighs, I heard him grit his teeth as he fought to maintain control.

“Carlisle, please, I need your mouth on me...” His words were cut off by a guttural groan of appreciation as I engulfed him in my mouth. Gathering some of his copious fluid, I applied a feather light touch to his twitching entrance. It opened to me willingly and a fingertip slipped inside, just enough to trigger hot sparks of pleasure to spike under his skin. As I sucked him hard, I worked my finger in and out until Edward’s foot was paddling the sheet, his hips thrusting up to meet me as he neared the point of no return. My finger circled and glanced his sweet spot, once, twice... his desperate cries grew louder, almost animalistic in their intensity as my tongue swirled around his cock head, focusing on the pleasure point just underneath.

“Can’t... hold... on...” he rasped, and one last stroke of my finger over his gland elicited a cry of surrender as he exploded in my mouth, his cock jerking long after he had emptied his balls into my throat.

As I sprawled next to him, both of us replete, he stared earnestly into my eyes.

“I don’t know how I could ever have forgotten that, but I’ll tell you this much – the next time I come I want to be buried in your ass.”

Goosebumps flared across my skin at his verbalisation of my thoughts.

“Yes, Edward. Oh God, yes.”

~xxXxx~

We lay there for a couple of hours, not talking, just holding each other close. While Edward slept, I went over my plans to take him shopping that afternoon. I had had an idea and I hoped he would be as keen as I, although I strongly suspected some heavy duty persuasion may be required on my part. I already knew that Edward didn’t like anything he considered ‘charity’, but this would be as much for me as it was for him.

Ever since hearing him play Irina’s piano, I had been obsessed with hearing him play again. I had looked into local piano rentals and found a place that both rented and sold second hand.

_He’s only staying here a couple of days._

The little voice in my head nagged at me. I knew that he hadn’t initially wanted to stay but thankfully had changed his mind. I knew there was room in my house for a piano and I hoped that Edward would want to play. I couldn’t deny that I also hoped it meant that he would stay over too.

I felt him stir, his head rolling back toward me. His bruise was now a rainbow of colours, the purple having given way to greens and dirty yellows, the wound healing well.

After we had cleaned up and had a bite to eat, I drove us to the store I had tracked down that morning after I dropped Edward at Emmett’s. Anticipation mixed uneasily with my butterflies as I parked down the street so as not to spoil the surprise. We walked slowly, Edward’s interest piqued when I wouldn’t say where we were going. As we approached the store he displayed no recognition until he saw the sign outside; he froze, staring first at the lettering and then at me, uncomprehendingly. I tugged his hand gently, pulling him to the door to look inside at the variety of instruments displayed within.

“But... what?” His face was perplexed, his hand in his hair. “Carlisle, what are we doing here?”

“You said your mom used to rent a piano for you to practice. I thought that was a great idea, and after hearing you play at the restaurant...” I watched his face as he blinked and swallowed hard. “You have to be able to play, Edward. You have such a gift, and I for one, need to hear your music.”

“But – I have nowhere to put a piano.” His face was full of longing, tinged with sadness. He shook his head. “It’s a dream, Carlisle, nothing more, a glimpse into what I can’t have.”

“But you _can_ have it, my love. I have plenty of space, and you are welcome to come and play as often as you want, whenever you want.”

“But our work schedules... I work evenings, so when I’m home you’ll be at the hospital. It’d be like showing a kid a new toy and then locking it in the shed. When would I get to play it?”

I reached over and stroked his face, smiling.

“You’ll have a key. It will never be locked away out of your reach. Now, I called ahead and booked an appointment so shall we go in and take a look?”

He was silent for the longest moment and then he nodded. I let him open the door, entering the grand store that smelled of wood and polish. I listened to him as he discussed the merits of each of the second hand models, the vibrancy of their tone and the quality of the craftsmanship. The owner took his time, encouraging Edward to sit at those he favoured, to try them and see which suited him. He played snippets of music on each one, enough to make me want to hear much more. I noticed that he had returned to the same one three times and was stroking the wood longingly, but had yet to enquire about the price. I drifted over to his side and whispered,

“Is this the one?”

He swallowed thickly, nodding silently. Approaching the owner, I made discreet enquiries as to the rental costs and the duration of the maximum permissible period. The man was very helpful and accommodating, giving me a month’s trial rental at a very affordable price. I also asked if the piano could be purchased should it prove suitable. The price was steep, but not unreasonable, and I promised to get back to him before the rental period expired. After arranging delivery, I turned back to Edward who was completely absorbed, playing quietly amongst the beams of late afternoon sunlight filtering through the side windows, and my heart clenched with a love I had never again expected to feel.

When we back in the car and heading home, Edward spoke.

“I want to pay for it. I make enough to cover the rental, I think.”

Perhaps he did, perhaps he didn’t, but I knew that arguing would be fruitless. I had persuaded him to keep it at my house, and so if he wanted to pay then I had to let him, for the sake of his pride.

“Alright - it’s a deal.”

He looked surprised, as if worried I would insist on paying.

“I do have one stipulation though. Let me cover the first month’s rent, and then you can take over.” Seeing him about to argue, I held up my hand. “Hear me out. You need a car, and I suspect you need that more urgently at this point in time. Put the money toward that and get yourself mobile. Deal?”

He smiled ruefully.

“I guess you’re right. As soon as I’m allowed to drive I’ll get Emmett, and we’ll go car shopping. No point having a piano if I can’t get to it in the first place, huh.”

I chuckled.

“Absolutely; so, the piano is being delivered on Saturday, and so that gives us a couple of days to fill until then. How do you feel about a trip on the boat?”

His eyes widened. “Seriously?”

I laughed at his excitement.

“Seriously! Let’s pack a few essentials and go away for a day or two. We can stay out if you’d like to. Sleeping on a boat is so restful – plus we can go further out if we don’t have to get back for nightfall.”

His face shone like a child’s. He turned to me excitedly.

“Can we go to the bar tonight? Please? I want you to meet Emmett properly when you’re both not worrying about me.” His grin lit his face. “And if we go now it won’t be too busy...” his voice was cajoling and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sure we can. But you have to tell me if you get any headaches or pain, okay? Promise me?”

His face was serious for a moment.

“I promise. Now, you do realise that it’s Wednesday night and, traditionally, this means we should be spending the evening lusting after each other across a crowded room?”

Slowing at the lights, I looked over at him.

“Oh, I’ll still be lusting after you, I can guarantee you that.”

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

Truth be told, I was stunned when Carlisle rented the piano. Just when I thought he couldn’t get any more perfect he upped the ante once again.

But I couldn’t take his money. It wasn’t right. Somehow, between the rent on the apartment, buying a car and day to day living, I would find a way to pay for it. Just having it housed at Carlisle’s place was almost too much to accept; I wouldn’t take advantage of him like that. It wasn’t my style.

I was excited that he and Emmett were finally going to meet properly; my best friend and my boyfriend, both equally important to me in their own ways. I hoped that they would bond as I needed them both so much.

The parking area at McCarty’s was quiet, and Carlisle nosed the Mercedes into a spot across from the doors. As he killed the engine I looked over at him.

“Nervous?”

He let out a half laugh. “Little bit, yeah.”

“You’ll be fine. Emm is protective, but he knows you already and trusts you. You should be safe enough.” I laughed dryly. As we walked in he excused himself and went off to the downstairs bathroom, leaving me to go find my friends. As usual it was too early for the crowds and so Riley was alone, wiping down the bar top as I walked over.

“How’s it hanging, Rile?”

His face split into a grin as he looked over and saw me.

“Edward! Man, is it good to see you! You’re not here to work, are you?”

I shook my head.

“Not quite yet, but soon hopefully.” I looked around and spotted a group of regulars and in the far corner a group of girls who appeared to be staring at Riley and plucking up the courage to speak to him. I pulled up a stool and ordered a soft drink.

“No Emmett tonight?”

“Oh, he’s here! He’s out back doing the books until it gets busy later. Want me to give him a shout?”

I smiled. “In a minute, Riley – I’m just waiting for someone.”

He slid over my juice and I took a sip, turning just in time to see a stunning brunette pulling out the stool next to me.

I smiled at her as she blatantly ogled me, her eyes sweeping over me like a Geiger counter over a radiation leak.

“Are you waiting for me? I’m Tina. Say, don’t you usually work the bar here? You shouldn’t be all on your lonesome. If you’d like some company then I’m right here.”

She fingered the stem of her wineglass in an overtly sexual gesture, and I raised an eyebrow at her blatant proposition. She couldn’t be more than 18 or 19, and very aware of her beauty. Her long, tanned legs were crossed and her short, pink dress scarcely kissed her thighs. Her breasts were barely concealed and, although I found them visually appealing, I had no interest in taking her home with me, which was clearly what she was angling for.

One thing working a bar had taught me was that women were suckers for a bartender. I had no idea why, but it had worked in my favour on many an occasion. Unfortunately for her, this time I had no interest in what she was offering.

“Uh, sorry, sweetheart, but I’m with someone so this really isn’t appropriate. You seem like a really sweet girl and it’s a pleasure to meet you, but I’m spoken for.”

I naively expected her to leave and return to her friends, but to my surprise she stayed, her hand straying to my wrist, her thumb rubbing circles over my pulse point. Not wanting to appear indecorous, I gently stilled her hand and removed mine from the bar. She really wasn’t getting the hint, and I was becoming a little annoyed.

“Please, I said I’m waiting for someone.” I kept my smile in place.

I looked over to Riley and nodded to the back room. He understood my gesture and disappeared to fetch Emmett from the office.

Tina’s hand had now strayed onto my thigh, and I knew I had to put a stop to this right now, but I was loath to make a scene where I worked. I gripped her wrist tightly and removed her hand and she frowned, leaning in to me.

“I could make you want me, baby,” she purred into my ear. “I could make you forget all about that other guy and turn you back to girls. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll make you forget your own name.”

As she was speaking, all I could see was Carlisle, the touch of him, the taste of him, his voice and his smile.

_Oh sweetheart, you are so wasting your time here. That man owns me til the end of time. Wait a minute – how does she know about Carlisle? Has she seen us out together? Well, it won’t matter in a minute or two._

Emmett appeared and took in the scene before him with a frown.

“Dude, can I talk to you for a minute?”

I nodded, standing up from the stool.

“Sorry, Tina, this is business.”

Her face clouded and I could have sworn I heard her mutter “pussy” under her breath. I could hear the whispers from the girls in the corner of the room, and I wondered if I had been the subject of a bet or a dare. Clearly Tina would be paying the forfeit if that was the case.

Moving to the far end of the bar, Emmett stepped out from behind the mahogany.

“Ed, you do know that girl is a friend of Lauren’s, right?” 

“Are you sure?” I was taken aback and starting to realise where Tina had gotten her information.

“They’ve been here every night so far this week, the nights you usually work. I didn’t know they were in already tonight. If you’d called I could’ve warned you.”

“I didn’t think. I wanted you and Carlisle to meet properly, away from the hospital and so this was a spur of the moment thing. He’ll be here in a second, he’s just downstairs.”

Emmett grinned. “Sure, I’d love to shake the hand of the man who makes my friend smile like that. You do know that your whole face lights up when you say his name? It’s kinda cute, in a manly way of course.”

I cuffed him playfully. “So can you spare a few minutes from your hectic schedule to have just one drink with us?”

“You bet. By the way, have you told Riley yet? I think you’re going to shock that poor boy.”

I shook my head.

“I’ll be gentle with him, I promise. I’ve just got him working my way; I can’t be doing with having to train someone else!”

Emmett’s loud laugh echoed around the room and he went back behind the bar. As I returned to my seat, to my dismay, Tina tried one last time to seduce me. If anything, her dress was now even lower over her perky breasts and she pushed her arms together to emphasise them as she leaned in to me, her cloying perfume clogging my nose.

“Are you sure I can’t tempt you?” Her face suddenly dropped as lips pressed against my uninjured temple, a warm hand clasping mine. I turned to him like a plant to sunlight, smiling up at him as he pulled over a seat, never letting go of my hand.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Riley’s expression which, in a different time and place, would have been truly comical.

Tina’s eyes flitted from one to the other, her lips moving but nothing coming out.

But then the ball dropped.

“She never said you were with _him_! She said you were telling yourself you were gay now and playing around with some guy, but she never said who it was!Oh, this is priceless!”

Carlisle looked up from ordering his drink. I heard the whispering grow louder from the corner of the room and I turned to see Lauren, now visible without her wall of friends for protection. Her face was ashen, and at that moment I realised that her plan all along was to try and make me cheat on Carlisle, or better still, leave him. That way her friends would never find out who I left her for and her precious reputation would still be intact.

_She set me up_ again _. No wonder she’s here so often; she’s been biding her time until I showed up, but she got more than she bargained for when Carlisle came with me. And now her friends all know the truth. I’m sorry, Lauren, but this is for keeps. You need to come to terms with that._

I saw that Carlisle was upset, but there was nothing I could say to make him feel any better. In trying to hurt me, she had succeeded in hurting both her father and herself instead, and now the truth had finally been exposed to her little pack; those girls had been scenting the air like wolves just waiting for the full story to break.

 I could hear the childish taunts already coming from the table, despite their ages, and with a sob Lauren scraped back her chair and made for the door. Before she reached it, however, a voice called out from the pack:

“Hey, Lauren, what’s it like having two daddies now? Do you get twice the pocket money?”

She turned to look at me and I jumped down from the stool to go after her, catching up with her as she stepped outside. She spun to face me, her eyes unrepentant, even in defeat.

 “I just don’t understand how you could do this to me, after all we meant to each other! I thought you loved me, Edward!”

“I cared about you, Lauren, I still do. But the lying has to stop now.”

“But we slept together!” Her voice was smug as she threw what she assumed was a fait accompli in my face.

“No, we didn’t! Just admit it, Lauren!”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you - me letting you off the hook to go and screw my dad? Well it doesn’t change the facts, Edward. You slept with me and now my period is late, so who’s lying now?”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“Then you need to see a doctor, sweetheart.” Carlisle’s voice came from the dark doorway behind us. Would you like me to take you to the hospital and run a sonogram? We can soon sort this whole mess out.”

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my pre readers who do an excellent job each chapter.
> 
> I own nothing except Edward’s dirty mind, but Carlisle loves it so that’s okay! 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	9. Chapter 9

**EPOV**

My head turned at the sound of his voice, Lauren’s gasp clearly audible as her head shot round to look at her father.

“Daddy, I -”

“How badly do you want to hurt me, sweetheart? Is breaking my heart the price for my loving Edward? Are you punishing me – is that what this is?”

Lauren’s eyes were wild, her face whiter than chalk as she took in her father’s words and the sadness in his eyes.

“Daddy, I don’t want to hurt you! Look, okay, so I didn’t sleep with Edward. Are you happy? I lied. There – I said it.”

Carlisle’s eyes closed, his head falling forward as he breathed deep, his hands on his hips. When he looked up again, his eyes found mine first before flitting back to his daughter.

“Thank you for finally telling the truth. Edward and I already knew, but we needed to hear it from you.”

Her wide eyes flicked from Carlisle to me and back again, finally settling on me.

“You knew? For how long?” She seemed to sag under the weight of this revelation, her confusion evident.

I shrugged. “Does it really matter? The main thing is that I have my memories back. I know truth from fiction and I hope, I really hope, that this is over now, Lauren. Please let your father and I be happy – I’m begging you.”

I watched the fight draining out of her as her eyes dulled. Instinctively, I reached for her, intending to offer comfort but she backed away before I could reach her. I looked at Carlisle and stepped back. Holding out his arms he held his little girl as she clung to him, her face buried in his shirt. I heard her mumble over and over again, “I’m sorry, daddy.”

I breathed a silent sigh of relief that our world could finally get back on track – we were free to move forward at last. Carlisle spoke quietly.

“Edward, I’m going to take her home. Are you okay to stay here until I get back?” I nodded.

 “Of course; I’ll be here when you’re all done.”

He smiled sadly, helping Lauren over to the car and opening the door for her. I watched him, feeling the weight of his heart as this whole mess finally ended. When their taillights disappeared, I headed back inside to find Emmett chastising the pack of girls about their conduct.

“I do _not_ tolerate bullying of any kind in my bar. If I hear of anything like that happening again you will all be barred. Do. You. Understand?”

They nodded meekly, intimidated by the big, angry bar owner, so rarely seen out from behind the bar unless there was trouble. I looked over briefly as Emmett strode back toward me, and they all averted their eyes. _What a difference a warning made_. Quite oddly, after all the drama, I felt like giggling. When Emm saw me he motioned me through to the back room.

“So, what happened out there, dude? Where’s Lauren?”

“Carlisle’s taken her home. She cracked, Emm, and admitted she was lying. But not before claiming to be pregnant, though.”

Emmett’s eyes bulged. “But you didn’t...?”

“No, I didn’t. She just wanted to try one last time to break up Carlisle and me. I feel bad for her; she’s going to have it rough at school with those barracudas out there. Some of them either don’t know or don’t remember that her dad was in a long term relationship with a man for years, and so she’s now getting grief about having two daddies as if it’s an entirely new situation. It’s ironic, considering how much she adored Marcus when he was alive. She told me so.”

“Dude, she’s messed up. I hope that she can start to get past this for both their sakes.”

I nodded. “So do I.”

Eyeing him closely, I noticed his eyes were a little brighter than normal and he appeared jittery. Then I remembered our conversation in the jeep that morning.

“What time are you meeting Rosalie?” Colour bloomed in his cheeks.

“At eight.” He checked his watch. “I’m so nervous! I really like her, Ed. She’s incredible, amazing... gorgeous! Oh man, two hours to go... I should get home and change.”

I laughed, knowing Emmett well.

“Why? Your outfit is clean, pressed and laid out ready. All you need is a shower and shave. Half an hour, tops.”

He shrugged, unable to dispute my accurate assessment.

“Well, it’s a concert so it’s casual dress. I told her when I rang not to choose anything formal. Not on _this_ date at any rate.” He started bouncing on his toes, his excitement palpable. “Man, I am so pumped.”

“I couldn’t tell...” I muttered dryly, smirking as I caught his eye.

“Oh, and I bet you weren’t nervous before your first date with the dashing doctor?” He grinned victoriously.

“That was different! But, I will say that the second date is shaping up to be even more awesome.” The smile spread across my face, gloriously unrestrained. “Carlisle has a boat, and we’re going sailing for a couple of days. And this afternoon we rented a piano for his place so I can play whenever I want.”

Emmett gave me a silent, lingering look.

“A piano? Wow. Was this his idea because, dude, that’s one big gesture right there.”

I frowned, his serious expression slightly disconcerting.

“Yeah, it was his idea. He booked the appointment as a surprise and took me there to choose the one I wanted. It’s a good thing he has lots of space.”

“Yeah it is. He must really be serious about you.”

“He is; he loves me and I love him. It’s crazy, but it feels like I’ve known him for months. We had a pretty intensive start, after all.”

Emmett was quiet for a moment, his thumbnail tracing a scratch in the table leg. “How long did you say you were staying at his place for?”

“Just a few days to make sure I don’t have any more pain episodes. Then I can go home and get back to work.”

His wrist resting on his thigh, he slapped his palm down decisively. “That’s great! We’ve missed you around here.” He looked as if he wanted to add something to that, but stopped himself. “I guess it will be good to get back to your own place and get a sense of normality and routine back in your life. It’ll be like coming home from a holiday. Apart from the accident part, that is.”

I laughed. “Yeah – you’re right about that! Of course, Carlisle and I will be able to see each other on weekends and any free evenings where we’re both not working.” Emmett’s eyes widened meaningfully. “After my shift has finished, of course! His shifts are changeable, so it’s going to be a little more difficult but, like I said, there’s always weekends. Well, Sundays at least.”

Emmett looked confused.

“He sees Lauren on Saturdays.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah. But hopefully we’ll get the evening to ourselves afterward.”

“Sounds like you’re not going to be seeing each other much. I’d make the most of the next couple of days if I were you.”

“I intend to, believe me. I miss him when he leaves the room, so being apart for possibly days at a time is going to be one hell of a challenge.”

Emmett didn’t comment and I suspected he was thinking about his date in (I checked my watch) a little under ninety minutes now. We decided on discussion topics for his date in case things hit a lull; Riley brought me a juice and I downed it gratefully. A few moments later he returned, this time with Carlisle behind him. I felt a shift in the air when he appeared, my body recognising his approach and calling to him. I tried not to think about how insane it was that I wanted to touch him every minute of the day, even if it was just to brush his fingers with mine as I passed him in a room.

He saw me and took the empty chair, his hand seeking mine, our fingers clasping.

“How did it go?” I asked, sotto voce.

He sighed. “She was quiet on the drive back. I had words with Esme – she had no idea how out of hand this had gotten. Lauren’s been covering her tracks well. I love my daughter but, my god, she pushes my buttons. I never thought I’d see this side of her, ever.”

I rubbed my thumb across his in a reassuring gesture.

“I think she has surprised us all. And I take responsibility for it – let’s face it, I am the main contributory factor in all this.”

He shook his head stiffly. “It’s not your fault, Edward. I approached _you;_ let’s not try to lay blame. I don’t regret what I did.” The slight blush on his cheek made me badly want to kiss him but I held back, conscious of Emmett nearby. Instead I raised our clasped hands to my lips and kissed the back of his knuckles, my eyes locked to his.

After a long, perfect moment he drew breath and broke the gaze, turning to Emmett.

“So, Emmett – I hear you’re going on a date tonight with Rosalie. I hope your intentions are honourable?”

Emmett paled a little until he saw the slight smile playing around Carlisle’s lips.

“I really like her, Carlisle, and I’m hoping she really likes me too.”

Carlisle leaned over and put his hand on Emmett’s shoulder. “She deserves a good man. Be that for her and we’ll have no problems.”

Emmett grinned. “Yes, sir.”

We left shortly after that, Carlisle and Emmett chatting like old friends. I felt a wave of warmth watching those two bond so easily, both relaxed and comfortable in each other’s presence. As we walked, Carlisle suggested the four of us get together in the near future, maybe go out for drinks or a home cooked meal at his place if Emmett liked the idea.

I watched Emmett gulp. “Let’s hope tonight goes okay first. Oh god, not long now. I better get home.”

Carlisle chuckled and slapped him on the back.

“It’ll be fine, trust me. Have faith - everything will work out.”

As we all left the building, I turned to Emm. “She’ll be putty when you turn on the McCarty charm. It’s never failed before, has it?”

He looked worried rather than reassured as he kicked the dirt, his thumbs in his belt loops. His body language screamed insecurity.

“I don’t want a one night stand, Ed. You know me; I want more than that with Rosalie.” His eyes found me. “I want what you and Carlisle have.”

I was overwhelmed with affection for him in that moment.

As we closed the car doors, Carlisle turned to me with a grin.

“Let’s go home and pack for tomorrow; we can make an early start.”

I returned his smile with a playful one of my own. “Well, you needn’t pack.”

He looked confused. I leaned in, my nose brushing his ear.

“I intend on keeping you naked as much as possible.” I heard his breath hitch at my intention. “Do you have a problem with that?”

He hummed his response. When the tip of my tongue tickled his ear he jerked, gasping with pleasure.

“I thought not. So – let’s go home and get started on our non-packing.”

~xxXxx~

The morning dawned clear and we were up very early and dressed quickly, Carlisle drinking his customary coffee as I drained a glass of OJ. Our bags were by the door and I was buzzing with excitement. The cups rinsed, he grabbed his keys, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Shall we?”

We hurried out of the door and headed out to the car, throwing our bags on the back seat. In the distance I vaguely heard the ringing of a telephone, but then we were off en route for our private getaway. With it being early morning, the traffic was light and in no time we pulled up at the marina. Carlisle parked in the private parking area and pointed to a beautiful cruiser that sat gleaming in the early morning light. It looked totally out of place amongst the smaller craft and I thought for a moment that he was joking; whatever it was that I had envisioned for Carlisle’s baby, this was totally not it.

“I thought you said you bought it cheap and fixed it up? I expected... well, I don’t know exactly, but... Wow.”

He smiled. “The previous owners had a party on board and there was a fire. No one was hurt, but she was badly damaged. Like I said, I bought her cheaply from the insurance company and spent my time fixing her up. I had little else to do, and she became my project. I had some help of course – I’m no carpenter, or electrician for that matter! But she was worth the time. Now she’s kitted out exactly to my own personal specifications. Come and see!”

Carrying our bags, he locked the Mercedes and led me down to the jetty. I could see the happiness on his face and I remembered that this was his escape after his bereavement – his happy place.

Across the stern, inscribed in elegant script, was the name, _‘New Beginnings’_.

He unlocked the doors, deactivated the alarm system, and led me down the stairs and inside. It was beautiful, and much like a smaller version of his home. Polished wood shone in the lounge area and kitchen and, as I followed him through, I saw a remarkably spacious, yet compact, bathroom and finally, downstairs, the bedroom.

A large bed stood in the centre, dressed in shades of purple and teal. There was a wardrobe on the far side, and large mirrors on the walls, ostensibly to maximise the light from the windows opposite. I stood and stared for a few moments, just trying to take it all in.

When I turned my head to face him, he was leaning casually against the door frame, watching me.

“The mirrors are a nice touch. Something you want to tell me, Dr Cullen? Are you a kinky old man on the quiet?” I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

He walked forward and grabbed me round the waist, nuzzling my neck.

“Well, I wasn’t until I met you.”

“Is that right? So the mirrors are just to ‘add light’ are they?” I was giggling as I made air quotes in front of his face to make my point. His only response was to lightly bite my neck, my laughter tailing off into a shudder.

“Well, that _was_ my thinking at the time, but if you have other ideas then don’t let me discourage you.” I felt his smile against my jaw and, tilting back my head, I captured his lips, my back bowing upward as my hand dug into his hair, forcing his mouth to mine. He responded, the kiss heated and almost brutal in its ferocity.

When we broke apart, it was Carlisle who stopped me from stumbling, my chest heaving for air in the awkward position my body had adopted.

He turned me to face him, holding me flush to his hot, tight body.

“So – do you like her?” His mouth was a hair’s breadth from mine once again.

“Very much,” I whispered. His lips hovered over mine, our warm breath mingling as one.

“Shall we take her out and see what she can do?” With that, his arms released me and he disappeared. I swayed for a moment on shaky legs before recovering my equilibrium, my body throbbing for him.

_You have_ got _to be kidding me._

So, while he checked the fuel level and made a few safety checks, I made myself useful, stocking the little fridge with food and unpacking the few essentials into the bathroom. As I laid out shaving equipment, deodorants and other such mundane items, I smirked when I saw that we had each packed a fresh box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

_Oh, Carlisle, your ass is mine._

I heard the engine turn over and the boat shuddered into life. Abandoning my unpacking for the time being, I quickly climbed the steps on to the deck and out into the open air. Carlisle called to me from the wheel.

“You ready?”

“Let’s go!” I answered excitedly.

Having already cast off, we edged out of the mooring bay and made our way out toward open sea. The ride was smooth, and soon we had left the marina behind us. As I watched our wake growing wider, I saw Carlisle pull a pair of aviator sunglasses out of his pocket. When he slipped them on I was catapulted back to that exact fantasy from my time in the hospital. The wind ruffled his blond hair as he stood, smiling, relaxed and in complete control.

He took my breath away.

I walked up behind him, my arms encircling his waist. The sea was quiet and there were no other craft nearby on the open water. I felt like the whole world was ours and ours alone. Birds wheeled and dived, screeching loudly as they rode the air. We cut through the water effortlessly and it felt like flying. Carlisle talked me through the controls, explaining the basics to me; it looked reasonably straightforward, although more powerful than I had initially realised.

He pointed out the island in the distance that we were headed for; it would take us a while to reach it but I didn’t care about that. Out here time didn’t feel real. When he showed me on the map the stretch of water along the Sound where whales were often seen, I immediately started looking, even as he laughed and said we weren’t going to be near enough to see them.

The smell of the ocean, the roaring vibration of the engine and the immediate proximity of my lover were all combining to make this an unforgettable experience. The palms of my hands slid across his torso, grazing his nipples as I lazily stroked him through his shirt. Hidden behind dark glasses, I could only guess at whether his eyes were darkening as my hands drifted lower, sliding the fabric aside as my hands met smooth, warm flesh that jumped as I scraped my nails lightly from side to side. He couldn’t hide his heavier breathing from me as I ran my tongue slowly up his neck to the base of his jaw before returning back down, tasting the salt on his skin as I retraced my tongue’s path with open mouthed kisses. My left hand held him against my body whilst my right explored the inner slopes of his thigh, my fingers so close to his cock that I saw his grip on the wheel tighten somewhat.

As he pushed his hips into my hand I removed it, winding both arms back around his waist. I heard his deep inhalation as he steadied himself.

_Two can play that game._

I slipped away, back downstairs, to finish putting clothes and essential items away. The last thing I needed was one of us tripping over stray objects just when things were (finally) getting interesting.

And they would.

I would make damn sure of that.

When I was done, I took him up a cool drink and watched as the island grew closer. I pointed with my soda can.

“How long?”

“A couple of minutes. Then we need to find a mooring spot. I thought we could explore the island a little and then get some lunch. They have a fabulous bookstore here.” He took a long pull from his can.

We waited until we could safely enter the channel, before cruising in to find a free spot. I helped with the mooring ropes and in no time we were ready to go. The island was huge and I relied on Carlisle’s knowledge to lead the way to the best spots.

We visited the bookstore last; I took far too long and spent far too much money before realising that Carlisle was nowhere to be seen. A thorough search found him buried in the art and photography section, surrounded by a stack of potential new favourites. I watched him for a moment, absorbed in the beautiful scenic photographs of rock formations and colours and I think I sighed. He looked up in surprise, his eyes widening as he took in my bag before checking the time. Clearly bookstores were every bit the same guilty pleasure for him as they were for me. Choosing a couple of new purchases, he made his way to the counter and then joined me outside in the cool air. Shifting his bag, he grasped my hand and together we walked to the restaurant for what turned out to be an early dinner, having missed lunch completely.

~xxXxx~

We left the restaurant a couple of hours later and meandered happily back down to the boat, our hands clasped, not caring who saw us this far from the mainland. Most folks were now making their way to any number of the restaurants and cafes on the island, and we found ourselves fighting against the tide of oncoming holidaymakers to get back to our craft. As soon as we were inside, Carlisle put down his books on a chair and pulled me into his arms, his lips finding mine. In between soft, languid kisses, I heard him mutter,

“Too many hours with no kisses...”

I pressed him back against the wall with my hips as his hands cupped my face to gain full access to my mouth. The kisses grew more demanding, more insistent, my breathing degenerating into panting as I ground my groin into his. I knew that if I let him he would pull away, but this time I wasn’t allowing it.

This time I needed more.

“Edward...” I shushed him, my fingers on his mouth as I shook my head. My voice was a hoarse whisper directly into his ear.

“You know what? I’ll take my chances because somewhere in the world it’s already Friday. I’m going to make love to you, Carlisle – right now. No arguments.”

Looking into his hooded, hazel eyes, I saw the fight in them eclipsed by desperate need. He acquiesced silently, allowing me to lead him to the bedroom. I closed the door and the curtains before walking back to him, my hands reaching for the bottom of his shirt even as he raised to arms to allow me to remove it. Smiling suggestively, I unfastened my buttons, displaying myself to him as I parted the fabric and let it fall. My belt was next; I slid the leather free of the buckle and popped the top button of my fly. Carlisle’s eyes were fixed on my fingers as the zipper slid down with a whirr to reveal my already hard, aching flesh. I saw his throat work.

“You’ve been walking around the whole day without underwear? And you didn’t tell me. Oh, Edward, what am I going to do with you?”

I stroked my cock, my other hand rubbing his through the cotton.

“Oh, I have an excellent idea.”

I pulled him to me, my mouth crashing into his as I shucked off my jeans. Two sets of hands fumbled to unfasten his pants, and in seconds they joined mine on the floor. I was shaking, my need for him all-encompassing. I craved him every second we were apart; when we were together I wanted to be naked with him, touching him, tasting him.  

Dragging myself away from his succulent mouth, I licked down his jaw, loving his heated moan when I nipped at my favourite spot before leaving a trail of hot kisses down his throat and neck. My hands ran down his arms before sliding round to his ass; I pulled him in tightly to me and softly bit into his shoulder. With a growl his hands were suddenly in my hair, his hot breath spilling across my cheek for a split second before he kissed me forcefully, walking me backward until my legs hit the bed. We collapsed together onto the mattress, his body pinning me down as he pillaged my mouth. I could barely tell where his flesh ended and mine began; we were a mass of writhing limbs, stroking tenderly and grasping tightly, exploring and worshipping every inch we could reach without ever letting go.

He was amazing and, together, we were perfect.

I rolled him over onto his back and reached for lube. His flushed skin drove me wild with lust, his eyes dark with desire. I knew my own mirrored his in that moment. I gave him one more drugging kiss and crawled down his body to where his erection waited for the hot embrace of my mouth. As I took him in deeply, my finger slid to his perineum, enjoying his hiss of pleasure, his body jerking. I lovingly sucked his hard flesh, my hand and mouth sliding up and down his length until my hand alone continued as my mouth laved his balls, eliciting strangled whimpers of frustration. When I spread his legs his hole was waiting, and my tongue found and claimed it for my own. As I lapped at the delicate skin, Carlisle let out a desperate cry, his chest rising and falling rapidly as I explored his tight cavern. My fingers held him open, my tongue alternately flickering, lapping and probing as his body shuddered above me.

My name escaped his lips repeatedly, breathy whispers surrounding me in a warm seductive fog.

I could take no more; my cock was throbbing and I needed to be one with him again, at long last.

Ripping open the foil packet, I smoothed the condom on quickly, coating both it and my fingers with lube. Turning my attention back to his beautiful ass, I pressed in a finger, circling it round before adding a second, his pants and moans urging me on. When he accepted a third, I pulled them out and placed my cock at his entrance, the tip easing in to his tight canal. I took it slow, pulling out and then pushing back in, entering him an inch at a time until, finally, I was where I wanted to be – deep inside him, his tight, hot walls gripping me tighter than a fist.

I paused for a moment, lost in the pleasure of his most intimate embrace. I kissed him with all I had, my love for him evident in every stroke of his thigh, every flick of my tongue, every soft moan of his name. His legs tightened around my back and I started to move, taking long, slow strokes as my arms took the strain of my self-control. Gazing deep into his eyes I took my cue from the haze of pleasure I saw there. As he palmed himself, I started to pump harder, his thigh muscles tensing and flexing around me as I steadily pushed him toward release. My body was slick with sweat as the heat between us intensified; my entire world focused solely on the sensations he was providing. He kissed and stroked any part of me that he could reach, until our lips met once more.

So close to coming, I locked my arms under his knees and pulled him flush to me for the final moments. Buried to the hilt in his heat, I pounded him for mere seconds before I felt my balls contract.

“Carlisle...I’m so close...”

I heard his keening as his hand pumped frantically then stilled, his come spilling on to his stomach. As his body contracted around me I let go, releasing my pleasure inside his well used ass. For a moment I simply collapsed onto him, his come smearing my skin. When I came down, I gently pulled out of him and fetched us a warm washcloth to clean up.

His first coherent words were concern for me.

“Your head – are you okay? Tell me, please.” His hand stroked my face.

Leaning over, I kissed him tenderly before whispering,

“I’m fine. That was perfect. God, I love you.”

 

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my pre readers who do an excellent job each chapter.
> 
> I own nothing, except a seriously large bill for condoms and lube. Well, the boys needed to play.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	10. Chapter 10

**CPOV**

We lay side by side, the sweat cooling on our sated bodies as we listened to other holidaymakers returning from their evening meals, their chatter drifting over the evening air.

I had gone against my medical training and risked Edward’s health, all because I couldn’t say no to him. I knew now he was okay – he had reassured me of that over and over again – but I mentally chastised myself for my selfishness and weakness. But the truth of it was that I hadn’t wanted to resist him. Making love with Edward had been a life-changing moment; one I had fantasised about repeating since that night at his apartment. To be so close to someone again felt almost daring, as if I were flying high and free with no safety net to catch me if I fell. And so, try as I might, I couldn’t regret a single moment of tonight.

Turning my head, I saw him gazing at me. He flushed a little at being caught openly staring, and I felt the smile tug at my lips. My thumb caressed his cheek, feeling the heat under the skin.

“Do you want to watch a movie or listen to some music? It’s still early.”

His arm snaked around my neck and urged me closer.

“No, I want to stay here.” A mischievous smile crept across his face. “I really think we need to discuss those mirrors...” I chuckled and pulled him in for a kiss, my lips skating over his teasingly before pulling back.

“Well, if you want to stay here that’s fine with me but I need a drink. Can I get you anything? Tea?”

He nodded and sat up, looking around the bed. His face brightened when he spotted his bathrobe and he pulled it on quickly, passing mine to me before changing his mind.

“Maybe not; I do prefer you naked.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Well _you_ might, but I suspect the other patrons might object.” I took my robe from him. Edward snorted.

“Not if they have eyes in their head.” He widened his eyes for emphasis.

I stood up, wincing slightly, and I saw his immediate concern.

“Did I hurt you? Was I too rough?” I hated seeing that look of fear in his eyes and quickly tried to dispel it.

“No, love. No. It’s to be expected; last week was my first time in a _very_ long time.” I pulled him to me by his robe sash, kissing away his concern before whispering against his lips, “Believe me when I say it was worth it.”

Tying my robe, I headed upstairs to make the tea, hearing Edward’s footfalls behind me. As I waited for the water to boil I felt arms snake around my waist and a chin rest on my shoulder.

“What am I having?” He eyed the mugs warily.

“Want to try the Lapsang today?” He didn’t look convinced, and I couldn’t hold back my laugh. “English breakfast it is then.”

Carrying our steaming mugs to the sofa, I sank down into the cushions, Edward beside me. Finding the remote control, I turned on the radio, adjusting the volume down. The sun was setting and we watched as the sky was filled with a fiery glow before finally ebbing away. Remembering our shopping trip, I reached over and lifted my books on to my lap, showing them to Edward. My fascination with photography extended as far as beautiful coffee table books and art; I took a reasonable photograph myself but I was no professional by any standards. What I did understand was colour and composition, and as Edward asked me questions I was able to answer them, smiling at his interest. He too was fascinated by the stunning scenic shots, and together we made grand plans to visit each and every beautiful spot the book featured.

As we giggled and kissed, each plan more outlandish than the previous one, a song came on the radio that summed up my exact feelings for Edward at that moment.

_Cos we belong together now, yeah_

_Forever united here somehow, yeah_

_You got a piece of me_

_And honestly_

_My life would suck without you._

Emboldened by the track, I voiced the question in my head that wouldn’t go away.

“Can I take some pictures of you? When we get back, maybe? I just...” my voice tailed off and I dropped my eyes in embarrassment. I heard his quiet intake of breath and looked up. “I just need to... to keep you close to me even when we’re apart.”

I saw his throat work, all traces of laughter gone from his face as he turned to me.

“So where are these photos destined for? The lounge room?” His fingers slid into my robe sending shudders through me. “Your bedroom...?” His lips found my throat and I moaned, his fingers squeezing my nipple. He murmured hotly against my skin.

“Or are they private snaps for your wallet?”

I felt the flush start at my chest and rise up my neck. _Hell yes, they are._

 I knew deep down that when Edward moved back home I would be bereft; the hours long and lonely until we were together again. I needed something tangible to make the empty hours pass quicker.

He pulled back, his hands on the curve of my neck.  

“Didn’t you bring a camera with you?”

I nodded.

“Well, no time like the present.” His green eyes sparkled. “I promise to keep my clothes on, at least for the duration of the photo session.” His lips brushed mine before he sank back into the cushions, his eyes expectant.

Heading for the bedroom, I located my camera and hurried back to find Edward sprawled on the sofa hugging a cushion to his chest, his head propped up on one hand. Looking up at me under his lashes he gave me a heartbreaking smile, and I snapped the photo that was destined for a silver frame by my bedside.

He reached for the camera, still smiling.

“Fair’s fair.” He took it, but instead of snapping a picture of me, he motioned me back to the sofa. “I don’t just want one of you, I want one of _us_.”

He set the timer and snuggled into my side, his head on my shoulder. As I rested my head against his, his soft hair against my cheek, the flash fired, capturing our first lasting memory; one that would later take pride of place in my wallet.

I set the timer again myself, this time capturing his bruised lips in a tender kiss that he returned and the camera recorded; a private moment for our eyes only. The kiss intensified and I felt my pulse spike. Pulling away he looked at me wickedly, his voice suggestive.

“Let’s go downstairs.”

Jumping up he pulled me to my feet, adjusting my robe over my burgeoning erection, leading me wordlessly across the room and down the stairs, closing the door behind us. His fingers deftly untied my robe, pushing it off my shoulders so that I stood naked before him.

His eyes were hypnotic, his voice commanding.

“Go and stand in front of the mirror, Carlisle.”

I complied, looking at myself, noting my darkened eyes. I watched him walk up behind me, meeting my eyes in the reflection. He parted his robe, his erection a promise of the delights to come. He saw my appreciation and his eyes narrowed.

“Hands against the glass.” My palms met the cold surface without hesitation, and I waited.

“Don’t move.”

Edward fetched the wooden chair from the corner of the room, removing the clothes hung over the back. He placed it on my right before discarding his robe; it joined mine on the floor and he kicked it away. I felt the heat from his palms as I watched him rest his hands on my shoulder blades; his nails scratched my back as they slid, painstakingly slowly, down my body and I shuddered. His mouth followed his hands’ path with deliberate kisses, sucking and nipping the skin lightly all along my spine as he moved ever lower. As his hands reached my hips he swept them up and across my chest, finding my nipples. He pinched them firmly, my body jerking as I cried out in pain tinged ecstasy. His tongue ran up my back like a line of fire and my face contorted with delicious agony as my swollen nipples were twisted mercilessly.

When I forced my eyes open, I saw his calculating expression. I watched his fingers trail down my stomach and splay out to encircle my hips, his fingertips so close to my cock that I moaned. He leaned into me and I felt the steel hardness of his shaft press against my ass.

“Spread your legs.”

As I obeyed, my breathing laboured, he dropped to his knees and positioned himself between the mirror and my body. When his fingers found and stroked the soft skin in my groin crease, my legs parted a little further, no instruction necessary. His tongue flickered along the line of delicate skin and I jumped, my cock straining toward him. I groaned desperately.

“You like that, don’t you. Your cock is so hard.” I could hear the amusement in his voice.

“Edward, please...”

With that, he dragged his tongue up the underside of my cock, and my legs trembled as I tried not to beg for his mouth around my flesh. Sensing my distress, he engulfed my shaft in his hot mouth and sucked hard; looking down at him, I watched as my cock disappeared between his hungry lips. My head fell back; I resisted the urge to move my hand away from the mirror, to fist his hair and thrust deeply into his throat. As if reading my thoughts he pulled away almost immediately, standing up and kissing me for the briefest moment, his tongue finding mine. His hard cock slid deliciously against mine, leaving a trail of pre-come on my stomach. His hand tightly gripped us both as I gasped into his mouth, my chest heaving for air, before he moved back behind me.

Fingers caressed the curve of my ass before gripping tightly as he bit the soft flesh of my neck. My breath hissed inward as I watched him sink down, his gaze hungry when he drew level with my ass. Spreading me wide with his thumbs, I felt his breath on my hole; he made no move to touch it, and sheer anticipation caused my stomach muscles to bunch. When his tongue finally glanced over my entrance before gliding away, sweeping along my crease, my thighs shook. The next time I tried to push back into his face but he held me still, this time covering the delicate skin with teasing laps until I moaned for more, completely under his spell.

I was squirming, trying to encourage him to go deeper, to breach the muscle and taste me. He took his time, rubbing the pad of his thumb across my entrance; his manipulations making me crave his fingers deep inside.

He wouldn’t give in; his tongue skimmed across the twitching flesh before unexpectedly pushing inside with no warning. I cried out, shudders of pleasure racking my body as his tongue moved within me. For an amazing few seconds he tongue fucked me as I writhed, my breathing hoarse and laboured, but all too soon he pulled out, circling my entrance and teasing the opening with the very tip of his talented tongue.

“ _Fuck_ , Edward... so good...”

He sucked at the quivering flesh, slipping his long tongue back into me for the longest moment so that I almost howled with frustration when he pulled away. My cock was wet and leaking, begging for attention, and I knew he could see that in the mirror. When he leant over for lube I didn’t know  for sure if he planned to fuck me, or just tease me some more until my cock couldn’t take it and I came all over the mirror in front of me.

The coolness of the lube was delicious; even more so was the finger that slipped in, swiftly followed by a second. Rotating them easily, he stretched me just enough for a third, and I started riding his knuckles until he stopped me. I moaned in disappointment when his fingers left me until I watched Edward stand up, his eyes burning into mine.

 “Admit it – you love watching me touch you in the mirror. That’s the real reason you installed them isn’t it. And now, you’re going to watch as I fuck you.”

“Yes, yes, god yes...”

 I couldn’t look away – he was mesmerising. I watched him stroke himself briefly before rolling on a condom, applying liberal amounts of lube to his cock. I felt cool, wet fingers at my hole and pushed into his hand as they slid all the way inside me before withdrawing, to my chagrin.

My voice was no more than a rough gasp as I begged for what I needed.

“Fuck me, love; fuck me _hard...”_

“I need your foot on the chair.” His mouth was over my ear.

I obeyed, panting hard; his hot breath against my neck, he started to push into me, taking his time as I adjusted to his length. I almost cried out as he finally filled me. Looking into my own eyes, I barely recognised the man looking back at me, his eyes dark and stormy, brow furrowed in ecstasy. At that moment Edward pulled back before thrusting balls deep into me; my cheeks were flushed, my mouth open as I gasped for air. My eyes closed with pleasure, but I found that that wasn’t permitted. Edward’s lips were against my ear.

“Open your eyes, Carlisle; you don’t want to miss this.”

I forced my eyes open and simultaneously watched and felt Edward’s slow, deliberate movements.  It was both perfect and excruciatingly frustrating at the same time, his hips moving almost lazily.

“Ready for more?” his eyebrow quirked.

My response was a deep, guttural groan.

“You know I am. Give it to me. Please...”

 As I watched, I saw Edward’s hips flex with each wonderful thrust, his movements gaining more power now as his thighs tensed with every upward stroke. I watched him rise up on his toes and plough into me over and over, his hands holding my hips tightly; the only sounds I could utter were unintelligible grunts, rising in volume as the pleasure threatened to peak and consume me.  He wrapped an arm around my stomach, keeping me tight against him while his other hand finally gripped my desperate cock. I leaned back into him as he licked the sweat from my neck. My body trembled and shook as he fucked me relentlessly, forcing the breath from my body on each thrust. It was the sight of him pounding me, his hand stroking my rigid flesh, that overloaded my senses and I tensed before crying out, my come spraying both the mirror and Edward’s hand as my body tried to process the myriad of sensations it was experiencing. As I gasped and jerked, he stayed inside me, still hard.

When I finally relaxed, he slid free and helped me stagger to the bed. As I sat down I saw his swollen flesh in front of me and knew what I had to do. Removing the condom, I leaned forward and took him deep into my mouth, intent on pleasuring him as he had me. My hands found his balls and tugged them lightly; licking my finger I grazed his hole, and he cried out as the tip penetrated. Pushing inside, I finger fucked him until he stilled, shooting his load deep into my throat. As he cried out my name hoarsely, his hands on my head, I swallowed it all and together we collapsed back onto the bed, breathing noisily and grinning like idiots.

When we could speak again, Edward turned to me.

“One of us should really clean that mirror...”

~xxXxx~

I looked again at the pictures of Edward on the camera. He was beautiful; there was no other word good enough for him. I reflected on our lovemaking, and the thrill of his dominant side emerging for the first time as his confidence grew. My body craved his, and surrendering to him had given me more pleasure than I could ever have hoped for. I hadn’t been joking when I said I needed reminders of him around the house. Seeing him once a week had been hard enough before we got together; now that I had spent lots more time with him I realised just how lost I was going to be when we were both back at work. I had, at best, two more days with him before he moved back home. I fervently hoped he would stay the weekend and practice on the piano. I wanted him to enjoy it, play some for me and by so doing ensure that a small part of him was always in my house, even when he wasn’t living there anymore.

When would we get to spend time together? Sundays, definitely, unless work called me in. Evenings? Edward worked til closing most days. I sighed heavily; this was going to be harder than I thought. Our time was so limited. Perhaps I should try to get later shifts so we could be together in the mornings? No – the Chief wouldn’t go for that. I had responsibilities at work – I couldn’t just work when _I_ wanted to.

Kissing the top of his head, I felt my heart grow heavy. I wanted to come home to him every night when we both finished our shifts. I wanted to fall asleep with him curled up next to me. But I knew it wasn’t all about my needs. I could only hope he missed me as much as I was going to miss him.

I played with the soft strands of his unruly hair. He was fast asleep, his leg crooked over mine, while I lay thinking.

As it was, I slept fitfully and woke early. The outside world was quiet, the silence broken only by the distant rumble of another cruiser making an early exit for pastures new.

Edward lay with his back to me, one arm hugging his pillow, the other hanging off the edge of the mattress. I slid out of bed, dressed quickly, and made my way upstairs and out on deck. It was a cool morning, the water calm as the ripples from the wake rocked the boat rhythmically. Further down the jetty I saw other people getting ready to move on, perhaps making the most of their weekend getaways. I thought it might be fun to move on to another island, one more secluded, and spend the day on our own. I breathed deeply, the air washing away some of my worry. Things always looked worse at night, when the mind had time to dwell. Tonight we’d be home, and tomorrow Edward would get one of his lifelong dreams granted. I was as excited as he at the prospect of the piano’s arrival and I wanted him to feel free to visit whenever he wanted, without feeling the need to ask for permission. I had nothing to hide from him – I was an open book. Edward held the key to my heart and tomorrow he would also have the key to my home.

I nodded good morning to the family moored next to us as they appeared on deck to cast off. More people were now preparing to leave and, with a smile, I headed back inside to go wake Edward. Closing the bedroom door, I shed my clothes and climbed back in beside my love, pressing my cool skin against his warmth and hearing a quiet yelp.

“You’re freezing!” His head turned to me as I ran my foot down his leg.

“Then warm me up.”

~xxXxx~

We finally greeted the day an hour later after an extremely pleasurable shower. We sat on the deck, dressed for the day ahead and eating toast while we watched boats come and go come and go from the dock. I had proposed a visit to the next island and Edward was all for it so, after breakfast and coffee, we slowly made our way out into open water once more.

It was cooler than the day before, although the sun was bright and cheery. I pointed out the island on the map as we travelled and he looked endearingly sad when I told him that he most likely wouldn’t see any whales today either. I could definitely see a whale-watching trip in the future – I hated to see him disappointed.

It was a short hop to the next island, and soon we were approaching the entrance channel, slowly making our way inside the breakwater. I manoeuvred _New Beginnings_ to an empty stretch of dock and moored her.

We spent a couple of hours on the island, exploring the State Park. It was peaceful and beautiful, and we walked in comfortable silence, looking around for reclusive wildlife. After spotting a pair of otters, we stopped for a while to watch them play before Edward quietly led me away to the beach. Pulling me down onto the rough sand at the water’s edge, he leant over me, his head resting on his hand, his expression serious and a little sad.

“I wish we didn’t have to go back.”

“Just travel the world like nomads, you mean? Stop wherever we want, see the world?”

He laughed. “That book has given me a few ideas, that’s for sure. It’s been amazing, being able to do what we like, and no responsibilities. I’ve not had a proper holiday before.” He looked self-conscious as if this was something to be ashamed of.

“This is the first of many, believe me. I plan to kidnap you whenever I get the opportunity. Resistance is futile!” I fisted the air dramatically and Edward collapsed back on the sand, his body shaking with laughter. Jumping to my feet, I kicked off my shoes and walked into the water, wincing a little at the sharp stones underfoot as the cold water lapped at my feet. Closing my eyes, I let my head roll back and breathed deep, feeling the shackles of everyday life wash away.

When Edward’s hand folded around mine I felt totally free.      

After we dried off we returned to the boat, retrieving the food that I had brought with us. We made our way to the barbeque huts and set about cooking dinner. While I grilled the steaks, Edward served the salads; this little task took mere seconds, leaving him unoccupied and able to distract me in my task, something in which he took great delight. By the time he had nibbled my neck and nipped my ears I was swaying slightly and leaning into him. Consequently the steaks were a little more cooked than planned. Remembering how he liked his meat _cooked,_ I realised I had been played as he couldn’t control his satisfied smirk the whole time we ate. 

All too soon the time came to head for home and rejoin our lives. Determined to enjoy every last second of our trip, I showed Edward how to operate the controls and let him take over. I was then able exact my revenge, distracting him with kisses and touches as he tried to concentrate on his task.

Arriving back at the marina, we moored before taking our time packing away everything we had used. Edward looked impressed when I swiftly changed the bed, using clean linen from the storage cupboard. As we left the bedroom, he looked round for a moment with a smile. As I locked the main doors behind us and set the alarm, I turned to him.

“Does that smile mean you want to do this again sometime?”

Very subtly, the back of his hand glanced over my ass.

“You bet I do.”

 I couldn’t rein in the grin that spread across my face as we walked to the car. Throwing the bags into the trunk, I reluctantly returned to reality and switched on my phone. _Three missed calls from Alice_. I chuckled; I hadn’t told her we were going away and she was probably going insane with curiosity. Edward looked up.

“Problem?”

“No, it’s just Alice. I’ll call her when we get home.”

The drive back was relaxed. Edward chattered about the piano coming tomorrow and where was it going to reside. I answered his questions willingly, all the time acutely aware that we had just two days _(and two nights)_ left before I returned to work on Monday.

When we walked in I dropped the bags in the hallway. Edward walked through to the kitchen to fetch a drink and I noticed the flashing light on the answering machine. Pressing play, I turned for the kitchen and then stopped dead, hearing Alice’s panicked voice. I felt the colour drain from my face.

**“Carlisle? Are you there? It’s Alice... pick up...”** There was an audible sigh. **“I need to speak to you before Monday. There’s been an incident at the hospital. Lauren... Lauren was there a few days ago, telling everyone who would listen that her dad was dating one of his patients. I tried to get her out of the ward before people heard but, well, now another person has come forward, claiming they saw you being intimate with a man outside the aquarium. It doesn’t look good; rumours are rife on the ward and the Chief has been told to conduct an inquiry. Call me back as soon as you get this. Where the hell _are_ you anyway?”**

The machine clicked off and Edward appeared next to me, his eyes huge.

“This is bad – could you lose your job?”

My face in the mirror was ashen and I turned to meet his worried eyes.

“I honestly don’t know.”

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 and my pre readers who do an excellent job each chapter.
> 
> I own nothing except a love of purple and teal. 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	11. Chapter 11

**EPOV**

Carlisle picked up the phone and dialled Alice’s number. She must have answered on the first ring, as if she were sitting there waiting for his call. His voice was quiet and solemn.

 “Yes, Alice, it’s me. Can you come over? Yes, Edward is here. Okay; we’ll see you in ten minutes.”

He replaced the handset, his hand resting there for a moment. “She’s on her way.”

I returned to the kitchen and silently made tea, carrying it through to the lounge room. He sat on the edge of the sofa, eyes pinched shut, with his hand massaging his forehead. Placing the cups down on the low table, I sat down and rubbed his tense shoulders, trying to offer some small comfort against this latest, senseless blow. His forehead was bunched, his eyebrows knitted as his inner turmoil bubbled to the surface; I wished there were some way to wipe away that worry and make everything as perfect as it had been just a few short minutes ago. He slumped forward, his hands sliding to the back of his head. I hated that his body language screamed defeat, after everything we had already endured. He leaned into me and my arms wrapped around him as if they could shield him from this latest injustice.

I heard a car pull into the driveway, and doors closing. When I reached the door, I found both Alice and Rosalie waiting, looking tense and anxious. They returned my smile, their faces tight, and I ushered them inside, pointing wordlessly to the lounge room.  Carlisle was on his feet and they hugged him protectively, their bonds of friendship strong. I held back, respecting their moment of love and support, until Rosalie turned to me, holding out her arms. I accepted her hug, hearing her whispered words in my ear:

“I’m glad you’re all better, darling. Emmett was so worried about you; you two really are close aren’t you?” I nodded, a little embarrassed. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Edward. We all need friends in times of crisis.” She rubbed my arms briskly and turned to sit down. Alice claimed her hug too, and I laughed despite the tense atmosphere, as though she barely reached my chest in height, she made up for it in strength.

When everyone had relaxed a fraction, the rest of us sat down. Carlisle spoke.

“So tell me everything. From the beginning.”

The girls looked at each other and Rosalie nodded. Alice fiddled with the clasp on her bag for a moment before finding the words.

“It all started on Tuesday.” She looked at Rosalie, who nodded encouragingly.”Lauren came into the ward saying she had a ‘friend’ she wanted to visit. She was unclear as to who this friend was, so I asked her to wait in the seating area and I would be with her shortly. It was busy and I got called away...” she hesitated, hardly able to meet Carlisle’s eyes as she continued.

“When I went back over to fetch her she was gone, but then I was asked an odd question by another person in the chairs. The lady asked me if it was true that a doctor at this hospital had been dating his patient. I was dumbstruck, but I told her ‘no’, it was most definitely not true. The woman persisted, saying that all rumours have some basis in fact and that she had been told by a young woman that an older doctor had been dating his younger patient, which was totally unacceptable. Although I tried to placate her and reassure her that it was simply untrue, it turned out that the woman knew someone on the hospital Board. She said she was going to file a complaint against the doctor and the hospital for malpractice, as it was in the public interest for this to be exposed and dealt with officially.  I didn’t know what to do, Carlisle. We were in a crowded public area and other folk were listening in. And then... and then she named you, and that’s when it all went to hell. Two people had family that had been treated by you before Edward’s accident, and others had had dealings with you in the past. I tried to put them straight about it but they were shouting and not listening to me...” her voice cracked, and I held out my hand which she clasped gratefully.

“That’s when I came over.” Rosalie’s voice continued the story. “I heard the commotion and came to help. It had escalated rapidly and someone started shouting that they wanted you fired. I thought for a moment that I was finally getting through to them, and they were quietening down, but then the lady who started this all off mentioned that the patient in question was male. That’s when some homophobic cretin stood up, declaring that the hospital went against God for employing someone who practiced unholy acts, and he was going to be moving his mother to a decent hospital away from this... this _perversion_.” She uttered the word so quietly that I barely caught it; her eyes clouded and she looked away, hiding for a moment behind her veil of blonde hair.

I saw Carlisle’s reaction to that statement, the pain etched across his face at the slur against him. Alice let go of my hand and I took Carlisle’s in mine. I could feel him shaking as his fingers tightened around mine, wanting so much to pull him in close to me and kiss his pain away.

Wiping her eyes discreetly, Rosalie sniffled before continuing.

“We - Alice and I – went to the Chief straight away and explained everything. We hoped that he could make it go away, but yesterday this happened...”

She passed me a copy of the local news paper, folded to show a large article. To my horror it showed a picture of Carlisle under the headline “Local doc in malpractice claim”. Scanning it quickly, it gave the ‘facts’ as Alice had stated them and ended with the statement ‘Doctor Cullen was unavailable for comment.’

Carlisle took the paper and read the article, his brow furrowed, eyebrows knitted in pain. When he reached the end he tossed it on to the coffee table, his elbows on his knees as his head fell into his hands, his fingers scraping through his hair.

I turned to the girls, swallowing hard.

“What did the Chief say?”

Alice answered, her eyes wide, pleading with me to believe her.

“He’s all over this. He’s called the hospital legal team in. This is a smear campaign that’s besmirching Carlisle’s good name and reputation. Carlisle, this will be sorted. Your friends at work are all behind you one hundred percent. I’m so sorry; we tried to reach you so many times, but you didn’t answer your cell. We kept calling the house just in case you came home. We were worried. Where _were_ you?”

I answered, feeling the heavy weight of guilt settle on my shoulders.

“We went sailing. Carlisle wanted to take me away for a couple of days to finish my recuperation.”

“Oh, that’s so lovely!” Alice’s face lit up for a second until she looked at Carlisle, his eyes squeezed shut. When he spoke, his voice was rough.

“Alice, you said on the phone that Edward and I were seen outside the aquarium. How does that fit into all this?”

She gulped, and I felt my blood pressure spike.

“In today’s paper someone wrote a letter to say you had been spotted holding hands and acting in an intimate fashion with a young man. They implied that it may have been a different man, that you might make a habit of dating lots of different men. They intimated that you might be... promiscuous.”

I saw a lone tear shimmer in the corner of his eye before it rolled down his cheek. His hands were knotted together over his mouth as if he were fighting to hold back sobs. So help me, I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. So much pain, so many lies, and for what? He had done nothing wrong. To be accused of something so awful - it must be tearing him apart inside. He had told me from the beginning that he kept his private life just that: private. And after all those happy years with Marcus to now be accused of promiscuity... I wanted to find that journalist and cause them a world of pain. Without another thought, I pulled Carlisle into my arms and rocked him, feeling his arms tighten around me.

I whispered to him over and over: “We’ll fight this, make it go away. We’ll make them apologise to you. They’ll be sorry...”

I heard Alice open her bag and retrieve something. When I looked I saw both girls dabbing their eyes and I looked away. Had Lauren really intended to cause all this upset? Who was she trying to hurt? Was it really her Daddy, whom she loved dearly, or the traitorous ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her with the most important man in her life? I was having trouble believing that all this was intentional – that this had been her master plan all along. There had to be another explanation. There had to be.

I spoke up.

“What happens now, Alice? What can I do to help make this go away?”

“They have your chart, Edward. They know that Carlisle had no medical dealings with you after your accident. There is no crime here, no malpractice suit to push. The legal team are coming down on Monday to interview both me and Rosalie as we were on duty when you were admitted. They have already spoken to Doug Anders who is horrified by this whole turn of events. The accusations will be publicly refuted, the evidence against them undeniable and absolute. But the damage has been done; the hospital gossips are out in force, people who had no idea that Carlisle was gay, who never knew him when Marcus was alive.”   

I rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head before loosening my arms. He sat up, his eyes heavy but dry as he looked at Alice. She met his gaze, the concern weighing heavily on her narrow shoulders.

“Carlisle, I’m so sorry I left Lauren alone in that waiting area. I didn’t know it was a ruse to get me out of the way. I had no clue what she was planning, or that she would sink this low. You should know that she has been banned from the hospital. The Chief was very clear about that. The entire hospital is under the spotlight for all the wrong reasons, and he is getting some major heat from the Board. He wants to speak to you as soon as possible, ideally before you start work again on Monday. He said you can reach him at home.”

Carlisle cleared his throat.

“I’ll call him in the morning and arrange an urgent meeting.” He sighed heavily. “I truly thought we had sorted out our differences, Lauren and I, I really did.”

I spoke up, thoughtfully.

“This all started Tuesday? The whole bar debacle happened Wednesday night. Perhaps she didn’t want to rock the boat by telling you what she’d done once you two had made up. Perhaps she deluded herself into thinking that if she just ignored it, the whole thing would just go away?”

Carlisle shook his head, turning to me.

“I don’t understand. There have been no calls from Esme on either phone. Is it possible that she has no idea? How can that be? It’s in the newspaper! Someone must have said something to her by now. Then again, as we were away at the time, it’s likely that people think I’ve gone into hiding.”

“Lauren’s clever enough to hide the evidence from her, but, like you say, someone’s going to let it slip to Esme sooner or later. Wouldn’t it be better if you told her yourself? She and I need to have a face to face at some point too; this could solve that problem. I think we all need to sit down and work this out. We can’t keep living like this, wondering where the next attack will come from. I can’t keep watching her hurt you like this.” I kissed him, my lips barely glancing over his before I pulled away. “If that means we spend some time apart while you two reconnect, then so be it. You need to rebuild your relationship with her. Look, I start back at the bar on Monday so I’ll be moving back home. Take this opportunity to spend some time with your daughter, Carlisle. Try and fix things with her.”

He looked desolate and I felt wretched.

“You’ll stay the weekend though? Like we planned? The piano...”

I smiled at him, my fingers caressing the nape of his neck.

“Tomorrow, I know; like I could forget! And I’m not leaving ‘til Sunday afternoon. It’s just that my place is close to work and, as I don’t have a car at the moment, it makes sense. That’s something I need to sort out with Emmett. I’ll arrange some time with him to go look at replacements - this week if I can. I need to be mobile again, I hate having to beg him for lifts everywhere.”

He leaned into my neck with a grin. “I’d never make you beg, Edward.” His lips found the sensitive spot beneath my ear and I gasped, my world starting to tilt a fraction.

I heard giggles as the girls stood up, Alice smirked at me, her eyes delicately red-rimmed.

“I think it’s time for us to get going. We’ll talk to you soon, guys. Keep us updated, and if there’s anything we can do...” she tailed off.

I blushed, and Carlisle chuckled, in spite of himself. “Sorry, ladies, I’ll see you out.”

I hugged them both as they left, hearing their soft voices as they said their goodbyes to Carlisle at the door, urging him to be strong. He thanked them, and I heard the click as the door closed. When he returned he sat back down next to me.

“After this weekend, we’re not going to see much of each other, are we.” His tone was forlorn.

“We could always try phone sex.” I reached out, my curled finger tracing the curve of his chin.

His hand covered mine as he chuckled, nuzzling into my hand. “I’d rather have real sex.”

I nodded in agreement. “True. My hand is no substitute for your ass, no matter _how_ good my fantasies are.” His breathing quickened, his eyes darkening.  “We’ll find a way; evenings, weekends, whatever it takes. I love you – no amount of public backlash will ever change that.”

He captured both my hands in his, his face suddenly devoid of laughter.

“Edward, this has major ramifications on your life too. If you stand by me you’re going to be publicly outed. You can’t take that back. Have you spoken to your mother? I’d hate this to end up in the papers and for her to find out about us in such a way.”

This had crossed my mind, I couldn’t lie. I needed to call my mother and explain about Carlisle and I. I couldn’t bear for her to hear about us through rumours and lies. As for being outed – well, my few friends here in Seattle all knew, and I felt surprisingly good about admitting who I was in public, standing side by side with my love. When I didn’t answer immediately, he looked crushed but tried to be stoic.

“I know this is a hell of a lot to ask of you and I’ll understand if you say no.”

Looking into his pained eyes, I smiled, leaning in close until my lips hovered over his.

“To be with you, I will do whatever _(kiss)_ it _(kiss)_ takes.”

Then I pushed him back and kissed him until we were both breathless, his desire matching my own.

~xxXxx~

He had bad dreams and I held him as he fretted through the night, his issues allowing him little peace. More than once he woke himself, and I stroked his hair and forehead to soothe him back to sleep. I myself barely slept, too worried about him and what the future held. I drifted off around 4am but woke shortly afterward when Carlisle rolled over, pulling my arm across him like a security blanket. It was then that I finally slept, holding him tightly, keeping him safe.

Sunlight streamed through the blinds when I opened my eyes and squinted at the clock. Carefully untangling myself from Carlisle, I dropped a kiss to his shoulder before sliding out of bed. Almost 10am; the delivery men were due in a couple of hours – time to get up and get organised. After a bathroom detour, I made my way downstairs and flicked on the coffee pot before returning to the bedroom to wake Carlisle. But, as I stood in the doorway watching him sleep peacefully, I debated leaving him there a little longer. There was no denying he needed the rest, but I knew he wouldn’t be happy with losing half the day. Moving around the bed, I leaned in and dropped a kiss on his forehead before nuzzling into his neck until I felt him stir.

I whispered into his ear,

“Sorry, my love, time to get up. Coffee’s on.”

He rolled over; his eyes barely cracked open as he looked at me, and pulled me down until his mouth found mine.

“Come back to bed.”

I groaned, my cheek resting against his, sorely tempted by the suggestive roughness of his tone.

“It’s late; we should be getting up.”

His mouth quirked into a half smile, his eyebrows rising almost imperceptibly. “I _am_ up. What time is it anyway?”

“Almost ten. The deliverymen will be here in...” My voice was cut off when his tongue entered my mouth and I forgot what I was saying, all thought swept away by his expert kiss.

Pulling back for a brief moment, he whispered, “We have time...”

His tone was final; I submitted willingly to his caresses, his nails scratching down my skin and awakening my body in spectacular ways.

When I came, shaking and sweating, it was with his hand palming the head of my cock and his tongue buried deep in my ass.

~xxXxx~

We forced ourselves to get dressed and set to moving furniture in the lounge room. Carlisle wanted the area by the French doors cleared and the chairs repositioned so that the piano could be viewed comfortably if so desired. When not in use it would be a beautiful piece of furniture, in its own space and enhancing the room. For now, the chairs were pushed back, awaiting its arrival.

My only aim today was to keep Carlisle’s mind occupied until he could speak to the Chief. If the simple act of rearranging furniture did the trick then I would cheerfully move these chairs around for the entire day.

When we heard a rumble outside, followed by the doorbell, we both looked at each other and dashed to the door like excited children. The delivery men followed Carlisle around to the French doors and my dream finally became a reality – a piano now stood in the sunlit spot by the doors and I couldn’t stop smiling. Carlisle left the room and I reacquainted myself with the instrument, running my hands lovingly along the polished wood to confirm to myself that it was actually here. When Carlisle returned, he kissed my fading bruise and held out his closed fist to me, indicating I should hold out my hand. When I did, he dropped a key into my open palm, folding his hands over mine.

“It’s all yours, to play as often as you want, whenever you want.” If it were possible, my smile grew even wider than before. I pulled him into a tight embrace which he returned fiercely before releasing me.  He made short work of moving the chairs into position and sat down, his head on one side as if waiting. Slightly embarrassed, I sat down on the piano stool and ran my fingers over the keys, reacquainting myself with its sound and timbre. I remembered from the store how beautiful the tone was; mere moments later I was once again drawn into its spell.

As ever, my mood dictated my music and so it was that my underlying worry for Carlisle came across in the haunting piece of music I subconsciously chose. Had I been in my right mind I would never have played it; the moment the last note died away I looked up to see him watching me with an intense expression. My hand automatically found my hair and he was on his feet in seconds, pulling me into his embrace.

“Oh, my love, that was beautiful. Edward, it’s going to be okay.  _We’re_ going to be okay. I’m going to go call the Chief - he should be home now.” I clung to him for a long moment, unable to speak. I was trying to be strong for _him_ , to comfort _him_ , and somehow it had become about me. My music always displayed my true feelings, leaving me nowhere to hide, and I felt guilty for adding to his burden. He held me tight, my face buried in his neck and together we took comfort in each other. When he dropped his arms, his hand smoothed my unkempt hair with a smile before his lips met mine in a tender kiss. Touching his thumb to his mouth in that gesture I loved so much, he left the room, and I heard him pick up the phone.

I walked out into the garden to give him some privacy while he spoke with his boss. Sitting down on the low wall, I tilted my face into the sun, so rarely seen here, and marvelled at the irony of a perfect summer day, fluffy clouds and all, when it should’ve been miserable and overcast to reflect our situation. I don’t know how long I sat there; the sound of birdsong was all I heard as I sank into a comfortable, trancelike state. When Carlisle came to find me I shaded my eyes to look up at him. He led me into the house and sat me down.

“Alice was right; the legal team are coming in on Monday to talk to the staff who shared my shifts. I will be seen separately before their shifts start on Monday morning. The Chief will be waiting in his office for me at 8am and my suspension will be announced after that meeting.”

I went cold. “For how long?”

“He says three days, but that they’ll let me know as soon as the inquiry is completed.”

“That’s good, right? He knows this is all lies?”

“Yes, he knows. Like the girls said, he has your file and Doug has already confirmed that I had no contact with you professionally. I’ll tell the lawyers the truth: that I met you prior to the accident, that we are in a relationship and that this is all a huge misunderstanding. By Wednesday all this will be behind us, at least officially. I’ve no idea what my reception will be like when I go back to work.” He sighed heavily. “I’ve never kept my sexuality a secret, but I’ve never felt the need to publicise the fact either. I like my life to be private, and this has thrown my bedroom door wide open to all onlookers. I can’t lie, Edward, I was much happier when most people didn’t know. Not because I’m ashamed, but because it’s embarrassing having people know about my intimate life when it’s none of their _business._ ”

I could see the frustration on his face, his fingers digging into his palms.

“I was going to suggest we go to see Esme, but I think we would be better going tomorrow when you’ve had a little time to process all this.” I took a deep breath. “We may be getting to the heart of the problem here.” He looked at me in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I could be wrong, and this is something for us all to discuss tomorrow, but I cannot truly believe that Lauren did this to _hurt_ you. I am getting the strong impression that she was trying to make you feel the same embarrassment that we have caused her. Look at her friends in the bar; they were being evil to her. She will have to face that every day until someone else’s pain and misery become bigger news.” He stared at me, unblinking. “Think about it; the embarrassment that you are dreading facing at work -  it strikes me as entirely possible that Lauren was trying to make you understand how she feels and she has unwittingly set loose a runaway train. Do you really feel that she could have masterminded this – getting you in the papers and in trouble with the Board? This will draw _attention_ to what happened, making life worse for her. I honestly think that when we see Esme we’ll find out that no papers have been delivered and that Lauren has been desperately hiding all evidence, praying this will blow over.” I grimaced. “She’s out of luck there, of course.”

 He laughed hollowly. “If that turns out to be true, then my daughter belongs on the stage. I have no idea where the theatrics have come from, but I know they are going to stop. I have always been a fair parent to my daughter; we have had an open dialogue for some years now and we can talk about anything and everything. She understood about Marcus and I, not the intimate details of course, but she understood that there was nothing wrong with two men loving each other. Growing up, she accepted the relationship without question, treating Marcus as a cross between a favourite uncle and a second dad, especially after Peter, Esme’s husband, passed away. Marcus loved her too, so much. When he died...” he paused suddenly before composing himself. “When he died, he left everything to me, and set up a trust fund for Lauren’s schooling so that Esme didn’t have to worry about the money. Lauren doesn’t know yet – she was still very much a child at the time.”

“What are you suggesting? That you don’t tell her about the college fund? She may not want to go to college anyway. What then?”

“It would mature when she was 25, or, if I choose, I can break it early.”  He shook his head. “Marcus would both be so disappointed in her right now, as am I.”

 “She does have to be punished, but don’t make any hasty decisions, love. You’ve got a lot to deal with over the next few days. Once Monday is out of the way, things might start to look a little brighter. Have you met the lawyers before?”

“Yes, once before when a patient died unexpectedly. There was an inquiry then too. It’s a different man this time, someone named Whitlock. According to the Chief he’s excellent and should have this mess cleaned up in no time. Let’s hope so.”

I smiled ruefully. “At this rate, we’re going to need another holiday. Get the boat ready.” He chuckled, moving to sit next to me on the sofa.

“Edward, about Sunday; do you... have to go? I was wondering if you’d stay until this was sorted out. I’m ashamed to admit it but I really need your support.” He paused, as if afraid of my reaction before plunging onward. “I’ll drive you to work, and fetch you after closing.”

My eyes met his and I saw the strain in his gaze, the skin around his eyes tight with worry.

“If it means that much to you then of course I’ll stay.” My thumbs brushed the dark circles under his eyes. “Now stop frowning or you’ll wrinkle that beautiful face.”

His face lit up and it made my heart sing. I couldn’t resist teasing him.

“I don’t know why you’re so happy. I’m out of clean clothes so you need to do some laundry!” I clicked my fingers. “Honestly, the service in this place is shocking...”

His grin grew ever wider as he pressed me back into the cushions, my hands pinned over my head.

“Trapped in my house with no clothes? My prayers have been answered!”

~xxXxx~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The piece that Edward was playing is called Kesson Daslef. Listen to it here: www .youtube.com/watch?v=ovk-5c0GFFM 
> 
> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	12. Chapter 12

**CPOV**

Rolling over, I laid thinking about what I needed to do. I had considered Edward and I going to talk to Esme, but, in truth, I thought it best if my ex wife and I spoke privately first. I knew that Esme wouldn’t feel comfortable talking openly about our daughter in front of him. She had yet to speak to him since his break up with Lauren, and I felt that they needed to meet under better circumstances.

I would explain all of it to Edward when he woke; perhaps he could go and see Emmett today as not having a car was getting him down, despite my willingness to drive him. I understood his feeling of helplessness all too well: tomorrow morning was my meeting with the lawyers, and marked the start of my suspension.

Sensing I was awake, Edward turned over, nuzzling into my neck sleepily. My fingers found his hair, caressing the soft strands in a soothing gesture. He sighed, responding to the almost hypnotic action. I didn’t want him to stress about tomorrow; there was nothing he could do now, we just had to wait this out. Hopefully, returning to work tomorrow would give him some focus, and distract him in a constructive way.

Not willing to leave the warm body next to me, I lay there for another half hour, planning exactly how I was going to broach the subject of Lauren’s actions to Esme. At best, this wasn’t going to be pleasant; at worst, this was going to be a huge shock.

Edward was suddenly awake, bolting upright and surprising me out of my deep reverie. His eyes were wide before he realised where he was.

“What’s wrong?” My hand rested on his shoulder as I pulled myself up to face him.

“Nothing... nothing. I-I just...” I heard his dry throat click, and he closed his eyes tight for a moment before looking back at me. “I dreamed they took you away from me...” His voice was confused.

“Who? Who took me away?”

“The judge said we broke the law, and we were locked up. We weren’t allowed to see each other.”

I turned to face him fully, my face level with his.

“It was a nightmare, my love, just a nightmare. No one is taking me away from you, no one. If you ever decide that you want rid of me then you’ll have to send me away yourself.”

His eyes were fathomless as he gazed intently at me, his head tilted a fraction. His voice was soft as new fallen snow.

“Why would I ever do that?”

I felt exposed and vulnerable in that moment, my heart naked and raw in his hands as I spoke my fear aloud.

“Because one day you may decide you want more than I can give you, like a family of your own, for example.”

The thought that he may one day leave me was ever present in the recesses of my mind. No matter how it happened, when I thought of my life without Edward it was a life of darkness and despair, an empty, aching chasm of loss.

He stroked my cheek, tilting my face to his, and whispered against my lips:

“Never; I will never stop wanting you. I dream about you even when you’re lying next to me.”

His lips brushed mine so tenderly that I melted into him, our lips merely toying with each other causing the blood to pound through my veins directly to my groin. He pulled away to look at me and I gasped at the loss of contact.

“You have to know, the way I feel about you...”  He shook his head. “I didn’t just make a conscious decision one day to date a guy; I’d never really thought about it. I just saw you one day and that was it. I don’t love you _despite_ you being a guy - I love you because you’re _Carlisle_ , the person who turned my life upside down and made it a thousand times better than I ever dreamed it could be. Carlisle - you _are_ my family.”

His face was so open, his eyes pleading for understanding. I pulled him into a tight embrace and just held him close, my morning stubble chafing his shoulder as he pressed reassuring kisses along my neck.

When he pulled back I kissed him lovingly.

“I’m going to go shave else I’m going to get you all scratched up.”

He rubbed his own rough jaw, smiling ruefully. “Good idea. Call me when you’re done.”

Smiling, I swung my legs out of bed and padded over to the en suite, closing the door. I took care of business and washed up before completing my teeth cleaning and shaving routine. The door opened as I was rinsing the sink, Edward appearing in the doorway looking somewhat dishevelled. Seeing me patting my face dry, he grinned, cleaning his teeth before reaching for the shaving foam. I watched him work, enjoying the steady glide of steel against his razor sharp jaw as his face re-emerged from the foam. He smiled at my observation, his eyes drifting more than once to my semi-hard shaft.

“Eyes on the job, Edward!” He smirked and continued the rhythmic stroking of blade on skin.

He rinsed the razor and admired his work before drying off and rinsing the sink. Then he turned to me and I felt my breathing catch at the raw desire I saw burning in his darkened eyes. I fumbled for the shower switch and in seconds the shower room was filled with steam. I backed into the spray and Edward followed, closing the door behind him and leaning back against it casually. He watched the water sluicing down my body as I smoothed back my hair, intentionally displaying myself, offering myself to him. In a second he was in front of me, pinning me up against the tiles. His wet body pressed against mine, his erection sliding alongside my own as both pressed into my stomach, our urgency for each other blatantly apparent.

He pinned me in place with his blistering gaze, his mouth a whisper away from mine as he slowly ground his hips in an obscene and utterly intoxicating movement, the head of his cock dragging its way up my shaft until the swollen tip rubbed against my own. A long, low moan escaped my lips.

“ _Edward_...”

 As the hot spray beat down, he fisted my wet hair and slammed his mouth to mine in a kiss that flamed through my entire body like crackling fire. My tongue reached for his, craving union; when they met, the adrenalin jolt of desire that coursed through me made my stomach clench in anticipation of more. I held his ass firmly, rotating my hips to further entice him in this dance of desire. When he broke the kiss I was dizzy with need, each breath feeling as if it were being literally torn from my lungs.

His voice was rough, but adoring.

“Are you sore from last night?”

I shook my head, my chest heaving.

“A little, but not enough to say ‘no’ to you.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

When he reached into the rack for the lube and a foil packet, I turned around and leant my forearms against the tile, bending to give him greater access. Expecting his fingers, I shuddered with pleasure when his tongue fluttered against my hole; his fingers gently spreading me open as he loved me with his mouth. Pleasure radiated out from my entrance as his warm tongue caressed the delicate flesh, relaxing the muscle to ease his way. It took no time at all before he was able to slide two wet fingers into me, scissoring gently until a third heavily lubed finger could finally join them. Soft moans filled the steamy room as he worked my muscles readying me for more, and when I felt the head of his beautiful cock press into me, so very slowly, I felt nothing but joy. When his balls were against my ass he stilled, his hand reaching around to grasp my straining erection as he planted heavy kisses and bites to my deltoids. My body jerked as he swept his thumb over my tip, and he released me to place both hands on my hips, gripping my wet skin tightly.

True to his word, he withdrew and re entered my body with slow, deliberate moves, barely more than a rocking motion at first, until he felt my body move in encouragement. I felt him increase his pace, moving a little more forcefully, pausing only once to drip more lube on to his shaft for my comfort. My orgasm started to coil in my stomach when Edward changed his angle of penetration a fraction; he now brushed my gland on each thrust and I was moaning repeatedly as his arms wound around my waist to pull me into a more upright pose. He kissed and bit along my neck, reaching up to twist my nipples as he surged in and out of my body and I felt my orgasm approaching fast like a juggernaut. I turned my head and, in between gasps, asked him for what I needed.

“Edward, my love, I want to come in your mouth.”

He withdrew carefully and kissed me before kneeling, capturing my rearing cock in between his reddened lips. I thrust into his mouth and on into the opening of his throat; his green eyes locked with mine, the spray raining down on his upturned face as I exploded into his hot mouth, crying out his name in ecstasy. He licked me clean before the water could steal what was his, my legs almost buckling with the pleasure. He moved swiftly round behind me to hold my body in position, stroking my back tenderly as he positioned himself to re-enter me. This time it was purely for his own gratification, and I arched my back as he slid home, his balls slapping against my ass. He built a fast rhythm, and it was mere seconds before I felt him pulse inside me, filling the condom and screaming his release as his arms held me flush against his heat. When our bodies regretfully parted, I pulled him in for a series of slow kisses punctuated with soft murmurs of love and devotion.

~xxXxx~

As I sipped my coffee, I turned to Edward.

“I think it would be best if I go and speak to Esme alone today.”

He threw me a questioning look over his bowl of granola.

“I need to have a long talk with her about all this and I honestly feel she will feel more comfortable if it’s just the two of us at this point. Are you okay with that?” I looked at him searchingly.

He took a long swallow of coffee. “It’s fine; I get it, I really do. I guess this isn’t the best time for me to try and win her over.” He smiled, a sad look in his eyes, and I felt his frustration. “It’s okay; I’ll give Emm a call, see if he’s heard of any cars for me.”

He reached for his cell as I rinsed out the breakfast dishes. I could only hear Edward’s side of the conversation, but by the time he hung up he was smiling.

“Emm knows of a couple of good cars for me. He’s gonna swing by in an hour.”

I grinned. “What are the chances that one of them is a jeep?”

He rolled his eyes. “I think we _both_ know the answer to that.”

~xxXxx~

An hour later I was driving over to see Esme. I had no idea what I was going to say to her; our daughter had clearly tried to cover her tracks. I fervently hoped that she would come clean at last and be the grownup I so needed her to be right now. Pulling up outside, I killed the engine and sat back for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Acutely aware that Esme’s neighbours might be watching, I made my way to the front door and knocked sharply. She appeared, looking slightly less polished than usual. Alarm bells started to ring.

“Carlisle, sweetheart! Come in, come in.”

I followed her in and closed the door, hugging her in greeting before following her into the lounge room and taking a seat on the couch. She frowned as she sat down in her armchair.

“Is everything alright with you and Edward? You seem ... preoccupied.”

I sighed. I knew then that she had no idea what was going on.

“Esme, darling, I’m guessing there’s a lot going on that you aren’t up to speed with.” She pulled a face, her eyebrows rising.

“Such as?”

“Edward and I went to the bar Wednesday evening. Clearly only Edward was expected, as there was a girl there who tried very hard to seduce him. When I walked in, the girl said something totally unexpected. She said she didn’t know it was _me_ that Edward was dating; only that it was a man. It turned out that Lauren was there with friends and had tried to set Edward up to lure him away from me. It backfired on her as her friends now know who Edward is _really_ dating. They were bullying her, Esme. I know she brought it on herself, but when we both confronted her outside, she eventually confessed that she hadn’t slept with Edward – that it was all a lie. Not before claiming to be pregnant, of course; one last desperate attempt to win him back.”

I saw the horrified look on Esme’s face. I laughed humourlessly.

“Don’t worry; she changed her mind quickly enough when I appeared and offered her a sonogram.”

 Esme was pale, her hands twisting agitatedly. I wasn’t looking forward to the next part of this discussion.

“I thought we were all okay after that; that we could bury the past and move on. But unfortunately...” She looked up at me sharply.

“There’s more? What more can she possibly have done, Carlisle? She has humiliated both herself and you. She has made me ashamed to be her mother. What more can there be?” Her voice was rising and I knew I had to tread carefully. I breathed deeply to steady myself before plunging onward.

“Edward and I went away for a couple of days after that. When we came home, Alice and Rosalie came over. Esme...” I fisted my hair, realising I was picking up on Edward’s nervous habit. “Esme, Lauren had been to the hospital the day before the incident in the bar.”

Before I could explain, Esme jumped in.

“The hospital? Is she okay? Why was she there? What aren’t you telling me?”

I held up my hands in defence and she visibly calmed herself, her hands wavering over her knees as she breathed. I carried on talking.

“She’s fine. It’s what she did while she was there...” I started to explain the whole sorry tale, from the angry, misled patients to the homophobic backlash. She winced frequently as I recounted the facts as they stood. When I mentioned that the Chief was aware, she relaxed, sure that he would deal with the matter. That was when I handed her the newspaper articles, and she saw for herself just how far out of hand this situation had gotten. Her eyes widened with worry when she saw my picture, and she was silent as she read them both in their entirety. Looking up, her voice was faint, her face white as chalk.

“And all this is because of our daughter? Oh Carlisle...” I was shocked to see tears roll down her cheeks, her hands shaking as she smoothed the newspaper repeatedly across her knees, knowing full well just how badly she wanted to rip it to shreds.

“You never saw the papers did you? I knew it. When Alice told me about this, I wondered why there was no message from you on the answer machine or my cell.”

“No; we haven’t had the papers for nearly a week. I complained to the store about it. No one mentioned a thing to me. But you said you two had made up – I don’t understand all this...” She wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands before plucking a tissue from the nearby box. I swallowed hard, feeling guilt riding heavy on my shoulders.

“Without speaking to her, our best guess is that she thought all this would blow over and we wouldn’t find out. I can’t imagine for a moment that she intended the papers to get a hold of this, can you? Edward has concluded that she wanted to embarrass us, to make us feel as humiliated as she does. It makes sense.”

Sniffing delicately, Esme looked up.

“Why didn’t you bring him today? This affects him too – you’ll both be openly outed when this is all done. I know his name isn’t mentioned directly in the papers, but still...”

I looked at her in surprise.

“I didn’t think you’d be comfortable discussing private family business with him here; you two have no real relationship yet.”

“All the more reason to bring him, Carlisle. And if you and he are serious, which I suspect you are, then he _is_ family and we need to talk sooner rather than later, don’t you think?”

I nodded sheepishly. As always, Esme’s logic was impeccable and humbling. She had accepted Edward because he was with me and because she trusted my judgment. I felt rather embarrassed that I had suggested Edward not come. _I have some apologising to do._

“He’s going to stand alongside me during all this, even though it does mean outing himself at the same time. He says that all the important people in Seattle already know, and he will be speaking to his mother; it’s a done deal. I am so proud of him. I didn’t dare dream that he would do this for me.”

Esme smiled warmly, but then her face fell.

“Carlisle, what’s going to happen to you? Is your job secure? Can you continue to practice here in Seattle?” Her face was creased with worry.

“I have a meeting with the Chief and the hospital legal team tomorrow morning. They have all the paperwork that concerns Edward’s care; there won’t be a problem there. They anticipate a three day suspension while this is all sorted out, and a press call. The damage is to mine and the hospital’s reputations. Mud sticks, and I may get patients refusing to let me treat them. There’s also the matter of a lot of hospital staff looking at me in a whole new light.” I sighed. I would never be comfortable with my private life on show. “It’s going to be like living in a fishbowl; now I know how the fish in the aquarium feel.”

“Pish!”

I looked up and saw her shaking her head at me.

“Carlisle, when all this is over, you will have Edward. Isn’t that worth a little discomfort and embarrassment? What I want to know is whether you will be moving hospitals.”

 I took a deep breath.

“I don’t plan to. Edward’s work is here, and our friends and family. It isn’t ideal, but we may have to muddle though and wait for the storm to pass.”

“So what’s happening while you are suspended? You must be lonely without Edward there.”

He goes back to work tomorrow anyway, so I won’t be seeing much of him. _But..._ he’s going to stay on a few more days until the dust has settled.”

“He’s staying?”

“Just for the three days.... _what?!_ ” She was trying and failing to hold in a smug grin.

“Nothing! Just thinking about how comfortable you two are living together. He’s getting used to being there with you; it’s like you’ve been together for months already.”

I chuckled, the smile spreading over my face.

“I love having him there when I wake up, Esme, I can’t deny it. But I’ll adjust when he moves back home; I know he’s keen to get back to his own place. He’d have the piano there if he could.”

“What piano? Since when did you have a piano?”

“Since yesterday! It’s for him to practice. He has such talent and nowhere to play, so I rented one for him.”

Esme’s eyebrows were in her hair, her eyes dancing.

“Oh, Carlisle, you _do_ have it bad!”

I shook my head.

“You wait until you hear him. He will move you to tears.”

She looked sceptical, as she always was where Edward Masen was concerned. She lapsed into silence; when she spoke again her voice was serious.

“I’m worried about Lauren.”

“You’re not alone there. She’s banned from the hospital unless accompanied by one of us. The Chief was very clear on that point when we spoke on the phone. Her behaviour was deliberate and planned.”

Esme sighed heavily.

“This is more than acting out. Something is very wrong; there has to be more to this than jealousy. She’s been so quiet, so pale. When you mentioned her turning up at the hospital I immediately thought the worst. She hardly eats and her sleep pattern is erratic and patchy. I’ve asked her what’s wrong, but she won’t talk about it. Do you think she needs to talk to someone? Like a ... professional?” Her voice cracked.

“Maybe it would help. I can make some calls.” My hand was in my hair again. “Our private lives are going to be completely blown open after this.”

She gave me a sad smile.

~xxXxx~

THE FOLLOWING DAY

 

Walking through the hospital doors, I held my head high as I approached the elevator. A few people nodded at me as I passed, and I let out a sigh of relief as the doors closed without incident. Arriving at my floor, I felt the first prickle of apprehension as I stepped out into the ward, feeling the eyes of the room focusing on me as I walked calmly down the corridor, the chatter quietening as I passed. I smiled at Alice and Rosalie who gave me a subtle ‘okay’ sign as I headed to the Chief’s office.

Knocking and waiting, I heard the ‘Come in’ and opened the door to voices within. The Chief was there along with a guy I wasn’t familiar with. _Must be the new guy._ Stepping forward, he held out his hand to me, a confident, genuine smile on his face.

“Dr Cullen? I’m Jasper Whitlock.”

I shook his hand, appraisingly. Smart suit (tailored, if I wasn’t mistaken), crisp shirt, short, dark blond hair left a little longer on the top to emphasise the wave, and green eyes not unlike Edward’s. I warmed to him immediately. It was clear in the way he swiftly and succinctly outlined the facts as they stood that he was very good at his job. There was the faintest hint of a Texan accent that I suspected would be a smash hit with the ladies in the hospital. I smiled to myself; overall Mr Whitlock was the whole package.

“We have reviewed all of the case notes for Mr Masen, and it is clear that you and he were not physician and patient. There is absolutely no evidenceto suggest malpractice, or indeed any kind of illegal activity. So, what now needs to be done is damage control both for the hospital’s reputation and for yours, Dr Cullen.”

I nodded.

“Is there anything you wish to add for the record?”

I looked him in the eye, not wanting there to be any misunderstanding.

“Only that Mr Masen and I are in a relationship that began prior to the accident that brought him into our ER. I’m sure that Edward would be happy to verify that if need be. When he was brought in immediately following the accident, I was terrified he might die. My good friends and colleagues Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale kept me updated on his condition; I wasn’t permitted to see him until after his surgery, much less treat him. I was just another worried relative praying for my partner’s recovery.”

If my openly admitting my orientation surprised him, he didn’t show it. He jotted down a few words and looked up at me with a reassuring smile.

“Leave it to us, Doctor. By the way, how is Mr Masen doing?”

“He’s well, thank you. All signs of concussion have disappeared and his wound has healed well. He started back at work today, in fact.”

Whitlock nodded. “Good. Living with a doctor must’ve been a blessing for him.”

I chuckled. “Getting him to relax during his recuperation wasn’t – he isn’t an easy patient. But don’t be mistaken, he doesn’t live with me. I asked him to stay when he was released from hospital so I could check on him more easily. He’s staying on until this unpleasantness is resolved and then returning home to his own apartment; he’s very independent.”

I tried to keep the note of sadness out of my voice.

“Well, okay!” He shut his notes, decisively. “So, Doctor, I’ll be in touch once I have this under control. Chief?”

I turned too; waiting for the official line I knew was coming.

“Carlisle, until this investigation is officially completed, you are formally suspended. The lawyers anticipate this taking around three days. You will be advised when you are able to return to work.”

Interview over, I shook hands with Jasper Whitlock and the Chief, leaving the office to return to my quiet, empty house.

~xxXxx~

**JPOV**

_That guy is a professional, right down to his polished shoes._

Reading the case notes for Mr Masen, it was immediately apparent that Dr Anders had been the only physician to treat him during his stay at Seattle General. No mention was made of Doctor Cullen in the entire detailed record. The nurses listed would be interviewed next and I fully expected them to verify that fact.

_What a strange case. No evidence to point to malpractice. What on earth happened here? Such a waste of company time and hospital money._

Dr Cullen did not appear nervous or jumpy as was often the case. His information had been given frankly and honestly, no sign of insincerity. Good eye contact, clear voice, no anxious smoothing of clothes or fiddling with cuffs.

_The way his eyes lit up when I asked about Edward; clearly a man very much in love._

I had been told that it was his own daughter who made the accusations against him, something I found particularly hard to swallow. No reason was given as to why she would make such claims, especially when they were blatantly untrue. They had however caused much consternation amongst the Board members.

Looking at my papers, I checked the ages; quite a gap. I smiled to myself.

_How wonderful to find someone who makes you so obviously happy. Perhaps that was it: his daughter was jealous of Daddy having a young, handsome boyfriend._

I could see the attraction. Carlisle Cullen was a very attractive, charismatic man, and rather reminded me of a professor at law school. Mentally shaking myself, I looked down at the list of nurses’ names on my pad. I opened the door to call my next member of staff and found a dark haired angel standing before me. She smiled shyly, and I enquired as to her name.

“Alice Brandon, sir.” Her voice was lilting and musical and I beckoned her inside, trying hard not to stare at her in a way that was decidedly _not_ professional.

She sat down in the empty chair, and I cleared my throat.  I started to speak, absurdly uncomfortable, my collar feeling too tight, my jacket heavy and hot, my whole body feeling restricted and confined. I could feel her eyes watching me closely, seeing my discomfort.

“Good morning, Nurse Brandon, my name is Jasper Whitlock. I’m the lawyer for the malpractice accusations against Dr Cullen and Seattle General.”

She nodded, her eyes luminous in her small face. I shook myself mentally and started asking my questions. She replied in that sweet voice, hesitating until I clarified that I was knew of the relationship between Mr Masen and Dr Cullen. Relaxing visibly, she answered my questions, telling me of Dr Cullen’s hospital vigil after the accident and how he had slept in his office as he waited for news. She explained how she and Nurse Hale had arranged for Mr Masen to have a private room so that Dr Cullen could visit privately, away from prying eyes; how he had not left the hospital until he knew Mr Masen was out of danger.

Her devotion to the doctor was clear, and so I enquired as to their personal relationship. She told of their long friendship stretching back to when Dr Cullen had first transferred to the hospital from Forks with his long-term partner. She, Nurse Hale and another nurse, Alistair Byrne, had all socialised with them; more tellingly, she haltingly revealed how instrumental they had all been in supporting him when his partner passed away.

We talked a little more about his conduct, his patient record and whether he had any other complaints made against him during his time in Seattle. Nurse Brandon’s demeanour turned rather frosty at what she interpreted as an inferred accusation. The Chief confirmed there had been no other incidents or complaints against the doctor during his time at Seattle General; his record was clean.

When I asked about his daughter, Lauren Cullen, who had allegedly started this whole inquiry by making allegations in a crowded public waiting area, I sensed a shift in mood from Nurse Brandon. She appeared both angry and a little sad. To me, the reasons for this outburst were unclear, and I questioned the nurse as to why she believed this girl would do such a thing. Her voice faltered as she showed signs of genuine distress; her tone, however, was icy.

“I don’t want to discuss that. If you seriously need to know then I respectfully suggest you speak to Dr Cullen.” My interest was piqued. The Chief looked surprised at Alice’s tone, leading me to believe that this side of Nurse Brandon was not often shown.

“I’m sorry. May I just ask: is the reason relevant to this inquiry? If it is then I will need to know. What drives a daughter to do this to her father?”

Her pretty face crumpled and she shook her head. “I can’t discuss that. I was told in confidence. Please talk to Dr Cullen if you must. It’s not something he wants the world to know about. It’s too personal.”

She looked to the Chief who spoke kindly.

“It’s alright, Alice. I understand your position. I will speak to Carlisle myself.”

He turned to me.

“Is that acceptable, Jasper? If it is relevant then I will pass on the information.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

I turned to Nurse Brandon, _Alice,_ and held out my hand.

“Thank you for your time.”

She shook my proffered hand tentatively, blushing at my smile and holding my hand a little longer than strictly necessary. I looked down before meeting her eyes again, feeling like a schoolboy with his first crush. Finally releasing her hand, I cleared my throat.

“Could you send in Nurse Hale?”

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970 who keeps me on track and provides much needed inspiration in times of need.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	13. Chapter 13

**EPOV**

I wondered at Carlisle’s change of heart. I thought we were tackling this together, but now he was shutting me out, excluding me from their ‘family’ business. That stung.

Hearing Emmett pull up, I headed out to meet him, glad of the distraction. He was beaming, happy to have an excuse to leave the paperwork behind for a while and also an opportunity to rib me about my vehicular choices, no doubt.

“Hey, dude!” He clapped me on the shoulder, his huge hand nearly knocking me sideways. I grinned at him.

“So, what are looking at today? Must be private sales, as it’s Sunday and there’s nowhere else open.”

“I lined up some possibilities earlier in the week for you, remember? If none of those are suitable then we’ll keep looking til we find something you like. I’ll look ‘em over for you; I know what I’m doing and I maintain this baby myself.” He caressed the dash lovingly.

I snorted.

“Do you two want to be alone?”

He laughed easily, throwing the jeep into gear and pulling away.

“So do you need me to test drive ‘em for you?” He raised a questioning eyebrow.

I shook my head. “No, I’m good now, thanks. I’m looking forward to getting back behind the wheel.”

He nodded. “That’s good. Getting back on the horse is the best thing to do.”

I smiled to myself, relaxing back into the comfortable seat. After a few minutes of silence, each thinking our own thoughts, I decided to ask the burning question.

“So how was the concert? I haven’t seen you since Wednesday. I thought you’d be regaling me with stories of the night by now. I’m guessing Rosalie let you down gently after the date? You know, gave you the whole ‘let’s be friends’ spiel?”

I wound him up mercilessly and with total confidence knowing that there was absolutely no way Rosalie had blown him out. Women loved Emmett; he was so respectful to them, not to mention his good looks and physique which didn’t hurt the odds any. I reckoned he could be a model if he chose to. Knowing Emm, it had probably never crossed his mind; he wasn’t a vain guy, despite his love affair with the gym. I started slightly, looking at him curiously. No – no attraction there. He was simply a friend who happened to be a stunning specimen of manhood. I chuckled inwardly; at least our friendship was secure, and it further confirmed what I had told Carlisle this morning.

Just thinking about him made my heart fly, before plummeting to earth as I remembered this morning’s conversation.

_I’ll deal with that later._

Meanwhile, Emmett was grinning like a fool – a good sign.

“It was awesome! I don’t remember much of the band; I spent the night trying not to stare at Rosie!”

_Rosie?_

“So she was happy about the surprise?”

“Oh, man, she was ecstatic! I don’t think she really believed it until she saw the signs outside the venue. She held my hand from that moment on, and hardly let go all night.” 

I swear he was going mushy right in front of my eyes. I tried to look shocked, I really did, but the corners of my mouth were twitching.

“Are you actually telling me that she agreed to a second date?”

“You bet. I was so tongue-tied that I almost didn’t ask, but then _she_ asked _me_!” His face was even more animated than usual.

“She took my breath away, Ed; just dressed casually in jeans and a soft, red sweater, she was a goddess. I felt unworthy of her, until some guy tried to pick her up right in front of me. She put her arm around my waist and glared at him until he backed off! I was as stunned as he was! She spent the rest of the concert leaning back against me, swaying to the music. I could smell her hair every time she moved, feel her warmth under my hands; it was the best first date I ever had. After I walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight, she asked when we were going out again and I think I mumbled something. Anyhow, she laughed and said there was a car show on that she really wanted to go to; a _car_ show! I’ve found the perfect woman, Ed. Rosie is it.”

He radiated happiness like sun on a winter day, and I fist bumped his shoulder to show my support. He looked at me sideways, his eyes dancing.

“Who’d have thought it; both of us happy with new partners at the same time? Everything is finally coming right for us.”

I smiled, keeping silent.

Emmett noticed, but, before he could ask, we arrived at our first designated stop on the crazy train called ‘Let’s Find Edward a Car’. The first car we saw was a newer model of my beloved old Subaru. It didn’t look too bad at all but, on closer inspection, Emmett noticed it needed a lot of welding work done and there was a troublesome leak in the trunk. We decided to pass. The second place had a couple of potentials according to Emmett, but when we arrived the first thing I saw was a Wrangler Jeep and I snorted with laughter, remembering Carlisle’s comment. Emmett looked at me questioningly and I just shook my head, chuckling.

“Sorry, Em, not gonna happen.”

He shrugged, a grin plastered on his face. “Worth a try.”

The other model was a Ford, a nice, clean example of its type, smooth sounding engine and good performance.  After the test drive, I could see Emmett’s mind working.

“Seriously, Ed. This? But not the Wrangler?”

“It’s good, but I’m not 100% sold on it. Are there any more to see?”

He nodded, and promised the buyer we’d confirm one way or another, later that day.

The last place on the list was in a very classy part of town. In fact, when we arrived I was convinced we were in the wrong place, but Emm jumped out and left me to follow. When I caught up with him, he turned.

“I got wind of this one just yesterday and thought it might be worth a look.” His spoke under his breath although, as yet, no one had appeared. Then I heard the whirr of an electric motor and the garage door opened to reveal two vehicles within, both polished and gleaming. A lady appeared from a side door, all smiles, and greeted Emmett.

“Mr McCarty? We spoke on the phone. This is the one for sale; as you can see I’ve gone for the new model, and the other is now surplus to requirements. I could have traded it in, but I thought I’d probably do better with a private sale. Those salesmen want you to virtually _give_ them the car, you know.” She tutted under her breath as she led us over to a black Volvo that looked to be perfectly maintained and I saw that it was only four years old. Finding my voice, I spoke at last.

“Excuse me, ma’am, it looks like new. How many miles has it done?” She gave me the figure and I gaped before closing my mouth abruptly. She must’ve thought I wasn’t keen, as she went on to explain.

“I do the shopping twice a week and I go see my sister once a month, so it all adds up.”

“Yes, ma’am, it does.” I was always polite, but inside I was jigging with happiness. This car was almost new, had virtually no mileage on it to speak of, and yet somehow the owner thought I might not be interested! Of course, there was the small matter of the price, something I was going to leave to Emmett. I knew what my insurance company were likely to pay for mine and it was a pittance, the minimum payout they could make due to the age of the car. I had some savings, but probably not enough for this. I knew Emm had offered to help, but I feared I would need to borrow too much. Emm was checking the engine and asking about service history and documents. When he turned to me, jangling the keys, I jumped.

“Want to give her a try?” You bet I did!

The car handled like a dream as well it should as it was barely run in. I told Emmett how much money I had, and how much I was likely to get in compensation from the insurance company. He didn’t flinch when I told him I wouldn’t accept much from him as the last thing I needed was debt. I let him negotiate as I was sure that, left to me, I would pay exactly what the lady asked for without question. Emmett wouldn’t scam her, it wasn’t his style, but he would negotiate in order to show his interest. The end result was I bought a car for more than I could afford, but which was worth considerably more that it cost. Driving home, I was a little shell-shocked and Emmett just laughed, saying I was to pay him back when I could. I promised him the insurance money as soon as it hit my account. Now all I had to do was arrange fresh insurance and I could go pick up my new baby.

As I thought through what I needed to do, Emmett broke the mood.

“What’s up with you and the doc?” I looked up sharply.

“We’re okay, it’s nothing.”

“It’s something. You two have an argument?”

“No; he just...” I grimaced.

“Go on.”

“He didn’t want me to go to Esme’s with him. He said it would be best if it was just... family.”

Emmett fell silent for a moment, a pensive look on his face.

“He said that?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say? Did you call him on it?”

“No, I said it was okay, and then I called you. I need time to think about it, and whether it’s simply a case of he isn’t ready for me to be a part of his family yet. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry. I just don’t want to come over as a petulant, whiny child who didn’t get his own way. I want us to be equals.” I half laughed. “As equal as a surgeon and a bartender can ever be, that is.”

“You know he doesn’t think like that.”

I sighed. “Yeah I do. I’m just venting.”

Emmett smirked. “Venting involves raised voices and high octane emotion, usually ending in something being thrown or broken. I should know; I’ve witnessed it first hand when I forget a birthday or anniversary.”

I choked out a laugh. “What can I say – I’ve grown.”

Sensing my lack of enthusiasm, he unwittingly changed the subject to another delicate matter.

“What are you doing for your birthday? We’ve only got a week to decide. Has Carlisle got anything planned for it?”

“Nothing; he ... uhm... doesn’t know. At least I don’t think he does.”

“ _Edward!_ It’s your 21 st! You _have_ to celebrate it – it’s like an unwritten law! If you don’t end the night in a total mess, unable to remember who you are, then I’ve failed as your friend...” He tailed off, clapping his hand over his mouth. “Edward, I’m so sorry. I forgot for a moment.”

“It’s okay!” I slapped his shoulder. “Memory loss, however it’s caused, isn’t something I want to experience again anytime soon.”

“I’m sorry, dude. I open my mouth without engaging my brain sometimes.” He shook his head ruefully.”Rosie doesn’t know what she’s letting herself in for.” I laughed this time.

“I’m sure she’ll work it out soon enough!”

“I just hope she still likes me after she does.” His head drooped. “So – your birthday; what are we doing?”

I shrugged.

“With Carlisle’s suspension and all the crap in the papers about us, I’m willing to forget about it this year.” I looked at Emm, and seeing his puzzled expression made me realise he didn’t know. I shook my head.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m back at work tomorrow, remember? I’ll explain the whole sorry story then.”

“Okay, you make sure you do. Now, are you telling the doc? He’s gonna be hurt if you hide this from him.”

I stayed silent, racked with indecision.

~xxXxx~

He dropped me outside the house, and I saw Carlisle’s Mercedes in the driveway. I told Emm I’d see him in the morning and we’d sort out the collection of my new car then. Thanking him, I jumped out and made my way inside.

I walked into the kitchen, pulling out a chair and sitting down with a sigh, my hands clasping the back of my neck, my head sinking down. I heard him come in, not speaking immediately as he approached the table and sat down opposite me. I didn’t look up, feeling the awkwardness settling around us.

_Not good; we’ve never been awkward before._

He broke the deafening silence first, just as I could bear it no longer.

“Edward, I was wrong, and I am so sorry.”

I glanced up then, my brow furrowing in surprise. He continued, looking like he needed to get this out before he lost his impetus.

“Esme made me see sense. She was less than impressed that I didn’t let you come today; she put me in my place and she was 100% right in what she said. We should be united in this; this is family business and you are family now. When I think back to what you said this morning, I’m so ashamed. I’ve gotten so used to dealing with these things alone that I forget I have support now...” He shook his head, eyes tight, his hands moving restlessly on the table top. “Forgive me?”

I half smiled, looking at him under my lashes.

“It’s okay. I do understand, you know. You made a bad call, and you won’t be doing _that_ again, will you?” I arched an eyebrow and saw his face sag with relief at my forgiveness.”We’re a team, you and me. Don’t forget it.”

His hand reached for mine.

“Never again, I swear.”  I squeezed his fingers as I bit my lip, heat rising in my cheeks.

“Good. You know I’ll hold you to that. So, uhm... I have a confession...”

He looked momentarily worried until he saw my blush.

“I ...ah...didn’t want to say anything, but Emmett pushed the issue, and I know him well enough to guarantee that he will if I don’t; especially if he sees you in the bar this week.”

I was babbling. Carlisle looked bemused.

“Okay, slow down. Should I be worried?”

“No! No! It’s nothing bad. It’s just that next Sunday is...” I swallowed, hating this, “my 21st birthday, and Emm wants to-” I was stopped short by Carlisle pulling me into a kiss across the small table; “...celebrate...” I finished weakly as the kiss broke.

“What do you want to do?” He looked at me, his eyes bright.

I shrugged. “I’ve honestly no clue. I’m in no mood to get drunk off my face and forget the whole event. I’ve had enough forgetting to last me a lifetime. Maybe a beer or two wouldn’t hurt though.” I grinned.

“Well, I have some time this week while you’re working to figure something out. Do you trust me?” He narrowed his eyes and I burst out laughing, all traces of tension dissipating in that moment.

“Of course I do. So – do you want to hear my other news?”

I told him about my afternoon with Emmett and the car we had bought. He was relieved that I had bought a safer model and chuckled for some time when I revealed that one of the cars had indeed been a Wrangler Jeep.

“Told you!” he snorted with laughter, and I started to giggle uncontrollably, his mirth contagious.

“He certainly doesn’t give up. Oh, and you’ll be pleased to know that he and Rosalie, or should I say ‘ _Rosie_ ’...” I raised my eyebrows with a smirk, “have a second date lined up. Despite him being a total dork at times, the guy always gets the girl and I’m happy for him. He’s really smitten.”

As our laughter finally ebbed away, I looked at him and broached the subject of the elephant in the room that couldn’t be ignored.

“So... how’d it go with Esme?”

~xxXxx~

 

**Esme’s POV**

I watched Carlisle drive away, marvelling at his composure in the face of adversity. I knew the calm exterior was a front, something he was practised in as an essential part of his job, but nevertheless I admired it. I was a mess; hair poorly styled in case of visitors, makeup hastily applied for the same reasons. Left to my own devices today I would have stayed in bed. Sharing the worry with Carlisle had helped ease it a fraction, but his fresh news had also inadvertently worsened it.

I shook my head. I wasn’t a weak person; I had endured both divorce and bereavement, as had Carlisle, but this trauma with Lauren had me wanting to curl up and weep. She was distant, moody and churlish and I was at a loss as to what to do next; Lauren needed help, that much was clear. This sort of behaviour was off the scale and I wondered if the Edward situation had flipped some switch in her that she herself could not reverse.

I waited, my chest tight and my breaths shallow, as I prepared to tackle the problem head on.

Watching through the window, I saw her approach the front door slowly, her feet dragging as if weighted down by rocks. I sat quietly, fighting to breathe normally, trying to focus. The door clicked open and closed, and a pale, washed out version of my daughter walked in, starting slightly when she saw me. When her eyes met mine they slid away, and I wondered exactly when my daughter had become unable to maintain eye contact with me; we had always been so close. She turned without a word and headed up to her room and I followed. She looked startled to see me in the doorway, indignation quickly taking centre stage. I had expected this, and so I spoke first.

“Sit down, sweetheart. We need to have a serious talk.”

I saw the spark of defiance flare in her eyes.

“Your father was here earlier. I think you know why.”

She paled at my words.

“Make me understand, Lauren. Make me understand why your father is at the centre of a malpractice suit, why he is in the papers with his private life exposed to the world and his job on the line. And most importantly of all, make me understand why his _own daughter_ is the one responsible for this.”

She wouldn’t look at me. I felt my anger blaze and fought to keep it under control, knowing that I had no chance with her if I let it loose. I had never laid a finger on my daughter in anger, but at that moment I felt my nails dig into my palms.

_“Tell me!”_

She studied the wall fixedly, completely unresponsive. Then her head turned.

“He deserves it. They both do.”

I felt my blood pound in my head.

“How can you _still_ say that? How can you justify ruining his career because he fell in love? And Edward too – this has to be hard enough for him, embarking on a relationship with a man, without it being splashed across the papers. They have enough obstacles to overcome without you adding _more._ ”I paced a circle, unable to remain still _._ “Did you know that your father is being accused of the most awful things? Did you even read those papers that you hid from me? They are cheapening his reputation by accusing him of sleeping around, Lauren – your devoted, loving father, the man who grieved for Marcus for three solid years.”

She didn’t even flinch and I feared that I might not be able to reach her at all. The thought scared me.

“What you are doing to him is evil; he doesn’t deserve this pain. You and Edward were never likely to last, you’re so young. You will meet someone new, someone far better suited to you; why try to hang on to Edward? He doesn’t _want_ you – he told you himself. He was honest with you; the relationship had run its course. It was time. Let him go and move on.”

She stared at me then, eyes dull and empty; emotionless. I felt a chill at that stare. Where was the anger? Where was the fire? My daughter had an answer for everything; something was very wrong here. I spoke, hesitantly.

“Your father and I think you should see someone. A professional.”

There was the barest flicker of life in her eyes then.

“A shrink? Is that your answer?” She gave the barest echo of a laugh. “Go ahead, try. It won’t help; nothing can.”

“It will, Lauren. With time we’ll get to the bottom of this; fix whatever’s wrong.” I could feel tears threaten and I struggled to maintain my composure. “My darling, why aren’t you sleeping? I hear you crying in the night. You hardly eat, you’re losing weight – I can see it. Are you anorexic? Are you being bullied by those girls? Tell me it isn’t some dangerous new diet. Lauren, I’m your mother; why won’t you talk to me? Help me understand. _Please._ ”

I sank down onto her bed, my hands cupped over my face. My voice was strained when I spoke again.

“What did you hope to gain from telling those awful lies in the hospital? Did you plan this from the start or was it just some whim you acted on? There are lawyers involved now, and the Chief of Emergency Medicine has to publicly defend the hospital; your father will have to make a statement to the press. This is beyond serious – don’t you understand?”

When she merely shrugged again, my nails dug into my palms. I had one weapon left in my armoury, even if it would never ever happen.

“Lauren, your father could sue you for slander. You could be arrested.”

She blinked.

“Your life could be ruined before it even starts.”

_Tell me, sweetheart, please._

Her eyes bored into mine as she spoke, her voice so forlorn and defeated that I felt tears prick my eyes.

“It already is.”

~xxXxx~

 

**EPOV**

Waking up the next morning, I found the bed next to me empty, the pillow cold. Sliding my legs out, I reached for my robe and went looking for him, finally tracking him down in the garden, a cup of tea in hand. He heard my approach and smiled when I slid my arms around his waist, my chin resting on his shoulder.

“How long have you been up? The bed’s cold.”

His voice was calm, belying his true feelings.

“I couldn’t sleep; I came out here and watched the sun come up. It was so beautiful and peaceful; I should do it more often.”

“Don’t worry about today. It’s a formality, that’s all. If you need to talk after, come to the bar.”

I kissed his neck and he turned around, his smile lighting up his face as he pulled me tightly into his arms.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. And I have a birthday surprise to plan, so I’ll be busy!”

I grinned.

“Let’s not go overboard with that. Just a few quiet drinks will be fine. Feel free to bring Alice and Rose if they want to come. I like those girls; they love you almost as much as I do.”

“I’ll tell them you said that.” He chuckled, before brushing my lips with his, his nose nuzzling mine. “If you go get ready I’ll drop you at the bar on my way to the hospital.”

I looked at his watch.

“You let me sleep late?”

“You looked so peaceful. Besides – you have plenty of time. I’ll make you a tea.”

When I had showered and changed, I drank my tea and ate some toast before joining Carlisle in the car. He looked handsome, and I hoped that if there were any press lurking around they would at least get a shot of him looking his best. With luck that wouldn’t happen; hopefully the legal team had already prevented this from being picked up by a more major paper. I sighed, and he looked at me.

“I’ll be back home in a couple of hours, don’t worry. I’ll come get you when you finish up tonight – 11.30?”

“Should be, by the time I’ve finished clearing up. If it changes I’ll text you. Mondays are usually quiet; it’ll give me a chance to fill Emmett in on the goings-on. He’s coming in today to make sure I’m okay, and in case there’s any trouble.”

I yawned and stretched as we pulled into the parking lot.

“Okay, here we go; back to reality.” I leaned in and kissed him, pouring all my love into that one kiss to get him through the day ahead. Resting his forehead against mine for moment, he breathed deep and pulled back.

“Great – turn me on and send me off to a legal inquiry. I never realised you were so cruel!”

I sniggered.

“I thought it might give you something else to focus on!” Leaning in, I kissed him once more, briefly this time, and jumped out of the car, winking at him through the window as I walked away. As he drove out of the lot I remembered the last time I’d waved him off here, and how this time I knew for sure that we’d still be together when the day ended.

As I turned and walked into the bar, smiling to myself, I heard the shout from the back room.

“That you, Ed? So get in here and tell me just what the fuck has been going on.”

_Oh, boy..._

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	14. Chapter 14

**EPOV**

“Yeah, Emm, of course it’s me. Who else were you expecting?”

His laugh echoed through from the office.

“So get in here and fill me in on this suspension you were talking about. Is the doc okay? I don’t read the local rag and I’ve obviously missed something important.”

Walking into the small room, I pulled out a chair and flopped into it. I breathed deep, exhaling in a loud whoosh, my fingers drawing agitated patterns on the desktop.

“Well, remember what happened in here Wednesday night, with Lauren and her friends...”

Emmett’s eyes widened as I talked, his mouth dropping open in shock. When I got to the part about the newspaper accusations, his hands balled into fists and his ears turned red as he turned to stare at a picture on the wall. His reaction was alarming and I intervened quickly.

“Cool it, Emm; it’s going to be alright. The legal team are on it. Carlisle’s with them this morning; there’s nothing you can do. When he makes his statement to the press after his name is cleared, I’m going to be standing alongside him for support. Guess it’s time to call my mom, huh?”

Emmett looked floored.

“Dude – you’re coming out on TV?” I could see his mind whirling before he shook his head with a small, quirked smile. With a great deal of relief, I saw his face start to return to a more healthy hue. “Why am I even questioning that? Of course you would; you love him.”  

My eyebrows rose slightly at his matter of fact statement; I was so proud to call him my friend.

“So, do you think my mom will be okay?”

He winced dramatically before grinning. He leaned forward on his elbows.

“One thing I know is that your mom adores her baby boy.” I whipped a cardboard coaster at him and he smirked as it bounced harmlessly off of his shoulder. “Dude, she’ll be happy if you are.”

I hoped so.

~xxXxx~

As the day wore on, I waited for word from Carlisle. I missed him; the bar was quiet and there was little for me to do but worry. When Riley came in for the evening shift, I took my second break of the day, deciding to take a walk to clear my head. My phone was resolutely silent and I could only assume no news was good news. Dropping him a brief inquiring text, I walked around to the nearby Subway and ordered a late lunch. As I was paying, my phone buzzed. Pocketing my change, I fished out my phone and read the message.

* **Miss you, love. Meeting was fine. Tell you later xx***

Seconds later, another text came in. I almost choked on my meatball marinara.

***Do you like chilli? Or am I hot enough for you?***

Trying to swallow and laugh at the same time caused a coughing fit that made my eyes water. Managing to text an affirmative response, I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. When my phoned buzzed a final time, I opened the message to see a simple, winking smiley face. I shook my head, a goofy smile spreading across my face at the absurdity. I had never taken Carlisle, the serious physician, as the type to send smileys. I oddly loved this contradiction in his character.

Walking to a quiet spot, I finished off my sub and pulled my insurance details out of my pocket. Tucked inside were the details of my new car. Grinning to myself, I made the call to my insurance company to give them the details of my new vehicle. They confirmed that the police report regarding the crash had already been sent to them, and the claim for my old Subaru was being processed. As I thought, I would only be paid the minimum amount for scrap value which made me realise I had secretly hoped for more. I knew Emmett would wait, but it would be a while before I could pay him back the money I owed. What with that, my rent, the piano, and the higher insurance on the Volvo, money was going to be stretched to the absolute limit. I could see me eating the left over peanuts out of the dishes each night just to keep going. Then again, maybe not; I saw the hygiene habits of the people who ate out of those and I wasn’t willing to risk it.

The evening crowd milled in: the after work drinkers, the quiet, lonely ones, and the younger, noisier crowd. It got lively for a while and we were pulling pints and mixing drinks non-stop.   In a brief moment of respite, I wiped down the bar, emptying and refilling the dishwasher as Riley cleared away the clean glasses for re-use. With my mind temporarily unoccupied with customers, I tried to bury my niggling worries by fantasising about getting Carlisle naked in the back seat of my new car.

_Let’s go...._ _before I break my promise to myself and drag you into the back seat of the Mercedes._

Those words rose unbidden from my memory of that night at the aquarium. I felt my body respond now as it had then, little shivers of pleasure arcing through me making my legs shake; my eyes closed and I gasped quietly at the mental image of Carlisle’s face as he rode out his orgasm, his hazel eyes dark and clouded as he impaled himself on my cock. It was during this lull that Riley plucked up the courage to ask me the question I could see had been gnawing away at him.

“Edward, you seriously dating that blond guy I saw you with?”

Caught off guard, I hauled my mind back to the job in hand and looked up at him, feeling awkward and a touch defensive.

“Yeah, I seriously am. It’s not gonna be a problem, is it? We’re okay?”

 “We’re good, man. I just never got the gay vibe from you, that’s all.”

I was taken aback by his comment. Seeing my face, he went red and tried to correct himself.

“You know what I mean. I thought you were all about the ladies, that’s all I meant.”

I stood still for a moment, biting my lip, before responding with total honesty.

“I was. Then I met _him_.”

I carried on loading the dishwasher. When I looked back I could see Riley’s face registering confusion.

“So, this is the new you? Gay, bisexual or whatever?”

Looking at him with a half smile, I gave him the only answer I had.

“There’s no need for a label, Rile. It’s just him, that’s all.” I felt my own blush stain my neck as I looked at him earnestly. “He’s the one.”

Riley nodded once, saying nothing more; conversation closed.

Closing time rolled around and Emmett and I finished up. I yawned and then laughed, apologising.

“Don’t worry, dude; it’s been a long one today. Riley’s taking early shift tomorrow and you can come in at lunchtime as usual. I appreciate today. Have you had the chance to sort your insurance? We could go get your car in the morning.”

“Yeah – did it today. What time? Oh, but I need to get to the bank first and draw out the cash I put aside. That okay?”

“Yeah, sure. But don’t worry about that tomorrow; the lady asked for a bankers cheque so I‘ve sorted that for you.”

I looked at him gratefully. My best friend had never let me down and I was so lucky to have him around.

He saw my face and grinned. “That’s settled then. I’ll call her in the morning and let her know we’re coming. Now, do you need a lift?”

I shook my head. “Carlisle’s picking me up.” Emmett gave me a cautious look.

“At least after tomorrow he won’t need to do that.” My smile wavered. “And you get to go home soon so everything will be back to normal.” I looked down, feeling my smile sputter like a dying candle, and then realised that Emmett was still speaking. “And, after all, that’s what you want, isn’t it?”

~xxXxx~

Walking outside, I saw the Mercedes waiting. I yawned again as I walked over to the car, glad my first day back was done. Having Emm there for backup had been a reassurance I hadn’t thought I needed, but I was happy to be proved wrong on this occasion. Opening the door and climbing in, I saw Carlisle’s smiling face and felt a sense of... relief? No. It was a feeling of belonging, of being where I was meant to be. Peace washed over me, as fresh and revitalising as summer rain after a hot day.

When he spoke it was with a head tilt and the inflection of a 50’s housewife. I laughed uncontrollably.

“Hey honey!  How was your day?”

Through splutters, I managed a response.

“It was okay, drama-free at least. I missed you.  How did the meeting go? Do they need to see you again?”

“The lawyer had all the facts, and the Chief was there to answer any other questions he had. All apart from one, that is. He called to ask about Lauren’s motivation. I had to tell him, Edward, but the lawyers promise to keep the reason under wraps so the press don’t get hold of it. We can only hope that no one else talks to them.”

He sighed deeply, all playfulness gone, worry returning. My hand found his in support, curling over his tense knuckles and rubbing them with my thumb.

“It’ll be fine, Carlisle. We knew it had to happen. Is the lawyer decent? Will he get the job done?”

A small smile quirked the edges of his lips

“I liked him. He’s a Texan, confident, well presented and knowledgeable. Handsome too.” He threw that last line in casually, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

I couldn’t resist.

“Sounds perfect; so when’s the threesome?”

Carlisle’s head fell back, his laughter joyous and unrestrained. The tension in the car was dispelled as I joined in, the feeling both welcome and reassuring.

Leaning back in his seat, he gazed at me.

“Right now there’s only one man for me, my love.”

Leaning in to steal a kiss, I muttered against his lips,

“And don’t you forget it!”

Still chuckling, he pulled me in tighter for a deeper kiss before pulling back and whispering,

“Oh, I won’t.”

We drove home quickly, the streets empty of traffic. Turning into the driveway, I spoke my thoughts aloud.

“So, what’s happening for my birthday?”

“You’ll see.” His eyes sparkled in the reflected street lighting.

“I bet I can get it out of you.”

His answering eyebrow flash made my smile widen.

“You can try.”

~xxXxx~

**JPOV**

Rosalie Hale was a beautiful, but feisty woman, I discovered. She had hit back every question I asked her with one of her own until she was sure I was on the level, clearly every bit as devoted to Dr Cullen as Nurse Brandon. He certainly inspired loyalty in his staff. When her interview was completed she shook my hand coolly, flicked her ice blonde hair, and left the room, leaving me speechless.

“She’s, uhm, opinionated.” I shook my head slowly; the Chief smiled wryly.

“She’s a fine nurse, that’s for sure, and fiercely protective of Dr Cullen, as you can tell.”

“Protective enough to lie for him? I’m sorry but I have to ask. Actually, what I should ask is would _either_ of those ladies lie to cover for him?”

I asked the question bluntly, needing to see his reaction. His brow rose slightly but his tone never altered.

“No. If they thought he was in the wrong they would say so. I firmly believe that.”

As I finished up my notes, I spoke.

“So, Chief, can I leave you to call Dr Cullen and find out about those accusations? I need to know why a daughter would say those things about her father – or do you already know?”

“No, I don’t. I’ll call him now.” He pulled up the personnel files and, mere moments later, was calling a number. I heard him ask, heard him pause, then listen. Clearly the doctor was willing to talk. After half a minute or so I saw the Chief’s face drop, his mouth hanging open momentarily. He swiftly recovered his composure.

“Thank you, Carlisle. I’m so sorry I had to ask. Yes, I understand of course; this is a delicate matter that the press do _not_ need to know about. I have your permission to tell the lawyers? Thank you. I will make sure they are discreet. I’ll be in touch soon, Carlisle. Goodbye.”

He turned to me, looking just a little shocked.

“Dr Cullen is dating his daughter’s former boyfriend. She, ah, isn’t taking it well.”

Now it was my turn to look stunned. I made hasty notes that I covered so as not to cause the doctor further embarrassment when I interviewed the other members of the nursing staff.

_Not the answer I had expected at all. Did the other nurses know? Clearly Nurse Brandon did._

I spent the next hour talking to other staff on duty. I uncovered a deep respect for the doctor, but found that they knew very little about him. Most were disbelieving of the gay rumours; none appeared to harbour hostile feelings toward him, and no one had any reason to point the finger to give any credibility to the allegations. The case was cut and dried, my job easy. Finishing up with the Chief, I walked out to my car, unbuttoning my suit jacket and slipping it off. The office had been warm and my waistcoat was snug against my back; I could feel sweat along my spine as I sank into the seat of my Ford. One day I’d make enough money to upgrade to something sleek, like my superiors drove. At present, all my money went on my small apartment and suitable work attire. I was good at my job, but I had a long way to go before I became a partner in a law firm. I wondered if Alice would be interested in a date if she knew my look was a facade, a sham, to hide my working class roots. I wasn’t ashamed, but at the same time I couldn’t deny that I was trying to improve myself.

I wondered if I was good enough for her, and decided that it didn’t matter. I was hardly likely to bump into her again anytime soon. She was a beautiful mirage, out of reach of my undeserving hands.

~xxXxx~

 

**EPOV**

The next day was wet, the skies dark and gloomy with no hint of respite. Learning to love the rain had been a major part of moving to Seattle and I rather liked it; it was easy to be anonymous and unnoticed when you were hunched against driving rain or battling the elements on wet roads.

The jeep had no problems with the weather, and Emm and I were off bright and early to collect my new transportation. I was still finding it hard to believe I was getting such a beauty and wouldn’t truly allow myself to enjoy the moment until the keys were in my hand. The lady was waiting for us, paperwork at the ready, and it was minutes only before the money exchanged hands and I had custody of the keys. Thanking her politely, we hurried out to where the Volvo stood waiting; I told Emm I’d see him at work later and quickly hopped into the driver’s seat, sinking into its superior comfort. Fishing in my pocket I pulled out a CD and slotted it into the player before starting the engine. She purred into life and I followed Emm out onto the main road, tapping my fingers to the music.

When I arrived back at the house, I parked next to Carlisle’s Mercedes. Stepping out into the rain, I briefly wondered why his car wasn’t in the dry when I heard boxes being moved behind the closed garage door. I slipped inside the house and upstairs to our room before sneaking through the side door to see what was going on.  He was sorting through labelled boxes, usually hidden beneath a protective tarp. He looked up in surprise when he heard the door close behind me.

“Hey. Need any help?”

He wiped his hands on his old jeans and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes.

“No; this is long overdue and I thought that, as it’s raining, I’d make a start.”

“Well, if you want to take a break. I have a great idea.” He looked at me questioningly. “As it’s pouring with rain, why don’t we take my new car for a drive and go try out the back seat. Let’s see if we can steam up the windows like they do in the movies.”

He stood for a moment, his hands on his hips as he chuckled quietly. Running a hand through his hair he gave me an appraising look that made my heart pound. I swallowed hard, heat squirming in my stomach as he stepped forward until his face was level with mine. When he spoke, his warm breath fanned my ear.

“I don’t think getting caught naked in a public place would help my current situation. But.....” his fingers slid into my hair as his lips found the spot on my neck that made my knees weak, “I could suggest an alternative plan.”

My eyes widened with interest. He smirked when his hands roamed and felt the items in my pocket. His voice was husky.

“Pull your car into the garage, and leave the door up. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. Wait for me in the back seat.”

I nodded dumbly, feeling my swelling erection press against my buttons. Jumping into my car, I pulled forward, parking in the middle of the available space. The windows were obscured by rain and I could hear the drip of water onto the concrete. Opening my door, I moved round into the immaculate back seat, sliding across until I reached the centre. Relaxing back against the cushioning, I palmed my stiff, denim covered erection before popping open the first couple of buttons while I waited. I could hear the rain pounding down outside the open garage door; I saw Carlisle reappear and step outside for a split second before lowering the door just enough so that the rain thundered heavily against it. Opening the car door he slid in next to me, his shirt damp around the shoulders and back, and raindrops glistening in his hair that escaped and rolled down the sides of his face. With the door closed the only sounds were our heavy breathing and the roar of the rain.

Reaching for him, I pulled his mouth to mine and moaned when the tip of his tongue caressed my lip. He pressed my head back into the seat and kissed me leisurely, refusing to be hurried even as my tongue reached out to his in mute supplication. He sucked my lower lip into his mouth before nipping it with his teeth; my desperate groan escaping unbidden as my hands delved into his damp hair. He pulled back a fraction and I looked deep into his eyes, seeing the raging fire in their depths, before his mouth lowered to my jaw, imprinting slow, scorching kisses along my maddened flesh. My lungs burned as I bordered on hyperventilation; when his mouth met the collar of my shirt, I felt his hands sliding the fabric up over my stomach until he wrenched it off over my head, his lips leaving my skin for the briefest of seconds before resuming their leisurely progression downward.

Needing his warm skin under my touch, I slid my hands up under his rain darkened shirt. When he looked up, I smiled coyly.

“We should get you out of those wet clothes. I don’t want you getting ill.”

His eyes locked to mine as he deliberately unbuttoned the shirt, gradually revealing his tight torso to my hungry stare and tossing the garment onto the rear shelf. My hands admired his hard physique as he gripped the headrests; his upper body hovering over me made me crave the weight of him on me. His lips found mine once more, the breath leaving my body in a low moan of surrender as I finally felt his tongue stroke mine. This slow seduction was pure torture; I ached to crush him to me and kiss him like the world was ending. I parted my legs to ease the pressure on my raging erection, causing the remaining buttons to pop open, affording me a modicum of relief. My eyes closed in pleasure, I felt him leave my neck and his teeth start to worry my nipple; his hand trailed down my stomach, catching deliciously in the downy line of hair leading down to my groin. I silently willed him onward to where I was throbbing for him, squirming and writhing as he sucked, lapped and bit each engorged peak, releasing them only when they were reddened and burning in the cool air. Momentarily distracted, the feel of his hand as it slid beneath my underwear was almost pleasure overload. Kissing me hard now, he swallowed my loud moan of ragged desperation as he grasped my cock firmly and began to pump it.

I was incapable of speech. I wanted to beg, I wanted to plead; I wanted everything his body could offer and more and all at once in that moment.  

The kiss broke and I gasped for breath. His lips were hovering a millimetre above mine and it was too far away. His eyes were almost black with desire.

“We need these off, I think.”

My pants were tugged down, my underwear tangled up with them in his haste to render me naked. When they were free of my feet he investigated the pockets, finding the lube and condom I’d stashed there earlier. Rolling over onto the empty seat, he unfastened his own pants, sliding them off quickly to reveal his own heavy erection, the tip dewy with moisture. Leaning over, I took him in my mouth, revelling in his sharp intake of breath. His moans of appreciation spurred me on as I worked him fully with my hand and mouth, swallowing around him greedily, his pre come flowing freely. Hearing the click of the lube bottle I held out my hand and felt the slippery coldness trickle across my fingertips. Without losing momentum, I sucked and laved the full length of his flesh until I was nuzzling deeply into his balls. His hand stroked my back as I moved my attention to them, kissing and licking the whole area before drawing one round globe into my hot mouth. His head fell back, his breaths becoming choky and ever more desperate as I showed the same love and attention to its twin.

His stroking rhythm faltered when my slippery fingers circled his puckered entrance. His legs widened further, his knees bowing outward as his feet braced themselves on the seat to hold his position. I took the opportunity to slip a finger into his tightness; to complement the sensation I sank down onto his rigid cock, taking him into my throat.

My name escaped his lips in a strangled sound, forced out between heaving gasps of pleasure when I slid a second finger into his willing and eager passage. Releasing his cock with a pop, I crushed my lips to his, the kiss almost animalistic in its intensity. My fingers slid free as he rolled me on to my back, straddling me on the seat, his eyes dark and hungry. Reaching for the condom, he grasped my length and pumped me firmly, his thumb swiping across the head on each upward stroke. I swallowed hard, my eyes trying to close as my body vibrated with need. He watched my face the entire time, his lips teasingly close yet just out of reach. He tore open the packet and rolled the latex down my shaft, coating me with lube before wiping his hands clean on his jeans.

I reached out, my hand stroking his beautiful face, sliding into his thick hair and pulling him in for a tender kiss.

“Are you ready, love?”

“Oh yes.”

Leaning forward, he braced his hands and allowed me to guide my cock into his heat as he slowly sank down, adjusting to my girth until his ass met my balls. In the confined space his movements were limited; I gripped his firm ass and lifted him, holding him steady as I pumped upward experimentally. His soft answering _‘Fuck’_ told me all I needed to know, and I settled into a steady rhythm, loving the tight, silken grasp of his ass in the restricted position. Adjusting my grip more comfortably, I thrust into him faster for a few moments, hard and fast bunny fucks that had him keening above me, the sweat beading his brow and upper lip. He was a vision of raw, sexual perfection with his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth open in an ‘O’ of pleasure. I ignored the burn in my arms, intent on my goal to make him come from plain and simple fucking. Carlisle’s hands edged closer to my head until I felt his fingers in my hair; his mouth crashed to mine, the kiss wild and primal as our hot, panting breaths grew more and more frantic. Carlisle moved as much as he could; the welcome slap of skin on skin loud in our private bubble as we took on the storm’s ferocity in our frenzied attempt to each drag the other over the edge and into the pit of ecstasy.

My body was on fire; the heat generated by our sweating bodies filled the small space and I was dizzy with feverish passion. Feeling my orgasm building strongly, I pounded Carlisle’s ass with everything I had and was rewarded with his muffled scream of pleasure as warm come splashed over my chest, his body jerking and shuddering. The exquisite grip of his spasming muscles forced me to fill the condom in hot, harsh jets, the relief almost a religious experience. We came down slowly, our breathing slowing from harsh gasps to quiet pants as we regained control, kissing softly and lovingly. When our bodies finally separated, Carlisle collapsed next to me, flushed and sated.

I looked up and grinned when I saw the steamed up windows.

“Mission accomplished, I believe!”

“Absolutely; a job well done.” He chuckled, smiling at me before stretching like a contented cat. “By the way, I like your new car.”

~xxXxx~

After we had cleaned up and dressed, I asked Carlisle what he had been sorting. He looked down for a second, as if gauging what my response might be to his answer.

“The boxes? They hold some of Marcus’ possessions that I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of for the longest time. Today I decided to take another look; I’ve healed now and finally feel I’ve moved on. It’s time to say goodbye to the past and make a fresh start.”

His face was so open, his eyes alight with love.

“Can I help? Or is this something you need to do alone?”

“Most of this can go now. I’ll save a few things, like photos and mementoes of our life together; I hope you understand. I can’t eradicate him from my life – he was so very important. And some day Lauren might like to look back at these memories of her beloved uncle.”

I nodded, my hand squeezing his shoulder.

“Carlisle, it’s okay. You don’t need to worry.” I paused for a moment. “Would he have liked me, do you think? Approved of us together?”

His smile was so genuine and warm that I relaxed instantly.

“He would have approved, believe me, and he would be content that I have found someone else who makes me feel safe and loved again. He told me once that he never wanted me to mourn him. Impossible to agree to of course as I loved him deeply, but he made me promise to move on, to find love again and have the courage to accept it when I found it.”

His confession was so frank, so heartfelt, that I felt I could share one of my own.

“I’m glad about that. I don’t know if I’d have ever had the nerve to approach you, you know. You were the unattainable fantasy.”

“Talking of fantasies, one of mine just took place in your car.” He chuckled again, slightly pink in the face at the admission.

“I remember. It’s why I suggested it.” I grinned with happiness. “And I hope we can repeat it again in the future. That Mercedes of yours could use a good christening...” I raised an eyebrow teasingly.

His answering eyebrow flash told me all I needed to know.

~xxXxx~

The next morning the rain had stopped, the storm passed. I hoped we would hear about the case today; the lawyers had interviewed everyone, and all we could do was wait for the phone call. Having fallen asleep wrapped around each other, I woke again to a cold and empty bed. Pulling on my robe, I made my way downstairs, checking the garden first this time. Sure enough he was there, dressed, empty cup in hand, staring at the sky as the first tendrils of colour flowed over the horizon.

“This is starting to become a habit.”

His head dropped for a moment before he half turned and looked at me over his shoulder.

“I figured it was better to get up then lie there and fret. Foolish, I know.”

“It’s so early – come back to bed.”

 His response was to hold out his hand to me; I grasped it and he pulled me to him until his arm could coil around my waist. I marvelled at the quiet, no traffic, no voices, only birdsong piercing the silence.

We had the world to ourselves and the sun rose just for us.

Everything else could wait until after sunrise. Including speaking to my mother.

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my beta mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	15. Chapter 15

**EPOV**

 “Mom?”

“Edward! It’s so wonderful to hear your voice! How are you? When are you coming home for a visit?”

“I’m great, mom, and soon, real soon I promise. I’m calling because I’ve got a couple of things to talk to you about; there’s something that I didn’t want to worry you with, and I’m fine now, but I...”

“What is it? What’s wrong? Baby, you’re frightening me.”

My hand was raking my hair as I tried to find the words to tell her about the accident. I had refused to let Emmett call her as there was nothing she could do from Chicago. I knew full well that she wasn’t entirely comfortable travelling alone, and if I had taken a turn for the worse then Emmett would have gone to fetch her from the airport, no question. We had always had a plan in case of emergency, and he had made the correct judgement call to not worry her as I was soon on the mend.

“Uhm, mom, I had a car accident and...” I heard her voice rise in volume as she panicked and I struggled to reassure her, feeling guilty about laying this on her over the phone. “Mom, I’m okay, really I am. I had to have an operation to remove a small blood clot in my head, but it was a routine procedure, I swear. The doctors were wonderful, and I was back home a few days later. All I have to show for it is a shaved patch and some stitches – I look like our old dog Jess did after she ate my GI Joe.”

She wasn’t calming down, and I guess I understood why. I winced as the bombardment of questions continued, and tried my best to appease her.

“You didn’t think to call your mom after you had had _surgery_? Where was Emmett during all this? I had thought better of him, really I did. I know he’s your friend, Edward, but sometimes that boy can be so...”

“ _Mom!_ ” I cut her off quickly. “You know you love him, so stop with the chastising. He did what I wanted, okay? The whole thing happened so fast that they just called Emm, and he arrived at the hospital at the same time as the ambulance. I was rushed into surgery and he didn’t want to leave me on my own. Carlisle spoke to him while they waited for me to come out of theatre; Emm has told me all this. If there had been any complications he would have called you but, I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted him on the road at that point – he was so angry at that other driver. When I woke up he knew he’d made the right decision. I’m sorry, but he and I both knew how scared you would be, and I wanted to wait until I recovered before I told you the details.”

“But you could have _died_ ,Edward! And me so far away with no idea until I get the phone call telling me my baby boy is dead!” I could hear her hysteria mounting and struggled to placate her.

 “Mom, I’m okay now. Yeah, I lost my short term memory for a while and I was a little freaked out I admit, but I had support to get through it. You would be so proud of my friends, mom, for the way they supported me. And actually, because of the crash, Emmett now has a new girlfriend. She was my nurse; Emmett fell for her big time. They’ve been out on a date and he is totally smitten.”

“It’s about time. That boy’s been single far too long; it’s not healthy.” I smiled, hoping my distraction had worked. “Stop trying to change the subject, Edward! I‘m so angry with you for hiding this from me! You have to understand how a mother feels when her child is in danger – the maternal instinct to protect our babies never goes away, you know.”

I shook my head in defeat.

“Mom, I love you and I’m sorry, I truly am. But I’m okay, and I’m back at work. I even bought a new car yesterday so, as you can see, everything is getting back to normal. Please don’t be mad at me anymore – I can’t bear it when you’re mad.” My voice was wheedling and I knew she couldn’t stay angry for long; it wasn’t in her nature to hold a grudge.

“You’re driving again, so soon after the accident? Please be careful, I’ll be worrying all the time now.”

“If it helps, I bought a Volvo – they do great in crash tests. Emmett is faintly disgusted at my choice but it was he who found the car, and she’s a beauty. Here’s hoping nothing like that ever happens again, yeah? And the accident wasn’t my fault anyway – the other guy was on drugs. It was just bad luck and could’ve happened to anyone.”

She sighed loudly, and I could almost feel her hands straightening my shirt and tidying my hair in her usual, clucky manner. The worst was over, I hoped.

“How’s work going? Is the bar making good money?”

“Yeah, work’s good, mom. The bar is going really well. Not many people are lucky enough to work for their best friend; Emm’s been fantastic during everything that’s happened.” I paused, and she pounced.

“Is there something else you’re not telling me, Edward? I can read you like a child’s picture book. What are you hiding? Have you got some poor girl in trouble because I _know_ I taught you better than that.”

She was freaking out again, and I knew it was time to come clean. My hand tightened on the handset and my eyes clenched shut as I involuntarily curled my legs in closer to my body on the sofa. I cleared my throat.

“I met someone, mom. It’s serious, and I so wanted you two to meet properly face to face. But now there’s a chance you might read about us in the papers, and I needed you to hear the full story from me first in case that happened.”

“In the papers? Edward, who is this girl, and what have you done?”

My head fell forward onto my knees as I tried to find the words. My mouth was dry and my hands were clammy.

“Mom, his name is Carlisle.”

“Who?”

My chest was tightening and I struggled to relax.

“The man I’m in love with. His name is Carlisle, and he’s a doctor. We met at the bar before my accident.”  The silence stretched interminably until she spoke again.

“Edward, are you being serious?”

“I’m completely serious. He’s wonderful; I know you’ll like him, there’s no way you couldn’t. Emmett and he get on really well, and in fact Emmett’s new girlfriend is a close friend of Carlisle’s from the hospital. I have all these new friends in my life plus a man I adore.”

I was gabbling the words, inwardly begging her to understand. I looked up and saw Carlisle making tea in the kitchen; he was trying to keep busy but he looked tense, his shoulders hunched and tight.

_He’s scared too._

 “I’ve never been happier, mom.” When she didn’t answer, I felt compelled to continue.

“I know this is a shock. I’d never considered having a male partner, but he just makes me so happy.”

“Why might you be in the papers?” She sidestepped my explanation, and I guessed we’d be returning to that shortly.

I pondered over how much I actually needed to tell her, before deciding to just explain it all, as best I could.

“Mom, it’s complicated; I need you to listen to me so you can fully understand. Is that okay?”

She responded tersely, never one to take orders no matter how politely they were issued. I started by telling her about Lauren, and our failed relationship; I explained my inexplicable feelings for the handsome man in the bar, and how I had longed to get closer to him. I could tell from her intakes of breath that she was having difficulty with this and I purposefully glossed over all of the intimate details, other than to say we had spent the night together. But it was when I told her who he turned out to be, and heard her quiet gasp of “Oh Edward!” that I felt her disappointment in me weigh heavy on my shoulders.

I spoke about the circumstances leading up to the accident, and how we knew we wanted to be together, despite the unforeseen complications.

It was when I was explaining my amnesia, and my recognition of Carlisle in the hospital, that I heard her crying down the line. I felt awful; no son should ever make his mother cry, whether in pain or disappointment. I was too scared to ask her which was the case. I told her how protective he was of me, and how scared he had been after the surgery. I touched briefly on our first date to the aquarium, how I remembered glimpses of the past, and my later recollection of the crash. When I got to that part she started weeping openly over the phone, and I ached to hug her. I skipped forward, telling her of Lauren’s anger and reprisal which had led to the current inquiry, and our needing to stand together to refute the lies printed in the local press.

I could hear faint snuffling noises when I finished my account of our situation, and I wondered if this would stretch my mother’s love beyond its limits. I could live without her approval if I had to, simply because there was no way I could be without Carlisle, but losing her love, and the thought of her not accepting us as a couple, made my chest ache.

“Mom? Are you still there? Please talk to me.” Her silence scared me. “Mom?”

My voice wobbled uncontrollably as tears threatened. I swallowed them back, determined to be strong. Looking over to the kitchen, my eyes found those of my love as he turned, concern etched over his face at my panicked plea.

Her voice was thick, muddied by tears.

“What would you have me say, Edward? That I’m happy my son will never know the joy of holding his own child in his arms and watching them grow? That I’m never to have the pleasure of watching my son marry in a church?”

I heard her blowing her nose. When she spoke again she sounded more in control, but with an edge of resignation.

“I don’t understand. Growing up, you changed girlfriends like you changed your shirt. How do you know this will be any different? Why are you telling me all about this man now when we both know you’ll probably just change your mind again in a couple of months’ time?”

Her words were like a knife to my chest. My voice was little more than a cracked whisper.

“He’s not a phase I’m going through, or some experiment. He’s my perfect match. I love him, mom.”

My voice rose to a high pitched squeak as the tears finally fell. It was too much for Carlisle, who swiftly entered the room and drew me into his arms. Before I realised it, he had prised the handset from my grasp and raised it to his ear.

“Mrs Masen? My name is Carlisle Cullen, your son’s partner. I’m afraid Edward is too upset to talk any more at the moment, but I think that you and I should talk, sooner rather than later.”

I heard my mother’s voice, unable to make out her reply. Carlisle stayed calm and composed as he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead.

“I can assure you that our relationship is sound; neither of us has any intention of leaving. Your son is a wonderful man, and I am so proud to have him by my side. I know how much he loves you and you him, so why chastise him for falling in love with me?”

I held my breath as I listened to Carlisle’s words.

“I’m arranging a small get together on Saturday evening for Edward’s birthday; I would be honoured if you would agree to come. It would mean so much to Edward, and you and I would have the opportunity to get acquainted. Would you permit me to book you a flight?” He paused, listening. “Very well, we’ll see you then. Contact Edward when you arrive; I’m sure he’ll want to collect you... yes, of course, a cab is fine too. Until then.”

I looked up at him, my eyebrows pinched together in confusion as he laid down the handset.

“Your mother is flying in for your birthday, so it looks like you will have a houseguest this weekend. You and I can celebrate privately afterward; I’ll change our plans.” He smiled reassuringly, his thumbs smudging the wet tracks on my cheeks.

“Thanks; I don’t understand her hostility. Just because I’ve always dated girls she assumes this is a fling, and won’t listen to reason.”

He shook his head. “When she sees us together, and meets our friends, I think that will change. She can’t argue with the facts, my love.”

“I hope you’re right.” I wiped my eyes and tried to push past the phone call. “Changing the subject to a happier topic, can I tell you what I want for my birthday?” He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. His voice was soft and soothing.

“What _do_ you want? If it’s in my power, you can have it.”

I felt oddly shy about asking for what I wanted.

“I want you to make love to me, to claim me as yours. Will you do it?” I saw his throat work, his voice a little hoarse.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? We haven’t done that since our first night together.”

Pulling myself up so I was level with him, I gazed earnestly into his eyes.

“I know; I want this to be special. I adore making love to you; it’s a privilege to be with you that way, and I want you to have that same experience. Am I making any sense at all?”

“So you’re saying that, on _your_ birthday, you’re giving yourself to _me_ as a present?” I felt myself blush.

“Pretty much; plus on your birthday I know you’ll give yourself to me, so it’s a fair exchange.” I grinned, knowing full well that I’d won. He looked perplexed.

 “That’s an awfully long time to wait – my birthday’s in October.”

“Don’t worry – I’m sure I’ll be giving you a preview before then.”

My lips found his and, just for a moment, I melted into him. We both jumped when the phone rang, the sound harsh and discordant.

Our eyes met, and he reached for the handset, answering in his usual formal manner. My eyes never left his face as the caller spoke. Carlisle was almost silent, save for some affirmative noises and the occasional ‘yes’. His eyes closed for a moment, and then a smile spread across his face that spelled relief and joy.

“Thank you, Chief. This afternoon at four, I understand. We’ll be there.” His eyes rose to mine, soft and warm and full of fire.

“Well?”

“The lawyers are happy with all the statements they took, and I am cleared on all counts. The press conference is at four; do you want to ring Emmett to get cover for the bar?”

“Yeah.” I looked at him. “It’s over, isn’t it – finally?”

“Mmhmmm.” He nodded, his lips brushing mine. “I guess this means you’ll be going home tomorrow; you need to clean house before your mom gets here. Has she stayed with you before?”

I rubbed my eyes. “After Emm and I first came out here, she stayed at a bed and breakfast as he and I were sharing his place at the time. I found my apartment a couple of months later, and she’s been over a few times. Obviously, I go home too, for Christmas and holidays, if I’m not working. Emm comes too, usually; his mom and dad aren’t that interested in having their son home for holidays. They told him when he left for college that their job was done in raising him, and he could look after himself now. That hurt him bad. As a kid he spent most of his time at our house anyway; we’re as close as brothers. He tries to keep the lines of communication open, but what chance does he have when they reject him? Don’t tell him I told you. He’ll open up in his own time. That’s another reason I’m glad he found Rosalie; she’ll get all the love he’s been unable to share.”

I hugged him tight, so grateful to have his support.

“Mom will come around, I know it. She has to see what Emmett sees – that we’re meant to be together.”

“I’ll talk to her, don’t worry. And no doubt Emmett will too from what you just said. It’ll all work out, you’ll see. Now call him, and then we need to get ready for the press call later.”

I sat back, thinking hard. “I need some smarter clothes; I have more at home. I’ll fetch them and run an iron over them. I guess I’ll be moving back tomorrow after this is all sorted, if that’s okay. It’ll give me time to air out the apartment and make it look like I’ve been living there the past couple of weeks.” The idea made me inexplicably sad, and I mentally shook myself.

_This was only short term. I’m better now – time to go home and give Carlisle his space back._

Picking up the still warm handset, I called Emmett at home.

~xxXxx~

My key rattled in the lock as I opened my front door. The air smelled cold and stale, no fresh fragrance of soap or aftershave to give it that homey scent. Making my way to my bedroom, I glanced into the almost empty box room and saw the rolled up duvet lying neatly on the mattress. The room only ever got used when my mom came to stay, and on the odd occasion when Emmett was too drunk to walk home after a particularly good night of carousing. My own room seemed inhospitable and bleak, the rumpled covers on my abandoned bed adding to the air of desolation all around me.  

Stripping the linen from the mattress and duvet, I fetched fresh ones and remade it, ready for my homecoming the next day. Smoothing the covers down, I was reminded of Carlisle remaking the bed on _New Beginnings,_ and how inviting that big bed had looked when he had finished. My mind flashed me pictures of Carlisle in my bed that first wonderful time, and how in that same bed, days later, he had comforted me through my nightmare. It was then that I realised there was no trace of him in this room; no fragrance of cologne or musk to quicken my pulse, no clothes neatly folded over the chair. The room was devoid of the one thing that made my life worth living.

_I’ll bring my photograph of us. Then he’ll be here all the time._

Moving slowly, I fetched my best pants and a smart jacket, brushing imaginary lint from the fabric. Laying them carefully over my arm, I closed the door, walking back out to the car without as much as a backward glance.

~xxXxx~

 

Carlisle looked handsome in his tailored suit. Squeezing his hand tight, I threw him a confident smile; climbing out of the Mercedes, we walked over to where a smartly dressed guy with barely tamed blond curls stood talking to the Chief. As Carlisle approached, they both greeted him with a smile before Carlisle turned to introduce me. I held back, a little unsure of what I should do, but I found myself being introduced to his boss and the lawyer responsible for his vindication. Carlisle was right – the guy was handsome with an easy smile, but, in my biased opinion, he didn’t hold a candle to my love.

At four o’clock the Chief stepped forward and made an inspiring speech about the value of teamwork and trust, and the reputation damage caused by wrongful indictment. The lawyer, Whitlock, then gave the findings of the inquiry in straight facts with no opening for rebuttal from the journalists.

When it came to Carlisle’s turn he gave me a knee weakening smile before walking forward to the microphones and starting to speak. Eloquent and refined, he held his head high as he spoke of the regrettable and unjust charges made against both him and the hospital. Now that the allegations had proved to be unequivocally unfounded, he announced that he would be staying on at Seattle General, and that it was his fervent hope that both he and his partner would be left in peace to get on with their lives, and be permitted to put this whole unpleasant incident behind them.

When Carlisle finished speaking he stepped back; the Press tried to ask more seemingly pointless questions, but Whitlock held up his hand and calmly called an end to the conference. I breathed a sigh of relief when the microphones were lowered and the intrusive flashbulbs finally desisted. Now that it was over I could finally relax.

The Chief shook hands with all of us and told Carlisle he expected him back at work on Friday. When I looked surprised, he simply said that he expected us to celebrate and that he didn’t need a doctor with a hangover in his ER. I chuckled disbelievingly; Carlisle drunk? This I couldn’t wait to see.

Later, in the staff room, Carlisle was met with hugs and congratulations from his close friends who had been able to witness the brief conference. Alice and Rosalie, their faces wreathed in smiles, came over for hugs as he announced our intention to be in the local bar after their shift ended. All were welcome, and we were both looking forward to putting an end to this whole nightmare. I knew that Carlisle was worried about being ‘outed’ publicly, and wanted the chance to dispel the rumours. I hoped that several of his colleagues would show up and be open minded enough to accept him as the same person he had always been.

I nervously wondered what they would make of me in all this.

Checking his watch, Carlisle said we should go and let them get back to work. There was much grumbling as they turned for the door, all eager for the shift to end and the partying to begin. Watching him smile at their retreating backs, I felt relief.

~xxXxx~

 We drove back to Carlisle’s to get a bite to eat and to change into less formal clothes for the evening. His whole demeanour was relaxed, his warm hand splayed across my thigh for the duration of the journey. I watched him unashamedly as he drove; the tight lines around his eyes had smoothed out, accentuating the sparkle that now resided there; there was a flush of colour in his cheeks that made my heart sing.

He smiled at my scrutiny, his fingers tightening a fraction on my thigh in response. I voiced the unasked question.

“Do you want me to drive tonight? I want you to be able to relax and let your hair down with your friends.”

Pulling the car into the driveway, he activated the automatic garage door and parked inside next to my Volvo. The door closed behind us and he switched off the engine, turning to me.

“No one is driving tonight. We deserve to relax, and so I’m ordering a cab.” I grinned, my fingers lacing with his.

“Are you saying we can throw caution to the winds tonight and actually have a drink together?”

“I thought we could relax and forget all our troubles. Does that sound good to you?”

I slumped back in the seat, my head lolling around to gaze at him.

“That sounds _so_ good.”

We made our way inside; Carlisle reached for a bottle of whiskey and two tumblers, tipping a small amount into each and passing one to me. Raising his slightly, he made a toast:

“To truth, faith, and love.”

I raised mine and repeated the toast, touching my glass to his before sipping. A bead of whiskey ran down his glass and dripped on to his shirt, to his chagrin. Setting down my glass, I walked over to him with a small smile.

“Again with the wet clothes...” The backs of my fingers caressed his cheek. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, “You better go sponge that so it doesn’t mark.”

I winked at him and he backed away in the direction of the guest bathroom. I let him go, listening for the tell tale rustle of fabric as he slipped off the shirt and tie. I heard the water running as he worked on the shirt followed by the clink of a hanger as he hung it up to air dry. He walked into the kitchen, bare to the waist.

“We should eat before we go out. What do you feel like?”

He started to rummage in the refrigerator, before moving on to the cupboards, the sounds of doors opening and closing echoing around the room. I walked into the room stealthily, watching the muscles in his back flex as he bent forward in a manner that was both delicious and compromising. His attention elsewhere, I waited until it was safe before leaning in and licking the dimple peeking above his belt. As he jumped, my hands ran up the expanse of exposed flesh before me, my thumbs kneading along his spine. As I worked out the kinks in his muscles, I saw his fingers grip the counter, his eyes fluttering shut until I pressed my awakening cock against his bent over form, making sure to align it with his crease.

“Edward, I’m trying to make a snack...”

His words were punctuated by low moans as my tongue flickered up his spine, my warm breath on his damp skin making his breathing uneven.

“We’ll eat later; right now I want a little alone time with you before I have to share you with others.”

He straightened, his face reflected in the window, his eyes finding mine. Before he could turn around, I had unbuckled his belt and loosened his pants. My hand encountered warm, hard, eager flesh as I parted the fabric and grasped him proprietarily.

“ _Mine_...” I whispered in his ear, my hand starting to move, tight and slow.

My fingers tangled into his hair at the same I touched my tongue to the shell of his ear; I felt his gasping shudder when I slid in deeper, surging in and out of the delicate canal. His chest was beginning to heave with effort and he struggled to hold his balance, his knuckles whitening as he tightened his hold on the counter. His helpless groan of acquiescence was all the answer I needed; his head turned and his darkened, lust filled eyes met mine. Leaning in to kiss him, I ran the tip of my tongue along his upper lip before giving in to his silent plea and pressing my hot mouth to his, our tongues meeting like long lost friends. As it always was with him, each kiss transported me to another level, each breath he stole was returned with love as I was granted entry into the gateway of heaven, guarded by his soft lips.

Breaking away, he turned and pushed me against the countertop, his mouth capturing mine once more in another life affirming kiss, his cock pressed against my own. My hand found his bare ass and pulled him tighter to me; I bucked my hips wantonly and we both moaned at the sensation.

He pulled back a fraction and whispered against my lips.

“Loosen your pants and get up on the counter.”

My hands found my buckle and fly automatically as I sank into the depths of his eyes. Reaching behind me, I braced my hands and pulled myself up. His hands deftly drew down my pants and underwear and, stepping in between my spread legs, he reached under my knees and gripped my hips firmly, pulling me closer to the edge.

When his lips wrapped around my cock, I fell back on my elbows and surrendered to pleasure. Unwilling to hold back, my breathless moans and gasps filled the air as he sucked me deep, his tongue swirling and stroking my most sensitive spots, deviating to include my balls and hole as if it were programmed to grant me maximum pleasure. Heat eddied in my stomach, a coiling pressure that threatened to overtake me as I balanced precariously on the brink of climax. My lover’s talented mouth sucked at my cock head as if it were a popsicle, his tongue reaching out to capture the moisture that leaked from my slit. I held on until his tongue tickled the little bundle of nerves at the base of my aching tip; it was then that I felt my orgasm spiralling out of control, bursting free in strong, powerful jets that painted white lines on my stomach. I opened my eyes to see him handling himself forcefully, head thrown back as he neared his peak. His teeth were gritted; his cock twitching as I softly spoke his name. He looked at me then with such naked love in his eyes that my arms reached for him; pulling him into a searing kiss, I felt his whole body convulse as he came in heavy spurts, his come joining mine in a glorious display of passion and unity.

~xxXxx~

 

When we arrived at the hospital staff’s favourite watering hole, specifically chosen for its close proximity to the hospital itself, we found several friends already there and waiting. Familiar voices rang out from the corner table as we entered, and my eyes immediately went to the girls’ smiles. Carlisle went to see what they were drinking before returning to my side.

“Beer, love?”

“Please.”

I took a seat with the others, and by the time he returned, a few more bodies had arrived; soon there was a respectable turnout. Carlisle put some money behind the bar and everyone had the chance to get a drink before he stood, and tapped a glass for a moment of quiet.

“Thank you, everyone, for coming. I wanted to say a few words to you all following the recent allegations made. As you probably know, I was today cleared of all charges of misconduct and will be returning to work on Friday.”

A ripple of applause went around the group at this announcement. I saw him take a steadying breath before he continued, and I knew how difficult this was for him.

“I’ve never felt the need to explain my private life to colleagues or patients. Nor do I expect others to do the same. But I realise now that you deserve to hear the truth so that your professional faith in me can be restored.”

I wanted to take his hand for reassurance, but I waited with Alice and Rosalie as we had agreed. He looked around at the faces in the small group.

“Yes, I am gay. This was never a secret, simply a fact that seemed irrelevant to my work. Yes, I am in a relationship with a man. We met a while before the accident that put him in the hospital under the care of Dr Anders. Contrary to what the papers implied, I did not treat him or have any part in his surgery. I would also like to put to rest the accusation made by a patient that I was seen out with another man after the accident. Both were my partner, Edward.”

When he walked around to me, I smiled as I knew that our relationship was finally to be validated in the public eye. As he reached for my hand I stood, blushing hotly as a sea of faces turned to us. I gripped his fingers as a myriad of expressions swirled around us, appraising, judging. I realised that quiet clapping had broken out that quickly gathered momentum. Alice and Rosalie were clapping loudest, before hugging each of us in turn.

Some folk went to the bar to freshen their drinks and, quite possibly, to discuss what they had just heard. I had no idea if any of these people were homophobic, I sincerely hoped not in this day and age. A few of the braver ones came over to me and shook my hand, all telling me what a great guy I had in Carlisle, such a wonderful man. I simply agreed with them; I knew all too well that, when I met that man, I had found what so many people spent their whole lives searching for.

A few people hung back, staring quite openly at me, perhaps calculating the age difference and making erroneous assumptions about my reasons for being with him. Alice leaned into my ear at one point, whispering that several of the nurses were lusting after me. She encouraged me to go say hello, and get to know a few more of Carlisle’s colleagues, and so I did as she suggested. It felt strange at first, but we all got chatting and they told me stories about the other doctors and their nicknames for them. Sipping my beer, I cajoled and pleaded with them to tell me their name for Carlisle. When they finally caved I giggled with them, mentally filing the information away for future use.

Every few minutes I looked over and sought him out, watching him talking and laughing with friends, relaxed and confident in familiar company. Each time I did, he would feel my gaze and look up with a secret smile, the love in his eyes sending warm shivers through my body. I felt him watch me when I walked to the bar, and I resisted the urge to turn around and check until I was holding my beer. Sure enough, his eyes met mine over the rim of his glass before he dragged himself back to the conversation in hand. The furtive gazes and smiles did not go unnoticed, and I saw Alice nudge Rosalie and unobtrusively point in our directions. As I walked back to my seat I met them en route to the ladies’ room; they each rubbed my arm affectionately as they passed, doing the same thing to Carlisle. I watched as he squeezed their hands in response, an easy smile always there for his friends.

When the girls returned they introduced me to an Irish nurse, Alistair, who was part of their group of friends. He was a tall guy, green eyed and dark haired with a heavy growth of stubble. His accent was both melodic and mellifluous; he told stories that made the girls scream with both laughter and embarrassment. Rosalie got her revenge as she told of his inability to boil water, and how he never helped out at their suppers. He used his charm to argue that he was more use in a managerial capacity, and at that point I was amazed he didn’t end up with a vodka tonic in the face. I would warn Emmett to always pull his weight in the kitchen if Rosalie was there.

Another guest arrived at this point; I suddenly realised that Alice was blushing furiously at someone standing behind me. I stood and turned, coming face to face with Whitlock, the lawyer from the hospital. I held out my hand, introducing myself, and he did the same.

“Edward Masen. Thank you for what you did for Carlisle today.”

“Jasper Whitlock and it was a pleasure. He is one popular guy.” His Texan twang was quite noticeable.

“He has loyal friends, and I’m grateful for them. What brings you here? Not that you’re not welcome, of course.”

He ran his hand through his now loose hair and pulled off his jacket, throwing it onto an empty chair and pushing up his shirtsleeves. He was wearing the full three piece suit, and the waistcoat suited him. He had a lopsided grin that felt warm and genuine, and the warmth was reflected in his eyes.

“I, uhm, I’m here to meet a lady.”

It was then that I put two and two together; he moved round to sit with Alice, politely checking to see if she needed a drink. I stood up.

“What can I get you, Mr – sorry... Jasper?”

“Could I get a beer?”

I nodded and looked to Alice. She held out her glass with a giggle, and I took it for a refill. I looked to Rosalie who put her hand over her glass. I mouthed over the noise ‘soft drink?’ She nodded, and I made my way to the now crowded bar.

The volume had risen dramatically, music now playing in addition to the cacophony of voices.  Hidden amongst the crowd at the bar, I stole a glance at my man, admiring him as I was sure others did. He looked delicious in his black shirt that he had worn on our first date, and I almost didn’t hear the barman as he delivered my order. Smiling apologetically, I handed over the money and took the change, making my way back to the table.

I went and sat by Rosalie, as she was alone now that Alice and Jasper were deep in conversation. I asked her about the concert and her eyes lit up as she told me about the night, and how much fun they had had. I let her talk, content in the knowledge that Emmett had clearly made her every bit as happy as he was. I told her small snippets about him, nothing too incriminating, but enough to make her giggle. She revealed that he had already won her over when they met, but the two dozen yellow roses in their pretty crystal vases had cemented the deal. I grinned and we made a quiet toast to new relationships.

I lost track of the beers I drank, and was feeling very convivial when Carlisle returned to the table, taking a seat next to me. The evening passed in a flurry of chatter, well meaning questions, and clinking glasses, until we all realised how late it was. The girls had work in the morning, and Rosalie was the driver, having only had one drink at the start of the evening. She offered Jasper a lift too which he accepted graciously. Alice dropped a kiss on Carlisle’s forehead before skipping out of the bar, Jasper’s hand resting on the small of her back. She was on cloud nine. Rosalie wished us goodnight with a wink and followed the happy couple outside.

Carlisle’s head rested on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. I nuzzled his hair.

“We should go; I could get comfortable here and fall asleep.”

He snuggled into me. “Mmhmmm.”

I kissed his cheek, my nose caressing his face as I did so. “Come on, I’ll call a cab.”

I wriggled until I could retrieve my phone from my pocket, and called the cab company. It took the five minutes they quoted to chivvy Carlisle to his feet, weariness and lack of sleep having finally claimed him.

On the ride home he leaned over and kissed my neck.

“Thank you for tonight,” he murmured before nestling into my neck once more with my arm slung around his shoulders.

I woke him from his doze as we pulled up outside the house. I paid the driver and helped Carlisle out of the cab, holding him up as we staggered up the driveway. He tried to unlock the front door with the garage key, giggling the whole time. Shaking my head with a smile, I took the keys from him and unlocked the door, finally getting us inside before he stumbled over the step and almost fell headlong into the hall table. Hauling him upright, I helped him to the kitchen and urged him drink some water.

“How many did you have? You’re going to feel lousy in the morning.”

I had lost count of the drinks his colleagues had bought us. I knew my tolerance was pretty high, but it appeared that Carlisle’s was most definitely not. He was going to suffer horribly in the morning, and I made a mental note to come down and fetch some ibuprofen and water before he woke. Knowing that rehydration was key after a heavy night, I got him to down the glass of water.

As I helped him up the stairs, I wrestled with his wandering hands trying to get my clothes off. When I finally stilled his questing fingers, his eyes were reproachful.

“You’re in no fit state,” I mock scolded, and then bit the inside of my mouth to keep from laughing as his lower lip wobbled endearingly. I sighed.

I got him undressed, after a further tussle over my own clothes, and put him in his bed, pulling off my own shirt. He grinned, a dirty chuckle escaping his throat. As I unbuckled my belt and released my zipper, his wide eyes magnified his excitement; I kicked my pants away and went to get into bed in my underwear as there was no way that sex was on the agenda tonight.

The alarm on his face was comical when he realised. I shook my head, snapping the elastic on my briefs teasingly. His eyes were bright, egging me on, and so I turned and bent to the floor, pulling them down in one swift movement. Turning to the bed with a flourish, I saw that his eyes had drifted closed and so, smiling wryly, I climbed into bed next to him.

As I closed my eyes I heard him mutter,

“Stay.”

I laughed quietly.

“Of course I’m staying; there’s no way I’m driving anywhere tonight.”

I reached for him, pulling him close and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

As he slipped into slumber I heard him mumble,

“No. Stay forever.”

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to my beta mxpi1970 for putting up with me. 
> 
> This chapter’s a little longer than usual for me; my characters decided they had a lot more to say than I originally planned, and I’ve learned not to argue with them!
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	16. Chapter 16

**CPOV**

There was someone hammering in the room. I couldn’t work out why, only that it was too loud and they needed to stop.

Peeling open my eyes, the first thing I saw was a glass of water, a couple of white tablets next to it; I groaned, remembering then why I felt so bad. My eyes creaked in their sockets as I looked at the clock – 10:40am. Edward’s arm lay loosely across my chest, his even breathing telling me he was still sleeping, although logic dictated that he must have gotten up in the last hour or so to fetch me water as the glass was still cold. Shifting my upper body just enough, I was able to swallow the tablets with a hefty gulp of water before falling back against the pillows, causing Edward to stir. He snuggled in tighter to me, his nose in my neck, and an unexpected wave of loneliness flowed over me as I realised just how much I was going to miss waking up next to him every morning.

Thinking back to the night before, I smiled as I remembered the support of my dear friends after my announcement. Edward had looked so handsome, and had both spoken to, and won over, many of my colleagues and acquaintances, his easy wit and beautiful face making him an instant hit with men and women alike.

I had spent the evening dying to touch him, hold him, but knowing that it wasn’t the appropriate forum to be so free with our affections. I couldn’t begin to deny the immense pull I had felt, having him so close and yet out of reach. I didn’t remember much about getting home, but, judging by my headache, I had had far more to drink than was customary for me.

I realised I was wearing my underwear; our last night living together as such, and we hadn’t made love. Now, until I felt more human, we wouldn’t be able to again as I could barely lift my head. However, it was clear that my morning wood hadn’t got the memo.

Edward stirred again and pressed his lips sleepily to my neck, sending little shivers beetling across my skin, and far more urgent messages to my groin. Taking his hand I slid it down to my problem, realising he was awake when I heard his raspy whisper in my ear.

“Need a little help with that?”

No response was necessary as his warm hand flicked aside the fabric and took possession of his prize. His touch elicited a contented hum of agreement as he moved it in a firm rhythm, his thumb spreading the escaping fluid down my shaft. As he worked my cock I turned my thumping head on the pillow toward him, inviting him in for a morning kiss which he happily delivered. His tongue flickered at mine playfully before plunging deeply and I could not suppress my needy moan, all my erogenous zones awake and clamouring for satisfaction. Watching my eyes now, he increased his pace, knowing how to draw out my climax for maximum pleasure. When I approached the brink he slowed, watching the desperation in my eyes as I tried to fight against it. His lips were at my ear, whispering promises of pleasure as he brought me to the edge again before denying me the joy of release. Determined to circumvent his plan, once the stroking recommenced I thrust up into his grip, battling against the pain in my head as I forced my body toward the point of no return. However, before I could reach it, his lips moulded themselves to mine, rendering mute my pleas for mercy.

His tight fist brought me up a final time and I finally rode the wave that would lead to the bliss I craved. Before my blurry mind could comprehend, he curled round and engulfed my throbbing cock in his hot mouth, sinking down. The sight of my cock sliding down his throat flicked the switch inside me; my toes curled and my back arched as my orgasm hit, pleasure exploding from my toes to the roots of my hair. My come streamed down his throat, and he swallowed eagerly. As my cries subsided, my body relaxed back onto the bed, blood pounding through my head in sync with my still pulsing cock.

Wiping his chin with his hand, he slid back up the mattress and cradled my head to his chest.

“Good morning, love. How’s the headache?”

I smiled, despite the pain.

~xxXxx~

When I woke later, my head over on his pillow, I realised I was alone. Forcing myself upright, I pulled up my underwear as I moved unsteadily toward the bathroom. I found him there, packing his shaving equipment and wash bag. I swallowed hard, feeling my heart constrict.

“Getting ready to go home?”

He nodded, not meeting my eyes as he closed the zip on the bag. There were shadows under his eyes, and I wondered if they were down to more than just our heavy night. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, squinting at my reflection, noting the dark circles and puffiness there. The Chief had made the right call about today – I looked dreadful and felt worse. Flipping on the shower, I staggered inside, leaning against the tiles with a muffled sigh as the hot jets pounded my body.

A few seconds later, the door opened and Edward stepped inside. His hair was already damp; he must’ve already taken his shower. Before I could ask, gentle hands propped me against the wall, reaching for the shower mitt and shower gel. As I stood in a stupor, he tended to me, washing me so carefully, rinsing off the soap when he was done. I heard the click of a bottle cap followed by the fragrance of my favourite shampoo. Rubbing it between his hands, he massaged my aching head gently. Working it through my hair, I found the light scratching of his nails an unbelievably pleasurable experience. He encouraged me to tilt back my head and allowed the jets to rinse out the suds until I was all shiny and new again.

As we stepped outside, he reached for the dry towel and patted me down, squeezing the water out of my hair. When he was done he winked at me, dropping a kiss on my forehead, and started to dry himself off again. I located my robe and padded downstairs to find coffee. As I waited for it to percolate, I struggled to create some order in my jumbled thoughts.

His mother was coming; she and I badly needed to talk and hopefully resolve her issues over our relationship. Edward’s birthday surprise was postponed until later in the week; I had managed to provisionally reschedule, but would need to confirm the dates as soon as possible. The party would be at my house; I would get his mom over here beforehand and hopefully we could talk then. I needed to confirm the party times with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Alistair... there was someone else but I couldn’t recall who I was missing. I also decided to talk to Esme; it would be a perfect chance for the two of them to get reacquainted in a relaxed environment. I bit my lip. I didn’t want to overwhelm him though, a party was meant to be fun, especially on a day as important as his 21st birthday. 

And, of course, Edward was moving back home...

This last point cast a pall over the days ahead until we were able to celebrate his birthday on our own.

When the coffee was ready, I took a long sip and waited until everything came back into focus. I heard Edward upstairs, collecting his clothes, zipping his bag, followed by his slow footfalls on the stairs.

It felt final.

It felt completely wrong.

My fingers raked my damp hair. When his mother’s visit was over, I needed to talk to him, be honest with him, and pray I didn’t scare him off.

I wanted him here with me – always. Nothing else made any sense.

He dropped his bag in the hallway and walked into the kitchen, taking the cup of coffee I proffered. Neither of us spoke, a million unsaid words hanging in the air. Setting down his untouched coffee, he pulled me into a fierce hug that I returned with equal intensity. His warm breath fanned my ear.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

We kissed, a desperate, heartfelt kiss, which spoke far more than mere words could convey.

As our arms loosened, he turned for the door, hesitating briefly.

“So, I’ll see you Saturday afternoon? Text me when you’re ready for mom and I to come over.”

“I will.”

And then he was gone; the last sound I heard was the garage door closing as his Volvo pulled away.

I stood alone in my empty house, gripping the counter tightly for balance as my vision abruptly disappeared behind a blurry veil.

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

_(Stay forever)._

I served the customers, took their money, chatted with regulars and cleaned down the bar; anything and everything to keep busy.

But there were dangerous lulls, moments that allowed the echo of my thoughts to be heard.

_(Stay forever)._

I breathed deep, trying to steady the rush of adrenalin that spiked my system at the memory.

That morning, as I was fetching the glass of water for Carlisle, my eye caught the framed photo of us, heads together, that sat atop the polished piano. In all the drama that had happened over the last few days, I hadn’t had a copy printed and I needed that picture; I needed the reassurance of having part of him in my apartment at all times. Slipping off the back of the frame, I carefully removed the picture, hoping he wouldn’t mind.

 I wondered if he had found the key I had left for him there by the empty frame. I had no idea if he would actually use it, but it felt only right that he have the option, the same as me. My home was his home too.

I had stopped off at the market on the way home, restocking my empty refrigerator with fresh produce and disposing of what else remained in there. Quite frankly, I was amazed it hadn’t grown legs and made its own way out. I had aired out the small rooms as best I could in the time available and, by the time I had gotten ready for work, the apartment smelled a little more lived in. My picture was propped behind my alarm clock, the last thing I would see when I went to sleep at night, and the first thing when I woke in the morning.

When I finished my shift I drove home, had a hot shower, and made myself some eggs with cheese. Sitting down to eat in silence, I found myself wondering how he was, and if his hangover had gone. I fought the urge to call him as it was so late, instead checking my phone for any messages I may have missed. Seeing none, my heart sank.

_You left this morning. This neediness is not an attractive quality._

Despite my stern inner monologue, I found myself longing for Saturday, even though the whole day was overshadowed by mom’s visit to meet Carlisle. There was a risk that two of the three people I loved most in the world might not get on, and I didn’t know how I would cope if that were the case. I tried not to worry too much, trusting in them to find a way to make this work.

Going to sleep in my own bed proved trickier than anticipated. When I closed my eyes, I reached for him; when I opened them again I turned to look at the picture of us snuggled together, feeling his loss acutely.

_(Stay forever)._

Hearing his words in my head all day, I knew I had to find a way to broach the subject. I had to know if that was what he really wanted, or whether it was just a kneejerk reaction to my moving home after he had just come out to his colleagues, and feeling at his most vulnerable. When I rolled over to grasp the cold pillow, my eyes caught something that hadn’t been there before. Two silver framed pictures stood on the nightstand on the far side of the bed ( _Carlisle’s side,_ my treacherous brain reminded me). One was a framed copy of the one I had borrowed; the other, the shot of us kissing, made my heart falter. At the same instant I caught the faintest trace of his cologne on the pillow, as if his wrist had brushed over it.

_He found the key._

I smiled, eyes closing as I inhaled his familiar scent, feeling happier in the knowledge that he had been here. Sleep didn’t come for the longest time, but when it did I dreamed of Emmett refereeing a boxing match of sorts between what appeared to my mother in army fatigues and pink rubber gloves, toting a sniper rifle, and Carlisle in his white coat, stripes of camouflage paint across each cheek, wielding a bayonet-sized syringe.

As Emmett counted them in, I woke up in a panicked sweat.

_So, nothing to worry about there then._

~xxXxx~

Waking up the next morning, I felt like reconstituted crap. I had slept thinly, my rest interspersed with bad dreams, my body missing Carlisle’s reassuring presence.

I checked the clock – 8 o’clock. I remembered that he had worked the night shift last night, and wasn’t due home til lunchtime. As my shift didn’t start til 12, I decided to leave him a gift.

Heading to the kitchen, I turned on the oven and grabbed the ground beef from the fridge, raiding the cupboards for the rest of the ingredients for a lasagne. In no time I was sautéing the beef and onion, and adding the sauce. I hoped he didn’t mind that it wasn’t from scratch; I could guarantee it would still taste good despite the canned lasagne sauce. Building the layers, I finished by adding generous handfuls of grated cheese to the top, licking a spot of sauce from my finger. Checking the clock, I slid it into the oven and headed off to shower and change for work.

Wrapping the still hot dish securely in a towel, I drove out to Carlisle’s. Letting myself into the quiet house, I placed the dish into the oven, folding the towel up and placing it on the counter. The house would smell delicious when he came home.  Remembering how happy he had made me, I made my way upstairs to our ...  _his..._ room and sprawled out on the bed, making sure to rub my neck on his pillow to leave my cologne as a memento. I hoped it would help him get some sleep; if he was missing me half as much as I missed him, then he had to be pretty tired today.

Job done, I was about to leave when I glimpsed the piano and flexed my fingers, a smile breaking across my face. I immediately noticed the replaced photo and turned the frame around to face me as I played, the music flowing from my fingers as I gazed at my muse.

All too soon, however, it was time to head off to work.

~xxXxx~

The shift passed uneventfully; I checked periodically for messages from Carlisle but found none. I guessed he must have just been glad to get home and sleep and I couldn’t begrudge him that after a hard shift.

Emm left a couple of hours before closing, taking the books with him.

_There’s a fun night waiting to happen._  

Riley collected glasses while I cleaned down the bar, and together we bottled up and filled the dishwasher. After sending him off home, I worked my way around the room, putting the stools up on the tables.

I had just finished sweeping up the spilled chips on the floor and had turned out the lights in the back, when the knocking started.

I called back.

“We’re closed!”

The persistent knocking came again.

“We’re closed, buddy. Come back tomorrow.”

“Edward?”

My head whipped round and I walked swiftly to the door, wrenching back the locks and throwing it open to find my lover standing there, looking at me like I was an oasis in the desert.

“I missed you.”

His voice was husky, resonating through my body. Stepping back on shaky legs, I let him in, managing to close the door before he pulled me into an intense kiss that I returned with equal ferocity. There, in the darkness, we attacked each other in that doorway as if this could be our last night together; some desperate, clandestine meeting under cover of nightfall. My hands slid under his shirt, craving his tight, warm flesh under my touch, as I backed him up against the wall, pinning him in place with my body. His arms coiled around my shoulders, pulling me into him tighter still, and I felt his erection, hard and urgent against my stomach as he crushed his mouth to mine in heavy, bruising kisses that made my heart try to beat its way out of my chest.

I knew how badly he wanted me because I wanted the exact same thing. Almost against its will, my head rolled back to allow him access to my throat; his lips whispered down the bared expanse of my neck sending tremors down my spine. Through laboured breaths I ground out the words.

“Are you sure you want to do this here?”

His hot mouth captured mine once again and I surrendered completely, blood roaring in my ears as his tongue lovingly caressed my own in a timeless mating dance. The only sounds in the room were our gasping breaths and the soft, sucking sounds of feverish kisses as we each succumbed to the gravitational pull of the other.

“I’m sure.” His tongue painted a trail of fire down my throat, his whispered words my undoing. “Lock the door.”

On watery legs I stumbled to the door and threw the bolts into place. Feeling him behind me, his breath on my neck, I leaned back against him letting his hands wander all over my body while his tongue flickered at the shell of my ear. I shuddered as sparks fizzed and burned along my nerve endings, dimly remembering that I had done the almost exact same thing to him yesterday. This was sweet revenge of the most delicious kind.

Nuzzling my ear, he whispered the words that made me fall apart.

“Lunch was delicious, but right now I’d rather taste you.”

He pulled my shirt over my head, his hands falling to cup my ass, leaving me in no doubt as to his appetite. He walked me backwards to the bar and had me lean against it while he freed me from my pants. Telling me to step out of them, he then directed me to straddle the high bar stool.

“Knees apart, Edward; now stretch forward over the bar, hands forward.”

I did as he asked, feeling my ass lift away from the stool, my cheeks parting to reveal my hidden treasure. His sharp intake of breath told me he liked what he saw. His slow, seductive tone hypnotised me.

“I could take you like this; open you up and give you what you asked for. Would you like that, Edward?”

I couldn’t speak, fear mixing with heady exhilaration. His hands stroked my back, caressing the angles of my shoulders and hips, trailing down my spine and pausing right above my ass cleft. His voice was smooth as silk.

“I’m going to make you want me so badly that, when I finally take you again, you’ll be begging me not to stop. Does that sound good?”

I felt fingertips glance idly down my spine, the hairs on my body standing to attention, shivers racing down my arms. The stroking became more deliberate, the backs of his fingers rhythmically gliding up to my neck and then down to the curve of my back. I tried to control my heavy breathing, to keep it even and steady, but his lazy, yet proprietary, mannerisms amped up my arousal, leaving me in fear of losing any grip I had on my self control. His palms smoothed down my sides, making me jerk in surprise when they swept down over my proffered ass, a feathery light touch ghosting up between my cheeks. I groaned and, despite my hesitation, I arched my back and pushed my ass out as much as I could toward my tormentor.

The fluttering tip of his tongue against my opening made me cry aloud in surprise, and, out of sight, I felt Carlisle smile. He then worked my tender flesh, flat strokes of his tongue bathing the tight muscle in warmth, circling, lapping and gently probing, his hands holding me in position as he pleasured me.

I mewled and pushed back into him, knuckles whitening as I clung to the bar, my nails scrabbling for purchase on the smooth wood as I sank into pleasure. My mouth was open in a silent scream; my eyes squeezed shut and my hand gripping my cock, pulling it in time to his thrusting tongue. When he pressed in a finger I started at the intrusion, missing the warm wetness of his tongue. He worked me so carefully with that digit, twisting and circling inside me, igniting sparks of dark pleasure under my skin. I was finding it very difficult to hold still, needing to move, to encourage, to come. When the finger withdrew, I braced both my hands on the bar top but nothing happened; in confusion I sat back on the stool and looked around at him, taking in the darkness of his eyes, the straining at his groin.

I groaned when his hand found my cock, massaging my aching shaft. I leaned back into him, moaning, hips undulating. His voice was silky when he spoke, his nose brushing my ear, fanning flames of longing.

“I want you to be ready when we do this again, love. And now you know just how badly you can want it, hopefully you won’t be nervous when we do.”

I was confused.

“So, we’re not...?”

“Not tonight, not like this. I just wanted to warm you up to the prospect, to be sure of your decision. And I want you to be somewhere comfortable as I intend to take my time; your arms would’ve given out before I was anywhere near done here...”

He grinned wolfishly.

My chest was heaving erratically, my heart pounding.

“That...” I gulped. “That was just mean!”

Dropping down from the stool, I reached for him, crushing his mouth to mine, my hand at his groin possessively.

“So what are we doing about this, hmmm?”

My mouth slid wetly down his neck, nipping at the muscle before soothing the marks with my tongue.

“I think someone needs to be taught a lesson about how wrong it is to tease.”

I felt his sharp exhale on my neck as he understood my inference. Nuzzling his ear, I whispered:

“There’s a condom in my wallet.”

“Allow me.”

In his hand lay a condom and a foil packet of lube. I took them, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

“So prepared – were you hoping I’d punish you for your actions, Dr Cullen? Because I assure you I intend to. Now take off your pants and brace yourself against the bar.”

He did as I asked, his eyes locked to mine. I palmed my cock, feeling the precome leaking freely from the rosy tip. Tearing open the packet with my teeth, I smoothed the rubber down my shaft and then tore into the other packet, coating both my cock and fingers with lube.

His forearms were resting on the stool, his hands braced against the edge of the bar. His ass was ready, cheeks parted and delicately flushed as I rubbed my slippery fingers against his pucker, slipping them in with little resistance.

_Oh, you want it bad. And you’re going to get it._

Not wasting any time, I withdrew my fingers and pressed the head of my cock against his tightness, pushing in and hearing his guttural groan as I stretched him open. I gripped his cheeks, spreading him wide so I could watch his willing ass take my length with ease, the lube making his stretched skin shiny and enticing. I saw his whitened fingertips press against the wood, and heard his long, low moan of pleasure when I was deeply seated inside.

“Now you brought this on yourself, you know; you have to know that teasing isn’t kind, Dr Cullen.” 

I pulled back, almost withdrawing from his velvet grip before pushing forward hard with a grunt. Carlisle’s breath huffed out of him as my balls made contact with his ass, and I smiled.

“I know you won’t enjoy this at all, but I can assure you I will...”

I pumped into him fast, my foot balanced on the stool’s foot rest for leverage. His groans and gasps were spurring me on; I pulled his hips up so his back arched down further, and was rewarded with even more depth for the taking. Slowing my movements, I rocked into him, my thumbs massaging the little pleasure centre beneath his balls that made him moan and beg. When I saw his head fall forward I knew that all coherent thought had ceased, primal stimulation had become all consuming.

I reached for his cock and stroked it in time to my lazy thrusts. He hissed as my forefinger slid over the swollen tip, drawing light circles across it. Leaning over his back, I flexed my hips and ploughed into his tight ass, grunting with effort at the restricted position. Carlisle’s breathing was raspy, incoherent words falling from him as our bodies slammed together. Without releasing his cock, I pushed myself up and gripped him under his hips, feeling the tightness of his balls against my hand as he neared release.

Through gritted teeth I ground out the words.

“I want you to come; come for me, love.”

In response I heard whimpers and curses, mingled with jerky, breathless affirmations as he came hard, covering my hand in warm streams.

I pounded into him again and again, crying out desperately as my own orgasm burned through me, white hot and never ending. My cock pulsed long after had I finished coming and could finally persuade my lungs to accept oxygen again.

I slid from him, leaving him slumped across the stool, coming down from his high. Ducking behind the bar, I found a clean cloth and wiped my hands clean.  I saw Carlisle look up as I picked up our scattered clothes from the floor, handing him the towel to finish cleaning himself up. We dressed quickly, unable to stop smiling every time our eyes met.

As we slipped out the back door and I locked up for the night, Carlisle whispered to me.

“Perhaps best we don’t tell Emmett about our little adventure?”

I held up the towel, the only evidence of our crime, and grinned.

“Agreed.”

~xxXxx~

_Today’s the day._

I had made sure the kitchen was clean and that there were fresh flowers in the spare room. The bed was freshly made, everything ready for mom’s arrival.

I knew her plane touched down at 12:30pm and I was waiting for her call when she reached baggage claim. I breathed deep to calm myself. The clock showed 11:45; not long now. I was jittery, even without my morning coffee; I drank another couple of gulps then tipped the rest down the sink.

Being with Carlisle last night had helped immensely. I had slept soundly, any dreams I may have had not hanging around to be remembered on waking. Carlisle had laughed when I told him about the dream, telling me it would all work out. I wish I shared his faith.

It was all systems go for the party tonight and I hoped the air would be clear by then. There was nothing worse than an uncomfortable atmosphere polluting a celebration; it was the fastest way to ensure your guests indecently early and talked about you the entire drive home.  I checked my watch again and sighed.

The phone chirped, startling me out of my reverie.

“Mom?”

“No, it’s Emmett.”

“Oh hey, Emm; Sorry, I forgot to check the display and I’m waiting for mom to call.”

“You with the doc?” He sounded a little off, not like Emmett at all.

“No, I’m home. You okay?”

“Sure. Just checking you had no problems after I left last night.”

“No, none; you still okay for the party tonight? Sorry about today – mom coming kinda threw me. You are bringing Rosalie, right?”

“You bet!” I could hear the grin in his voice at the mere mention of her name.

“Great; so here’s hoping it’s a good night.”

“It’ll be awesome! It’s your 21st, dude!”

_Awesome? Here’s hoping._

Mom didn’t call and I assumed the flight had been delayed. When the doorbell buzzed, I jumped. I opened the door to see her standing there, looking just like always; her hair styled, slight touches of grey at the temples that, knowing mom, she wore with pride. She had never suffered from an excess of vanity all her life although she took care of herself and always looked smart.

But today she looked a little... ruffled.

Dropping her luggage, she pulled me into a tight hug, the smell of her perfume familiar and comforting as I hugged her back. Picking up her small suitcase, I ushered her inside and closed the door.

“Can I get you a coffee, mom? I know you don’t like the drinks they serve on the plane.”

“I’d love one, but I’ll make it.” She headed off to my small kitchen and flicked on the kettle. “Are you working today or has Emmett given you the time off?”

“Yeah, I’m off today; plus there’s the party tonight. Emm will be there with Rosalie.”

She said nothing, just opened cupboards to find coffee and clean cups.

And I waited for the inevitable.

We both sat down, clutching a cup of my local store’s finest instant.

And I waited.

We sipped in silence. Then she set her cup down on my small table, tutting at the lack of coasters.

I smiled, despite myself.

“So, this doctor; tell me about him.”

I felt my hands clench on the cup and forced them to relax.

“What do you want to know, mom?”

She gave me a glance that answered that question.

“Okay. Carlisle is a doctor in the ER at Seattle General. He has an ex-wife who he is on excellent terms with, and a daughter, Lauren, who I was dating, as you know.”

“She’s 18?”

I nodded.

“And so this doctor...”

“Carlisle,” I gently corrected.

“He’s what age, Edward; my age? Older?”

“He’s 36; he’ll be 37 in October.” I smiled to myself. “He and Esme had Lauren when they were young. They married straight out of school.”

She looked surprised, and I wondered if she had envisioned a guy of 45 or 50. I wasn’t denying that Carlisle would still be hot as hell at that age too, but, even so, he wasn’t old at all. She sipped her coffee again.

“Younger than I expected, I admit, but still too old for you. 16 years, Edward! You need someone your own age. You’re far too young to settle for someone so much older; you should be out having fun or you’ll be old before your time.”

I had expected this and tried to be calm. After all, I knew she was just worried about me.

“Mom, you had a baby when you were my age. Why does a difference in age matter? I’m happy, happier than I’ve ever been. We both are. You’ll see.”

She didn’t look reassured and I could see that this wasn’t over. I stood up and carried her suitcase to her room. Leaving her to get settled, I sat on my bed and texted Carlisle to tell him mom had arrived.

He responded quickly.

***Party starts at 8 – come over before the others get here so the three of us can talk.***

Before I could confirm, the phone bleeped again.

***Last night was amazing. I love you.***

My smile blossomed despite my worry. I couldn’t help but agree with that statement.

~xxXxx~

The cab dropped us outside Carlisle’s driveway a little after 7pm. I could see mom’s face as she took in his beautiful home.

“It’s beautiful inside too.”

She looked at me askance.

“Before you think it, he isn’t rich but he is comfortable. When his partner passed away he left everything to Carlisle; he bought this house to make a fresh start.”

I walked up the drive and turned to see mom following me. I lifted my hand to knock when the door opened, and there stood my man looking sexier than ever in what looked like _oh god help me_ a brand new black dress shirt and black pants. I permitted my eyes a leisurely trip up and down, deeply approving of what I saw. His grin lit up his face and I had to force myself not to rush into his arms. I had to get him alone at some point tonight, if only for a few precious minutes.

Stepping aside, I introduced him to my mother.

“This is my mom, Elizabeth Masen; mom, this is Carlisle Cullen.”

He smiled warmly and beckoned us inside. I stepped back, letting mom enter first. Walking through to the lounge room, I noticed the furniture had been pushed back, clearing a large empty space in the centre of the room, the sofas arranged around so everyone could still chat. A table had been moved to the wall, for food maybe? My piano however, was still in its place by the doors, our picture atop it.

Carlisle beckoned us over to the nearest sofa. My mom’s eyes had seen the piano and widened.

“Do you play, Dr Cullen?”

“Carlisle, please; and no, the piano is Edward’s. I love to hear him play.”

I felt the need to explain.

“I’m renting it and keeping it here, mom. It was Carlisle’s idea as he has the space.”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

I turned to him in confusion, noting his sparkling eyes.

“What are you saying?”

“Well, I was thinking long and hard about your gift, it being such a landmark birthday. Nothing seemed quite good enough, and so I...” He bit his lip, looking rather nervous.

My eyebrows knitted together in a frown as I tried to guess what he was getting at.

“Having seen how much you love it, I went back and struck a deal with the owner. The piano’s yours, my love; happy birthday.”

My jaw all but hit the floor. I had expected him to say he had paid a year’s rental or something crazy like that. But this - this was... insane!

“You – you _bought_ it? But you paid rental on it...”

He chuckled, hands on hips, looking relieved.

“Is that what you’re worried about? It was deducted from the price. The owner wasn’t remotely surprised that I came back, you know. He said he just knew it was a matter of time before it became yours.”

My mouth was opening and closing wordlessly and, forgetting that my mother was in the room, I threw my arms around him, thanking him over and over, my voice cracked with emotion. Despite badly wanting to kiss him in that moment, I restrained myself and rubbed my thumb over his lower lip. His breathing hitched at the intimate gesture, and our eyes locked for a long moment before I remembered we weren’t alone.

He cleared his throat.

“Mrs Masen, can you I get you a coffee or a tea? Then I think we should talk, don’t you?”

Mom looked a little thrown.

“Coffee for me, please, no sugar. Thank you.”

“Tea, Edward?”

I nodded, and my mom looked at me, eyebrows raised. I looked down, smirking and sat down on the sofa, waiting for Carlisle.

“So, mom; first impressions?”

“He seems very nice, but that gift is too much. You can’t accept it – you’ll be beholden to him if you do.”

_Forever and a day, I hope._

“I can’t accept it? I didn’t ask for it; he did it to make me happy. How can that be a bad thing? And yeah, so I can’t do something that big for him on his birthday, but I’ll make it special in a different way. Would you rather he return it and I rent it again?”

“Perhaps your mother would like to hear you play?” I hadn’t heard him re-enter carrying two cups.

I knew he wanted to talk to my mom privately, and this was his way of giving me a little distance from the conversation, even if I could hear every word. I nodded at his suggestion.

“That’s a great idea. Any requests, mom?”

She shook her head, looking at Carlisle untrustingly. Forcing myself to move, I walked over and settled at the keys. I opted for a little Michael Ortega, and played as if I were alone, allowing the music to carry me away from the conversation taking place on the sofa. I heard snatches of speech, mostly my mother, despite the music.

“Dr Cullen, please understand that I’m not against you two as a couple – I’m not some homophobe....”

“I worry that Edward is young and doesn’t know what he wants...”

“...you’re closer to my age than his.... is this really what you want - to be a father figure?”

“...better off with someone your own age...”

I shook my head, playing louder in an attempt to block it all out.

Carlisle’s voice was calm, explaining that how we felt wasn’t some passing fancy, that it was real. I fought back tears, not wanting to show weakness like a child.

“... not throwing money at him like a child; he is entitled to a wonderful birthday and I wanted...”

“I understand that you have reason not to trust me, after all, I am a stranger to you...”

“...the circumstances were less than ideal, I agree, but we fell in love, and....”

“I assure you I would never _toy_ with his feelings...”

“With all due respect, I know how much you love him, and he loves you...

“...mature enough to make his own choices...”

...the fact remains that I love him very much, Mrs Masen...”

Their conversation was going nowhere, no matter how Carlisle tried to defend us. I couldn’t deny that it hurt, that my mom couldn’t trust my choice; she believed it to be foolhardy, doomed to end in failure.

I was relieved when the doorbell rang, effectively ending the stalemate.

~xxXxx~

Emmett greeted my mom enthusiastically, introducing her to Rosalie. I could see that mom approved, and she patted his cheek in congratulation, making him blush like a little boy. I loved how close they were. With them were Alice and, no surprises, Jasper Whitlock, the lawyer. He looked a little unsure if he would be welcome, but Carlisle looked delighted to see him, and Alice looked radiant.

Alistair arrived a little later, with a rather beautiful young man he introduced as Liam. Another nurse, it turned out.

Last to arrive was Esme, and I felt very hesitant in going up to talk to her. We agreed that this wasn’t the time to go over old ground, but that we would meet soon to talk properly, the three of us. Her smile was warm as she let slip that she had never seen Carlisle so happy, and that she could never be mad at me for that. We shared a tentative hug, and I hoped we could one day mend our differences and move on.

I opened presents amid much laughter as they turned out to be useful things like bottles of scotch and boxes of condoms, amongst other things, bought especially for my upcoming birthday surprise apparently. My mother’s eyes widened and she quickly looked away. I felt bad but, to be fair, I couldn’t be held responsible for a gift from friends. Emmett gave me one other gift, a small flat packet with strict instructions to not open until Carlisle and I were alone. Curiosity piqued, I agreed and stashed the gift away in a drawer.

It turned out that Carlisle had hired caterers, and the most wonderful food had appeared from the kitchen. People were tucking in, laughing and getting to know each other, and I hoped mom would be okay. I could see Emmett telling stories from our childhood to Rosalie and mom joining in; things looked hopeful.

The dancing was soon in full swing, Emmett and Rosalie twirling and dipping, their happiness evident to all in the room. My mom was smiling fondly as she watched them, and I knew how badly she wanted him to be happy; god knows, she’d been a second mother, a _better_ mother, to him since he was small and had first come home with me when his dad decided he should go hungry for not scoring well on a test. My mom was having none of that. Emmett would eat with us and then go home to his room for the night, his parents never any the wiser. I wondered how much of it he remembered and how much he had blocked out; we never spoke of it, but he and my mom were always close after that.

Esme was talking to Carlisle, their body language comfortable and familiar. She had her hand on his arm and was smiling up at him as he blushed and looked my way. I couldn’t control the involuntary smile that spread across my face; when Esme turned and smiled at me too it finally set to rest the nagging worries I had harboured since first discovering Carlisle’s identity.

The music slowed down for a breather and I smiled when I saw Jasper offer Alice his hand; her eyes sparkled as she placed hers in his and they came together in an elegant and timeless waltz, their eyes never leaving each other. Jasper’s cheeks were pink as he gazed in wonder at his beautiful date, his eyes afire.

I saw Esme walk over to mom and introduce herself. Leaving them to it, I took the opportunity to head for the darkened kitchen and a moment of solitude. The party was going well, better than I had hoped, but I knew mom wasn’t convinced and I didn’t know what else I could do to make her see. Perhaps Emmett could help, but then again I didn’t want to spoil his evening by asking him to sort out mine. Bracing my hands on the counter, I breathed deeply. Even at my own party I was letting others dictate my future; I needed to take control.

Since that night, Carlisle hadn’t spoken of me moving in again. I wondered if it had just been the alcohol talking, but I didn’t honestly believe that. He had laid his heart out there and asked me to live with him; I guessed it was entirely possible that, although he desired it, he didn’t remember actually asking me. So now I wondered if I should mention it, or wait and see what happened over the next few days, weeks, whatever.

Did I want to wake up with him every single day? Yes, I did. Could I cope with the practicalities of living with someone other than a friend? I didn’t know. What would happen if we broke up? The thought of being alone again, after making such a big leap, scared me. My hands were shaking slightly and it wasn’t down to the few beers I had drunk.

I heard quiet footfalls, followed by two warm, strong arms enfolding me, his breath gently ruffling my hair.

“Why are you out here on your own? Bored of the party already?” I shook my head and laughed hollowly.

“I’m just getting my head around the fact that I don’t get to wake up next to you like this on my birthday. I thought I’d be okay with it, but it hurts even more than I thought it would.”

I couldn’t bring myself to face him, to show him how devastated I felt that our plans were on hold. He turned me to face him, keeping me wrapped in his arms.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Dance with me?”

Moonlight filtered through the window, casting shadows across the room. Carlisle’s hair shone like spun silver, his cheekbones thrown into sharp relief above his inviting lips. The song had changed and the soft strains of Ben Lee drifted in from the lounge room. Hypnotised by both the song and his proximity, I moved a hand to his neck and the other to his back, moving together, swaying gently in the almost-light. Our eyes saw only each other as Ben sang of just how much I ached for Carlisle when we were apart. He must have seen the need in my expression as he pulled my head in closer to his, the feel of his breath on my face tormenting me; my stomach tied itself in knots waiting for the sweet press of his mouth on mine to soothe the frantic butterflies. I tilted my head, his lips merely a breath away, his whispered words caressing me like a soft zephyr breeze.

“I love you, Edward, so very much; happy birthday, my love.”

My fingertips skated over his jaw, up and over his cheekbone and into his hair as our mouths finally met. A helpless moan of desire escaped me as our lips completed the circuit allowing the surge of electricity to crackle through our bodies; we clung together in a perfect, private moment, the party forgotten. All night I had waited for the chance to be alone with him before I had to leave. My birthday kiss was the kind they showed in the movies: swelling music and grand passion, all of which Carlisle delivered effortlessly without even needing to try. I had never needed another person like I needed him; he saw the real me, no facades or bravado, and somehow, I was enough. He loved me with his body and his mind, and I was humbled. 

As the kiss ended I slid my nose into his throat, eyes tightly closed, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Carlisle. I felt his breathing hitch as he pulled me in closer; his head finding my shoulder, our bodies flush together as we moved so slowly, lost in our trance, locked together in yearning.

From outside of our private bubble came a sigh and faint, whispered words.

“Look at them and tell me that isn’t love, right there.”

~xxXxx~


	17. Chapter 17

**Esme’s POV**

There was undeniable tension in the air.

I approached Edward’s mother, offering her my hand and a smile in greeting.

“Esme Fitch.”

She shook her head, her brows furrowing for a brief moment.

“I’m sorry; you probably expected my name to be Cullen.” I saw recognition then.

“Oh! It’s lovely to meet you. Please – call me Elizabeth.” Her eyes glanced around the room and then back to me. “Lovely house.”

“Yes, isn’t it. Carlisle’s a good homemaker; it’s all his own work. To be fair to him, he had a lot to work through when he moved here and he used the house and boat as therapy.”

I noticed her eyes widen when I said ‘boat’ but chose to overlook it for now. I could see questions leaping in her throat and waited patiently until she could articulate them. She took a heavy sip of her drink before gesturing with her glass.

“So you and he are still... close? I saw you together earlier.”

I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

“Yes, very much so. Although our marriage didn’t work out, I can’t deny that he is a wonderful man and I love him still as a dear, dear friend. We raised our daughter together even though we lived apart. He’s an amazing father, and there’s no bad feeling between us from the divorce. In fact we have even more in common now, having both suffered through the death of a partner in the past; we’re good support for each other, always there in times of need.”

I saw her expression flicker with confusion.

“But how can you stand it? Seeing him with a man barely older than your daughter? Don’t you find them an odd partnership?”

I was a little taken aback, but tried to hide my surprise behind a mouthful of wine.

“Odd? Admittedly, I was no fan of Edward when he was dating Lauren. I thought he was too mature for her; ironic then that he and Carlisle should find each other, having never met whilst he was dating Lauren.”

“So I heard. Mrs Fitch, I don’t doubt that Dr Cullen is a wonderful man. I’m just having difficulty with them being together. And, as I’m sure you can understand, Edward being with someone so much more... mature... to use your word, concerns me. I worry that their differences will become accentuated by the passing of time. I couldn’t bear for Edward to wake up one day and realise he sacrificed his youth.”

“So then, you think he’s wasting his life with Carlisle?”

She looked down, her thumb rubbing across the glass in her hand.

“I-I just don’t want him to look back and _regret_ his life. Does that make me sound callous? I’ve always wanted him to settle down and raise a family. I never envisioned him with an older partner; I guess I just expected him to meet a nice young girl and nature would take its course.”

“And instead he met Carlisle.” I looked at her kindly.”What you’re saying makes perfect sense. As a mother I completely understand, but let me ask you this: do you believe that they love each other? That this is more than a mere infatuation or a passing phase? In your heart of hearts, do you see it?”

It was Elizabeth’s turn to look uncomfortable with the directness of _my_ questions, but I pressed on.

“Edward was fond of Lauren, but their relationship pales in comparison to what he has with Carlisle. He loves him. I see the difference now, and I swear to you that Carlisle is deeply in love; he’s the happiest I’ve seen him since Marcus was alive. He was amazing when Edward was recovering from the surgery... I’m guessing you know all about that?”

“The accident, yes; but what did he do to help? He couldn’t treat him.”

“Edward didn’t tell you? He insisted Edward stay here with him to make sure he suffered no adverse reactions after surgery. He looked after him, helped him through his frustration at not remembering. Edward had no recollection of their relationship, and yet the two couldn’t be separated even after the accident and his brain injury; Edward felt their connection even without his memories.”

I thought I saw a hint of a wince cross her face but it was gone too soon to be sure. I continued.

“Carlisle told me that he refused to discuss the ‘before’, instead deciding to start afresh, to not worry about the past and to make new memories. When Edward’s memory returned, thanks to Emmett I understand, the two of them went away on Carlisle’s boat for a couple of days to celebrate and reaffirm their bond. They are even more devoted to each other now than before.”

At that moment, Carlisle’s hand brushed my shoulder affectionately and he smiled at Elizabeth as he headed for the kitchen in pursuit of Edward. Elizabeth’s mouth thinned almost imperceptibly.

My eyes followed his exit. All evening, the two of them had been gazing at each other across the room, unable to be themselves in the presence of Edward’s mother, unwilling to cause her further upset. Excusing myself for a moment, I quietly made my way to the kitchen and heard low voices. It was when I heard Carlisle ask Edward to dance that I made a decision.

Returning to find Elizabeth where I had left her, I touched her arm. She looked at me with a slight frown.

“Come with me; there’s something you need to see.”

She looked perplexed, but followed me anyway. I put my finger to my lips and motioned to the darkened kitchen. While I felt bad about snooping on them like this, I hoped that it would prove my point and finally make Elizabeth see the reality the rest of us had already openly embraced.

In the moonlit kitchen, the two of them were locked together in a tender kiss so intimate that I averted my eyes. When it broke they stayed wrapped around each other, swaying to the soft music filtering through from the lounge room. They were oblivious, lost in each other, in a world of their own making. This was what they had craved all evening – time alone together.

As I drew Elizabeth away from the door, I whispered:

“Look at them and tell me that isn’t love, right there.”

She was silent, for once at a loss for words. I fervently hoped I had done the right thing.

When we walked back into the party, the music was switching back to a dance track, one that everyone knew well. Emmett and Jasper were being taught the apparently compulsory dance moves by a giggling Rosalie and Alice. I smiled, watching the boys struggle to both keep up with their ladies, and keep their hands to themselves. Seeing Elizabeth looking pensive, Emmett whispered in Rosalie’s ear before making his way over to us.

“Everything okay, Mrs M? You look a little... off.”

She turned to face him, her expression unfathomable.

“Emmett? It’s getting late, and I think I’ll be making a move. It’s been a long day and I’m rather tired. Would you be okay to drive me back to the apartment?  I can get Edward’s keys if you could you bring them back for him later.”

I watched Emmett’s expressive face register immediate concern before he nodded his acquiescence.

“It’s okay, Mrs M, I’ll get the keys. You stay there.”

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow, and I nodded in the direction of the kitchen just as Carlisle and Edward appeared in the doorway, looking calm and relaxed.

  _Amazing what a dance and a kiss could do._  

Emmett spoke to Edward, explaining the situation. Edward too looked worried, his whole demeanour tensing; as I watched, Carlisle’s hand started to rub comforting circles on his back.

“Does she want me to go with her? It’s not right to let her go on her own, and me stay here.”

“Dude, you guys need to spend a little more time together before you head home. It’s your birthday party! You two deserve to relax and, with your mom gone, I think the atmosphere will lighten a little, don’t you? And there’s karaoke later - you don’t want to miss that!”

His grin lit up his face, and I heard Edward’s jovial groan.

~xxXxx~

**Emmett’s POV**

Separating Edward from his keys proved a little problematic. He felt guilty leaving his mom to go home to an empty apartment while he stayed with Carlisle at the party, despite him being the guest of honour. I pointed out that she had stayed there before, and would be perfectly fine on her own. I’d bring the keys back so he wouldn’t have to wake her. Carlisle proved to be the successful negotiator; all he did was run his thumb over Edward’s lip and I saw his resolve crumble to ash before my eyes. Not looking away from his lover, he handed over the apartment keys, merely telling me to drive safely.

Of course I would; Mrs M meant as much to me as she did to him.

She didn’t say much, other than to thank and bid goodnight to Carlisle and Esme. Her hand patted Edward’s shoulder as she told him she’d see him in the morning and not to stay up all night getting drunk and singing badly in front of innocent guests. He grinned and kissed her goodnight.

She was quiet in the car which worried me as it meant she had something on her mind. I had a pretty good idea what that was and so I waited, knowing she would speak up when she was ready.

“Emmett?”

_Here we go._

“I know you’re Edward’s closest, dearest friend and would defend him to the death...” I smiled, despite myself. “But how do you feel about his relationship with the doctor? Honestly? Surely you have misgivings about the whole thing?”

_Straight for the jugular._

“Mrs M, I was pretty shocked when Ed told me he’d met someone. Bear in mind that at the time he’d just had the accident and was very confused about the feelings he was having. He knew, even then, that he and Lauren were through and that he had feelings for the doc. That guy was just amazing with him. He wouldn’t tell him anything about his lost week, only that he wanted him to remember in his own time and that when his memories returned they could then be trusted.”

“You’re sure he didn’t coerce Edward in any way while he was in such a vulnerable state?”

I risked a glance at her, my mouth open in shock.

“Coerce?!  _No!_ Edward knew there was more to their relationship than Carlisle was letting on. Carlisle tried to keep his distance, but Edward pushed him into talking, even though it was innocent chat. They built a relationship from scratch, getting to know each other all over again. And even though, thankfully, Edward remembered everything, it’s my honest belief that they would be together no matter what. They truly are meant to be, as corny as that sounds.”

I could see her hands wringing in her lap and wanted to still them.

“But, he’s so much older, and a wealthy man. Is he buying Edward’s affections only to tire of him in a few months and leave him devastated? I can’t see my boy hurt like that.”

“Let me be totally honest with you. When Edward remembered the accident, and what had already happened between them, he ran to him. Well, technically, I drove him as he wasn’t allowed to drive, but my point is that his first thought was to tell Carlisle. It was the first time I’d seen them together as a couple. I know for sure, even if Edward won’t admit it, that he didn’t want to move out. The two of them were settled living together, even though it was only ever supposed to be a temporary arrangement for him to convalesce. And I’ll tell you this much - you won’t be staying at the apartment again, Mrs M. They’ll be living together for good just as soon as one of them is brave enough to say the words.”

~xxXxx~

I walked her to the apartment, making sure she was okay before I turned to leave.

“Emmett?”

She held out her arms to me, and I bent into her warm, familiar hug; I felt like a small boy again, protected and safe from harm. When I straightened up, my hands caught hers as I looked at her with a steady gaze.

“He’s happy, I promise you. I‘ve spent time with them and they only have eyes for each other. Carlisle’s a great guy, really down to earth; we hit it off the first time we met. If Edward didn’t love him, he wouldn’t have stood by him this past week. Believe me; it didn’t cross his mind to be anywhere else.”

Her eyes dropped, and I worried that I might have said too much but I had to get this out.

“I know how much you love him, I do too. I’ve never seen Edward like this with any girl. For the first time in his life he’s involved in a mutual, loving, adult relationship and it suits him.”

She still wasn’t meeting my eyes. My voice was low, with an almost pleading edge.

“I would never have put them together, but now I just can’t see him with anyone else. They just... _fit_.”

I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what else I could say, unable to find any more words to express my feelings. In my eyes, Carlisle and Edward were a done deal.

She sighed.

“Rosalie’s a lovely girl. She’s a keeper; you look after her, Emmett.”

“I will, ma.”

Her eyes softened, her hand reaching up to cup my cheek.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time.”

I blushed, suddenly becoming that little boy again, shyly accepting unfamiliar kindness from my best friend’s mom. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed my cheek, patting the other with her hand.

“Go back to the party and enjoy yourself. And try not to embarrass Rosalie on the karaoke – you don’t want to scare her off now, do you?”

I grinned and turned for the door, the keys in my hand. As I opened the door, I hesitated and looked back.

“I promise not to embarrass her. As long as you promise me you’ll give Carlisle a fair chance. He’s done nothing wrong; all he did was fall in love.”

~xxXxx~

Pulling up outside Carlisle’s home, I edged the jeep into the driveway next to an old Ford and killed the engine. Making my way back inside I looked around, seeing Rosalie talking animatedly with Liam whilst Alice and Jasper were cuddled together contentedly on the sofa. Alistair was sorting out the music, whereas Carlisle, Edward and Esme were nowhere to be seen. I went in search, finding them all in the kitchen where Carlisle was fixing drinks and acting as a chaperone of sorts between Edward and Esme, ensuring their first social evening together went smoothly.

Edward looked round at me, worry still evident in his face. I handed him back his keys and he placed them on the countertop.

“She okay, Emm?”

I exhaled noisily.

“You know your mom. She’s not comfortable with the idea of you two yet, that’s the crux of it. I think she’ll come around; I did my best, but I don’t know if it made any difference. She asked some pretty uncomfortable questions in the car.”

Carlisle turned.

“Thank you for trying, Emmett. I guess I was a little over optimistic that this evening would resolve everything neatly.” Edward’s hand clasped his in support, his worried face mirroring Carlisle’s. “I just hope, given time, that she comes around; time is something Edward and I have plenty of.”

I felt helpless when I saw the underlying resignation in their eyes; there was a real possibility that Mrs M might not ever truly accept Carlisle.

“It’s okay, Emm. Mom is stubborn, but she only wants what’s best for me. I guess this time it’s up to me to prove I made the right choice.”

Esme’s face was sad, and I figured she must have tried to make a persuasive argument too. I could tell from the way she was around Carlisle that she still cared a great deal for him, and that she accepted their relationship without question.

_Lauren has a cool mom. I wonder if she realises how lucky she is._

I turned and headed back to the main room to set up the karaoke machine that Carlisle had borrowed for tonight. We needed something to take our minds off our problems. I grinned; karaoke was so my thing!

Tapping the mic, I fired up the screen and produced the book of song choices with a flourish.

“Okay you guys, and you ladies, it’s time for the entertainment portion of this shindig, and the news is that each of you will be that entertainment. Don’t be shy now - step on up and choose your song!”

I watched as realisation dawned on their faces; hearing chuckles from the doorway, I could see Carlisle and Edward standing there watching. Alistair was shaking his head emphatically, his bravado having apparently left him, while Liam stood on the sidelines, laughing. Alice and Rosalie looked beseechingly at Carlisle, their faces expressing their stage fright as they mutely pleaded for mercy. For once this had no effect on Carlisle, whose face could not contain his mirth.

_Oh boy, he’s in for some trouble at work!_

I decided a little persuasion was in order.

“Now come on ladies; everyone has to have a turn, including the birthday boy. In fact, I think Edward should kick off the festivities this evening. What will you sing, Ed?”

He walked up and whispered his song choice to me. Looking to him in surprise, I realised that this song would perhaps express what he could not bring himself to say in everyday conversation. Finding the code, I loaded the song and handed him the mic.

His cheeks pink with embarrassment, he waited for the intro and then started to sing. Edward’s voice was deep with an almost timeless quality, delivering the heartrending lyrics in a voice both raw and full of naked emotion. You could hear a pin drop in the room.

  _I'm lying alone with my head on the phone_  
_Thinking of you till it hurts_  
 _I know you hurt too but what else can we do_  
 _Tormented and torn apart_  
 _I wish I could carry your smile and my heart_  
 _For times when my life feels so low_  
 _It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring_  
 _When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know_  
  
_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you_  
 _I know you were right believing for so long_  
 _I'm all out of love, what am I without you_  
 _I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong_  
  
_I want you to come back and carry me home_  
 _Away from these long lonely nights_  
 _I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too_  
 _Does the feeling seem oh so right_  
 _And what would you say if I called on you now_  
 _And said that I can't hold on_  
 _There's no easy way, it gets harder each day_  
 _Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone_  
  
The girls stood agape; I noticed that Esme was watching Carlisle for his reaction. He, on the other hand, was spellbound, eyes fixed on Edward, his lips slightly parted.

As the last notes of the chorus faded, applause broke out. Blushing hard, Edward walked straight to Carlisle who, uncaring of those around them, kissed him long and hard.

Guessing that the message had gotten through, I cleared my throat to issue a small reminder.

“Don’t get any ideas, guys; you aren’t slipping away any time soon!”  

They both had the good grace to blush, Carlisle hiding his smile in Edward’s throat. They exuded happiness as they nuzzled noses, kissing one more time as I demanded my next victim step up to the mic. Seeing no willing volunteers, I took the cue to sing myself. Winking at Rosie, I launched into a favourite of mine, Mustang Sally, and saw Edward grin.

By the time I reached the chorus, I had everyone joining in with ‘ride Sally ride’, swaying along to the familiar words. I could hold a tune, and so Rosalie was laughing with me at the end and not at me. In fact, the girls were brave enough to step up and sing a duet themselves, throwing themselves into ‘I am Woman’. By the time they reached the first chorus, they were beckoning wildly to Esme to join them. She made her way over to them, giggling as she linked arms with Alice and Rose, singing the anthem loud and proud. As the music ended, they bowed and blew kisses before trying, in tandem, to coax Jasper into giving us a tune.

He finally caved, looking mortified as he made his way over to me. I felt rather sorry for him as he stood there, clutching a mic, having been railroaded into singing.

However, when the song started to play, Jasper surprised us all. The opening notes were sung in a faltering tone, but then he found his rhythm and sang with confidence. And he sang directly to a lovestruck Alice.

_Looking at you, holding my breath_  
_For once in my life I’m scared to death_  
 _I’m taking a chance, letting you inside_  


_Feeling alive, all over again,_  
_As deep as the sky, under my skin_  
 _Like being in love, she says_  
 _for the first time_  
 _Maybe I’m wrong,_  
 _But I’m feeling right where I belong_  
 _With you tonight_  
 _Like being in love_  
 _To feel for the first time_

I could feel the heat in his voice as he found his confidence, singing like he was born to it. My eyes met Rosie’s, and I saw the same fire there that burned within me.

I wondered if tonight was _the_ night for us. There was enough love in the room to make a sober man drunk, and I should know; I was the only one without a proper drink warming my insides. But I wanted to drive my Rosie home tonight, and the small sacrifice was worth it. I would do anything to spend time with her.

Over on the other sofa, Liam and Alistair were kissing unashamedly, the song weaving a romantic atmosphere throughout the room.

When Jasper’s song was over, he looked embarrassed as if he couldn’t quite believe he had gone through with it. Alice’s eyes were shining and Jasper found himself rewarded with a kiss for his efforts. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him give her a lopsided grin, his eyes gazing into hers from under his mop of blond hair.

Who knew that karaoke would ignite such sparks? I had just thought it would be a fun way to spend the evening, but it had achieved so much more. I felt a grin spread across my face, and I loaded my next song of choice.

As the iconic intro began, I beckoned to Edward and we launched into our party piece and even the shyer members of the group finally joined in, singing at the top of their lungs:

_I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night_

_that tonight’s gonna be a good, good night...._

~xxXxx~

**Carlisle’s POV**

As the evening drew to a close, I made coffee for those in need. Emmett and Rosalie insisted on giving Esme a lift home as Edward decided to stay a while before heading off. Jasper and Alice, amid much kissing and hugging, took off in his Ford, Liam and Alistair following them out, their cab waiting outside.

After an enjoyable, crazy, fun filled evening, we were finally alone.

I wrapped an arm around Edward’s chest as he closed the door, pulling him flush against me, my lips in his hair.

“That went well, I think.”

He leaned back into me with a smile, his hand on my arm to stop me letting go. When I pressed a kiss into his soft throat he hummed as his head fell back.

“Did you have a good time?” I whispered into his ear.

Releasing my arm, he turned, his arms snaking around my neck. His soulful green eyes gazed into mine.

“The best. And before I go, I want to thank you properly for the party and for the piano - _especially_ the piano. It’s... incredible. I can’t find a word that sounds grateful enough. It’s amazing... _you’re_ amazing.”

I cut him off with a kiss, letting him know I understood exactly what he was trying to say. I turned him round and walked him into the sitting room where we collapsed together onto the sofa. Kneeling over him, I pinned him to the cushions. His hands cupped my face, pulling me closer; his breathing quickened as the kiss deepened, becoming charged with delicious promise.

But when the kiss ended, his lips leaving mine so very reluctantly, I looked into eyes full of pain and regret. I frowned, not understanding the change.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

I stroked his cheek with my thumb, watching his face crumple as he struggled to find the right words.

“If we make love here, tonight, I’ll stay and fall asleep next to you. There’s just no way I’ll be able to leave you and go back to the apartment where, let’s face it, my mother’s lying awake waiting for me. I know this probably sounds crazy when I want you so badly, but...”

My lips brushed his and I sighed.

“I know how you feel. I won’t want you to go either. Okay.” I sat up and moved to sit next to him. “So, what did Emmett give you earlier?”

He blinked.

“I forgot about that.” He jumped up and retrieved the slim package, tearing into the wrapping.

“And?”

His brow creased. “It’s a DVD.”

Walking over to the player, he slotted it in and flicked on the screen. After a few moments the picture appeared; it showed a large room, empty at first, until a person walked into shot. Looking at Edward, I saw his face pale. On the screen, two people were now in the room, kissing up against a wall.

Edward swallowed noisily and looked at me.

“It’s us.”

Looking down at the jewel case, I saw a note. Retrieving and unfolding it, I read the words printed there:

***So, I found this on my new CCTV system. Enjoy. But please, for the sake of my eyesight, don’t do it again.***

**~xxXxx~**

 

Songs:

Edward: ‘All Out of Love’ by Air Supply [www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBMYow46LxQ)

Emmett:  ‘Mustang Sally’ by the Commitments [www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEsoq0B1IOo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEsoq0B1IOo)

The girls: ‘I am Woman’ (thank you SATC!) [www. youtube.com/watch?v=ReSy4dF6y5E](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReSy4dF6y5E)

Jasper: First Time by Lifehouse- [www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uq97aOlILE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uq97aOlILE)

Em & Ed: I gotta feeling by the Black-eyed Peas [www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSD4vsh1zDA)


	18. Chapter 18

**Edward’s POV**

I felt sick.

Ejecting the disc from the player, I returned it to the case. I felt so embarrassed that I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“So much for him never finding out about that. I’m so sorry, Carlisle, I didn’t know about the new security system. Unless he told me and I forgot, I...”

To my intense shock, I heard laughter.

“Oh, poor Emmett! I wonder how much he saw before...” he tailed off into chuckles once again, and I turned to stare at him in amazement before the corners of my mouth started to twitch too.

“Oh god, I thought he was weird on the phone this morning.” I groaned to myself, raking my fingers through my hair. “It’s late, I should call a cab.”

Reaching for the phone, I called the company I had used earlier. After a brief conversation, I hung up.

“They said fifteen minutes.”

As the words left my lips, Carlisle was on his feet, pulling me into a hug that I returned despondently. His fingers were in my hair, holding my close as he whispered in my ear.

“It’s way after midnight, my love; happy 21st birthday.”

My arms tightened for a second before loosening so I could look at him.

“So do I look any different?” My smile played across my lips as I tried to be upbeat.

“You look delicious, and I want to drag you upstairs, pin you to the bed and do unspeakable things to you. But we only have about twelve minutes left, and I desire far more time with you than that. So, for tonight, I’ll settle for a kiss until I can have you all to myself again for the entire night.”

I leaned into him with a sigh of pleasure. My lips parting, I allowed him to claim my mouth as his, our tongues flirting with the expectation of more, unable to stop the inexorable hunger that consumed us. Trapped in passion’s tight snare, our hands gripped tighter, mouths locked together, our aroused bodies insistent as desperation built to a crescendo that could only lead to one conclusion.

He pulled back, his ragged gasps hot on my face as my lungs struggled for air.

“Stay...”

My heart thudded painfully, my forehead resting against his.

“I can’t.”

His lips pressed against mine forcefully for a moment, before he answered.

“I know.” His eyes closed as he held me tight. “Edward, you were talking earlier about going home, but you didn’t say ‘home’, you said ‘the apartment’. It’s the second time you’ve said that. Why? You don’t usually refer to it as that.”

“It’s because...” I hesitated, wanting to say it. Hell, I _needed_ to say it. But I knew I risked changing everything.

He fixed me in place with eyes as dark as the ocean at midnight, and the words tumbled out.

‘It’s because of you. You always said ‘home’ when you talked about me moving back there. And it is, I mean it _was_ , I mean...” 

I shook my head and tried my hardest to speak calmly.

“It was what you said when we got home from the bar...”

He was watching me intently now.

“What did I say?”

_Oh fuck._

“You asked me a question, and I realised it was what I wanted. But you haven’t mentioned it again, so I guess you don’t remember, and now I’ve made a total fool of myself.”

I was panicking and tried to pull away from him, but he held me in his arms.

“Tell me, Edward, please?”

Lost in his eyes, I took the leap.

“You asked me to stay forever. It was then that I realised my apartment isn’t ‘home’ to me anymore because you aren’t there.”

My voice had degenerated into a hoarse whisper.

“My home is wherever you are, Carlisle.”

I waited, fearful of gentle rejection. His voice was rough and emotional, his fingers caressing my jaw as he swallowed hard, a discernible shimmer in the darkness of his gaze.

“Then come home, Edward. Be with me always.”

~xxXxx~

I left shortly after, my heart full of elation and, paradoxically, heavy with sadness to have to leave him when we should have been celebrating our new lives together.

Sitting in the taxi, I thought of how happy Emmett would be at the news. That is, if he ever got over the DVD, of course. I grinned to myself. I would have to apologise, and tell him I was sorry. And then I thought of mom, and how I was going to have to break the news to her.

I was still thinking as I paid the driver and made my way inside, trying to be quiet. I knew it was fruitless; as I tried to sneak past to my room, her voice came from behind her slightly ajar bedroom door.

“Edward?”

“Yes mom?”

“Come and sit with me for a minute.”

I opened the door and perched on the edge of her bed.

“Are you okay, mom? You left so early.”

“I wanted to meet your friends, and Doctor Cullen. But let’s face it, you didn’t need your mother hanging around and cramping your style at your party. How did the karaoke go? Emmett told me about that.”

I smiled, laughing quietly at her expression.

“It was really good. Everyone sang – well, nearly everyone. You know Emmett! Very few escape the microphone when he’s in charge! “

 She smiled a fond smile; I knew her soft spot for Emmett would never change.

“I told him to look after Rosalie, such a lovely girl; beautiful manners as well as looks. It’s about time he found himself a nice young lady – he deserves to be happy.”

She clasped my hands looking serious.

“And so do you, my darling. I can’t begin to understand your relationship with Carlisle, but from listening to Emmett and, strangely, his very sweet ex-wife, I can see that they both approve of you two.  Esme just wants him to be happy, and Emmett wants the same for you.”

Her eyes dropped, but she held fast to my hands.

“He told me something tonight. He said that he didn’t think I’d be staying here again, at the apartment, I mean.”

My mouth dropped open. I had seriously underestimated my best friend; he was more perceptive than I gave him credit for. I remembered his comment to me in the bar, that moving home was what I said I wanted, and a smile spread across my face, unrestrained and telling.

She looked at me intently.

“Edward? What is it?”

“Emm was right. Carlisle asked me tonight to move in. He actually asked me once before, but, at the time, I didn’t think he was serious. Then tonight he asked me again and this time there was no doubt at all that he meant it.”

She was silent, watching me.

“I said yes, mom. I’ll be moving in as soon as I can. He’s all I want. I just love him.”

She squeezed my hands in support.

“If he makes you happy then go be with him. I’ll get past this in time. If you two are going to go the distance then I’ll have to get used to the idea. And I promise to try; I’ll get to know him and try not to give him a hard time. You have to understand that it’s a mother’s duty; we have this overwhelming urge to protect our children against the world, and anyone in it that we don’t deem good for them.” She sighed. “You’re 21 – a man now. It’s time to let go and let you make your own way in the world and hope you make the right choices. Just know that I love you – you’ll always be my baby boy.”

Misty eyed, I leaned in to kiss her and she hugged me fiercely.

“Happy birthday, my darling boy; go be with him tomorrow. I’ll take an earlier flight.”

I looked at her with some uncertainty.

“Are you sure? You’re welcome to stay as long as you want you know.”

“You don’t want your mom hanging around. Besides – you’ve got a house moving to plan, and a new life to start.”

“Okay, if you’re really sure. But do me one favour? At least let me drive you to the airport?”

She nodded.

“I’d like that.”

~xxXxx~

When I awoke I heard mom in the kitchen and smiled, nostalgic for my childhood days. Pulling on my comfy, battered old jeans and Carlisle’s favourite purple shirt, I emerged to find a stack of pancakes waiting for me, oozing syrup. Seeing me in the doorway, she poured me a coffee and smiled like she always did when she surprised me.

“Happy birthday, baby; now eat before they get cold!”

I didn’t need telling twice and set to demolishing the stack before me with relish. Mom ate her considerably smaller serving whilst watching me, evidently enjoying the sight of her baby boy eating a filling meal. Or maybe she thought I wasn’t feeding myself. Knowing mom like I did, that option was more likely.

As I was scraping the last of the syrup off my plate and wiping the stray dribble from my chin, she handed me a package, biting her lip.

“I hope you like it.”

Unwrapping the small parcel carefully, I found a dark blue box containing a beautiful watch. Turning it over, I saw it was engraved:

‘For my son on his 21st. Love always, mom.’

I swallowed the lump in my throat, fastening the piece on to my wrist and going to hug her tight.

“Do you like it?” She sounded nervous.

“It’s gorgeous, mom. Thank you so much.”

Pulling back a little, she rummaged in her purse and withdrew an envelope from the depths.

“There’s more. I’ve been saving for this day for some time, and I wanted to give you something you needed. When you told me about the accident and that you had a new car, I knew what to do.”

She handed me the envelope then.

“Give this to Emmett as part of your loan repayment. I think it will help quite a bit.”

I frowned then, pulling out the folded stack of bills within. My voice was barely a whisper.

“Mom – there’s over a thousand dollars here.”

“It’s two thousand exactly, baby.”

I reeled in shock.

“I can’t accept that, mom. It’s far too much. You should keep your savings for yourself.”

She shook her head briskly.

“Nonsense. I’ve been putting some by for years now to help towards a deposit for an apartment of your own or a car. So here it is. I wish it were more. It’s a new start, Edward: new car, new home, new relationship. Let me help in my own way.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I hugged and kissed her, unable to express my gratitude. The money would clear a huge chunk of my debt to Emmett, and no longer paying rent to my landlord would be of immense help too.

A thought crossed my mind then; I would want to pay my way with Carlisle too. That was something we needed to agree on, even if it was just paying for groceries and gas. I would not be a freeloader and allow Carlisle to pay for everything. I had my pride.

When mom was ready to leave, I took her to the airport via Emmett’s as she wanted to say goodbye to him too. When we knocked, he appeared, still chewing what appeared to be a late breakfast. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and he pulled her into one of his bear hugs when she explained she was leaving early.

He invited us in, but mom said no. Then we heard a soft voice from the kitchen.

“Emmett? Would Elizabeth and Edward like a drink?”

Rosalie’s face appeared around the door, smiling at us; I noticed Emm’s blush and happy smile.

“Morning, Rosalie. Good to see you again.”

She smiled, somewhat bashfully.

“Good morning, Elizabeth. I hope the karaoke didn’t keep you up last night. I should think this pair could be heard all the way across town!”

Emmett gasped in mock horror, and I laughed.

“You love my singing – you said so.” He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close to him.

“Yeah, I just said that so you’d cook me breakfast.” She giggled when he kissed her loudly on the cheek.

“Keep telling yourself that, babe.”

Mom was smiling, evidently very happy to see her ‘second son’ so happy. They made their goodbyes, and soon we were pulling into the departures drop off point. Jumping out of the car, I unloaded her bags but she stopped me from carrying them in, instead fussing with my collar in a way that made me feel like a schoolboy again.

“Mom...” I almost whined, and she mock-scolded me.

“You should look your best. You have a handsome man waiting for you.”

“Mom, he’d love me wearing a garbage sack.”

_Or nothing at all._

“No matter, there,” she finished adjusting. “You look very handsome yourself; this colour suits you. My little boy is all grown up. I’m so proud.”

I blushed a little. “Call me on my cell when you get home?”

She waved her hand in agreement, but looked secretly pleased.

“If you insist, now off you go; there’s no sense both of us hanging around here.”

Leaving her to board, I drove away, heading to Carlisle’s, ready to surprise him.

~xxXxx~

It had started to rain, a fine drizzle that made it impossible to keep a clear windshield and certainly not befitting a day as momentous as this. My joy was unrestrained, my need to see him eclipsing all other thoughts.

I debated on using my key, but to me that was only for when Carlisle wasn’t home. Plus, I didn’t officially live there yet, but it couldn’t happen soon enough for me. I rang the bell for what could possibly be the last time. His face when he opened the door was better than winning the lottery.

“Honey, I’m home,” I quipped, and I found myself being pulled inside and kissed hard, our arms winding around each other like ivy, hands clutching and grasping. With a herculean effort, our lips parted enough for him to speak.

“Are you here for a quick visit or to stay?” he breathed.

I grinned.

“What do you think?”

His chuckles were music to my ears.

“Let’s celebrate, shall we?”

Taking my hand, he led me upstairs to our bedroom where he pressed me against the closed door. Fingers slowly unfastened my shirt buttons while his lips toyed with mine, light grazing kisses that he did not allow me to return; the tormenting touch of his tongue tracing the swollen fullness of my top lip was indescribable... I was going quietly insane.

“This is my favourite shirt, _(pop)_ so I won’t ruin it, _(pop)_ but damn,( _pop) y_ ou look good enough to eat.”

Last button undone, my shirt fell open, enabling his questing fingers to trace the planes of my chest. Thumbs circled my nipples as lips cruised up my neck, dropping hot kisses along my throat. My mouth was open and my breathing rough, his thumbs playing a symphony over my sensitive nubs. I moaned long and low, warm tendrils of longing unfurling and radiating across my body, scorching every inch of me from the inside out. My fingers lost themselves in his hair, my hand holding his head in place against my neck; his talented tongue flickered along my skin, soothing each spot that his teeth deliberately grazed, on his achingly slow, upward journey.

His nose nudged the underside of my jaw, his lips whispering over my skin, higher and higher, until hot breath spilled across my ear, turning my knees to water. At that moment, I was grateful my back was pressed against the wood of the door so that I couldn’t slide to the floor, lost in the euphoria he alone could invoke.

The touch of his tongue inside my ear drew from me a cry of such desperation that it felt as if it were being torn from my heaving chest. My whole body shuddered, my heart beating a staccato rhythm in time with his plunging tongue. I was a whimpering, writhing wreck, nothing more than sensation held together by desperate need.

It felt like a thousand years had passed before his mouth found mine again, reclaiming it like a long lost jewel in the desert. I drank him in, moaning like a greedy whore as my hands pulled his hips tight against mine, his arousal pressing into me. Although I longed to drop to my knees and taste him, I had no choice but to let him lead, completely under his thrall. He bucked against me, tormenting me with promises of pleasures to follow.

I felt his hands at my belt, sliding it open and leaving it hanging, the achingly slow lowering of my zipper making my helpless groan a plea for more. He pulled back and I bit my lip, seeing his eyes darken with lust. With a sharp breath his lips claimed mine again, the kiss deep and bruising, sending my senses spinning out of control. I couldn’t get him close enough, crushing his head to mine as our kiss bordered on savage.

He reached inside my pants and palmed me; the kiss broke as I gasped and panted for air, gazing into his eyes. He sank to his knees, his eyes never leaving mine as he released the button, lowering the fabric until it bunched around my thighs. My underwear was next, added to the wad of material above my knees, before he leaned in and took a hold of my shaft. I held my breath then, watching the head of my cock slide between his plump lips as he took me all the way in. The feel of my flesh sliding over his tongue was exquisite, as he took me deep into the opening of his throat; my eyes fluttered closed and my breath caught, pleasure blooming behind my eyelids as I tried not to thrust into his mouth. When he released me, his hands stroking my thighs, he sat back on his heels and looked up at me.

His voice was sultry, his eyes hooded.

“Edward, what you asked me for: do you still want that?”

I nodded slowly. His signature smile made my heart pound.

“In that case, let’s work on getting you nice and relaxed.”

He slid my bunched up clothes down to the floor so I could step out of them, his warm hands reaching around to grasp my ass, pulling my hips forward until my cock found his lips again. He sucked me teasingly slow, his dark eyes watching me the whole time. I groaned at the sight, trying to buck my hips in encouragement but his hands slid round to my hips, pinning me to the door. After running the flat of his tongue up the length of my cock one last time, he dipped his head and nuzzled my balls, suckling each in turn.  As he rolled his tongue around them, his hand slid down to pump my now leaking shaft. I was getting close, and tried to make him stop so it wasn’t over so quickly. Although his attention was diverted from my aching balls, his hand continued its merciless rhythm as he kissed his way up over my stomach, lingering over my abs with long, leisurely swipes of his tongue before I cried out, my back arching as streams of come landed both on my stomach and on his waiting tongue.

I shuddered and moaned, his hand slowing as he eased out the last drops, cleaning me as he did so. When he stood, I all but slumped into his arms feeling like my legs would give way at any moment. He chuckled and backed toward the bed ( _our bed)_ , turning me so that I could lie back on the cool covers that felt so good against my heated skin. My relaxation lasted but a second; watching Carlisle release his belt and zipper and drop his pants to the floor was a defining moment. He kicked them away and moved forward until his legs were against the mattress, his heavy cock standing proud. Unable to tear my eyes away from it, I rolled over and scooted to the edge of the bed on my stomach. Craning my neck, I was able to take him into me whilst one hand cupped and massaged his sac. His breathing quickened, hips swaying forward in the gentlest motion as he sank deeply into my eager mouth.

But, just as I was getting into my stride, his hands found my hair and stilled my actions, carefully withdrawing from me.

His voice was husky now as he looked down into my eyes.

“Come right to the edge of the bed and get onto your knees.” He patted the coverlet and I did as he asked.

“Lean forward, love, I need that beautiful ass up in the air.”

His words made my entire body flush with blood, and I idly wondered if my ass cheeks were as pink as my face. I assumed the position he requested, trembling a little with a mix of anticipation and nerves, but I wasn’t worried; I knew I was going have one hell of a good time.

His fingers stroked the curves of my ass reverently, as if it were the eighth wonder of the world. As he caressed and palmed my flesh, his thumbs skated up my crease, parting my cheeks each time. I felt the air on my exposed hole and mentally told myself to relax; this time when his thumbs swept up and over, they rubbed either side of my pucker, just enough to make me squirm. On the next sweep, I found myself pushing back into his thumbs and was rewarded with his warm tongue flickering between them, circling inward, making me gasp and moan loudly into the mattress.

His tongue retreated for a moment and I groaned in disappointment. His thumbs were still working their magic and I pressed upward. Hearing his chuckle, I felt the soft pad of his thumb circle directly over my hole, teasing the opening before the tip slipped inside without difficulty. 

_So... good... more... please... oh god, please lick me again..._

 All that escaped my mouth amid unashamed groans was the single word ‘please’.

“More, Edward? More of this, do you mean?”

And then his agile tongue found its target once again, flickering all around my tender muscle before slipping inside to drive me insane. My knee slipped to the side as my foot tried to paddle the sheet, the feeling intense as anticipation built rapidly.

My arms trembled as he tongue-fucked me relentlessly; I mewled like a kitten, pushing my ass into his face as he worshipped my most tender place. When his finger slid inside, followed by another shortly afterward, I was too far gone to care. He twisted and turned them and I hung from his knuckles, chanting his name over and over; when they slid from me and were replaced by his mouth, sucking now as well as lapping and probing, I was almost incoherent.

My chest was heaving painfully when he retreated, smoothing my ass with both palms as if it were a priceless artefact.

“Are you ready for more, Edward?”

“Yes... _yes...”_

I heard the click of the lube bottle, and the rustle of the condom wrapper being torn. I told my body to relax, to make this as easy as possible. We’d done this before when I’d had no experience whatsoever; at least this time I knew what to expect, and I knew I could trust Carlisle with my life.

The coolness of the lube made me start, jolting me out of my reverie.

“How would you prefer to do this, my love? This is all about you.”

I felt warm kisses on the base of my back and shivered at the change in temperature. Sitting back on my heels, I turned to face him.

“What do you suggest?” I blushed like a virgin.

He crawled onto the bed and lay down, his hands reaching for me.

“Let’s try you going on top to start. Take as long as you need; we have all the time in the world.”

Straddling him somewhat awkwardly, I let him guide me until he was poised at my entrance. Staring into his beautiful eyes, so full of love for me, I breathed out hard and sank down a fraction, feeling the head of his cock breach me. Stilling for a moment, I prepared to take more when I felt able. Slowly, so very slowly, I slid down, little by little, until I was stretched open around him. My eyes were wide when I finally had all of him inside me; I almost forgot I needed to move.

His hands on my ass encouraged me to rock, helping me find a rhythm that worked for me. Every time he slipped out a little, my body shuddered with pleasure and I learned what to do to enhance that sensation. Lifting a little and sinking back down felt so good and I saw Carlisle’s cheeks flush, his eyes dark and hooded with pure desire.

As I grew in confidence, he added more to the mix. The first time that he thrust upward, I almost lost my balance, my body lost in pleasure. He held me tight, fingers splayed over my ass possessively as his cock slid in and out of my body. My head fell forward, eyes closed and mouth open in euphoria as my hands gripped his hips like a rodeo rider on his first time out on a wild stallion. My cock was hard again, the feel of it slapping against my stomach simply adding to my combined sensory pleasure. Sensing my impending loss of control, he stilled and I looked up, questions mingled with pleas shining in my eyes.

“I think you’re ready for more now.”

His heated gaze could not be denied. I found myself expertly flipped onto my back in a simple movement, Carlisle still buried to the hilt within me. Now free to move as he wished, he flexed his hips once to test my reaction and I fought to stop my eyes from closing. My legs lifted automatically and I rested them on his gorgeous ass; he took that as his cue to move and began an even, regular rhythm. My hips lifted to encourage him to take me, claim me as his; I knew he understood when his hands reached for mine, our fingers curling around each other’s and holding tight, our bodies riding the intertwined waves of passion and love. Leaning in, he finally kissed me, our combined breathless moans more perfectly crafted than any piece of classical music.

His thrusts grew in urgency, and I saw his need for me reflected in his eyes. Releasing my hands, he reached between us for my cock, swollen and leaking onto my stomach from the friction of his body. His grip was firm and sure, his hand pumping in time with each snap of his hips. I urged him on, my breathing ragged and my cock wet with the fluid that his hand collected on each upward stroke. I could feel the heat gathering deep inside, a tumultuous river of ecstasy threatening to burst its banks at any moment. With each thrust I lifted my hips to meet him and saw his eyes glaze, his face flushed as he approached the point of no return.  His hand moved rapidly on my aching flesh, my lungs straining as I too strived for release, teeth clenched, and eyes wild.

My head fell back when the wave engulfed me and I cried out his name as my back arched into him. I felt my muscles grip him tightly as I came long and hard, come splashing onto my chest. Forcing my eyes open, I saw Carlisle’s desperate face as my contractions induced his own climax, his face etched with the exquisite agony of release.

Our heaving, sweating bodies stayed locked together as our mouths found each other in soft kisses of passion spent and the promise of love everlasting.

~xxXxx~

 

Lying in the circle of his arms, his lips brushing my temple as he sleepily nuzzled my hair, I smiled.

“If only those nurses knew what they were missing.”

I giggled a little to myself.

“Hmm?” He face nestled into my neck.

“They have a nickname for you, you know. I have to say, it’s pretty perfect.”

He shifted a little so he could look at me, frowning. I stroked my thumb over the fine lines on his forehead with a mischievous smile.

“The nurses, both male and female, so I’m told, all refer to you as Dr Do-Me.” 

He raised a sardonic eyebrow as he raised himself up on his elbow.

“Is that so?”

I nodded, eyes widening for emphasis.

“Carlisle, you’re so damn hot, half the staff want you. Did you never notice?”

He looked startled for a moment before brushing his lips over mine, his tongue licking my lower lip enticingly.

“I should get you a white coat then.”

It was my turn to look confused. His lips brushed mine, soft as a snowflake.

“Why?”

“Because then I could legitimately say, ‘Oh Doctor Masen, please do _me_ now.”

I dissolved into laughter that turned into moans as his kiss consumed me once more.

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this image in my head of Emmett checking the CCTV footage and finding out what happened after closing. I see him watching for a few seconds, confused as to what’s going on, and then, around the time that clothing starts coming off, slamming the laptop shut and rubbing his eyes, muttering ‘no no no no no.....’ *gigglesnort*
> 
> Thank you as always to my beta mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	19. Chapter 19

**Carlisle’s POV**

We spent the afternoon at Edward’s apartment, loading both cars with his belongings to move him into our home. I hadn’t known that he rented the place furnished, and so no furniture needed to move; while he packed boxes of books and music, I packed the contents of his wardrobe and chest of drawers into suitcases. Seeing our photos still by his bed, I smiled to myself, placing them amongst his clothes for protection. Most of the kitchen was to stay; his food was boxed, his refrigerator emptied. Edward gathered all of his toiletries and shaving equipment from the bathroom whilst I gathered towels and linens.

Standing surrounded by boxes and cases, he took a long look around before carefully removing a print from its nail on the living room wall, standing it with the rest.

“Is that everything?”

He turned to me.

“That’s it.” He leaned in and kissed me lightly, his nose nudging mine. “Let’s go home.”

My heart soared. He bent down, picking up the first of the boxes and I followed suit. Smiling at me, he hefted the box in his arms.

“Lead the way, handsome.”

It took a few trips to get everything into the cars, but soon the boxes were stashed in the Volvo, the suitcases and bags in the Mercedes. We stood in the empty apartment one last time.

“Are you handing the key straight back to the landlord today?”

He looked confused for a moment.

“I don’t want to pay rent on a place I don’t use, so yeah - going to hand in the key straight away.”

I had an idea.

“Any objections if I make a call first?”

He shook his head and watched as I scrolled through my phone, finding the number. Hitting call, I waited until the voice came on the line.

“Jasper? It’s Carlisle. That new apartment you were looking for? I think I may have just the place. Meet me as soon as you can at Apartment C, 125 Oak Street...”

Waiting around proved to be a lot of fun when there was a comfy couch and a gorgeous man on it to distract me. We kissed and fondled, stopping short of actual dry humping, as we said our goodbyes to Edward’s former home.

Twenty minutes later there was a knock at the open door, and a casually attired Jasper, in jeans, black shirt and a maroon waistcoat, waited there, eyes bright with anticipation. Jumping up and smoothing my hair, I beckoned him in.

“Come on in, Jas, and take a look around. We thought you might like first refusal on this place as Edward and I are now officially living together.”

I couldn’t stop smiling – it was a physical impossibility. Edward’s arm was around my waist, his body flush with mine, and I could feel his heat soaking into me. A few weeks ago I would never have thought it possible that I could desire another so strongly, wanting them repeatedly in a matter of hours and yet, even after our earlier mind-blowing sex, I wanted him again – soon. And what amazed me every single day was that I knew Edward felt exactly the same.

Jasper looked from me to Edward and back again, a grin spreading across his face.

“Congrats guys! I’m stoked for you both! And Alice will be thrilled – does she know yet?”

I shook my head with a chuckle.

“You can tell her if you like. Then I’ll wait for the phone to ring and the excited squealing to start!”

Running his hand through his hair, he walked through to the kitchen, then on to the bedrooms, exclaiming on the size of the main room. Appearing back in the living room, his eyes were bright with excitement.

“There’s so much light! My place is so dark; this is a palace compared to my dump and it’s so much closer to work too. It’s really fully furnished? This is awesome! Who do I call?”

His enthusiasm was infectious. Edward found his landlord’s number and showed it to Jasper who quickly dialled. As he made arrangements to take over the lease, Edward turned and kissed me, sealing the deal.

~xxXxx~

Back at the house, we were unloading the bags and boxes in the garage when Edward looked at me uncertainly.

“We don’t have to keep all my stuff in the house if it’s too much. I know it doesn’t exactly go with your decor.”

I put down the box of books I was holding.

“Do you honestly think I’d ask you to live with me and then make you leave your worldly goods in the garage? There’s plenty of space here for your things. Now, let’s get you unpacked.”

Picking up the box again, I carried it into the kitchen and placed it on the counter top. Edward followed me in with another box and, working together, we soon had everything inside. When I had woken up that morning, I had set about making space in my closet and chest of drawers for his clothes; now there were hangers crying out for his shirts and empty drawer space for his socks and underwear.

The best thing of all was that I no longer had an empty bed that cried out for Edward’s warm body; as of tonight both my heart and my bed would be full, my dream fulfilled. I knew people, and not just Elizabeth, would say it was too fast, that we were rushing things and they were right. It hadn’t been long, yet my world made no sense without him. My yearning for him when we were apart was a constant craving that ate away at my soul like the destructive drug that almost stole him away from me so soon after we first met.

Carrying his cases upstairs, he looked around the room with a smile.

“I can’t quite believe I’m hanging my clothes in _our_ bedroom.”

Leaning against the doorframe, I watched as he took it all in properly for a moment and then turned to me with that beautiful smile that stopped my heart. Crossing the space between us, I ran my hands across his shoulders, my face almost touching his.

“And your toothbrush will be in _our_ bathroom, your books in _our_ living room, and your car in _our_ garage.” I half laughed quietly, my nose nuzzling his for a second.

“It doesn’t feel real,” he confessed. “It feels like I’m not quite awake. When I was staying here, I dreamed of this; being with you always.”

“Then let me make it real.”

My mouth slid down to where his lips were waiting, his breathing quickening in anticipation.

“Welcome home,” I murmured against his parted lips before drawing him into a slow, seductive kiss.

The tip of his tongue sought out its mate, sending heat pulsating through my body. Pulling him in tighter, I deepened the kiss, keeping it unhurried and sensuous, as it pulled us both into a hypnotic trance where the world consisted solely of this room, this moment. I knew then that the kiss could last forever and yet I would still crave more.

And I loved it.

Pulling back with a breathless sigh, he looked into my eyes.

“Now that I live here,” he smiled bashfully, and I loved how happy he was, “I want to set a few rules. Well, okay – one. Hear me out, okay?”

I nodded, somewhat intrigued as to where he was headed.

“My one stipulation is that I get to pay my way.” Despite myself, I opened my mouth to protest; he raised an eyebrow and I shut it again.

“My mom gave me a generous gift today which will pay off quite a bit of the money I owe Emmett for the car. And, what with the money I’ll be saving on rent, I’ll have enough to quickly pay him back in full. So, I want to contribute to the bills around here. I need to be a part of it – do you understand where I’m coming from? I want us to be a partnership.”

While I didn’t need Edward’s money and I certainly didn’t want to take it, I wanted this to be his home and would therefore willingly agree to almost anything he asked if it meant he never left.

“So you’re saying you don’t want to be a kept man? I can live with that. There’s no mortgage on the house as you know, and only the standard bills as such. You won’t be paying rent here as I’m most definitely not your landlord, but, if you say you want to pay a share towards the bills, buy groceries or whatever you think is best, then okay, I agree to that. Just promise me one thing in return...”

“Name it.”

“You accept the occasional gift as being just that – a gift. I will never stop wanting to make you happy, and gifts are a small part of that, no matter if they’re just small and dumb, or a little more ostentatious. I want to show you how much I love you in any way I can.” I grinned and stroked his hair with my thumbs, my hands cupping his face. “And the piano is just such a gift. I know you wanted to pay rental, but just this once I wanted to give you a gift you’d love forever. Are you okay with that?”

His open smile and tight embrace told me he was.

Leaving him to unpack, I set to integrating his books and music into my library. Finding a few duplicate classical CDs, I set them aside; our taste in literature was diverse, and I found no doubles as I sorted and shelved. Hearing Edward’s footfalls on the stairs, he appeared a couple of seconds later in the doorway.

“All done upstairs!” He looked at the shelves. “Wow; my stuff doesn’t even make a dent, does it.”

Picking up the CDs from the carpet, he smiled.

“You already have these?”

“Yep. I guess our tastes are pretty similar when it comes to the classics.”

He laid them on the table with a clatter.

“Guess I get to keep them in my car then. So, what should we-“

The phone rang and, with an eyebrow flash at me, Edward answered it, his first call as an official member of the Cullen household. Or should that be the Masen-Cullen household? My mind wandered down happy pathways as I heard his voice, bright and upbeat, talking to his mom. This time he sounded more positive and in control; I hoped this meant an end to hostilities or, at the very least, a ceasefire for today. From what he’d told me, it seemed she had left with some level of acceptance about us. I hoped it would flourish, and that in time she would feel comfortable enough to come to stay here for visits with him and the awkwardness between the three of us would eventually dissipate.

“Okay mom; love you too. Yes, I’ll tell him, I promise.” He grinned and looked at me then. “Bye mom.”

He replaced the handset, and I had to ask, curiosity eating away at me even as I dreaded the response.

“Well? What’s the verdict? She didn’t seem keen on me at all, a fact she made quite clear yesterday.  She thinks I’m unsuitable for you.”

The memory depressed me. I couldn’t love him more if I lived to be 300 years old. I didn’t know what else I could do to win her approval to be in love with her son.

 “She seems okay; in fact she asked if I was all moved in.”

My eyes widened.

“And...?”

“Well... she wouldn’t be drawn, but she said she’ll be in touch with you shortly.”

 “With me? Why? Is she coming around to the idea of us? I don’t expect too much – her acceptance of me just being in your life is the best I’m prepared to hope for.”

He smiled, his eyes sparkling.

“You know, when we were at the airport, she told me to leave and get back to my handsome man waiting for me.”

“She really said that?”

“Yeah, she thinks you’re handsome too.” He tilted his head in amusement. “She and I clearly have the same good taste!” His smile was wicked as he walked over to me, his hand reaching around to stroke my ass.

Pulling him close, I relished his rapid inhalation when I lowered my face to his neck, dropping a feather soft kiss to his throat. Smiling to myself, my nose caressed the underside of his jaw, his head tilting to give me better access.

“Don’t start what you don’t intend to finish, Mr Masen; I’m an expert at this game.”

Struggling to remain calm and unaffected, he turned to look at me, an eyebrow raised as if in challenge.

“ _Again?_ Didn’t you get enough this morning, Doctor?”

His teasingly mocking tone only served to inflame me further, and I bit his ear before fluttering my tongue inside.

“Enough? Is there such a thing?” My whisper sent a shudder coursing through his body; I could feel the goose bumps rise on his skin as my hand inched under his shirt.

Pulling back abruptly, my hand retreated and I watched as he swayed unsteadily, confusion and desire etched across his features.

“Of course, if you’ve had enough for now, I’ll get on with hanging those pictures...”

As I made to move away, a hand clamped down on my wrist, the other winding behind my neck in the second before his lips crashed into mine, all pretence over. The air around us thickened with carnal hunger, a deliciously potent fog that clouded my rational mind and freed my animal instincts.

Drunk on desire, I breathed him in; our kiss was deep and demanding, branding each other with heat and uncontrolled passion.

One single word shone, bright as silver, in my head. It was a thought that I knew I shared with Edward in that moment.

~xxXxx~

 

Rolling over onto his elbow next to me, his hair gloriously dishevelled by my own proprietary hands, Edward bit his lip.

“So I thought of something. What exactly did you have planned for my birthday? You still haven’t said, and it is still my birthday for a little while longer.”

My eyes roamed the length of his body, lingering where my come was smeared across his stomach. The sight of him, flushed and replete for now, put me in the mood to tease.

“I had booked us a couple of nights away in a cottage, not too far from here. It’s secluded and private in its own grounds with a view of the ocean; it’s perfect for some time alone. Of course, that was before, when we were living apart. Now that you’re here, I guess you wouldn’t want to go now. I should cancel the reservation.”

I kept my face impassive, waiting for his reaction. His eyes had lit up at the prospect, and when I mentioned cancelling, they had widened in alarm.

“Two days with no interruptions? And we can be naked whenever we want?”

I swear I saw drool on his chin, and I couldn’t hold back my mirth. My voice was choked with laughter.

“Would you still like to go, Edward? I won’t mind if you say no.”

 He rolled completely over until he was lying across me, pinning me to the floor.

“When do we leave?”

~xxXxx~

I rang that night to confirm the reservation was still available and to make the payment. We were packed and on the road early the next morning.

Edward spoke to Emmett on the way, letting him know we wouldn’t be home. Hearing him agreeing with Emmett, laughing and telling him he was a smart ass, I grinned. When he hung up he turned to me.

“Emm sends his congratulations to us both and said he told mom on Saturday night that this would happen.” He frowned for a second. “Come to think of it, I told mom to call me on my cell, but she rang the house phone. How did she even get the number?”

“I gave it to her. I figured she might want to speak to me again when she had had some time to think about everything that happened this weekend. That’s okay, isn’t it? And as you live there now, she would have had it anyway at some point.”

He sat back in his seat, and just for a moment I feared I had overstepped the mark.

“Edward?”

He looked at me for a moment, before blinking. “Hmm?”

“Should I not have given it to her? I wasn’t being presumptuous, just...”

“No! No, it’s fine! I was just marvelling at how Emm knows us better than we know ourselves. He saw this coming; when I went back to work, he made a comment about my moving back home. It made me think.” His long fingers raked his hair. “I knew then I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to assume anything with us.” He gave an embarrassed laugh. “I was prepared to wait as long as it took for us to be together. I just can’t imagine not being with you now.”

His hand rested loosely across my leg, and I squeezed it.

“I know the feeling.”

It was a short drive to the cottage, and soon I was turning down the dead end road that curved round, before the house itself hove into view. It was almost entirely surrounded by water, the Sound making the perfect backdrop for a relaxing weekend. I saw the car parked to the side and knew the owners were here, dropping off the keys. Switching off the engine, I climbed out, collecting the bags from the trunk, and went inside. Edward followed me in, looking around. The lady owner, Mrs Cooper, was inside, checking everything was up to scratch and handed me the key, wishing us a pleasant stay. As her car drove away, I turned the key in the door.

Edward was in the lounge room in front of a banked fireplace.

“Is this real?” He looked dubious.

I grinned. “It’s real, and we’ll need it later; it gets cold up here at night.”

“You’ve been here before?” His face dropped and I realised that he was imagining Marcus and I enjoying the private space.

“Yes; a private function for the hospital. A group of us came out here for a weekend to hold an informal conference. It’s a quiet, ideal setting to get work done.”

I could see the relief in his posture, and I felt bad for him.

“Edward, I’ve only ever been here the once, and I thought of it immediately when I planned this little break. Somewhere that can be just ours for the time we’re here. No other connotations.” I reached for his hand. “Shall we look around?”

Picking up the bags between us, he grasped my offered hand and together we took the stairs and found the biggest bedroom all ready for us. The room was decorated in a soft, cornflower blue, emphasising the stunning view outside the window. Dropping the bags on the bed, we walked to the window, my arms slipping around his waist, holding his warm body close to mine. We stood in silence, watching a ferry cross the Sound, before I let my arms slide free, walking back to the bags. I retrieved the few clothes I had brought and hung them up before going in search of the bathroom, finding it down the hall. When I returned, Edward’s spare shirt, jeans and underwear were hung over the chair, and I laughed to myself, guessing that was where they would stay until either worn, or repacked. He saw my face and smirked, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

 “What? It’s not worth hanging them up. Besides, you promised me two days of naked fun and so far, we’re both still clothed.”

Crawling across the bed to me, his eyes threw down a challenge. Bending down to brush my lips over his, I backed away before he could entice me further.

“I vote we eat first, build up our strength, and then we can take our time. Did I mention there’s a hot tub?”

His face lit up.

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”

“Funnily enough, neither did I.”

Sliding quickly off of the bed, he walked to the door, grabbing my hand on the way.

“Let’s eat!”

Making our way to the kitchen, we explored the refrigerator and selected some fresh salad and lobster and, working together, we had a meal prepared in no time at all. Carrying out the food to the balcony, we sat looking out over the Sound as we ate, the birds wheeling overhead providing us with an ambient backdrop. From our elevated viewpoint, I showed Edward where we had been on the boat, and roughly where the whales were that he so badly wanted to see. I hadn’t forgotten about that – it was on my list of things to do that would make Edward happy.

Lunch done, I went to fetch some fruit salad for dessert. Edward followed me in and flopped onto the comfy couch and it was there that I found him, sprawled out happily. He made to move when I returned, but I stopped him, sitting on the rug beside him.

“Dessert?” I proffered the fruit platter temptingly; I waited until his hand reached out before I moved it out of reach. I chuckled at his pout.

“I have an idea. Are you game?”

He grinned. “What d’you have in mind?”

I stood up, placing the fruit on the table.

“Wait there.” I went upstairs, returning swiftly to find him waiting with interest now.

“What do you have behind your back? Should I be worried?”

Kneeling next to him, I produced a light scarf, ostensibly for the colder evenings should we venture outside. With a grin, I wrapped it around his eyes, adjusting it to make sure he couldn’t see, placing the lube and condoms from my pocket on the floor nearby. Returning to the kitchen, I collected a fresh hand towel and a bottle of easy-squeeze honey.

“Edward, did you ever see an old 80’s movie, ‘9 ½ weeks’? It has a very famous scene in it.”

“Never heard of it. What ‘s it about?”

Leaning in, I licked his lip. “Let me show you.”

Selecting a succulent piece of fresh pineapple, I touched it to his lower lip for the briefest of moments to leave only the most subtle flavour residue. His tongue automatically licked his lip, his mouth opening in expectation. This time I touched it to his upper lip, again out of reach of his questing tongue. He made a sound of annoyance and tried to reach up for the fruit, a droplet of juice falling onto his chin. I watched fascinated as his tongue chased and captured it, fighting every urge I had to just kiss him into unconsciousness. I lowered the pineapple segment to his mouth, letting him mouth it a little and pull it in far enough to bite off a piece. As the last of it disappeared, I touched my wet fingers to his lower lip, gasping when his tongue flickered out to collect the juice there before he reached up and captured my middle finger, sucking it into his hot mouth right to the base.

I groaned at the sensation, the sight of it turning me on more than I could ever have believed. Leaning in, I slid my finger free and bit his luscious lower lip, sucking it into my mouth for a second before pulling away. His head lifted from the couch as he tried to kiss me; I held back until, seeing his frustration, I slid my hand under his head, my fingers tangling in his hair as my mouth finally melded with his.

Breaking free, my breathing uneven, I saw the tell-tale flush in his cheeks and I knew that beneath the scarf his eyes were darkening. I slid his shirt up over his stomach, bunching it up over his ribs. Reaching for the honey, I flipped open the cap and saw Edward’s face register confusion.

“Lube? Shouldn’t I at least take my pants off first?”

Shaking the bottle, I smiled to myself. “It’s not lube, my love.”

Squeezing the bottle lightly, I drizzled a tiny amount of honey over his nipple, enjoying his sudden flinch at the unexpected sensation. Then it was my turn; I sucked his nipple into my mouth, revelling in his groan. One thing I had learned about Edward – he had the most exquisitely sensitive nipples, and I adored pleasuring him that way, torturing the swollen nubs with my fingers, lips and teeth. Leaning over his prone figure, I dribbled more honey onto its twin, this time flickering my tongue over it before using my teeth to remove most of the sweet coating. Sharp cries escaped him each time my teeth passed across the reddened nub and I knew he wouldn’t take much more before he pulled me onto the couch with him.

With honey smeared across my mouth, I kissed him, finally letting him in on the action. He licked my lips and grinned.

“That was incredible. What do you have planned next?”

I traced the outline of his jaw, running my finger over the bow of his lip, before I reached over and untied the scarf.

_Now or never._

“I want us to watch this.” I held up the DVD from the CCTV footage.

He cringed. “Why? That’s so embarrassing.”

“Maybe. But honestly, it’s you and me, and we’re so amazing together. Don’t you want to see how hot we are?” He looked doubtful, and I nuzzled his neck playfully, whispering the words directly into his ear. “I want to see how incredibly hot you looked when you were fucking me because if watching it is even _half_ as good as doing it was....” I tailed off at his sharp inhalation. “Please?”

I pressed a kiss to his throat and he swallowed hard.

“Okay. But I get control of the remote.”

 “Done.”

I loaded the DVD and switched on the flat screen. Handing the remote to Edward, I leaned back against the couch and felt his fingers grip my shoulder when the screen lit up and the bar came into view once more.

When we kissed on the screen, I could feel his awkwardness in the way his grip initially tightened, and I reached up to massage his fingers. When his hand loosened, I turned it over to kiss his palm before turning back to the screen.

I watched myself walk him back across the bar, remembering in that moment just how urgent my need for him had been that night. I had spent the day missing him, knowing I wouldn’t see him until the following evening, but then, on arriving home, I had found the food he had brought for me and the key he had left on the piano. After that, I had known that I couldn’t wait until the party to touch him again, and I had gone to him as if pulled by an invisible cord.

Even without sound, the images were having a profound effect on me. I could feel the heat prickling under my skin as I remembered how badly I had wanted to taste him. Edward had been so turned on that he had been shaking with need under my lips and hands. Watching myself unfasten his pants, I heard his breathing catch behind me, his fingers burying themselves in my hair. The absent minded scratching of his blunt nails across my scalp sent shivers down my spine. Encouraged by the fact that he hadn’t yet stopped the disc, I leaned back into him feeling his warm mouth on my neck as I watched him bare his ass to me on the screen. I gasped aloud at the dual sensation of lips sucking my earlobe, and the sight of his tight rose offered up to me so willingly on the silent screen.

I swallowed hard at the images of my rimming him, remembering his silent, delirious surrender as I teased his entrance, watching him writhing in ecstasy under my touch. My heart pounded at the evocative images, seeing the power and the passion of the two of us together.

“Edward, you are so beautiful...“ My breathing quickened, my chest almost pained with mounting lust.

By the time my onscreen Edward had mounted me, fucking me forcefully across the bar stool, I was inarticulate. He was the image of control and power, owning my body, playing it like his piano. My hand had slipped to my groin, massaging my erection through my pants; audible sighs escaping my lips as I gazed at the screen, unable to tear my eyes away from his magnificence. I could feel the pleasure radiating out from the images and I remembered how good it had felt when he laid over me and fisted my cock, his own slamming into me.

My head fell back, my eyes closed; his insistent lips found mine with some force, his hand covering mine as I unashamedly palmed myself, the images too much for me not to react. His hand stilled mine and the kiss broke; he gazed into my pleading eyes, my heaving breaths loud and desperate in the silence.

“Watching that, I want to be inside you as soon as fucking possible. Like right now.”

I moaned long and low. He slid off the couch onto the rug, roughly pulling at his belt and buttons, yanking the denim from his legs, his cock tenting the front of his briefs. I fumbled with my own, managing to pull them open and kick them off, hurling them across the floor. I almost threw him the lube and condoms in my haste, feeling him pull down my briefs and spread my cheeks, his warm breath ghosting across my entrance. Feeling his wet tongue investigating, I groaned uncontrollably, pushing up into his mouth, needing everything he could give me.

The lapping, the teasing, the flickering... I was dying of pleasure. His torturous tongue finally breached me, and I had to brace myself to stop my legs shaking, my need for him growing exponentially by the second. My briefs were stretched tight between my thighs, holding my legs in position, my cock bouncing against my stomach, aching for release.

Hearing the click of the lube bottle, I almost cried out in anticipation. He didn’t keep me waiting; there was a cold drizzle on my ass right before his cock pushed in with no further niceties. I was dazed with hunger for him, and he didn’t disappoint. Pulling back, he started to thrust, my breathless groans spurring him on to pound me relentlessly.  Knowing how badly I needed to come, he reached around once again and fisted my leaking cock. My body was lost to pleasure; I screamed out his name as I came in heavy streams, my body clenching down on him as my orgasm crashed over me. I heard his gasps as he rode out my spasms, before following me into nirvana with a helpless roar.

We collapsed into a heap on the rug, still joined, our sweating bodies bearing testament to our fervour.

 Looking up, I saw the two of us laughing on the screen, sneaking out the door.

_Sorry, Emmett..._

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all my wonderful readers for your patience and your amazing reviews. I appreciate each and every one. I am so thrilled to announce that ‘Learning to Fly’ recently won ‘Best All Around Story’ in the Rising Star Awards. My undying love and gratitude goes to everyone who voted. I am so proud of my boys for winning their own award! New chapter coming in 2-3 weeks. 
> 
> Thank you as always to my beta mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	20. Chapter 20

**EPOV**

I lay in bed, Carlisle sleeping peacefully beside me.

The cottage was amazing.

Picturesque views across the Sound... the log fire which we lit when the evening grew chilly... luxurious rooms... the secluded, private balcony overlooked only by the birds... the hot tub...

Yep, the cottage was amazing.

But the man lying next to me was beyond words.

~xxXxx~

I had been unsure and embarrassed at the thought of watching myself on the screen.  Carlisle’s sneaky distraction tactics had worked, just as he’d known they would, and I was willing to agree to almost anything by that point if it meant making him happy.

What I hadn’t expected was to be so turned on by the sight of us together, slaves to lust, our bodies moving fluidly with no end and no beginning.

I smiled as I gazed at him now, his face turned toward me in slumber, his head almost on my pillow. My fingers twitched, aching to wake him just so I could see those eyes smiling up at me once again.

After our assignation on the rug, we had lain talking; our hands never stilled in their idle caresses, the conversation punctuated by leisurely kisses that grew more urgent as the evening wore on. Carlisle’s devilish whisper and warm breath in my ear caused a strong reaction in my groin.

“Let’s go test drive the hot tub...” His eyes were full of fire in the light of the setting sun that poured through the ocean view window.

I groaned my approval, and together we made our way to the beautiful bathroom and the spacious tub that awaited us.

The hot, bubbling water felt wonderful, and it was the most natural thing in the world for us to sink into each other’s arms, the water holding us in its comforting embrace. Lips toyed, teased, and tortured, before melding into a deep kiss that had me pinned against the side of the tub and gasping for air. Despite this, I was only prepared to disengage my lips for the briefest second before reclaiming his mouth once again with a loud shameless moan. His body pressed tightly to mine, instigating a delicious game of frottage beneath the bubbles. I slid a hand between our slippery bodies and grasped us both, pumping experimentally. The feel of our hard flesh sliding together made me shudder, and Carlisle’s groan filled my mouth in sweet response.

Our bodies rocked in tandem, both cocks hardening still further in my firm grip. With effort, I forced my hand to let go, unwilling to come right there in the tub. Carlisle’s head fell into my neck, his breathing uneven as he fought for control. Sweat ran down his neck, his hair plastered to his head from the steam; I nipped at his pulse point to get his attention. When his head lifted, the desire in his hooded eyes made me weak and I knew exactly what was needed.

“Jump up and sit on the side, love.”

 I quirked my eyebrow as I spoke and he wasted no time in complying. Bracing a foot on the step, he climbed out and sat on the edge, looking at me for further instruction. Reaching for him, I indicated he should scoot forward and get comfortable; his foot found the step again for balance, and I moved between his spread thighs, my splayed fingers resting reverently on the smooth, wet muscles.

I leaned in and took the swollen head in between my lips, applying just the slightest amount of suction. I heard his moaning sigh as his over stimulated cock finally got the attention it craved. Letting it pop from my lips, I looked up at him under my hair as I licked him from base to tip in one swift motion before circling around the sensitive underside, creating a circle of fire around the darkened tip. His thigh muscles tensed each time the tip of my tongue fluttered against the delicate flesh, his cock waving unrestrained before me.

I sank down on him with no warning and he fell back, his hands supporting his weight as I took him deep, swallowing hard to accept his length. His hips managed a limited movement, bucking up into my mouth, sliding into my throat. I maintained my position and let me him fuck my mouth as deeply as he could, gagging when he lost his rhythm and took me by surprise. I tugged gently on his balls and felt the vibration of his groan go through me; his back arched, his hips stilled, and then, with an almost despairing cry, he emptied himself into my mouth, streams of come pumping down my well used throat.

My smile grew wider at the memory of that afternoon.

By the time we were through, I had fucked Carlisle on the floor of the steam room, conducting his screams of pleasure like a maestro as he came, for the third time that day, under my direction. Afterward, I had massaged the kinks out of his aching shoulders while he drowsed on a heap of warm, fluffy towels.

Leaving the idyllic cottage was a wrench, but coming home to our own house made it all real.

This was us now; no one could ruin it.

~xxXxx~

 

**Esme’s POV**

I thought about Carlisle and Edward often over the next couple of days. Their predicament with Elizabeth ran though my mind on and off, and I hoped I hadn’t caused her any offence at the party by showing her what I had.

The day after the party was Edward’s actual birthday, and Lauren was more morose than usual. I wondered if she had expected them to be together again by now; maybe they had made plans for this day before recent events had changed everything. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get anything useful out of her and I was on the brink of giving up trying. As it was, she barely spoke during dinner, dragging herself off to bed soon afterward.

And so it began. I knew the pattern well by now.

First the crying, sobs that tore at my heart, night after night.

Then the silence as she finally slept the sleep of the exhausted.

Then came the nightmares.

Every night the same, testing my endurance to its very limits.

Only this time there was a change – one I could never have foreseen.

The night started out the same way. I could hear her crying, the wrenching sobs muffled by her pillow as her heart broke all over again. After an hour or so, the sounds faded until finally she slept, a thin, broken sleep that never seemed to restore her energy levels to any degree. Dragging myself upstairs, I readied myself for bed, mentally preparing for the wakeup call that would come in a few hours’ time.  

I woke to the familiar sound of Lauren’s cries. Her mumbled words were usually indistinct and muddled, but always with the same underlying emotional trauma. She would inevitably then wake herself up.

This morning however, the words were clearer; panicked pleas of ‘It’s your fault’, and ‘not meant to happen’ were repeated over and over.  Dragging on my robe, I felt my pulse race as her cries grew louder and more distinct, fear spiking my system as I stumbled down the hallway to her room to comfort her.

When the words abruptly stopped, the silence was infinitely worse.

I threw open the door, not at all prepared for what I saw. My mind reeled when I saw my daughter sitting up in bed, staring forward, completely devoid of expression, all her familiar fight and energy absent. I knelt on the bed before her, but there was no acknowledgement of my presence, not so much as a flicker in her eyes. Her face was white as paper, a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead from her nightmare. Her hands were cold and I grasped them to warm them up, turning my head to check the clock.  Seeing it was a little before 8.00am, I left her for a moment and ran downstairs for the phone to call Carlisle. When he answered, I could hear the happiness and laughter in his voice and knew I was about to rob him of that joy with just three words.

“Carlisle, come quickly...”

~xxXxx~

He and Edward arrived shortly after, and I took them to her immediately. Carlisle’s face was tense.

“Esme, what happened?”

He took her pulse while he spoke, before checking her eyes for a reaction. I barely heard him, as I watched Lauren intently for signs of awakening.

“Esme! Talk to me!”

“She... ” I breathed in, my chest tight with fear, “she had another nightmare. But this was different from the others. She... she – “

“What? Esme, _please_...”

“She said things, Carlisle. I think our little girl is having some serious problems; I’ve tried to make her talk to me but she just won’t open up...”

I could feel my breathing quicken and I fought to calm myself as I went on to explain what I had heard.

“She kept repeating things, saying it wasn’t meant to happen. Something’s very wrong, Carlisle. I’ve tried to get her to talk to me, I’ve tried, but she pulled away from me. Especially since Edward’s accident...”

My gaze fell on Edward, standing awkwardly just inside the door, and I saw him flinch. I reached out to him reassuringly.

“No, Edward, no. It’s not your fault. She’s just been very lost since you and Carlisle found each other. Believe me, I had no idea it was building up to this. Whatever ‘this’ is.”

Carlisle was looking closely at Lauren for any sign of lucidity, but there was no flicker of recognition in her unseeing eyes. My throat was dry, my voice scratchy.

“What is it, Carlisle? Why is she like this?”

I saw his jaw tighten and knew he was trying to be strong, hiding his concern behind his professional demeanour, but he couldn’t fool me.

“It looks like she’s in a catatonic stupor. Something has triggered it, her nightmare most probably. When she comes round we need to have a talk. Right now, we need to get her to the hospital.”

He reached around and picked her up, placing her arm around his neck, as he carried her downstairs to his car. I followed numbly with Edward close behind. I climbed into the back of the Mercedes, and Carlisle gently placed her on the seat next to me. In silence, we drove to the ER, my little girl’s head in my lap, my hands smoothing her hair back from her face.

The emergency room was manic, but Carlisle assumed control, arranging for us all to go straight through to an empty side room. Doug was waiting with a shot of Lorazepam which he quickly administered. Then all we could do was wait for it to take effect. I sat by the bed, holding Lauren’s hand as Carlisle and Doug had a quiet conversation. Edward stood near the window, uncomfortable and ill at ease with no role or function to fulfil in this situation. My head shot up when I heard Doug say the words ‘psychiatric evaluation.’ Panic bubbled up in my chest, my heart racing with fear for my little girl. I squeezed her fingers, silently praying for a response.

I had failed her.

I had known she was in some kind of trouble; telling her father she was pregnant had been a desperate act which had backfired, and yet I couldn’t wrap my head around her reasons for saying something like that, especially as she retracted the statement immediately when challenged. All I could get out of her was ‘My life is over’.

Losing Edward had messed with her head - that much was undeniable. I had hoped she would come to accept it, to move on and eventually accept the relationship that Edward had with her father. I realised now that this was too much to ask of her in her current emotional state. She was still a child in so many ways, trying to come to terms with life as an adult. In the last few days she had withdrawn even further, becoming surly and sullen, her face taking on almost a grey pallor. She needed medical assistance, that much was clear, but it couldn’t happen until she agreed. She wouldn’t even agree to see her father, and now the decision had been taken out of her hands, but not in the way any of us would have hoped for.

_Darling girl – what aren’t you telling me?_

It was several minutes before I felt her fingers return the squeeze; her eyelids fluttered, the light returning to her eyes as if the power had been restored.

“Mom? Where am I?” 

I held in my tears of relief, knowing that I needed to be strong, that we were not out of the woods yet.

“You’re in hospital, sweetheart. You were having a nightmare and you lost consciousness for a little while. Dr Anders gave you a shot to wake you up – Daddy’s just talking with him now.”

She looked around to find him and saw Edward standing across the room, his face betraying his anxiety. I was disturbed by her reaction to him, expecting her to be happy he was there. Instead she seemed uneasy, as if his presence was unwelcome.

“Sweetheart, what is it? Daddy won’t be mad, he’s so worried – we both are. I just wish you’d tell us what the matter is. It will take time to come to terms with his relationship with Edward. It was a huge shock to us both, and they appreciate that.”

I looked to Edward then, silently begging him to understand. I was alarmed when she paled still further and I called to Carlisle, fearful that she was about to lapse back into her former state. Her eyes were vacant; the hopelessness residing therein hurt my heart like a blade.

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

I could almost see the fear hovering like a dark mist around Esme as Lauren sank back into the pillows. Carlisle turned and beckoned to Esme, and after reassuring Lauren she would be straight back, she walked over to where he stood with Dr Anders, the pair looking grave.

Dr Anders spoke.

“Mrs Fitch, your daughter has suffered a catatonic episode. The shot has had the desired effect and she now appears lucid. However, it is my firm belief that after this new development and the recent accusations she made in this hospital regarding her father, that Lauren be seen by a professional. I want her assessed before she is allowed to leave here. We need to identify the root cause of her breakdown before we can identify the best treatment for her. Has she exhibited any schizophrenic symptoms?”

He looked from Esme to Carlisle, and I saw her look back at them both helplessly, close to tears. Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders for support and she leaned on him gratefully.

I felt as if I were intruding. They were a family and I shouldn’t be there; they needed to take care of this, help Lauren as only parents could. I felt that my presence was only making Lauren more uncomfortable and might hinder her recovery, so I decided to leave them alone and head off to the cafeteria for a coffee. Stepping forward, I hovered until the doctor walked away.

Seeing me for the first time, he stopped.

“Mr Masen! How’s the head?” He squinted for a second as he looked me over. “The wound has healed well and the bruising has all but gone. Have you had any more pain?”

I shook my head.

“Good, good.” With a nod, he continued on out of the room.

I touched Esme’s arm and she turned in surprise. I felt a little awkward, finding the words stuck in my throat. I tried not to meet Carlisle’s worried eyes.

“I think you guys need some time. I’ll go get a coffee and come back in a bit.”

She frowned; the worried crease across her forehead looked as if it was starting to belong. Her whole demeanour was one of utter weariness. The last few weeks had been hard on Esme, and I felt guilty for my part in her pain. Her warm hand rested on my arm, her wan face still finding a smile for me. I felt undeserving of it.

“No, Edward, please stay; I think we all need to hear what she has to say for herself. It’s time Lauren told us what is going on, and I’m sure it will concern you to some degree. We’re all adults and we’ll deal with whatever it is. So stay? Please?”

I looked to Carlisle finally, uncertainty making me nervous, acutely aware of Lauren’s presence and the animosity she harboured toward me. Leaning into me, his hand rested on my shoulder, his voice low.

“If you want to get a coffee or some air, I have no problem with that. But Esme is right,” he smiled at her then, “you are family, and part of all this. We tackle it together and play it by ear. Unless Lauren insists that you leave, know that we want you here. _I_ want you here, my love.”

Pulling back, he held my gaze steadily, waiting. I nodded then, knowing they were stressed enough without my adding to it. If I could support them then I would.

Esme turned and walked back to Lauren. Taking her hand, she appealed to her one last time.

“What happened, sweetheart? Tell us, please. Enough now; everyone is so worried about you. We love you so much. Talk to us.”

Lauren’s eyes flicked from her mom to her dad, then to me as I hung back across the small room, standing close enough to Carlisle for support without being in physical contact. I had no intention of antagonising her by appearing to be in direct competition for her father’s attention.

Esme’s voice was soothing as she continued to reason with her.

“Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it. These nightmares – they’ve been getting more frequent. You’ve been screaming in the night and I’ve heard you crying yourself to sleep. I’m your mom – you can tell me anything.” Her voice wobbled on the last syllable, her stoicism cracking as she struggled to remain calm.

Lauren looked trapped, and I knew that she would clam up if pushed too hard. I quickly made a decision. Approaching her bedside, I ignored her gasp of surprise, covered quickly by a scowl. I flicked my eyes to Esme’s for permission before continuing.

“Lauren? Tell _me_. If this is my fault, tell _me._ Shout at _me_. Don’t blame your dad. Let’s end this once and for all. What I did was wrong, I know that, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I should have said that sooner, but so much has happened over the past weeks. I can’t pretend to understand how bad I’ve made you feel. I take full responsibility for everything.”

I held her hostile gaze, trying to force her to come clean. I could take it, whatever she wanted to throw at me. I just wanted this over for all our sakes; the stress was eating into her parents like battery acid. Carlisle and I could never be totally happy until this was resolved. I had started it – it was down to me to try and fix it.

When she didn’t speak, I carried on.

“Only a few days ago you tried to tell me that you were having my baby. I lost my memory in that accident, and for some reason you saw it as an opportunity to take advantage, to manipulate me into believing we had been together and that I was going to be a father. Did you secretly _want_ a baby, Lauren?”

Her shocked face gave me my answer.

 “This was never what I wanted! I never wanted a _baby_ , I just wanted _you!_ This is all yourfault!  If you hadn’t remembered...” 

She stopped suddenly, her eyes darting around the room, looking at anything but me.

“If I hadn’t remembered you would have what? Pretended to be pregnant for a while until you conveniently ‘lost’ it?” My voice was cruel as reality hit hard. “And of course, made sure my relationship with your father was dead in the water at the same time.”

“No! No, it wasn’t like that!”

“Lauren, if you love your dad, then why put him through this pain? Both he and your mom adore you; it’s me you hate, me you want to hurt. So do it – say whatever it is you want to say and just let it out. Stop punishing your parents.”

She was frowning, her brow crumpled like her mother’s, her eyes clenched shut. I noticed her hands had curled into fists on the bed covers as if she were about to have a tantrum. When her eyes opened, I read in them her desperate need for me to understand.

“You don’t get it, do you? I _love_ you! You know that! When you told me about you and dad, I knew it was only because I had refused you, that I wouldn’t give you what you wanted.”

I was aghast. After everything that had happened, everything she had put us through, she still didn’t believe I was in love with him.

“No, Lauren, no, it wasn’t like that at all. We talked about this, remember? I told you that we can’t control who we fall in love with.”

She was shaking her head, confusion distorting her pretty features.

“Lauren, you do remember that, don’t you? When we talked in my car?”

I looked worriedly at Carlisle then, noting the tension in his features, the bleakness in his eyes at the memory of that day.

“Of course I remember! I told you it was a phase and that if I gave you what you wanted then you wouldn’t need dad anymore.”

Her voice became soft, almost dreamy.

“Everything was okay when you were there. I could cope, I could handle it. It didn’t matter what the girls were saying about me, or that my grades had slumped, because you were there to support me. They couldn’t hurt me while I had you... I was safe. You kept me safe.”

She was staring at the covers, watching her own hands clench and relax as she spoke.

“I could hold it all together when I had you. Then you met dad, and now he loves you more than me. Everything I had is gone, all gone. I’m going to fail my exams and have to repeat; I don’t know what to do...nothing makes sense anymore.”

Her face clouded suddenly, tears pooling, as she looked up at me, her voice distraught.

“My period’s really late and I’ve been feeling really sick. I’m scared, Edward.”

I spoke gently, mindful of her fragile state.

“You can’t be pregnant, Lauren. You’re a virgin.” I was alarmed when her head shook jerkily from side to side as if trying to dislodge a bad thought. She banged her fist down on the bed, growing ever more agitated.

 “But when we were at Angela’s party...”  She looked confused, her mind struggling to piece everything together in the right order.

_Now we’re getting somewhere._

“That wasn’t me, Lauren, I wasn’t there with you. Tell me about Angela’s party - who were you there with?”

She started to mumble incoherently to herself, and I was disturbed by this sudden change.

“It’s your fault, you made me do it.”

“Made you do _what_?”

Her brow creased in confused agitation as if this was news to her. She was shaking her head wildly.

“But it _was_ you! It had to have been you! I wouldn’t have with anyone else.”

Against my better judgement, I looked at Carlisle then; his eyes were fathomless. Esme was gripping his hand, her face etched with worry, her eyes pinched. Neither spoke as Lauren finally spilled the thoughts that had haunted her for weeks.

She started to sob, loud choking breaths that had Esme holding her tightly whilst she sobbed as though her heart would break. It was then I saw Lauren’s eyes widen, as if the veil had been lifted. Her breathing escalated, a full on panic attack threatening to take hold of her; she struggled to breathe until she was finally able to give voice to the words her subconscious had locked away.

“I wanted to believe it was you - I thought I could win you back! I remember hearing you saying it was all going to be okay... but I couldn’t have, because you weren’t there. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you.”

I watched Esme rock her like only a mother could, smoothing her damp hair away from her face. Lauren’s whole body shook, racked with sobs as she finally admitted the truth to herself.

“I remember now; he was just some random boy at the party. I just wanted to get back at Edward for dumping me! What am I going to do, Mom? I’m going to have a baby...”

~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am over the moon to announce that, since my last chapter was posted, LtF has won a Sunflower Award for Best Carlisle, and also the Energize Award for Most Promising Slash fiction WIP. Thank you to every one of you who made this possible for me.
> 
> Thanks to my beta mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	21. Chapter 21

**EPOV**

_I knew it._

Lauren’s confession sealed my fate by confirming to me, once and for all, that I was the catalyst for this whole mess. Her breakdown, the fear and worry I could see in her parents’ faces... all were exacerbated by her having met me.

In that moment, Lauren weeping in her mother’s arms and Carlisle kneading Esme’s shoulders, I wished that Emmett were here. I suddenly felt alone, having no one to support me through this time of trial, for that is exactly how it felt in that moment – that I was the one on  trial.

Lauren had slept with this boyas an act of desperation to win me back. I had had no idea she relied on me this badly, that she had needed me by her side just to function in her everyday life. How could I have known? She had never let on that she was having difficulties at school or with friends; in fact, until the night in McCarty’s bar, I had had no idea she was being bullied. The only time I had ever seen her cry was the day I ended it with her, and surely tears at a breakup were normal, to be expected where feelings were involved.

Was I wrong? Had I missed something crucial in her behaviour? Was there some clue that should have tipped me off that she was wavering, poised on the edge of the cliff without a parachute? The question that formed in my mind then was the one that disturbed me most - if I _had_ known, would I have felt obliged to stand by her, help and support her, forsaking my own wants and needs? Perhaps we would have been happy; I wouldn’t have known the love of Carlisle and perhaps, just perhaps, I could have ignored the immense pull I had felt to him if he had been introduced as Lauren’s father.

My fingers scraped through my hair distractedly.

Could I have lived a lie for the sake of someone who depended on me emotionally? Or would I, in the end, have still broken her heart rather than stay in a relationship that didn’t fit, that in fact starved my soul instead of feeding it?  

Could I have denied my true self?

Clearing my throat, I mumbled something under my breath about getting some air, turning for the door without raising my eyes. As my hand touched the handle, I heard Carlisle’s soft voice.

“Edward?”

I paused before wrenching open the door and taking my leave.

~xxXxx~

Once outside, I paced for a few moments, unsure of what to do next.

Hailing a cab, I gave the address to the driver and slumped back in the seat, the buildings passing blurrily as I gazed at nothing. When he pulled up at the house, I handed him the money in silence, wanting nothing more than to find some peace and isolation, somewhere to try and gather my thoughts and try to see where the path was leading me.

I walked through to the kitchen, fetching myself a glass of water while I tried to hold it all together. I felt the guilt of Lauren’s situation keenly; the baby wasn’t mine, but its reason for existing could be attributed to me. I kneaded my aching forehead, the pressure building behind my eyes.

I needed to lie down for a moment. Then I could take stock and work out what to do next.

Stretching out on the couch, I closed my eyes, letting the scent of Carlisle’s cologne drift from the cushions to my nose. Only this time, instead of relaxing me, I felt guilt gnaw at my gut, a roiling wave of nausea hitting me at the thought of what I had caused. My mind raced, refusing my attempts to slow it down. I tried to breathe deeply, to concentrate on each inhalation to calm myself; the end result instead was hyperventilation and the warning signs of a panic attack.

_Emmett. I need to talk to Emmett._

That was a good idea; Emmett was the voice of reason. He would know what I should do. Trying to formulate a coherent plan of action, I made my way upstairs and mechanically packed a bag.

Dropping the bag by the door, I went in search of pen and paper.

This was best; best for everyone.

He was worth the sacrifice to me. After all, if you cut out a cancer, the wound can heal.

It didn’t matter that my own world would splinter irreparably.

Sitting down, I scratched out a note to the love of my life to say it was over.

~xxXxx~

**CPOV**

 I watched Esme hold a wide eyed Lauren as she sobbed it all out - the lies, the delusions, and the self-deceit. I could do nothing to help her as the sheer agony of her own emotional conflict rose to the surface, erupting in a fit of screaming hysteria before she sagged in her mother’s arms, all fight finally draining away and leaving behind little more than a husk of the girl she had been.

_No wonder Edward had to get out._

I was so grateful to him. It was his perseverance that had finally got us here, to this place of honesty and truth. Her words must have hurt him, and I wasn’t surprised that he needed some air; the whole episode had been mentally draining for all concerned.

As Lauren quieted in her mother’s arms, I spoke softly.

“I’m going to go arrange the sonogram, sweetheart, so we can arrange your checkups and health regimen. I’ll be back in a moment.”

I heard Esme shush her unnecessarily, muttering soothing words I couldn’t quite make out. I left the claustrophobic room and stepped out into the familiar, organised chaos of the E.R. Locating Doug, I succinctly explained my need for a sonogram machine, and he rang though to maternity. While I waited, I stepped out the double doors to get some air, hoping to find Edward in the parking lot. Gazing around, however, I realised that he was nowhere to be seen.

I checked my phone, sure there would be a message; nothing.

I knew Edward was a grown man and could take care of himself, but a part of me worried. If he had felt the need to leave the hospital grounds, the only option was by cab as I had my car keys in my pocket; his absence suggested he was having more than a little trouble dealing with today’s revelations. Despite wanting desperately to go after him, I had no definite idea of where he was headed, and there was no way I could leave my daughter and Esme here alone to deal with all of this upset.

I called his phone but it went straight to voicemail.

“Edward, it’s me. Call me when you get this? Just let me know if you’re at home or wherever. I love you.”

Turning back, I sent him a silent plea.

_Forgive me, love, but I have to stay. I’ll be home as soon as I can. It’s going to be okay._

And with that, I headed wearily through the pitted, battle-scarred doors.

I opened the door to Lauren’s room to see that my girls hadn’t moved since I left. Esme looked up as I entered, and I tried in vain to smile, my face too tight.

She spoke quietly.

“Did you find him?”

So astute.

I shook my head.

“Doug is arranging a sonogram machine to be brought down.” I kept my voice low, trying to mask my anxiety. “Has she said anything more?” I nodded to Lauren who was clinging to Esme.

“The boy’s name is Alec. By all accounts, she wasn’t forced into anything; in fact from what she says, it was all her idea. But then she blocked out the fact that it wasn’t Edward she was with.”

I walked around behind her and kissed my daughter’s dishevelled hair through the protective cage of her mother’s embrace. Esme continued to rock her as she had night after night, all those years ago when she was a squalling, colicky newborn.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Her voice was cracked and forlorn.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. We’re going to make you better; Daddy is going to make sure of it.”

She fell silent once again, her sniffles the only indicator that she was even awake.

The door opened and a gynae nurse appeared pushing a rattling trolley bearing the sonogram equipment. I vaguely recognised her from around the hospital, her red, curly hair hard to forget. Her name badge gave her name as ‘Kym’. She was kind, but brooked no nonsense. I guessed she had seen more than her fair share of pregnant teenage girls. I was having trouble coming to terms with the fact that my daughter was one of them.

Esme persuaded Lauren to lie back, and Kym squirted some gel onto the slight swell of her stomach.

“So let’s see how far along you are, my lovely...”

Lauren’s shoulders started to shake again as tears spilled down onto the pillow.

~xxXxx~

It was late afternoon by the time Esme and I left the hospital. Lauren had been admitted to the psych ward pending an evaluation, and they had told us to go home as there was nothing more we could do there. They would notify us as soon as they had news.

I took Esme home, reassuring her again that Lauren was in the best possible hands, and then I headed home to Edward to tell him the news.

Pulling into the driveway, I jumped out of the car and made my way inside. The door was locked which concerned me as Edward only locked it if he planned on sleeping. Shucking off my jacket, I glanced in the living room before climbing the stairs to our bedroom.

“Edward? Are you okay? I tried calling...”

As soon as I walked into the room I could see he wasn’t there. More alarming still was the open closet door and drawer. Some of his clothes were gone. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I cursed when I dropped it in my haste to call him. Trying again, my hands shaking, I dialled his number and listened again as it went straight to voicemail.

“Edward, please call me. I need to see you. Where are you?”

I ended the call, knowing how desperate my voice had sounded. I paced the room for a moment before making a decision. Catching a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, I saw how washed out I was - my face looked like it had aged ten years in a few hours. I cupped my hands under the warm water and splashed my face, repeating the action twice more before patting myself dry. Walking back into the bedroom, I saw the rumpled bed we had left so quickly that morning, the day dawning with so much promise and hope. Straightening my tousled hair, I headed down to grab a drink before I headed out to McCarty’s where I hoped I would find him.

My eye caught a letter lying on the hallway carpet that I had missed in my haste to see Edward. Intending to put it aside for later, I noticed the tidy, unfamiliar handwriting; despite my haste, I slit the envelope and pulled out two sheets of cream writing paper covered in neat script, addressed to me.

When I unfolded the heavy paper and saw the name signed at the bottom, I walked through into the sitting room and sat down.

It was from Edward’s mother.

_‘Dear Carlisle,_

_It is after much deliberation that I am writing this letter._

_As you doubtless know, I love my only son with all that I am. When he told me of his new relationship, I confess to being shocked and, to my shame, saddened. I want my son to have a marriage and children of his own, and I am selfish enough to want grandchildren – I admit that._

_You do not fit the image I envisaged for my darling boy when he was growing up. Not least because you are a man, but also that you are so many years his senior. However, we have already discussed this in person and at great length, and I have no wish to go over old ground here._

_My son is stubborn, in case you hadn’t noticed; my discomfort will worry him even though he won’t allow it to influence him in any way. If I told him to end things with you for my sake, he would refuse, but be racked with guilt at the same time for not doing what I asked._

_I want my son to be happy – it is my number one priority. From what I have witnessed, even though it is still so early in your partnership, he is happier than I have ever seen him; I would go so far as to say he is content. So, after much soul searching, I have come to the decision that his needs must outweigh my own doubts. I have to trust that his choices are the right ones for him, but rest assured I will be there to support him if this relationship fails._

_For the plain and simple reason that I cannot bear the idea of causing him stress at such a happy time in his life, I am giving you both my blessing._

_All I ask is that you make my son happy, and that you love and support him through good times and bad; we both know that he will do the same for you as he has already demonstrated._

_Welcome to the family, Carlisle. I wish the two of you many years of happiness together._

_My love to you both,_

_Elizabeth Masen.’_

I read the letter twice, relief washing over me at her carefully chosen words. I knew that I would never be exactly what she wanted, but she was willing to bend for Edward’s sake, and so was I. Edward was the most important part of our mutual worlds and we both wanted to make him happy, no matter what.

Folding up the letter, I stowed it safely in the envelope, intent on showing it to Edward as soon as possible. Standing up, my eye caught something white resting against our photo on the piano top. When I saw my name, panic set in.

Snatching up the note, I read it through, my eyes skimming the words over and over. I shook my head at the obvious pain behind the hastily scribbled message.

_Oh Edward, don’t do this to us. Not now._

Scooping up my car keys, I strode to the door.

I had to find him.

~xxXxx~

**EPOV**

My heart was heavy as I drove slowly to Emmett’s, the only place I could think of to go. I didn’t know what I was going to say when I got there, but I knew he’d take me in regardless.

The drive was short and uneventful, focused as I was solely on the road ahead and not my aching heart. Driving around the side of Emmett’s place, I saw his car was missing; parking the Volvo, I walked around to the door and let myself in, calling to make sure I didn’t startle him accidentally. 

There was no response.

Making my way to the lounge room, I sank into a leather chair, my head in my hands.

I was so ashamed of my part in this whole debacle. The base line was that a girl was pregnant because of a drunken mistake she made out of utter desperation to win me back. There was no way I could ever make this right now; how could Carlisle ever look at me again with love in his eyes after this? He and Esme would look at the child and always see a constant reminder of a bad time in their lives. They needed to be left alone to close ranks for support; if I stayed I would always be the person who instigated this chain of events – the man who dumped an unstable girl when she needed his help.

I could feel the guilt pressing down on me, crushing me. I couldn’t allow myself to think of the future now that I no longer had one worth a dime. My life would be no more than work and sleep, a repetitive, mind numbing cycle to prevent me from thinking too hard.

Thoughts of sleep only served to remind me that I would be sleeping alone again, and my fragile plan crumbled as I succumbed to the tears that been threatening to spill since leaving the hospital. Uncontrollable heaving, gasping sobs tore from my chest and echoed around the empty, lonely room; the setting a perfect metaphor for my life without Carlisle. Having finally tasted true happiness, felt the reassurance of its warm, secure embrace, the pain of its loss was all the more excruciating.

I sobbed until I had no more tears to give; pulling my knees up, I settled into the softness of the leather chair intending to let my weary mind wander down empty pathways and dead end alleys. Instead, emotional exhaustion won out and I fell asleep.

~xxXxx~

I woke suddenly to the sound of Emmett.

“Edward? What the hell...?”

I lifted my head and inadvertently showed him my blotchy, swollen face.

“Dude – you look like shit. Talk to me.” He sat down on a footstool, his hands on his knees.

I wiped my face with the heels of my hands, feeling the dried tear tracks on my cheeks, the puffiness of my eyes. Beautiful.

In a monotone, I explained the whole sorry mess, hearing his sharp intake of breath when I told him I had left Carlisle.

“You’ve _left_ him? Without even talking it through? Edward, come on – you have to give him a chance. You don’t know what he wants or what he’s feeling right now. Yeah, I admit there’s a chance he may want you out of the picture, after all his future has just veered wildly off-course, but you know that in his mind you feature in it, no matter what.”

I shook my head vehemently.

“He’s too good for me, Emm. I don’t deserve him and this just proves it. If I’d never met his daughter...”

He cut me off.

“It’s too late for ‘ifs’, Edward. A few short weeks ago, you sat here with me as your memory returned and you remembered your time with him. I knew from that day forward that nothing would stop you two being together – he was all you wanted then and nothing has changed. Running away isn’t the answer.”

“I’m not running away. I have a job here and a car to finish paying for. I just need somewhere to crash until I can find a new apartment. It needs to be a clean break so we can both move on; I’ll make the trip to get my stuff as soon as I can, then it’ll be over and done. I don’t want to prolong this if at all possible.”

He shook his head, jumping to his feet.

“You know, for a smart guy you can be so dumb.”

I frowned at his words. He raised an eyebrow.

“Do what you want, but I’m calling the doc.” I opened my mouth to protest, but he waved a finger to shut me up. “Why do you care? He’s happy you’re gone, right? Hell, he’s probably ecstatic to have his house back to himself. Let’s ask him, shall we?”

He picked up the phone and dialled. He might as well have held a knife to my gut, his words echoing my own fears. I couldn’t sit and listen to Carlisle say it, couldn’t listen to my fears come to fruition.

I was a coward and I wanted to run like one.

Emmett hung up the phone with a sigh after the tenth ring.

“No answer. He must still be at the hospital. Look, Edward, why don’t you go home and wait for him? Face him and tell him how you feel. Don’t throw it all away unless you’re 100% sure it can’t be saved. I get where you’re coming from, and I can see how bad you feel, but you’re forgetting one thing:  Carlisle _loves_ you, and that’s not something you can just turn off on a whim. I’ve seen you two together; you’re soulmates in every sense of the word. I’m hopeful that one day even your mom will see that. Don’t cause the doc more pain - he already has enough to deal with. Are you listening to me?”

I wiped fresh tears away, my head aching under the strain. My voice was little more than a whisper.

“Okay, I’ll go. But if I’m right and he tells me to go, can I come back here?”

He looked at me long and hard.

“Dude, go home and work it out. Or you can be the one explaining to Rosie why you’re sleeping in her soon-to-be walk-in closet.”

The sound of the doorbell made us both jump.

~xxXxx~

 

**CPOV**

Parking outside Emmett’s home, I killed the engine, looking for Edward’s car but not seeing it anywhere in the vicinity. He hadn’t been at the bar, and none of the staff had seen him.

Taking a moment, I prepared myself for the likelihood that he wasn’t here either. Wherever he was hiding, I was willing to guess that he was punishing himself for all of this when there was no way on earth he could have known what Lauren would do. I sighed. If her own _parents_ didn’t see, how could he?

I loved my daughter so very much and having to have her admitted to psychiatric care was a new blow. Had we failed as parents, Esme and I? How did we not see her pain, her struggle? 

I breathed deeply, remembering the last time I had chased Edward across town to sort out a Lauren-induced crisis. I also remembered how well that night had ended and allowed the thought to buoy my confidence a little.

One thing I knew for sure – I could not, wo _uld not_ , lose Edward through all of this.

His love made me a better man. I just hoped he believed me.

Right now, I just hoped I could find him.

Clutching Elizabeth’s letter, I climbed out of the Mercedes and walked up to the door.

Emmett opened it, looking surprised.

“I’ve been calling you.”

My heart banged against my ribs painfully.

“Is he here?”

He nodded, lowering his voice.

“Found him here when I got home. He’s in a state; I was trying to get him to go home and talk to you.”

“Too late – I already read his note.”

Emmett looked confused. “Note? What note?”

I smiled humourlessly.

“He ended our relationship with a note. He said that he was leaving so that our family could heal and move on without his ‘destructive influence’. His words.”

“Idiot.” The word was uttered so quietly I barely caught it. He opened the door wider and beckoned me inside. “Go talk to him – please. He won’t listen to me.”

He ushered me through the hallway and pointed to a closed door.

“In there.”

Gathering my strength, I grasped the handle and opened the door. A familiar voice came from the armchair.

“Was it Rosalie?”

“No, Edward.”

I heard him gasp in shock; clearly I was the last person he expected.

“What are you doing here?”

His voice was thick, the sound of tears evident. I fought to keep my voice steady.

“I’ve come to ask you to reconsider your decision. I want you to take me back.”

“No.” His voice was determined.

“Will you at least look at me? Please?”

“I’ve made my decision. You’re all better off without me causing more upset in Lauren’s life. You’re going to have enough to deal with. I’m just glad she’s going to get the help she needs now.”

“Yes, she will. They’re keeping her in for psychiatric analysis. We won’t be able to see her for a few days until they’ve spent some time with her. Then we’ll know what treatment they recommend.”

“I’m so sorry...”

“For what? For breaking up with her? Relationships end all the time. No one could have known what was going on in her head to make her react that way.” I sighed heavily. “Esme and I feel guilty enough for not seeing the signs. She’s told us everything now; her grades have been slipping because of bullying at school which she hid from us and her teachers. She was terrified she’d fail her exams because of it, and the worry caused her more stress. Losing you added to it, I can’t lie about that. It appears that she leaned on you for support far more than any of us realised, and losing that strength had an adverse effect.”

I heard his breathing catch and ached to comfort him.

“But, then there’s me. She felt she’d lost my love too. She thought she had to compete with you for my attentions or else she’d be forgotten. And that is all _my_ fault; I didn’t show her how important she is to me. And once she knew about us... well, she wouldn’t speak to me at all. I’m hoping that we can move past this unpleasantness now, and become a family again.”

“I’m glad. That’s all I wanted for you.”

“You’re a part of that family, Edward.”

He didn’t answer and I pressed on, hoping I was getting through to him.

“Edward... do you love me?”

Now I could hear his almost silent sobs, tiny noises escaping as he struggled to hold in the sound and maintain some semblance of control. I circled around the chair, seeing him at last. Crouching before him, I saw his face was contorted with tears; his eyes were reddened and wretched as if all hope were lost. The vulnerability I saw in their depths broke my heart.

I asked again. “Do you love me?”

He nodded, his voice hitching and catching as he spoke.

“You... know... I do.”

“And I love you. Now, can we please go home and put all of this behind us? Just draw a line in the sand?”

I saw how badly he wanted to, but something was still stopping him.

“What... about... the baby?” His words were raspy, his face pained.

“Oh yes, the baby.” I reached out and rubbed my thumb across his cheek. “The human body is a wonderful machine, perfectly designed in some ways, so badly designed in others. Lauren felt a great deal of self induced guilt over what she did with Alec - the boy at the party - so she blocked it out. But she had nightmares about getting pregnant, her mind rewriting the events into the worst case scenario so that, in the end, her stressed-out body just started to believe her fears and reacted accordingly.”

He stared at me.

“She’s not pregnant, Edward. The sonogram confirmed it. It’s a false pregnancy; she’s going to be fine.”

And then I took him in my arms and held him tightly to me, letting out a sigh of contentment when I felt his own arms tighten around me in return.

“Don’t ever leave me again, Edward, I don’t think I could stand it.”

As he murmured ‘I’m sorry’ over and over, I pulled back a fraction and kissed away his salty tears before finding his lips at last.

When we broke apart, I remembered the letter.

“I got something in the mail today. It’s from your mom.”

“Mom? She said she was sending something. What does she say?”

“Well, you can read it for yourself, but basically.... she’s given us her blessing.”

His eyes widened. “Seriously?”

I smiled. “I don’t know what Esme and Emmett said to her, but I think we owe them big time.”

The smile he gave me made me glad to be alive.

“Take me home?”

I nuzzled his nose with my own.

“Yes, my love.”

 

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approaching the end of LtF; I anticipate 2-3 chapters more, along with a future take for the boys. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews you have left me thus far. I apologise for not responding to all, but please be reassured that I appreciate each one.
> 
> Thanks to my beta, mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	22. Chapter 22

**EPOV**

Leaving my car behind for now, we travelled home in the Mercedes. On the way I read mom’s letter, feeling the awkwardness behind her words, the difficulty she must have felt to put her feelings down on paper. I would phone her later and thank her for her sacrifice; it was the ultimate proof of her love for me. Smiling, I folded it back into the envelope.

“Nice to see mom has put a veiled threat in there for you,” I joked. Looking askance, I saw his lips twitch.

“Trust me, I didn’t miss that. But she has nothing to worry about, Edward. Nothing.” His eyes flicked to me, and I felt myself flush with a mix of love and shame.

At the time I had honestly believed that what I did had been for the best. At no point had I considered that he would still want me, still need me in his life. I had underestimated this wonderful man.

I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Pulling up outside the house, he opened the garage door and parked the car inside. As the door slid closed behind us, he switched off the engine and turned to face me.

“We’ll fetch your car tomorrow. Right now I think we need some time to make this right between us.”

Climbing out, he waited for me to follow before locking the car and leading me inside and upstairs. Behind the closed bedroom door, his hands found my face, his forehead resting against mine.

“Don’t do that to me again, Edward. I couldn’t bear it. Losing you is unthinkable – you’re too important.”

I was alarmed to see his eyes shining with unshed tears of relief and I pulled him close to me, murmuring in his ear.

“I’m so sorry. I panicked. I thought it was for the best, that you wouldn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t face you sending me away so I left before you came home. Cowardly I know, but I knew that if I saw you I wouldn’t be able to go.”

He raised his head and I saw his lashes were dampened and clumped. His expression was incredulous, his words bewildered.

“I wouldn’t _want_ you? How could I ever not want you?”

His lips found mine in a desperate kiss, a single sob escaping his throat as he held me tightly to him. I was choked at the emotion in that kiss and together we wept and kissed, pouring all the love we had into each breathless, dizzying moment. When he finally pulled away, his brow furrowed as he spoke, his eyes holding mine, drawing me into his soul.

“Never leave me again. Promise me?”

It was truly the easiest promise I ever made.

Our clothes hit the floor, our need for each other fuelled by raw passion. The connection we shared in those moments was intense; becoming one with him had never felt so right, so fulfilling. Our eyes never left each other, our bodies striving to get closer, ever closer, pleasure magnified tenfold by the sheer power of intimacy. I lost myself in his eyes; their depths a swirling storm of lust as a force greater than us drove us onward in our relentless pursuit of ecstasy. Over and over I filled him as he urged me on, harder, faster. I watched his beautiful face contort as his body approached its peak of pleasure. Not missing a stroke, I kissed him forcefully, feeling his breathing strain before he tensed and cried out, his body racked with spasms as he emptied in copious jets between our stomachs. The wondrous feel of his body contracting around me was just the trigger I needed to tumble into the abyss after him, collapsing exhausted and sated into each other’s loving arms.

This was my home.

He was my everything.

~xxXxx~

 

We slept, entangled, for over an hour, emotionally and physically spent. I woke shivering, and reached for the covers, pulling them up over us. Carlisle stirred, his eyes fluttering open, a smile creeping across his face when he saw me.

“I hoped you weren’t a dream.”

My lips twitched.

“No, no dream.” I stroked his hair, wallowing in the sheer joy of waking up next to him. How on earth had I thought I could cope without this? I was a fool. “How are you feeling? About everything that happened today, I mean. What happens to Lauren now? Is she home?”

His face dropped, and I hated this whole fucked up situation that had stolen his happiness and left nothing but pain in its wake.

“No, no she’s not. She’s been admitted to psych for a full evaluation. It’s highly likely she will be admitted for a while.”

I propped myself up on my elbow and gazed into his eyes.

“Poor Esme.”

He looked at me in surprise. I tried to explain.

“It must’ve been a terrible shock for her, the things that Lauren hid from her, I mean.” I swallowed hard before speaking again. “She’s a great mom and so to hear those things that Lauren said to me must have hurt.”

He leaned up and kissed me - a lingering, reassuring kiss to soothe the frayed nerves. Pulling back, he looked deep into my eyes.

“You were amazing in there. Don’t you see? Without you there, Lauren may not have opened up. By getting her mad at you, the whole thing blew wide open. Now we can work on getting her well again.”

His palm rested on my cheek and I leaned into the comforting gesture.

“Esme is grateful to you, Edward. Give her time and she’ll tell you that to your face.”

I struggled with that idea, feeling it was far more likely she would never speak to me again. In her shoes I don’t know if I could be so magnanimous. But then, I wasn’t half the person Esme was; she wouldn’t have run from her problems. Trying hard to think of more cheerful topics, I posed another question.

“How do you know for sure that either Esme or Emmett had anything to with mom’s decision? Well, okay, I know Emmett said he tried to reason with her after the party, but Esme?”

He chuckled then, the sound music to my ears.

“All she would say is that she showed your mom the error of her ways. I couldn’t get anything more out of her.”

My eyes widened.

“I think I might know...”

I told them about the whisper I had heard in the kitchen, and together we agreed that we must’ve been seen by one or both of them. I was relieved that mom was okay with it, that she hadn’t tried to change me back into something I no longer wanted to be.

“She must’ve seen how happy we are,” I mused, almost to myself.

With his lips against my ear, his voice was gentle, barely above a whisper.

“And always will be, my love.”

 

~xxXxx~

 

The following morning we returned to Emmett’s for my car. Agreeing to meet Carlisle at home, I contemplated just taking the car and leaving, but I knew that Emm was home and I had to see him and apologise. They must’ve been watching out for me, as Rosalie answered the door immediately, a scowl on her face. I looked suitably cowed, and she stepped aside to let me in.

“Don’t worry us like that again!” Her tone was fierce as she turned to face me. I shrank back in surprise.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t...”

“You didn’t _think,_ that’s the problem! You assumed, didn’t you? You assumed he wouldn’t want you. Emmett filled me in on what happened and that you left Carlisle a _note_. You didn’t even want to talk to him first? You didn’t think you owed him that much?”

Swallowing hard, red in the face with shame, I couldn’t answer her. I had heard about Rosalie’s temper – I just didn’t think I’d ever be on the receiving end.

“Rosie, that’s enough now. He knows he was an idiot.”

Emmett appeared in the hallway, a welcome intervention at that moment. I smiled at him, and he shook his head at me before pulling me into a one-armed hug.

“Is it all sorted now? Are you and the doc okay?”

 “Better than okay. And yes, Rosalie, I was stupid and thoughtless. In my defence I felt it was for the best. Carlisle set me right on that one, and Lauren will be okay. Well, she has to stay in hospital for a little while, but she’s going to be fine.”

Emmett looked concerned and I filled him in on the details he had missed since I had arrived at his home unannounced. He whistled long and low.

“Poor kid. She’s pretty messed up. Those girls... I knew she was getting a hard time, especially after they saw you and the doc in the bar. I’m just glad for her sake she’s not pregnant; she’s had enough to deal with.”

I nodded in total agreement. We sat and talked, Rosalie making fresh coffee for all of us before joining us at the kitchen table. I turned to her.

“Have you spoken to Alice about this?”

She shook her head.

“I heard about all this last night from Emm. Alice and I, we tend to work the same shifts, but weren’t on last night so I haven’t seen her. I’ll keep her updated. Look, I’m sure Carlisle will be okay, Edward, but you know we’ll keep an eye on him to make sure.”

“Thanks, I’d appreciate it. I worry enough about him. Oh...”

She looked at me in surprise. I smiled.

“How are Alice and Jasper getting along? Has she said anything since he moved into my old place?”

Rosalie’s grin was suspiciously like Emm’s whenever he had a secret.

“You’ll have to ask her that! She hasn’t been home since Sunday, and considering that she hasn’t stopped smiling since she met him, I think they’re going good. Did you know that she and I share an apartment?”

I shook my head, frowning. I hadn’t known, but I had to admit it now that it made sense.

“Well, it looks like I’ll be moving in here at some point soon,” I watched Emm’s grin widen as she spoke, “and so she’ll most likely need to move if she can’t find another roommate to split the rent. I don’t intend to leave her in the lurch like that and I’ll help any way I can to get that sorted before I move. Thing is, I think that Jas wants her to move somewhere close by. Like really close if you get me.”

My mouth dropped open and Rosalie’s eyes sparkled. So many whirlwind romances!  Carlisle would be thrilled when I told him that both his girls were taking a chance on love, each making a life together with their special someones. Draining my coffee mug, I stood and hugged them both before leaving, congratulating them on the upcoming move. They promised a housewarming of sorts which I was definitely up for.

Carlisle was due at work in the morning, having eschewed the right to additional leave. I knew it was because he felt he had more control being there, being where Lauren was, even if he couldn’t be with her. I understood that. They had bridges to build and I knew they could do it, given time and patience, something my man had in spades.

But it meant that he would be home today. The smile spread across my face. I would make today count.

~xxXxx~

 

Parking the car outside, I went in search of my man.

I found him in the garden, the grass soaking wet from the heavy rain. I watched him tend the roses, clipping off the dead ones to keep the garden tidy and beautiful. He didn’t see me at first, and I allowed myself the voyeuristic pleasure of watching him bend and straighten, his talented hands snipping away at the delicate, fragrant display.

My eyes roamed over his ass appreciatively.  I was struck by the memory of an old 80s movie that mom and I had watched when I was younger. What was that line again? Oh yeah: _‘a head for business, and a bod for sin.’_

Never had sin looked and felt _so_ good.

Sensing me, he turned and grinned, dropping me a wink as he called to me.

“Like what you see?”

_Fuck yes._

“You know I do.”

My eyes raked lazily down his body. He walked toward me and my fogged mind saw it in slow motion, fixating on the wondrous distraction of his legs and hips. My breathing was irregular just from watching him; by the time he reached me I was leaning against the door frame, weak with need.

He knew.

Without a word spoken, he gazed at me, long and deep, before leaning in, his nose brushing my neck, his lips pressing a kiss to my throat. I gripped the door frame, my knees threatening to buckle when warm hands cupped my face, tilting it to his.

The feel of his breath, the agonising wait for his mouth on mine... oh, he knew.

I panted for air, seeing only him, wanting only him. His hands cradling my face meant I couldn’t lean into him, couldn’t reach forward and close that infinitesimal space between us where our hot breath coalesced.

He had me shaking, powerless, hypnotised.

His face hovered over mine, a heartbeat away, when his tongue flickered over my lower lip. An involuntary, needy groan escaped my throat, my tongue reaching for his. Seeing his prize, he captured it and kissed me deeply, making my world spin. My arms found his neck, holding him close; my tongue rejoiced in its fluttering dance with his.

My guttural groan vibrated through us both. He pulled back a fraction and I was glad of the post behind me as my balance was a little rocky.

Smiling, a little sheepish at my loss of control, I widened my eyes as I spoke.

“I think your tongue has magical powers.”

He quirked an eyebrow and my chest heaved at the inference of the gesture. His voice was seductive, bordering on a purr.

“Hmmm. Where would you like my tongue, Edward?” Butterfly kisses landed on the corners of my mouth and jaw, distracting me, clouding my mind. I stuttered, my eyes beseeching, as I asked for what I needed.

“M-my ass; I want to feel your mouth there again.”

His hands went straight to my belt, unfastening both it and my fly with practiced ease. Running the back of his fingers over my exposed and straining erection, he chuckled.

“I think a little taste might be in order before I go in for my prize.”

Before I could say a word, his soft lips caressed the head of my aching cock, causing it to swell impossibly harder. Despite my craving for more, I bucked into his mouth, sinking in deeper, seeking the pleasure of his tight throat. He indulged me once, and I felt my balls tighten a fraction in response to his swallow. He released me then, standing up and moving over to the couch.  Piling some cushions, he motioned to me to lean over the arm and make myself comfortable. I obeyed, knees shaky with arousal, and waited, my legs parted.

Like before, he caressed my cheeks, his thumbs parting them to open me up to his attentions. His tongue caught me by surprise, starting at the base of my balls and trailing upward a short distance. His warm breath on my hole made me tremble and I held my breath until I felt the caress of his tongue. My whimper of pleasure spurred him onward, and he lapped at my flesh, sweeping the flat of his tongue directly over my hole before using just the tip to draw circles around the furled muscle. I could feel my body relaxing even as I pushed my ass back further in silent encouragement.

He feasted on me, his dextrous tongue breaching me and stimulating my singing nerve endings. I was moaning constantly now, my cock aching and wet where I was rubbing it rhythmically against the arm of the couch.

Before I could lose all control, he eased me upright and bid me lay down on the couch, my knees up. Kneeling on the carpet, he took pity on my reddened, swollen shaft, sinking down deeply, just as a digit eased into my relaxed and open ass. I shuddered and bucked my hips, feeling a second finger quickly joining the first. When they started to pump in and out, I cried out helplessly, the words nonsensical and garbled as the wave of heat rose within me.

My back arched, red spots blooming behind my eyelids as I fell apart, convulsing inside his talented mouth and tightening around his fingers. He took everything I had to give, and when I finally opened my eyes, it was to see him watching me with a smile.

“Something tells me you really needed that.”

I flushed. “You’re incredible, you know that, right?”

He chuckled, eyes flashing with mischief. His laughter soon turned to moans when I pushed him to the floor and proceeded to return the favour with equal gusto.

 

~xxXxx~

 

Thursday morning dawned, and with it came Carlisle’s return to work. Knowing he had Alice, Rose and Alistair made me more comfortable, and I hoped that work would distract him enough to stop him fretting.

As for me, I had one stop to make before I started my shift at the bar.

Standing outside, my hand wavered for a second before knocking at the green door. When it opened, I saw her eyes widen slightly before she stood back, silently inviting me into her home.

“Edward, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?” Her eyes were kind, but I didn’t miss the swift glance to see if Carlisle were with me before the door closed. I cleared my throat.

“Uhm, Esme, I wanted us to talk, to try and move past all the recent upset and to lay the foundations of a friendship.” Despite our relationships with Carlisle, I still felt as if I were addressing Lauren’s mom, rather than another adult on an equal footing.

She looked at me for a moment and then surprised me with a gentle smile. Turning, she walked into a lounge room, indicating an empty space on the couch for me as she arranged herself neatly into what looked to be her favourite armchair. There was an open book lying over the arm of the chair and I wondered what she was reading. Scared I would lose my nerve at any moment, I carried on speaking.

“You must... I mean I hope that you know none of this was planned. Hurting Lauren the way I did, I feel so bad about that. More so in the light of these last few days. I can’t excuse myself or my actions. I love Carlisle, so much, but I couldn’t bear to see him in pain and so I thought it best that I break things off with him, just remove myself from the equation and let you all heal as a family...”

Her expression bordered on panic.

“No, Edward! You can’t do that! It will break Carlisle; he needs you now...”

I exhaled hard, my cheeks puffing. My fingers tried to tie themselves into anxious knots and I forced them to be still.

“Oh, believe me, I know that now. I made a fool of myself and I didn’t think it through. Thankfully I have Emmett to tell me straight when I’m being a total idiot. He’s very good at that. Carlisle came looking for me last night and took me home, and I swear to you that I will never leave again.” The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow. “Esme, I know you’ve never liked me and that’s okay.”

I looked up then, and saw eyes clouded with pain. Her voice was low and uneven.

“Edward, what you did...”

“I know. I’ll apologise every day if it means you will forgive me and accept me as part of Carlisle’s life. I-“

“No, Edward, no. What you did for Lauren in the hospital. It was selfless and brave and I am so very grateful to you for that. The physician taking care of her said that it was a positive step forward, Lauren being aware of what happened, admitting it to herself. That wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been there, if you hadn’t made her talk to you.” She looked away for a moment, her hair hiding her eyes from me. It was something that Lauren used to do. When she looked back, I could see she was trying to keep herself in check, but her voice was cracked and telling.

“Edward, thank you. The doctor said that he has seen cases like Lauren’s before when young people have crumbled under peer pressure and made bad choices, the kinds of choices that have serious repercussions on both their mental and physical health. For now, she is in the right place and is getting the help she needs. Carlisle and I will endeavour to do whatever we can when she comes home to help her rebuild herself. You have a part to play here too, Edward.”

I looked at her questioningly. “Anything, Esme.”

 “You are Carlisle’s support, the person he turns to in times of crisis. Be there for him is all I ask.”

I smiled, nodding in relief. “That I can do.”

Smoothing her skirt across her knees, she looked at me then with what looked like amusement in her eyes.

“So tell me, have you heard from your mother since the party?”

“As a matter of fact, I have. She gave the relationship her tacit approval when I took her to the airport, even though I could tell she struggled with it. But then a letter arrived yesterday, giving Carlisle her blessing. We wondered what you might have said to her.”

She had the grace to blush.

“As I said to Carlisle, I simply showed her the error of her ways. I can tell that you love Carlisle, and I know for a fact that he adores you. All your friends can see it too. But your mom... well, let’s just say that us moms take a little more convincing before we believe what’s right in front of us. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I laughed self-consciously.

“Yes, I believe I do. And thank you for what you did. It means the world to us.”

Rising to my feet, I stood awkwardly before turning for the door.

“I have to go, my shift starts shortly. Thank you, Esme. I’ll tell Carlisle we’ve made our peace.”

She gave me a genuine smile, standing and pulling me into a hug, pushing up on her toes to do so.

“Consider the slate wiped clean.” Her voice was forgiving, and I hugged her tightly for a moment in silent gratitude.

I left the house feeling like I had been absolved of my sins.

It felt good.  

~xxXxx~

 

  **4 WEEKS LATER**

**CPOV**

Lauren was home from the hospital and starting down the road to recovery.

The medical team were pleased with her progress after her two week inpatient stay, and her meds were working well. Despite initial hostility, I was visiting her at home each day before work and making sure that Esme kept me updated. Any unusual behaviour needed to be monitored, and her meds then checked if that eventuality arose.

Her pregnancy symptoms had gone and her sleep was less disturbed. She still cried, but could now sleep through the night without nightmares. Her mother reported that her appetite was starting to return, and there was light behind her eyes again.

I myself had witnessed the improvement; baby steps, but all in the right direction. She was attending her counselling sessions regularly and the reports were good.

I was saddened that she still refused to see Edward, and therefore by necessity my visits were made alone. He understood, but I knew that he struggled with it. I had been so proud of him for clearing the air with Esme as he hadn’t told me his plans. When he came back and told me what he had done, that they had made their peace, I had been so proud of him for taking control of a difficult situation. He told me that he hadn’t wanted her to feel obligated to forgive him because of hers and my relationship. I respected that.

Since my return to work, I had been filled in on Alice and Rosalie’s news. Rosalie had decided to delay moving in with Emmett for the time being. It transpired that Jasper and Alice were spending every minute of their limited spare time together, and in Rosalie’s opinion, they would be taking their relationship to the next level pretty soon as Alice has already moved some of her belongings to his apartment. As her best friend, she was prepared to wait for the official announcement so that they could both move out together. I had smiled at that; those girls were amazing and so deserving of those two great guys. Emmett and Jasper had struck gold there and we all had Edward to thank, in a roundabout kind of way, for our happiness.

Sitting in my office, I opened my laptop. It was my birthday in eight weeks time, and I had a plan. Signing up to the website for alerts, I fervently hoped the plan worked out because I knew that Edward would be thrilled.

But, for now, I was keeping quiet.

With a secret smile, I packed my laptop away in its case.

Checking my watch, I saw my shift was over and switched my white coat for my jacket.

I had a date with the handsome bar manager at McCarty’s.

**~xxXxx~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, mxpi1970.
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	23. Chapter 23

**CPOV**

Edward knew I was plotting something.

He tried to hide his curiosity, but the time that I caught him checking my browser history he went scarlet at being caught in the act.

“Looking for anything in particular, my love?”

He stuttered for a moment before recovering with a magnificent show of embarrassed nonchalance.

“Just considering buying one of these and thought I’d take a look.”

I tried not to smile. Over the past few weeks, he’d caught me closing the lid a couple of  times when he’d come too close, and I was glad I’d thought to use the incognito browsing feature for my plans; the lack of suspicious activity had clearly stymied him. I hoped it wouldn’t be too much longer before I could finally put him out of his misery.

“I didn’t know you were in the market for a laptop. We can go shopping this weekend if you like; we can find something perfect for you.”

“Sure.”  He grabbed his book from the arm of the chair and flopped down, his face despondent.

“Anything wrong, love?”

He sighed, his book landing on the carpet with a muted thud as he stood up again.

“What are you hiding?” His face was crumpled, his hands clenched and in that moment I felt bad for him. “I didn’t think we kept secrets.”

“Not a secret; a surprise.” I reached out for his hand and tugged him closer. He looked frustrated. I ducked my head, making him look at me. Squeezing his hands, I raised an eyebrow suggestively. “Don’t you like surprises?” Against his will, his lips twitched at the corners.

“Maybe; but you’ve been acting all secretive, and I was scared that...”

I looked him straight in the eye.

“Whatever you’re thinking? No. Just... no. Only good things, my love; we share everything. Except surprises.”

“Not even a clue?”

“No – I don’t want to spoil it.” I ran my fingers up his arm, encouraging him closer. “Trust me, love?”

“Of course I do.” His eyes held a reproachful look. “But how much longer?”

I chuckled at his impatience.

“Some things can’t be rushed.” I breathed out slowly. “And some things shouldn’t be.”

He blushed then, and I fell in love just a little bit more. He was a wonderful contradiction, so forceful when the mood took him and yet he reddened so beautifully whenever I insinuated sex in conversation. I wouldn’t change him even if it were in my power to do so. His flushed face ignited a fire within me, knowing what hid behind it. His desires were evenly matched with my own, our need for each other always simmering just below the surface. I had never been so happy, and this did not go unnoticed by friends and colleagues alike.

They all saw it. They all knew.

Edward Masen owned my heart.

Loving the heat in his cheeks, I pulled him in for a kiss. Passion, barely contained beneath his heated skin, burst free, enveloping me in its fiery embrace.

Sinking into his kiss, I burned too.

~xxXxx~

 

It was a couple of days later that I received the first email alert.

Further alerts followed and it was all systems go. I booked the tickets online and called Emmett to ensure Edward had the day off, freeing us up to leave early the next morning. I couldn’t wait to see his face when we got there; it was an experience we would share together.

Early the next morning, Edward’s impatient excitement almost made me spill the beans but I held it in. Despite not having the first clue about what the day (hopefully) held, he was brimming over with enthusiasm.

“Take a thick coat, love; it’s going to be cold later.”

He did just that, grabbing his scarf and gloves automatically while I made a flask of coffee to take with us. We had a long drive ahead to Anacortes where we would be catching the ferry across to San Juan Island. He was bemused by my tight lipped approach to the day, laughing eventually when he finally gave up cajoling me into telling him our plans. I knew that he would most likely guess once we arrived, and so I saw no harm in prolonging the mystery just a little while longer.

His hand slid over mine as it rested in my lap and I laced our fingers, content to spend the day having fun and making him happy. On his birthday he had given me a gift; this was my way of doing the same. We had made no plans for my birthday in less than a week’s time, and I thought that maybe we could go visit Demetri and Irina again, if Edward was in agreement. We could decide later; to be honest, as long as I spent the day with Edward, I didn’t care what we did.

Almost two hours later, we pulled up near the ferry landing and I parked the Mercedes. Unbuckling my seatbelt I paused, waiting for Edward to say something, but instead he looked confused.

“We’re going on the ferry? Couldn’t we have taken _New Beginnings_ out if you wanted a trip on the water?”

I scanned his eyes and realised he had no clue why we were here. Leaning in, I stole a quick kiss.

“Not this time. Come on! The ferry leaves in less than ten minutes.”

Clutching our tickets, we ran like children to board the ferry and find ourselves seats. However we soon gave up on the seating idea when we saw the scenery we would miss by staying inside. It was pretty busy, but fortunately, not as busy as the weekend would have been. Most people were taking their cars for a longer stay in San Juan; however we were going just for the day, the two of us on an adventure.

The views from the ferry were breathtaking. All around us were the islands, the mountains and so many birds filling the skies. The water was calm, the wind cold and fresh. Standing on deck, I wrapped an arm around Edward’s waist which he happily reciprocated.  Snuggled up close, we marvelled at the beauty of the Puget Sound spread out all around us.

Nearing the docking slip, I saw a black fin and saw that Edward’s eye had caught it too. His head whipped around to look at me.

“Was that a whale?”

“Looks that way; bet you didn’t expect to see one of those today!”

He beamed at me. “I can’t believe I saw one! How lucky are we?”

“Tell me about it.” I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Shame you didn’t bring a camera with you. But then, you weren’t expecting an Orca sighting, were you?”

He shook his head as he scanned the water for another glimpse.

“Hell, I wish I had!”

I smiled to myself, feeling the weight of the camera hidden in my pocket.

When we docked at Friday Harbor, I led him to the office to check in. With our reservations confirmed, we were led outside to join a small handful of other passengers waiting by a smaller craft, specially designed for tours. I watched Edward’s face when he saw the writing on the side of the boat: ‘whale watching tours’.

His face was a picture of excitement as he threw his arms around my neck, whispering “thank you thank you, thank you!” into my ear, his body shaking with adrenalin-fuelled happiness.

The other passengers watched us, observing our obvious closeness, and doubtless drew their own conclusions as to our relationship. I didn’t give a damn – I only had eyes for my love.  His smile filled my view and I wondered if I would even notice the whales when all my attention was focused on him and his reactions to the trip.

Once we were out on the waves, the guides started to tell us about the pods that passed through this stretch of water. The Orcas came to hunt Chinook salmon and were sociable around boats and humans provided a polite, safe distance was observed. The whales had been up to the boats the previous day, and the guides were hopeful they would visit us today.

Edward’s eyes were bright as diamonds, scanning the water for the first flash of a fin. The remainder of the group were quiet, expectant.

And then we saw it. The guide spoke.

“Here’s a young Orca; let’s see if she comes to say hello.”

As one we all turned, gasps of excitement mingling with the salty air. I felt Edward’s hand brush mine, and I reached into my pocket to retrieve the camera, handing it to him with a smile. He wasted no time in attaching the strap to his wrist and adjusting the settings, in preparation for a close encounter. As predicted, the whale swam nearer to the boat before popping her head out of the water in a quite obvious greeting. All around me, cameras clicked, her image captured by everyone on board as they leaned over the railings to get as close to her as possible. Sinking back into the water, her fin cruised alongside the craft before she surfaced again, rolling leisurely like a cat wanting her tummy tickled. The crowd couldn’t contain their cries of joy as the little whale performed like a pro for her enraptured audience, loving the attention.

Perhaps our little friend was the scouting party because, not long after, several members of the pod were swimming alongside, almost close enough to touch. We watched what could only be described as a happy display of their talents, breaching and slamming back down into the water sending sparkling spray over the delighted onlookers. There was laughter at their antics as they seemed to take turns in entertaining the crowd.

It was magical.

Despite his usual hesitancy in public, Edward’s arm snaked around my waist, pulling me in close so he could rest his chin on my shoulder.

“This is amazing, thank you so much. I can’t believe you remembered.”

“How could I not? You so wanted to see them. I just had to wait til they arrived in the Sound before I said anything.”

“Exactly how long have you been planning this?” His eyes were questioning.

“Since July; a present for you on my almost birthday. Fair’s fair my love. I owed you.”

My discreet wink had his colour rising again at the memory. I chuckled, moving my lips to his ear, the words soft, private and full of promise as I hugged him in tighter to me.

“I love you.”

His wide smile, lowered eyes, and heated cheeks told me he loved me too.

Edward took a stack of photos during that afternoon, including some of us, windswept and relaxed. No one bothered us for the longest time until one lady offered to take our picture for us. We thanked her, touched by her offer and her open smile, and she snapped a couple of shots of us cuddled up in the cold before handing back the camera with a knowing look.

When it was time to turn back to shore, Edward watched until the whales disappeared into the distance, not wanting to miss a glimpse of the amazing creatures. Back at the slip we disembarked, all talking about our experiences that afternoon and how the whales seemed to want to be close to the humans, curious about us. We nodded and smiled to the others as they left for other destinations, throwing the friendly lady smiles and nods as we waited to board the waiting ferry back to Anacortes.

This time we stayed inside, the wind now much colder as the afternoon wore on. I tightened Edward’s scarf playfully and he cuffed my arm with a gloved hand, loosening it again with a fake snarl and narrowed eyes. I sighed to myself, hoping that this constant desire to touch him never faded.

~xxXxx~

The past three months had been both wonderful and difficult.

Lauren’s recovery was going well, and I was now spending Saturdays with her again like I had before Edward and I met. She was responding well to our old and familiar routine, and I loved spending the extra time with my little girl. The downside was that I now only got to spend Sundays with Edward, and even then I often had to work if needed.

He was working his usual late shifts, and so while we got to sleep together most nights, we had little in the way of social time. It was also true that neither of us slept well without the other in the bed. When I came home after an all night shift, Edward would come back to bed to hold me until I sank into dreamland. If I wasn’t home when his shift ended, I often found him waiting up for me; more often than not he was asleep on the couch, a book upside down on the floor next to him.

Our Sundays were special when we did get to share them, though. Leisurely breakfasts and lovemaking were the order of the day. Any time left after that might see us actually leave the house, although more often than not we just craved each other’s uninterrupted company. With all his spare time alone at home, Edward was writing music and would play it for me at weekends. I was overwhelmed by the power of his playing, raw emotion rendered into exquisite music that left me breathless and in awe.

It was fair to say that we both lived for our Sundays.

Having this extra day with him, to be able to go out and do something fun and enjoyable together, was a gift in itself. The Chief was happy I was finally using some of my accumulated holiday time too, and so I was working on finalising some extra time off around Christmas for us to relax and enjoy the festivities.

I was sure Edward wouldn’t object.

~xxXxx~

 

**EPOV**

I couldn’t complain.

I knew when I moved in that we wouldn’t get to spend that much time together. The hours we worked weren’t exactly compatible, but at least we got to sleep in the same bed most nights. We also got very adept at sleepy sex, leaving the more energetic, passionate sessions for Sunday mornings. And Sunday afternoons...

Sundays were _our_ day.

 Carlisle’s birthday was coming up, and I had no idea what to do. There was nothing he needed, and to be honest, anything he wanted he would buy himself. My car was paid off now, thanks to mom and my savings on rent, but I still didn’t have that much money to use for a gift. It didn’t help that I could think of nothing that was good enough for him; it needed to be amazing. After all, he bought me a _piano –_ how could I compete with that?

But what I hadn’t known until I spoke to Alice a couple of months back was that his favourite movie, the one he kept secret through sheer embarrassment, was Top Gun. And as a bonus, it was the 25th anniversary of its release.

I spoke to Emmett, and he suggested we try and hire out a screen to watch the movie on Carlisle’s birthday, inviting him to the bar first to throw him off the scent. When I made the initial enquiry I found that I had to pay a large deposit to secure it for that showing, and it couldn’t be the more popular late showing, it would have to be the afternoon show. That worked okay; we could go for a meal and drinks afterward.  I talked it over with Emm and the girls, and they offered to chip in to top up what funds I had which worked perfectly. Alice and Rose also offered to invite Alistair and Liam if they were up for it.

It was all falling into place.

Then he started acting strange and secretive, and I stupidly let fear override my common sense, leading to me confronting him. Of course I was completely wrong; I felt even smaller when he took me to San Juan as a surprise and I discovered he’d planned a whale watching excursion for us because he knew just how much I would love it.

And I did. I loved him even more for thinking of it.

The whole day together was just incredible, and I hoped my own birthday surprise for him would go off as well as our day on the water had done.

~xxXxx~

I had given Carlisle instructions a few weeks back to book off his birthday from work. I knew that his boss wouldn’t object as Carlisle was a well known workaholic and didn’t take nearly enough breaks as it was.

The big day fell on a Monday, rather nice for us as that meant we got two full consecutive days together. It also happened that the rental fee for the cinema was considerably lower on Mondays and Tuesdays, enabling me to also purchase a more tangible gift with my left over funds.

Lying there, knowing we were spending the whole leisurely day together, I listened to his breathing as I waited for him to stir. As soon as he woke he shifted behind me, warm lips finding my neck. I couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on my face as I squirmed with pleasure.

A warm hand skimmed down my body as far as it could reach before slowly returning, nails lightly scratching over my hip, across the flat of my stomach and upward to tweak my eager nipple. Warm breath spilled across my throat as I inhaled sharply in response; I could feel his smile against my skin.

“Morning, my love.”

I wriggled against him in silent encouragement and felt his morning wood press against my ass in return. His hand slid down and cupped my ass cheek before pressing the back of my thigh, encouraging my leg up over the other. His firm cock now fit snugly along the length of my crease and he rocked back and forth, just enough to rub against my entrance and make my body shiver.

My head turned to whisper over my shoulder.

“Do you want to?”

His movements stilled and I wished I hadn’t said anything.

“Love, I wasn’t asking for anything. I just wanted to tease you a little to check you were awake.”

His lips found my earlobe for a moment and I relaxed until his teeth nipped the spot behind my ear that made me moan and buck reflexively. That movement caused me to push back against his cock and I felt dampness pool between my cheeks as he slid along a now ready lubed surface. Arching my back, I enjoyed the friction against my now tingling hole. He hadn’t touched my cock and neither had I, but I was hard as a maypole and dewy with moisture from his attentions.

The teasing was torture. I needed something, fingers, tongue, anything to assuage this burning need.

My voice was a low gasp.

“Please, love, I need more.”

His lips found my neck once more, kisses hot as fire heightening my desire. Leaning forward, I snagged my bedroom drawer, managing to locate a condom, handing it to him. The lube rolled out of reach and with a grunt I managed to catch the lid with my nails, scrabbling until I had it in my grasp. Carlisle’s cock was still stroking a damp rhythm over my fluttering entrance when I handed the bottle to him; I grew more impatient when I heard the click of the cap.

His fingertip circled and pressed against my entrance, slipping inside; I moaned with relief at the sensation and was rewarded with the smooth entry of a welcome second finger in my tight hole, circling and probing. Hot breath scorched the back of my neck and shoulders as I writhed under his attentions, desperate and eager to have him inside me again after so long. By the time I was rolling my hips, almost fucking his agile fingers, he curled them inside me and I shuddered uncontrollably when one glanced across my gland.

His talented fingers slid from me and he chuckled at my groan. I heard the rip of the foil packet and the click of the lube cap before his swollen shaft pressed into me, oh so slowly, stretching me still further. His arm held me flush against him, spooning me, setting a gentle, shallow rhythm.

“Is this what you wanted, my love?”

He slid in, deliciously slow, and I raised my knees towards my chest to deepen his movement.  I could only moan, my mind hazed with sensation, unable to focus on anything but the feel of him filling me and then sliding away. Each time that he almost slid free I felt the loss until my body rejoiced in his return, completing me, making me whole again.

My hand slid under and found his thigh, the powerful feel of it beneath my touch, tensing and releasing with each thrust, so primal, so erotic.

His hips rocked into me, his warm skin against mine so welcome, so essential to me now. I melted into him, one body, one soul. Without thought, my hand moved to my own hardness, but his hand batted mine away playfully. He stroked me in time with his movements, squeezing and tugging in tune to the slow nudging of his hips. Lifting my head, I craned my neck to look at him over my shoulder and was rewarded with a deep kiss before we broke apart, gasping.

My chest burned with the effort, my lungs struggling to pull in enough oxygen as my pleasure intensified, moment by moment, at the hands of my masterful lover.

His languorous strokes started to hasten, his hand working in sync with his hips sending my senses spiralling. Heat coiled in my groin, licking its way up my body, coursing through my veins before flaring white hot and urgent. With a harsh cry, I spilled over his hand, sobbing out his name as my body clenched tightly and rhythmically around him. He managed only two more shallow thrusts before I heard his strangled gasp, his head resting against my shoulder while he rode out his pleasure, his body jerking inside me.

We lay joined until our breathing steadied; with regret, I felt him slide from me, leaving me aching, but replete.

   ~xxXxx~

“You never cease to amaze me, my love. That was... incredible.”

All cleaned up, we were snuggled back under the covers, his sleepy, hazel eyes gazing into mine.

“I take no credit for that,” I brushed his lips with my own, “we just finished what _you_ started.”

My fingertips traced his beautiful face, marvelling as always at the fact that he was here, with me.

Remembering then, I rolled away and fished under the bed for the package I had hidden there. It was large and bulky and took both hands for me to lift it from the floor. I yelped when I felt a playful slap across my bare ass as I leaned over the edge.

I fell back onto the bed, clutching the parcel to me, and his eyes grew large.

“What’s this?”

I felt a pang of nerves, hoping I had done the right thing. This gift was for him, of course it was, but it was also for me; for us.

“It’s a _birthday_ present.” I raised my eyebrows. “Traditionally, these are given on such an occasion.”

He grinned and reached for it across the bedcovers. I gnawed my thumbnail as he ripped into the paper to reveal the contents.

I heard his intake of breath, and then silence as he gazed at the canvas.

After our whale watching trip I had downloaded the pictures from the camera. When I came across the ones taken by the kindly lady I had paused, swept away by the memory of the moment. I decided then to not show these to Carlisle just yet; I took them instead to the printers. The result was a canvas print of us, windswept and pink-faced from the cold, gazing into each others’ eyes like no one else existed.

It made my heart falter.

I looked at him now, transfixed by the picture. When he turned his head to me, I could see the emotion in his face.

“Edward...”

“Do you like it? It’s not much, I know, but...”

“Edward, it’s perfect.” His voice was low and husky, my pulse quickening in response.

He climbed out of bed, carrying the large canvas to the opposite wall. Reaching up, he removed the resident art print from its fixtures, setting it down gently against the wall before hanging the canvas on the hooks. I had to admit, it looked good.

_We_ looked good.

He walked back to the bed, crawling up the mattress to me, wonderfully naked. When he reached me I pulled him down into my arms, cupping his face to mine and crooking my leg over his to pin him down.

“Happy Birthday, love.”

   ~xxXxx~

We dragged ourselves out of bed and into the shower some time later, and while he was shaving, I managed to sneak a text to Emmett to confirm timescales.

We were to meet at the bar for 14:30 for birthday drinks, and then Emmett was driving us all to the cinema. My persuasive skills were at full strength today, and the suggestion of a drink with friends was met with an enthusiastic yes. He had mentioned something about going to see Demetri and Irina again, and so I had called ahead and booked us all a table for after the movie. It would be great to catch up with them, especially as Carlisle and I were now an established couple, and not on a nervous first date like before.

I smiled to myself. Carlisle had an afternoon of treats ahead to enjoy.

 He appeared from the bathroom, hair still a little damp, shaved and groomed to perfection.

“You really shouldn’t wear that black shirt you know.” My eyes swept over him hungrily, remembering that same polo shirt from our first date.

“Great minds think alike,” he smiled, his eyes devouring me in my favourite purple.

I held out my hand and he clasped it. Together we headed downstairs and out to my car.

Pulling into the parking lot, I looked around seeing only Emmett’s jeep. Carlisle looked a little dejected.

“Are we early? No one’s here.”

“Were you hoping to make a big entrance?” I teased, nudging his arm.

He tried his best to look affronted but couldn’t contain a grin. I climbed out of the car and waited for him to join me before we made our way inside.

Emm and Rosalie were waiting, Rosalie throwing her arms around Carlisle as soon as he walked in. He hugged her tightly, kissing her cheek in greeting. I saw his veiled disappointment when he saw that there was no one else in the room.

“Emmett – have you closed the bar?”

“No, dude; the bar’s always quiet at this time; the lunch rush just finished.” He ducked under the bar. “What can I get you?”

Carlisle looked at me. “Well, I’m not driving so I’ll take a Jack Daniels and coke. Edward?”

“I’ll take an OJ, thanks Emm. I want to keep a clear head.” I slid onto a barstool next to him, trying not to think about what we’d done over one of these seats. Judging by the way he looked at me, he was thinking along similar lines.

Emm slid our drinks over, before coming back around to sit and chat. They were full of their news, Emmett almost glowing with pride that his beautiful girl was going to be living with him. Rosalie was radiant, chattering to Carlisle about their plans and I was happy to sit back and listen.

A short time later, Emm caught my eye and subtly looked at his watch. I nodded.

“So guys, time to move this party on.” Carlisle looked up at Emmett in surprise and then to me with a confused smile. I shook my head reassuringly.

Emmett called through to the back room. “Riley? Break’s over!”

He appeared with a tea towel over his shoulder and started to unload the dishwasher.

“Have fun, guys!” I looked around to see Riley’s wave as we left the warmth of the bar and stepped out into the empty lot.

Carlisle had turned towards the Volvo when I caught his arm.

“This way.” I led him to the Jeep and he shook his head in bemusement. When we were settled in the back, he turned to me.

“Is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?”

Emmett laughed loudly and Carlisle’s eyebrows rose.

“It better not be embarrassing, that’s all.” Emmett laughed even louder and Carlisle just shook his head in defeat. I leaned over and kissed his cheek before looking at him, trying to keep a straight face.

“No matter what happens after this, just remember it was all Alice’s idea.”

Emmett’s laugh exploded around the car and even Rosalie covered her face to hide a smirk.

   ~xxXxx~

 I had paid a little extra to have the sign outside the cinema covered so the film wasn’t displayed. After his surprise for me with the whale watching, I wanted this to be a fun surprise for him too.

Once inside I heard a squeal and the tornado otherwise known as Alice hurled herself at Carlisle for a hug. He caught her easily, kissing her hello. Jasper nodded and grinned, slapping his shoulder in greeting. The last couple to arrive were Alistair and Liam, and another round of hugs ensued.

We all got our complimentary popcorn and drinks – Emmett got both sweet and salted as he said he couldn’t choose – and, loaded up with goodies, we climbed up to the premium seats and got settled in.

Carlisle took a sip of his coke and leaned over.

“Where _is_ everyone? This is bizarre. And why were the snacks free?”

I caved. Clearing my throat, I spoke to everyone.

“Guys? It’s time to tell him.”

A chorus of ‘Happy Birthday!’ rang out through the auditorium amid chuckles and whoops. He turned to me with a heartbreaking smile in the half-light.

“This is all for me? Just us, all together? This is incredible! Thank you, all of you.”

Emmett turned around, swallowing a mouthful of slushy and wiping his lips.

“As tomorrow’s Halloween, we were going to stay home and watch scary movies, but I happen to know you guys have a very scary movie in that collection that we don’t need to see. It certainly scared me.”

_Oh god; please stop talking, Emmett._

 “How would you know how scary it was, Emm? Thought you didn’t watch it?” Carlisle countered with a smirk.

I looked at him in surprise.

The others were curious then, all turning to listen in.

“What movie? Guys? What’s he talking about?” Alice’s eyes were round.

Honestly, I wanted to throttle Emmett at that moment.

“It’s nothing for you to worry about, Alice. Emmett’s just being dramatic.”

Alistair looked at me then at Carlisle with a very knowing smile.

“You guys made a movie, didn’t you! Your own little private movie! Don’t deny it, I can tell from your faces!”

“No we didn’t, thank you, Alistair!” Carlisle’s hand captured mine and he lifted it to his lips.

“Not intentionally,” Emmett mumbled, before being cuffed across the head by Rosalie.

Fortunately for us, Alistair was too far away to hear Emmett’s comment and I thanked our lucky stars for that. As for Rosalie – I silently thanked her for her timely intervention, although I was slightly concerned that she knew more than she had let on.

Just then the curtains opened and our attention was diverted to the screen.

“So - what are we watching?” He looked at me questioningly, just as the opening bars to the Top Gun anthem started to play. His face was a picture, and just as I wished I had the camera, Alice turned around and snapped a picture of him, red faced and grinning.

“Alice – you told them! I cannot believe you told!”

Laughter rang through the auditorium as the opening credits played. We settled in to watch, munching popcorn and supping icy drinks.

By the time Maverick and Charlie were getting naked, Carlisle’s devastatingly expert kiss was taking _my_ breath away.

   ~xxXxx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I last posted, my boys have won Best Slash Story in the Wordsmith Awards! I am humbled by this and can only say a huge thank you to anyone that nommed or voted for them. 
> 
> I also discovered this week that my boys have been nominated for best non-canon pairing in the Non Canon awards which is just amazing! Thank you again to anyone that nominated them. 
> 
> Thanks to my beta, mxpi1970. 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.


	24. Chapter 24

**EPOV**

“We’re done.”

I looked over at Carlisle, an empty box in my hands.

His eyes met mine and he nodded before looking away.

Together we gazed up at the enormous Christmas tree in the lounge room, bathing us in the rich glow from hundreds of tiny, coloured lights.

It was our first Christmas together and we were doing everything we could to make it perfect, to be one we would always remember.

Carlisle’s hand reached for mine and we took a moment to just admire our handiwork. I turned in surprise when he then let go, reaching for a small shoebox amongst the debris of empty decoration boxes strewn around our feet. I put down the box.

“We forgot one thing.” Opening the box, he delved carefully into it and produced a small, vintage angel figurine. “This lady belongs on top. Will you do the honours?”

I grinned, and reached for the step ladder, settling it into place to reach the topmost point of the tree.

“Be careful, she’s old and fragile, and parts of her are loose. I keep meaning to try and fix her every year and I always forget.”

I climbed onto the second rung of the ladder, reaching down for the angel, preparing to place her on the uppermost bough of the evocative, fragrant tree. Leaning forward against the ladder for balance, I was about to secure her into place when she flopped forward, her halo unravelling and falling into my hand.

“Carlisle, you really should fix this before we put her up. It’s far too heavy for...”

I stared at the object nestling in my palm.

I turned to look down at him and the words froze in my throat when I saw my man on one knee, his eyes shining up at me, colours from the twinkling tree lights playing over his hair. He cleared his throat.

“Edward Masen, when I look into my future all I see is you. Will you marry me and be mine forever?”

Blinking hard, I stepped carefully down the ladder, falling to my knees on the carpet in front of him. My hands found his face and I gazed into the eyes of the man I wanted to wake up next to for the rest of my life.

“There’s nowhere else I want to be, and no one else I want to be with. Yes, Carlisle, of course I’ll marry you.”

I kissed him and felt his whole body relax into it. His soft lips moulded to mine, arms winding around me, pulling me in tightly against his warmth. When we broke apart, I rested my cheek against his before finding my voice.

“You weren’t scared I’d say no, were you?”

He chuckled against my ear.

“Maybe a little worried that you wouldn’t feel ready, that’s all, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I had to ask.”

Lifting my head, I met his gaze with a smile.

“I’m ready; in fact, the sooner the better!”

Remembering the halo in my hand, I opened my hand to examine the object. Carlisle sounded uncharacteristically nervous.

“They’re platinum. I got us both the same, but if you don’t like it, we can get another....”

_Not like it?_ I didn’t know much about men’s jewellery having not had the money to spend on such luxuries, but I could tell that the ring in my hand was exquisite.

“It’s gorgeous.”

He took it from me and slid it onto my ring finger, smiling delightedly.

“Perfect fit! I measured your finger with a piece of paper when you were asleep; I was so worried I’d get the wrong size!”

Looking down at my hand, the ring circling my finger snugly like it belonged, I saw the glint of diamonds embedded in the sheen of the metal. On closer inspection, I noticed something else. The tiny stones formed a ‘C’. Reaching into his pocket, Carlisle pulled out his matching band and I saw the same diamonds there, instead forming an ‘E’.

I swallowed hard, not able to speak.

Carlisle interpreted my silence correctly.

“I had them made for us.” He half laughed, somewhat self consciously. “I wanted them to be as special as you, but I realised that was impossible. This was as close as I could get.”

With a knot of warmth unfurling in my chest, I took one more look at the diamonds sparkling in the intimate light before sliding the ring regretfully from my finger, handing it to him for safekeeping together with his own.

“I can’t wait for the day I get to wear that forever.” Leaning into him, I felt his strong arms enfolding me when my head found his shoulder, my nose in his neck.

His lips brushed my ear.

“Let’s make it soon.”

~xxXxx~

 

“How are we doing in here?”

Alice entered the room beaming, looking me up and down approvingly.

“Do I pass, Alice?”

Her hands clasped over her chest.

“So handsome!”

The smile that I couldn’t contain spread over my face at the thought of what I was about to do.

“Is mom okay?”

“She’s fine – oh, here she is now.”

My mother, in true form, came straight over to me and adjusted my tie, fussing with my collar. I let her do whatever she wanted because I knew it was simply her way of showing her love for me.

“My beautiful boy, all grown up. I’m so proud.” Her voice cracked and I hugged her tight for a moment.

“I love you too, mom. You better go take your place out there.” I kissed her temple.

I looked over at a smiling Alice. She looked so beautiful with her aqua dress, sparkling with crystals, swirling fluidly around her skyscraper heels. Seeing my gaze sweeping her ensemble, she twirled and her dress rippled like the sea. I leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Come along, Edward – it’s time!”

She floated off to the main room and I heard her say the same words. My heart was in my mouth as I waited for my first look at Carlisle in his finery. On Alice’s cue, we stepped out of our makeshift changing rooms and into the main room, walking the short distance to where our friends and family waited in a backlit semi circle of almost unearthly light. There might have only been a few people standing waiting, but we had an audience of thousands.

When at last we stood before the Officiate, I couldn’t restrain the smile of happiness that bloomed on my face. My hand edged toward his, seeking reassurance and contact, and my smile grew wider still when his fingers found and laced with mine.

It was so right that we were doing this here, the scene of our first official date, with all the creatures of the sea bearing witness to our solemn vows.  The light from the Dome was breathtaking, bathing everyone present in its soft glow, casting shadows far across the open space. The soothing sounds of the water calmed me, enabling me to focus and fully appreciate this moment, this memory in the making.

Looking around me I saw the smiling faces of Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, my beloved mom clutched Emmett’s other arm, Alistair and Liam, and Esme. Rosalie was dressed in a darker shade of blue that accentuated her features, but in a similar style to Alice. Emmett looked proud enough to burst. I saw Jasper’s hand clasp Alice’s and a smile pass between them; their love shone.

Esme had told us that Lauren couldn’t face seeing us take our vows and had asked that we not expect her for the main event but set a place for her at the reception. We had agreed and I knew that Carlisle was hoping beyond hope that she would come and face the reality of this day; who knew, maybe she would even enjoy herself, given time.

When it was time to take our vows, my voice was shaky with emotion as I declared my love for Carlisle before our family and friends. My final words were my promise to him:

“I never thought that love like this existed outside the movies. I certainly never expected to find it for myself. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I will never take it for granted; I will be thankful every single day of my life that I found you.”

I took the ring from Emmett, the diamonds sparkling in the reflected light, and placed it on the finger of the man I loved before lowering my head to brush a kiss over his knuckles.

When it was his turn to speak, Carlisle was, as always, poised and refined. Speaking clearly, his eyes never leaving mine, he spoke of our bond and our strength as a couple in that we had endured so much to get us here today. I felt tears prick my eyes when he then spoke to me as if we were alone:

“Learning to love again is like learning to fly, trusting that one person to always catch when you fall. Edward, my love, with you my heart soars. I love you now and forever.”

I held my breath, burning every precious sentiment into my memory, until he reached out to Alistair for the remaining ring and placed it reverently onto my finger where it would sit for evermore. Our hands clasped together once again, he raised them to his lips to kiss my finger above the gleaming band.

I vaguely saw my mom dabbing her eyes.

We turned to face the Officiate, her smiling face so genuine, and heard the words we were waiting for.

“By the power vested in me by the State of Washington, I now pronounce you husbands to each other.”

We turned to each other and I felt my heart swell to impossible proportions, unable to contain my love for the beautiful man gazing at me. I vaguely heard the words “You may kiss if you wish,” before Carlisle’s lips found mine in a kiss so tender and loving that it catapulted me back to that ‘first’ kiss of ours in this very spot, evoking all the same feelings of desire and longing from that night.

Somewhere in the distance I heard the soft ripple of applause from our approving audience.   

~xxXxx~

After Carlisle had proposed, we had broken the news to our friends and family. My mom was wonderful, and said she had been waiting for this day to come. I felt humbled that she had finally taken it in her stride and was embracing it with all the traditional enthusiasm of a proud mother of the groom.

After that, Christmas was a joyous affair. Our angel now sat regally atop our tree, new halo in place, and I smiled at her every time I entered the room. Presents for everyone were underneath awaiting the Christmas Eve get together we were throwing. I had been hesitant about it, feeling that the others may have alternative plans, but it turned out that it was a regular event in their circle, and Emmett and Jasper would have to learn to go along with it if they knew what was good for them. This made me smirk and I just knew that the girls had probably made and enforced that particular rule.

In the past Emm and I had traditionally shared a few beers at mom’s house on the night before Christmas, saving the rest for the day itself to wash down a spectacular lunch. This year he and Rosalie were spending it together, as were Carlisle and I, and my mom was coming down on Boxing Day to spend a little time with us. It was all change for us all, and as it turned out, this party was a great way of seeing everyone and kicking back before the big day.

We served rustic, simple food, nothing rich or heavy, and all sat around eating and chatting. Old Christmas movies played in the background, evoking the magic of childhood Christmases along with the fragrant spruce - a wonderful scent of tradition. It wasn’t a crazy party, there was no karaoke and only a little slow dancing to the classic Christmas crooners, but it was wonderful - a lull before the craziness of the day itself.

The others left just after midnight amid a flurry of hugs and kisses, arms clutching parcels that Carlisle and I chosen together. Closing the door, Carlisle clicked the locks and walked back into the softly lit lounge room where I waited, the strains of White Christmas spilling softly from the speakers. With a heartbreaking smile, he gathered me into his arms and we let the song carry us away.

When Bing became Nat King Cole, Carlisle kissed my throat before murmuring against my neck:

“Have you ever made love under a Christmas tree?”

My hands sank into his hair, holding him in place as he placed slow, open mouthed kisses against my sensitive neck.

“Not yet, no.”

Hot kisses trailed up under my jaw until they reached my parted lips. When he nipped my bottom lip my tongue reached for his and they fluttered in greeting before our mouths joined fully in a deep, heated kiss. My heart rate soared at the fervency of his touch, desire flooding my being, a long groan escaping my chest.

When our lips parted, he murmured breathlessly:

“I think we should rectify that situation...”

He captured my mouth once again, the pair of us sinking to the rug. My hands found his shirt buttons and I revelled in the simple pleasure of undressing him, baring his body to my hungry eyes. I grinned as I teasingly loosened his belt, preparing to open his pants, but he took me by surprise when he suddenly rolled me over. He now had the upper hand and I was about to fight back when he lazily stroked my awakening flesh through the fabric of my pants, his eyes burning into mine.

I surrendered; his gaze held a promise that needed to be honoured. I submitted to his massaging fingers, the feel of the zipper chafing my flesh only adding to my arousal.

“Tease...” I breathed.

“You love it.”

His eyes widened in response, his fingers dragging down my zipper. In seconds my belt was open, the fabric parted to reveal my cock, swollen and desperate for attention. He knelt over me, dipping his head down to lick the tip, mouthing it with his lips before circling the point of his tongue around the sensitive head. I bucked upward, trying to encourage him deeper, but he just shook his head from side to side, holding my gaze as his tongue danced across my aching flesh. It was maddening.

I found myself divested of my pants, whilst my hands finished off the task of loosening Carlisle’s. They slid down and bunched around his thighs, thus forcing him to free himself. Sitting back on his heels, his underwear bulged in the most obscene manner. I reached out to cup his imprisoned balls, giving them a gentle squeeze, his sharp intake of breath all the reward I needed.

With Carlisle still on his knees, I pushed myself up, tilting my head back as far as it would go to meet his lips. His tongue flicked under my top lip, his breath warm on my skin, lips hovering just out of reach. A current of heat burned through me when we finally kissed, his feather light touch inflaming my senses. My hand slid up his thigh to his firm ass, cupping one luscious cheek through the cotton. So slowly, my fingers slipped under the waistband and I felt warm, solid flesh under my palm. Letting my fingertips whisper down his crease, I felt him shiver under my touch, his cock hardening still further against my stomach. Hands splayed across my ribs as he kissed me again, my neck straining as I strived in vain to deepen it. Refusing to be denied, my fingers sought out his treasure and began to trace circles around the tight furl. As I had anticipated, he leaned forward, granting me better access to both his ass and his lips; I teased him with a fingertip, loving his moans of encouragement.

My need for him was urgent and powerful.

“Stay right where you are.”

I shuffled across the rug to the desk. Locating the condoms and bottle of lube secreted in the desk drawer, I walked back over to him on my knees, my erection leading the way. He still knelt, waiting in the same position as instructed, and I took a moment to enjoy the sheer erotic delight of sliding down his underwear and baring his perfect ass to my view before feasting my eyes on his engorged flesh standing proudly to attention.

“You’re beautiful.” The words were little more than a sigh of desire.

Shuffling up behind him, I ran my thumbs up his spine, my tongue following the same path. When my mouth reached his neck I moulded my body against his, my tongue finding his ear and slipping inside, feeling the flare of goose bumps shiver across his skin. When he leant back against me, I spread my knees for balance; my hands slid under his arms and wandered over his chest, holding him flush to my body. As I teased his delicate shell, his guttural groan vibrated through my fingertips as they fluttered over his nipples, grazing the stiffened peaks before gliding down to his stomach. Carlisle’s breathing was harsh, his body jerking when I scratched my nails across the sensitive skin above his groin.  

Flexing my hips, I rubbed my cock along his crease, leaving him in no doubt of my intentions. His head fell back, eyes closed, and my palm stroked his throat and neck, lowering my face to nibble and kiss along his jaw. I dragged my lips back up to his ear and leaned in.

“Want you...”

He could only gasp out his response:

“Please...”

Shifting backward, I eased him down onto the rug, the tiny coloured lights forming a kaleidoscope pattern across his skin.

I wanted to worship him, overcome with the beauty laid out before me. Crawling up his body, I ran my tongue from his taut sac up the length of his straining erection, savouring the sound of his sighs. Retreating back, I encouraged him to lift his legs, giving me access to his delectable ass. I took my time, lapping at his entrance, listening to his moans increase in volume whenever my tongue breached his tightness. Reaching blindly for the condom and lube, I coated my fingers before gently entering him, testing his readiness for me. His body swallowed my fingers with ease, his eagerness apparent, and I ripped open a condom packet, smoothing it down my throbbing length.

Taking a steadying breath, I pressed into him, feeling his hand grip my bicep when I was fully seated inside his welcoming warmth. Leaning over him, I slid one hand under his head, supporting his neck so I could feast on his succulent lips and get lost in the darkness of his eyes.

It was truly a meeting of souls, each slow thrust transporting me home to where I wanted to be. Our combined gasps escalated as I slid in and out of his tightness, each withdrawal only serving to heighten the anticipation of my next thrust when he would welcome me back inside his temple once more.

I felt his muscles clutch me, trying to keep hold of me, and I wanted to stay there in that perfect moment of synchronicity.

_He is mine and I am his. He’s all I will ever need._

I sank into him, feeling a deep connection that words could not express. It was beyond intense; the raw passion in his loving eyes sent me spiralling and I knew I was about to come undone. His hand reached up and cupped my face, the emotion etched on his beautiful face matching my own as he cried out my name in ecstasy, jets of come splattering his stomach. I slowed my movements, riding the edge until my own blinding orgasm consumed me, my eyes never leaving Carlisle’s as his body clutched me tightly.

After I reluctantly slid from his welcoming body, I collapsed onto the rug next to him. He whispered to me with a chuckle:

“Doesn’t the tree look lovely from this angle? Merry Christmas, my love; you’re the best present I could have hoped for.” 

My heart swelled with love for him as I stroked his cheek with my thumb.

“Merry Christmas, love; I can’t wait to be your husband.”

~xxXxx~

We had appointed Alice as our wedding planner with strict instructions to run everything by us before booking. The venue had been Carlisle’s idea and it was perfect. My only regret, if you could call it that, was that I had a secret longing to be on a beach somewhere hot, the two of us dressed in cool white linen on equally white sand, saying my vows to a celebrant with only a couple of locals for witnesses. I knew it was a selfish notion and I had no intention of denying friends and loved ones the opportunity to be present on our big day. It was the one fantasy that I couldn’t have and I pushed it to the back of my mind.

The next couple of months had passed in a whirl of suit fittings and menu samplings. Alice went in search of the perfect cake topper, determined to find a blond groom and a red head. I did offer to magic marker a blond one and turn it red but her face made me think better of it.

Alice could be scary when she was on a mission.

Our guests had started to arrive for the reception whilst the private wedding ceremony was taking place. Walking out into the otherworldly space, one entire wall displaying all the marine life of the Sound, I was amazed at what Alice’s planning skills had accomplished. We had managed to agree a smaller wedding that was usually permitted by the venue due to Carlisle’s friendship with Sam. The end result was a gathering of mine and Carlisle’s friends and colleagues, along with the main wedding party. I was especially thrilled to see Irina and Demetri from the restaurant, having not had the chance to go see them since Carlisle’s somewhat rowdy birthday dinner. Memories flashed before my eyes as I remembered the fun we had had: the cake made by Irina herself for her friend, the laughter, the teasing and the singing, and not forgetting the gratuitous use of Top Gun quotes whenever possible.

It had been a fantastic night.

Scanning the room now, I realised who I was searching for. I felt my shoulders slump with relief when she appeared, looking somewhat younger and less confident than I remembered. She gazed around nervously at the faces of those both familiar and unknown to her, and I went in search of my husband. He was talking to the Officiate, shaking her hand as she prepared to leave. Catching his eye, I discreetly signalled to him and he took his leave to follow me into the room. I wordlessly nodded to the door and saw him exhale, touching my hand before heading through the guests towards his darling daughter.

Keeping out of sight across the room, I saw Lauren’s face light up when she saw him, her arms reaching out to hug him tightly. I saw her speak and to my surprise I watched Carlisle turn, his eyes roving the room until he saw me. His smile told me everything was okay and I relaxed and nodded, my worries finally erased.

After the meal it was time for our first dance. As the soft strains of a love song poured from the speakers, Carlisle took my hand and led me to the dance floor, my arms winding themselves around him.

_The song of a little bird_

_The joy in three little words_

_I know it’s real_

_That’s how it feels_

_To be loved by you_

I felt my husband’s loving arms hold me tightly and I buried my face in his neck, my eyes closed, as we moved to the music.

_A smile to put you on a high_

_A kiss that sets your soul alight_

_Would it be alright if I spent tonight_

_Being loved by you_

_If everybody knows_

_It’s only ‘cause it shows_

I felt his hand on the back of my neck, his fingers caressing the nape and I pressed a subtle kiss to his throat as we swayed.

_Your love is released_

_And you move me with ease_

_And you rescue me time after time_

_Oh oh you give your all_

_And you take it all in your stride_

“I love you.”

The words uttered so softly into my ear sent shivers of joy rippling through my entire body. My nose caressed his cheek, my lips yearning for his.

_Oh with all the power of a symphony_

_That’s how my heart beats when you’re holding me_

_I can’t conceal, this is how it feels_

_To be loved by you_

_Oh yeah, to be loved by you_

_If everybody knows, it’s only ‘cause it shows_

_Because I take your love everywhere I go_

I lifted my head to meet eyes so full of love and trust that I felt a lump in my throat. As the song reached its crescendo, the lyrics so meaningful to both of us, he rested his forehead against mine, his lips now only a breath away.

_I know what it is I need, it’s clear as a shallow stream_

_It’s as it seems, my only dream’s_

_to be loved by you._

Uncaring that we were being watched by friends, family and colleagues, as the song faded out we kissed, the pull between us so strong that we could no sooner deny it than fly to the moon.

One thing was for certain - I would never deny him for as long as we both should live.

~xxXxx~

Hawaii was every bit as beautiful as I had imagined.

Even more stunning was the secluded island outside of Waikiki where we reaffirmed our vows, standing barefoot on powder white sand by a turquoise ocean, both dressed top to toe in white linen open-necked shirts and pants.

The ceremony was like a dream, the pair of us relaxed and starry-eyed as we made our promises to each other under the open skies.  Our witnesses took lots of pictures of us standing before the celebrant, holding hands, green maile leis around our necks as we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives.

I knew I would never ever underestimate my handsome husband; he had known about my dream and had made it happen for us when he booked our honeymoon in Hawaii. The wedding package was arranged separately, and our clothing packed in his suitcase to ensure I had no idea.

When he finally let me in on the secret, he was radiant, explaining simply that he considered himself the luckiest man in the world to marry his love twice. As he had kept the entire arrangement a secret from everyone, we could only imagine how surprised our friends back home would be when we emailed them the pictures.

Two weddings, two sets of perfect memories.

One incredible husband.

How was it possible to love someone so much?  I had no idea.

All I knew was that I fell even more in love with him with every passing day.

~xxXxx~

 

**ONE YEAR LATER**

**CPOV**

“Cheers!”

The word rang out as we all raised our glasses in a toast.

It was Edward’s and my first wedding anniversary and we were spending it with dear friends. ‘ _New Beginnings_ ’ was moored at Bainbridge Island and we were having drinks and lunch on deck after a leisurely stroll around the island. It was warm and sunny, the sea calm as a mill pond.

Emmett was laughing, a beer in his hand, when Rosalie suddenly grimaced. He was at her side in a second, holding her hand to steady her.

“You okay, Rosie?”

Her hand rubbed circles on the swell of her belly as she smiled ruefully.

“I think she’s wearing hob nail boots in there - that kick nearly knocked me off my feet.”

Emmett sat her down and fussed over her to make sure she was comfortable. To my surprise she didn’t object, allowing him to help her with a somewhat weary smile.

“Not long now.” I smiled at her, Emmett’s face showing a mix of worry and excitement at the imminent birth of his baby daughter. “That is one lucky little girl to have you two as her mommy and daddy.”

Emmett‘s face relaxed.

“She’ll do okay, especially with two strapping godfathers to pick up the slack!”

He grinned at us, happy that Edward and I had agreed to the honour. As if we could have ever said no! Edward had been over the moon when they asked us and planned to spoil her rotten when the time came. I was thrilled to be invited into the life of another precious little girl who would be so loved by everyone around her.

There was one more surprise to come today that only Edward and I were privy to. When everyone held a glass of something, either champagne or sparkling grape juice, Jasper turned to a beaming Alice, reaching into his pocket.

“Alice Brandon, on this special day with all our friends around us I wanted to ask you one little question.” He popped open the box in his hand and held it out to Alice whose mouth had dropped open in shock. “Will you marry me, Alice?”

Her face flushed pink with joy and she squealed as she hugged him. He had to carefully extricate himself long enough to place the ring reverently on her finger where it twinkled in the sunlight. More drinks were dispensed to properly toast the happy couple and I marvelled at how far we had all come in a little under two years.

Edward and I were married and happier than I ever dreamed possible, Emmett and Rosalie were having a baby, and now Jasper and Alice were heading up the aisle.

Life was good.

I reached out my hand to Edward, pulling him in close with a smile.

Our lips met and for just a moment everyone else melted away. When we parted with a soft sigh, he stroked my jaw, his rich green eyes capturing mine.

“Happy Anniversary; I love you so much.”

Gazing back at him, I gave him the only answer I could.

“Happy Anniversary, my love; this is only the beginning for us.” Unabashed, I kissed him again before smiling blissfullly. “And I love you more.”

~The End~

~xxXxx~

A/N – the song played is To Be Loved by Westlife. It’s just so perfect for their dance: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE11CG1w6_I>

Thank you to everyone that read and loved this story, to everyone that nominated it for awards and to everyone that voted. It breaks my heart to leave them, it truly does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are the words I never wanted to write – here is the final chapter. I have shed so many tears saying goodbye to these boys, but the time has finally come for me to leave them.
> 
> Since ch23 posted, my boys have won Best Other Non Canon Paring in the Non Canon Awards & second place in those same awards for Best Romance. I am overjoyed for them & can only say thank you to anyone who voted. This story has done better than I ever dreamed possible & I, for one, can’t believe it’s over. I hope you’ve all enjoyed the ride as much as I have.
> 
> Thanks to my beta and friend, mxpi1970. 
> 
> As always, all characters created and owned by Stephenie Meyer.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally an entry to the CarlWard Contest.  
> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2705041/


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